Month: November 2023

Yep, I’ve let things slip. I was writing every day, I was letting my fears, frustrations, hopes and dreams out. Being honest, exorcising the demons.

Trauma has a way of taking you out of yourself, disconnecting, finding that you’re drifting through life, surviving not living.

It’s the day of November today, the year’s almost done, here’s something I’ve learned…

Hurry has no place here – if you’re going to have a satisfying and joyful life.

Stress is inevitable, don’t try and fight it by failing to acknowledge it’s there. There are ways to deal with it and, despite this sounding a really passive and scary thing, slowing down to speed up (that I learnt from Tim Ferriss) is a winner.

Try as you might to get everything you want done all the same time is a recipe for procrastination and burnt out. 

The body is not designed to be under constant pressure, short-sharp bursts yes, relentlessly and perpetually no.

Fucking Relax! Then get to work.

You think you have an idea of ‘history’.

This happened, then that happened and something else resulted from that. 

World War I started because some bloke shot an archduke out on parade.

No, no, no, no, no.

Nothing exploded and then we have an ever expanding universe. (A bullet that was fired and then sped up?!)

How the fuck can we know that? How is that even possible?

Why did he break up with me?

Why did she leave me all on my own?

How could they have behaved like that?

Questions, questions, questions.

Start asking some good ones, like…..

What can I do today that my future self will thank me for and that’ll make me feel good, even great, about yourself.

You can’t know what other people are thinking.

Nor can you know that other people are feeling.

Start to be decisive, make sense of your reality and everything will follow.

Sometimes in life, there’s a high price to pay for your decisions.

What’s the result?

Are you being more truthful?

Are you being more honest about who you are?

Are you living with more integrity?

Those, my friend, are the real questions to ask.

It’s painful to let go of what you thought you loved, it’s ego death. The universe fooled you, it seems, and you feel resentful.

Many a harsh word has been thrown at doomed scenarios, you have to learn to roll with the punches and take a fucking battering. It’s edifying.

If you live to tell the tale, here’s what, it didn’t kill you and you’re stronger than you believe.

Keep going.

I’ve had a half-completed jigsaw on my table for a while now. Jigsaws are so tantalising, they invite you to get the job done, to complete the picture, to make sense of things by putting them in order.

Relationships, not so easy.

Having irrevocably split with my boyfriend, I can’t lie, a piece of me feels missing. Relationships, remember, are a routine. There are things you will do every day that, even though annoying, provide structure.

Truth is, whenever people have referred to their significant other as ‘their other half’, I always balked at the phrase. Makes me cringe.

There are so many thoughts in your head, beliefs, principles, rules, it’s very hard to distinguish truth from falsehood.

I know in time, I’ll come back to myself again and my feet will land on terra firma.

Until then, breathe, get lots of good rest and know that it will all be okay.

This time, too, will pass.

Is to be free.

Is to be joyful.

Is to be confident and self-assured.

I want to state my case without guilt.

Do your absolute level best not to cram too much into situations.

I think in the modern world we’ve lost the art of simplicity.

Some of my absolute favourite memories are of sitting around with family and friends, eating great but simple food I’ve cooked – roast chicken, crumble, soup and bread. Comforting, colourful, delicious.

Somethings in life work. Others don’t.

You can’t make things something they’re not and that goes for work, leisure, relationships, what you like and what you don’t.

Stop beating yourself up.

Love and let go.

The very worst has happened! Are you still alive? Yes, good.

Things always seem much more worse than they really are, we like a good catastrophising! If you’re still here, there’s something you can do.

Find your own space.

My head goes into a fucking whirl when things get even slightly too much for me. 

It feels like the world’s ending, doesn’t it?!

That you can’t find a way out of things.

Start paying attention to how you react.

Notice the patterns.

Notice what sets you off.

And nothing else.

For goodness sake, don’t try to sort out everything at once because that only adds fuel to the flames.

Breathe.

Don’t you find yourself short of breath sometimes?

Can’t find air.

Can’t focus.

Can’t relax.

Anxious, worried, desperate.

NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Find physical space for yourself – get out for a walk if nothing else.

Find headspace for yourself – close your eyes, count to ten, lock the bathroom door. 

There’s so much going on in the world that nothing makes sense sometimes. You feel it, I feel it, everyone at some point feels the same.

You can get to where you need and want to be, give yourself time.