Month: January 2024

OH, I see, you disagree with me.

You’ll find that people will result to insult when you disagree with them. It’s about as far as either their emotions or pea-sized brains can muster.

Pay no heed.

Keep soldiering on.

Are you one of those that believes you’re free from consequences?

Do you believe things will magically fall into your lap?

Be honest, are you a little (or majorly!) entitled?

I am holding my hands up and confessing that I have been and still continue to be all of these things. Life’s a work in progress, I’m making efforts to better myself. Are you?

I am definitely not a ‘rules’ person. A rule is a universal and if you haven’t been living under a rock for the last few years, you’ll realise that what people do are interpretations of what we know to be ‘guidelines’ or ‘principles’ or ‘laws’.

Smoke and mirrors, my friend, smoke and mirrors.

If many people are talking about a particular ‘rule’, the powers that be are using that as a means of control, to mould, shape and nudge behaviour in you.

It’s very, Very, VERY hard not to succumb to it.

Look at what’s happening to @LozzaFox #LaurenceFox in the #HighCourt. We are to believe the man’s a racist and obviously it’s total bullshit.

You have a choice every day of how far you push the envelope. Laurence has taken it far further than most but I applaud him standing up for the truth. THE Truth. His perspective is radically different from the mainstream narrative and from what many believe but he’s taking a truly principled stand, he’s immensely brave.

Are you?

It’s a law of nature, whether you chose to accept it or not, that every cause has an effect and what you put in is what you get out.

And this means for everything

Your Health

Your Wealth

Your Business

Your Principles

Your Relationships

Today, make a positive difference. Stand up for Laurence.

If you’re gleeful or cheerful that he’s being taken down, that says far more about you than about him and don’t believe you’re immune. The faith and trust you have in the institutions is misplaced and if you haven’t realised that yet you’re either wildly gullible or evil.

It all comes back to you.

Doubts?

Insecurities?

Anxiety?

Neh, none of those.

The truth is you don’t like yourself.

You don’t trust yourself.

AND! You want people to like you.

It’s the biggest trap in the world.

Start expecting better from your life and ‘do the thing’.

There’s no doubt about it – it’s tough sticking to your guns when you’re on a mission that’s really meaningful to you.

From the earliest of ages and from all directions, your creativity and curiosity are crushed by the system. Unbelievable as it is, many really don’t want you to think independently. They don’t want you to question the orthodoxy. They want you in the Matrix. It’s easier for them and more lucrative.

Sad but true.

So breaking free is the greatest but most frightening thing you can do.

I wander to a stately home called Chatsworth in my native Derbyshire (look it up) many times a week. It is exceptionally beautiful, grand and BIG! But yesterday, I looked at it and the figurative mist cleared from my eyes to realise that it, like any other building or mission, was built stone by stone and glass pane by glass pane.

So too will your vision be when you decide to stick to the path you are carving out for yourself.

Steadily and surely – we can do it!

Nope, I’m afraid I can’t.

Think about all the bills and charges you pay in your daily life. What do you notice these days?

Well, it’s all about making the lives easier for the people you’re paying. You have to fit in with their schedules. You have to make adjustments to your life.

It’s all the wrong way round.

And a lot of it is because of bad organisation.

Plenty too about entitlement.

I fully believe in personal responsibility and taking charge of what is your business but people making demands when they’re the ones being paid.

Neh, they can fuck off.

Okay, I know it’s silly but on occasion, I get into correcting grammar in the YouTube comments.

Yes, yes, silly, silly.

But I thought this warranted a mention.

A lady commented that I was ‘gatekeeping’ the English language from the rest of the non-native speakers.

It struck me as both an odd and obvious thing to say. 

Of course, when you have a literary and historical connection with one of the most beautiful languages in the world, naturally you want it to be used properly, I certainly do. Of course, it is futile to get into these beefs in the comments but here’s the real lesson.

When you encounter a lot of people, they will not have the standards that you have, they will find it equally odd to find someone sticking up for their country and their language. And if you think about it, what is a simpler word for gatekeeping, why, it’s boundaries of course.

People don’t like that either and interestingly in a later comment, she informed me that, unlike me, most people in England are more progressive. I ask, is progressivism for progressivism’s sake necessarily a great thing?

Something to think about.

