Month: May 2024

If what people say is anything to go by, most live life assuming it’s someone else’s fault.

For the last few weeks, I have been really exploring the idea that no matter how much people complain about the various events, responsibilities and relationships they have, there is always one or many ways that they are benefitting. 

Otherwise, why would they put themselves in such situations? You probably sense, and you’d be correct, that I have observed and experienced this A LOT in people and, for a very long time, tolerated it.

We are all subject to our conditioning. Strengthening yourself is not a neat, linear process. Far from it, it is a messy process. My gift (and honestly I don’t know where it comes from) is observation and, ultimately, calling bullshit on dysfunctional behaviour.

It’s why I currently have no friends. In the past, I have been heavily criticised for being honest – not because honesty is wrong but because people don’t want to hear the truth. Hardly anybody does. I just know that my life has immeasurably improved from the stuff I initially didn’t want to admit to myself.

Years ago, there was a meme that many-a-time did the rounds on Facebook saying “The Truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.” – true but, frankly, from what I’ve seen, I’d state it a lot more vociferously!

The Truth will set you free but first it will annihilate your ego so brutally you won’t know where you are!

The Truth hurts at first because you finally realise it’s always been your responsibility, your choice and your decision to behave the way you have. It’s too much for most to bear. So they remain stuck.

“I really like this friend BUT……” Nope, not allowed.

“I like spending time with him BUT HE….” Nope, not allowed.

“She’s really fun BUT SHE….” Nope, not allowed.

Try to change other people and find out how much fun that is! You cannot endlessly pull at threads and expect the garment to stay intact.

Tomorrow, we go into my birth month and my rationale is clear.

Accept people as they are, WITHOUT COMPLAINT or don’t spend time with them. I only want solutions and nice things.

Please call me brutal, harsh, naive, selfish, childish, unreasonable – I’ve heard these all before and many more – all from the mouths of people who spend vast swathes of time criticising so-called friends. 

Far easier it is to think that others should change or mentally beat them up than face the reality that you always have a choice to sort yourself out. Escape the victim mentality.

Easy? No.

Worth it (as the adult thing to do)? Most Definitely!

Making real strides in life is messy, there’s no getting away from it.

We all have our baggage.

We all have the things we don’t want to admit – to ourselves and others!

Are you wishing you life away thinking your circumstances should be different?

One powerful feeling I’ve felt is that I’m always starting over, that I can easily abandon things and never get anything done.

The results speak otherwise.

Does your path always follow the trajectory you thought it would? No, it doesn’t but do you learn something new at each stage of your mission? Yes, you do, at least you can start to focus on the great lessons.

You are still here! It might seem that things are getting more and more difficult but that means you can be more and more resilient. 

Chatting with my reunited friend last night, we both agreed that despite all the ‘traumas’ – neither of us cares like we used to, we can laugh at whatever circumstances AND we also know that ‘this too shall pass.’

Start drawing more attention to what you’re getting right, understand that whatever situation you’re in you’re benefitting from it in one way or maybe even many.

I will say it again – progress over perfection!

We are constantly reminded of the sweet, sound passage of time but what is the point of wasting that time, racing around, getting nothing meaningful done and not allowing yourself to smell the roses?

I realise I’ve spent much of my time feeling anxious, stopping and starting, bumping along rather than bouncing freely through life. It’s been incredibly hard work!

No, you’ll hear that you constantly have to be swimming against the current and against your ‘enemy’/competition. 

1. It’s a lack mentality.

2. It’s a manipulation tactic. 

No, really! People want you ‘rushing to the back of the room’, they just want you to ‘buy’ whatever they’re selling but you have your own path.

If there’s anything you need to be constantly doing it’s reminding yourself it’s your life and you get to decide. 

Freedom comes when you’re not aimlessly treading water and you realise that you’re being rocked by the stream. Stop pushing so hard, you will never stop the flow of the river, let it carry you.

I will say it again, you can only control what happens in your life, no one else’s and you will never get anywhere if you’re singing someone else’s song. Find inspiration wherever you go

BUT………

Live YOUR life and leave the so-called competition to themselves. There is plenty, drink from your own cup.

You know, life’s meant to be exciting, fun. I spoke recently about not knowing what’s around the corner, so many get nervous. To be honest, I have as well. I have found it hard to distinguish between nervousness and excitement some times but the truth is, you can go into any situation feeling you’re going to win.

This is why it’s lovely to expect surprises, to be open to the world. It’s fabulous to be back in contact with my university friend because we have a history, a rollercoaster of emotions and I love it. I also love that, because we’ve both been through more stuff and become more solid, we can enjoy a whole new friendship and have the familiarity too! Win-Win.

It’s all wins, all the way down, whether they’re big or small. Start celebrating them. Start acknowledging them. Remember, they’re all down to you – the stuff you’ve done and the results that have come in.

Every stage of your life is valid and you will want and need different things at each stage! 

Everything that’s happened needed to.

Everything that’s coming will need to happen as well.

The process is far less about what happens and so much more about the person that you become to respond to it.

In a world of flux, the only constant is change. 

We none of us know all the answers and the most important thing is you understand that everything happens FOR you not TO you and it all happens through and by you.

You’re in charge.

Keep transforming my beautiful flower!

Had a bit of a meltdown yesterday, hurrying through, not able to make sense of things.

Your old conditioning rears its head every now and then and you can wonder where you are and what you’re doing.

It almost happened that I didn’t record my YouTube video but record it I did.

Every day, keep moving forward, it can feel like a slog sometimes but funnily, when I woke up this morning, a very old friend, who I haven’t spoken to for years and years had e-mailed me. I took it as a sign.

She messaged to say she had found my blog and that it had resonated with her, that she liked it.

Keep going my friend.

My goodness!

You get insight into human nature when you get onto Social Media.

Yes, I am all for making an impact and using POWERFUL language but the language of misery, not for me.

We are all products of our age