It’s really dawning on me just how much I have panicked in my life! That I’ve always been preparing to put out fires because, frankly, I grew up in an incredibly fragile and unpredictable environment and I allowed it to carry on right through university, my working life, so-called friendships.

Always preparing for the worst.

Always worrying what other people will think.

Drop the shit! Drop it.

Being an adult means taking responsibility for yourself. What most miss is that it also means you don’t have to justify yourself to other people – the trap of people pleasing is a miserable, unsolvable and relentless one.

Pay attention to how you relate with people.

Pay attention to how you conduct yourself.

And, for goodness sake, do what you need to do.

There will always be lovers and haters.

Start to trust yourself.

Imagine the worst case scenario (that I know is going on in your MIND) and ask yourself how terrible it would be if it happened in REAL life. You’ll soon realise that a) it probably won’t even happen and b) it wouldn’t be anything as terrible as you imagine.

The imagination is both a blessing and a curse. Address the balance and make sure you’re using your mental faculties to live a peaceful, joyful and relaxed life.

It’s all in your head!

Strange as it might sound, the vast majority of people live life so cautiously that they go into any situation aspiring not to win but to not lose.

I’ve seen so many people give things a try laden with doubts and meekness that any opportunity is pretty much dead on arrival.

Playing to win takes bravery, no doubt but the rewards, those my friend will be GREAT!

Try as they might, people will give you advice about anything you can imagine. Some of the time it will be heartfelt, some of the time it will be because they just want you to do as they do.

The instinct to totalitarianism is in all of us. If only people just did what I do, then there would be no need for discussion or wasting time trying to reach compromise.

Last night, I put a note through a neighbour’s door telling her to leave me alone. There are some people who simply want to be involved in absolutely everything, regardless of whether you welcome it or not. Let people know your boundaries.

Know your own mind and create the life that works for you.

And, do you know what? We’re mostly making things up as we  go along.

Rules are a nice idea but most follow what they’re told to do – even if the instructions are contradictory.

Very few really think for themselves. It’s quite hard to think as it happens. It requires honesty and bravery and the admission that we haven’t behaved in powerful and positive ways.

Egos have become so huge that most simply can’t say “I don’t know.” They are three very simple words but people hate looking stupid.

Do not do this.

Admit that you don’t know everything and then, guess what……

EXPLORE!

It’s one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard.

In the early 2000s, I visited a university friend who was living Venice. It was at Carnivale time, the streets were full of colourful characters. Music played and the drinks were VERY expensive! Ha ha!

My friend had gone downstairs to make a phone call, arranging meeting at a party later and she was talking about who she was bringing (me and another university friend of ours).

I couldn’t make out most of what she said but, when talking about me, she simply said. “He’s stunning.”

I remember smiling, halfway down the stairs. It was sweet. 

Funny though, that as time has gone on, it is harder to believe the nice stuff. There is a great scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere tells Julia Roberts that she is a “very bright, very beautiful woman.” She says. “The bad stuff is easier to believe. Ever notice that?”

Do you cancel out the great stuff for just one little jab, for just one little negative remark or sleight?

Start believing you’re worth more and then live it! 

How difficult is it to relax!!!

Seriously.

What I’ve realised recently is just how hard I find it to sit down, relax and feel good about myself. Very, very difficult.

We believe that busy is good.

We believe that relaxing is lazy.

Remember, music is the space between notes. Just observe what happens when you listen to slow music and fast music.

You believe certain things are inevitable. That success must be a fight, for example or that to be an artist, you have to be poor. Is it inevitable? Are the panic and stress necessary evils? 

OR!

Are you programming yourself and creating a particular future?

You tell yourself that you must always be doing something. That you have to fill your day with activity after activity.

I fully believe in being productive but you have to make the room for acknowledging what you’ve done, to reflect, to analyse to a certain extent, to be grateful – all this to say you have to enjoy life as well as build it.

You want to control everything, all the time. It ain’t possible yet you fill the space with panic. You focus on the things you believe you’ve got wrong. You’re hard on yourself. You beat yourself up and for what? For what you think others are thinking about you? That there is only one route to the top of the mountain.

There is no right or wrong way. There is only your way.

Regret nothing, learn from everything.

Many like to sound clever.

They appeal to so-called experts.

They say ‘look at this data’ – or if they want to sound smart they say ‘these data’.

Let’s face it, we’re all just making it up as we go along and sometimes, you’ll find something you really chime with. Something that can be your cure-all, deal-with-any-objection go to subject.

For some it’s sport.

Others it’s religion.

Perhaps it’s fashion.

Or Politics.

Or Power.

Oppression maybe.

Sexuality.

Skin Colour.

We all latch onto something.

In my mind, the truth is what counts. You recognise it, as do I. It’s undeniable and you feel it but you run away from it.

Why?

You don’t like to stand out from the crowd, take a stance and live with the consequences. To me, that’s far better than a life lived by lies.

So, how do you know? Whatever it is – it makes you feel genuinely joyful. Go with that!

Yep, here we go!

“You’re selfish.”

“You’ve changed.”

“You don’t listen to me.”

Knowing what I know of people, whenever someone calls you selfish – it means they are. Psychologist types call it projection, don’t you know.

It means you aren’t agreeing with them 100% of the time.

It means you aren’t doing the things they want to do 100% of the time.

On the positive side – it means you are doing things your way.

Most people don’t like you doing things your way, it means they can’t control you like they used to (like you allowed them to.)

I have tried desperately hard to make things work even when it’s been destructive and I have taken on the responsibility of other people. 

STOP! Look! Listen!

Why are you not walking your own path? 

Who are you protecting?

What are you avoiding?

Where are you in your own life?

Why are you denying yourself the things you want?

Take a solid lesson learnt, from me. Stop taking responsibility and making excuses for other people. That’s their job. And it’s really fucking difficult to do when you can see ‘potential’ in them. That’s their job too, to realise it or not.

The Path of One means this – understand what you CAN and CAN’T change and what makes your life better and more wholesome.

If you’re avoiding/procrastinating over the wonderful dreams you have, that does no one any good – most of all you. It means you feel you don’t deserve things and it means you will drift through your entire life and waste it.

I will repeat – the greatest lesson I learnt from my mentor – the greatest concentration of genius is in graveyards – DEAD! I learnt many lessons of morbidity and despair from my ex and in parting as he left my life for the last time – I reminded him that everything he focused on was gone but that I was LIVING.

If you’re reading this, you have the chance of your life….. 

To make your life better.

To focus on joy and living.

To realise your true power and true worth.

If someone calls you selfish for that? Well! Those are the people to relegate solely to your past, to wish well and move on for good.

You will have more energy.

Somedays you won’t feel like doing the work.

Here’s a tip, don’t just think what you’ll gain by doing the hardest/necessary work but what you’ll lose.

Do you really want to be in this same position in a year or two or five or ten? Do you want to drift for the rest of your life?

Remind yourself of who you want to be.

The person that gets the work done?

Or the loser?

Your choice.

Here we go, I’m going to be a bit of a girl and complain about my ex.

One of the things that used to drive me crazy about him was when I would do the tiniest of things like washing up or clearing something off the floor, he would often say.

“What’s wrong with your fingers?” when I would prefer to use a tissue for example. Tiny things, little things, so fucking irritating.

This is a large part of the work I’m doing to clear my head of his pernickety voice.

The wider point of this is to remember that, you know what I’m going to say, this is YOUR life. If you can’t be yourself without being relentlessly picked on, the relationship is likely dead on arrival.

Having the distance of time, I realise that he was trapped in a cycle of control. If it wasn’t his way, it was the wrong way. Ugly!

Be yourself and learn to say fuck off more.

Today I’m having a bit of an adventure. I’m viewing a house on the pretext of checking it out on behalf of other people to assess its suitability.

Not a lie but, yes, a bit cheeky. I insisted that I just meet with the agent and not the owners because I don’t want to get their hopes up too much.

Remember to nourish that child within, who got away with things, who embraced adventure – all with a smile on your face!

Have fun!

Ever find how people are so rigid.

They live by rules, they really believe them. They don’t see how heavily they are imposed by such a tiny faction and yet will base their lives so totally on people who a) don’t give a flying fuck about them and b) will never witness them obeying the rules.

I used to laugh at people stringently wearing masks and dictating to others they should do the same. “Do you think Boris Johnson can actually see you. Is he ticking you off the list as a good boy or girl?!”

You have to decide how you live your life.

In all things, never go out to intentionally hurt people but understand that when you stand up for what’s RIGHT – you will get a lot of resistance and scorn. It’s just part of being an adult.

When you live life flexibly and realise that nothing is set in stone you can have some incredible adventures. When you’re open, you become resilient. Why? Because when you are truly open, not only do you try things others wouldn’t but you leave the space for the solutions to come to you too.

As bleak as it sounds…

There is no ‘law’. It is fabricated and manipulated never objective.

There is no ‘society’. Only individuals and families. – Thatcher! Brilliant.

There is no one size fits all. Be free – that’s what the Western World formerly got right.

You’ll hear about life hacks to make your room conducive to work in and they go some way – leave your phone in another room, isolated from noise etc.

What you don’t hear is how critical it is that your space is filled with things that are YOUR taste and NOT someone else’s.

Case in point – I’ve just photographed all of the furniture that is associated with my ex (except the bed! Will deal with that later) that I will sell and clear from my life.

Never let people live rent free in your life nor in your home.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…

It is YOUR life.

(Goodness, lots of ALL CAPS in this post!)

Have you ever been a perfectionist? I certainly have.

I believe in all of us there is the call to adventure, to penetrate the unexplored, to lay new ground.

I am reminded of a question a mentor once posed me, “Where is the greatest concentration of genius?”

ANSWER?: Graveyards.

The vast populace who never went for it. The majority who lived lives of tragic waste.

If there is something you’re nervous about, it’s a great opportunity to get more resilient and to show yourself that, after the fact, things are not quite as difficult or as scary as you thought.

What will you overcome today?

…It’s quite another to actually do the work.

Crippling resistance can prevent you from making progress. Don’t let it.

Just assume that, in the beginning, things are going to feel messy, weird, uncomfortable and, often, frightening. You simply have to work your way through it.

Freedom comes at a cost – a huge degree of uncertainty. Looking at the mountain and wondering how you’re going to climb it means you won’t know every nook and cranny, every crevice, the easy sections and the hard slogs.

You just have to take that first step, then the next and then the next.

When you watch any master of his craft, he makes it look easy, that’s because it is easy for him – NOW! Of course, you understand that the overnight success takes many, many years to achieve.

I saw a great Andrew Tate tweet the other day – “You said tomorrow yesterday.”

Make today, the day. It’s all you have.

We Brits love a good institution.

Most deify the NHS as the shining example of Social Healthcare and dismiss the ground principles that Christianity has so obviously given us.

We love our Monarchy and glorify particularly the Late Queen Elizabeth II despite the fact she happily entertained Middle Eastern warlords and Asian Communist Dictators.

The strength and dignity of Brits (well actually the English really) comes from realising we, until recently, value the individual, the personal struggles and overcoming evil and complacency.

The key to living your very best life is realising how little you have control over and learning to focus in on and hone your skills, your productivity and your ability to drown out the ubiquitous noise of the modern world.

It’s why I left London and returned to my native Derbyshire.

London is not real. It’s an idea. Artificial, chaotic, the seat of power, it is not the seat of principle nor peace.

We have an innate nature of space, prosperity and of being IN nature. 

Cities are illness and stress.

The Country (meaning both nature and home) are wellness.

Every single day this month, and going on, I have been doing my blog post, I have been posting on social media and doing my YouTube video. Just like I said I would.

Guess what’s happened?

Voices in my head (which aren’t real!) telling me I’m not doing enough. I’m not doing this well.

It’s going to happen, carry on regardless.

Don’t go round.

Don’t go over or under.

Go Through!

Each one of us is on this planet for a special reason. Of course, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.

I’ve wasted time trying to figure out other peoples’ motives and totally ignored my own.

Do not do this.

What do you love doing?

What have you always enjoyed doing?

What makes your heart sing and bring you alive?

Yep, my friend, that’s the stuff to do.

Very rarely is the problem knowing WHAT to do. Most commonly, the problem is lacking the bravery to do stuff.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

I was on Twitter this morning, scrolling through the feed, and something that comes up a lot of men’s circles is the idea therapy is for losers.

Okie doke, it’s a perspective. Go to the gym INSTEAD, make money INSTEAD.

Here’s what I think. Why not both?

Everyone else has a coach, right? Actors, Dancers, Gym Goers, Aspiring businessmen, Writers. Everyone who’s successful has a coach, so if there are things you really need to sort out, why not ask for the advice and support of someone objective, someone impartial, someone who’s experienced what you’ve gone through and can offer good advice?

Live abundantly.

I’ve been watching a fantastic podcast with my favourite creator James Delingpole with a couple of political dissidents.

The title of this post is a quote from one of them.

You believe that voting is you enacting political freedom, of expressing your point of view – it’s a falsehood, a total illusion.

I’ve never been one for sticking it to the man, for slotting myself into someone else’s frame work and the illusion of democracy is the most poignant and dangerous example of believing that because you have a ‘right’ to do something, it is the right thing to do.

You have the right to vote (apparently!) but that doesn’t mean it’s the right to HAVE TO vote.

Guess what, you can say NO!

You never know exactly how the day is going to turn out, nor the week, the month, the year, the decade.

This morning, I found myself looking up my ex’s profile on a hookup app and it was a strange sensation – marked in fact by the absence of any strong feeling. 

The benefit of time and distance is you can see things more clearly. Profiles lie because people lie in them. They put out an image of how they want to be seen rather than the truth.

Interestingly, the tagline in the profile (before he hit the block button) was “you don’t have to be perfect, just perfect for me.” – translation, agree with everything I say and do whatever I want you to do. A deceptive manipulation of the truth, attempting to sound comical and a tag in the profile of ‘kind’. 

Be kind.

Here’s the lesson – be kind to yourself. Don’t torture yourself.

Understand that you were born to experience good things, be treated well, be on the same wavelength with the people you surround yourself with.

A running theme in my posts recently is of honest, of telling the truth – you might find it difficult to find people you can actually do that with but make it your aim to have good people in your life that you can be open with.

Embrace the mess of it all.

Last night I found myself crying at a Sex And The City episode, again. It’s where Carrie tells Aidan that she’s cheated on him. It always gets me.

It’s only a few months since I split with my boyfriend. I am not a ‘should have’ kind of man but I am able to take responsibility for the fact that I could have ended things with him far sooner because all the red flags were there right from the start.

Life is not neat and tidy, it is messy. Accept it.

When starting anything new, acknowledge and accept that it will not be perfect, you’ll have to rummage around in the dark a bit, find out where the ground lays and go with it!

People are trying to distract you all the time, yes, all the time.

The other day, there was a power cut in part of my building (lots of different circuitry) and my next door neighbour, unaffected, came to my door in a panic. She talked and talked and talked without coming up for breath and eventually I had to keep slowly closing the door until I could escape.

This flat is a refuge, after the interaction, my heart raced and raced. It felt violating quite honestly. Peace is increasingly important to me these days, only way to get things done properly when you have your own space and your own boundaries.

News (look at the word – a collection of ‘new’ stuff) – unexamined, biased, meant to manipulate.

I watch no mainstream news, read no newspapers, watch no current TV. Admittedly, we’ll see stuff on Twitter and places – I have no TV licence.

Watch what you consume, I recently posted the 5 focuses for 2024 and one of them was to be a producer not a consumer. Start to curate your life, streamline and follow only productive/uplifting content.

What are you really going to do about the war in Ukraine? Really! Do you want to be part of this geo-political bullshit and end up having done nothing for yourself? 

No, you don’t do you. And understand, I get that it’s hard to disconnect from that and focus on what it is you want to do.

That is the lesson for this year – make your behaviour new and nothing else.

Honesty’s the best policy, right? That’s what we were brought up on, wasn’t it? Or am I mistaken?

Make no mistake, 99% of people HATE honesty. What they mean is agree with me or else!

In order to be an adult, keep this Socrates quote in your mind.

“The beginning of wisdom is the naming of terms.”

Most people hate labels, they deplore boundaries and they would sooner do anything than tell the truth. This is the first thing to acknowledge.

The second acknowledgement to make is to realise you are going to make enemies when you give your perspective of the truth. Note – not ‘your’ truth or ‘their’ truth – THE truth.

Amazingly, people disagree on facts, usually because they want to manipulate the truth in their favour or, worse, manipulate you. Don’t let them.

Third time you must acknowledge – that you are your own person, you do things your way and, as much as possible, go into the world aiming to make friends and let everything else go.

Acknowledge your right for freedom!

Yep, everything’s a choice, and everything is an action.

What you choose to spend your time doing will ultimately affect the entire course of your life.

Now!

I, like others, am not guilt tripping you into spending days where you’ve had five hours sleep and you must go for a morning run at three in the morning and then work non-stop on a project and eating one meal a day.

But, this year, focus on your patterns, both constructive and destructive, and start to analyse where you can improve and go do that thing.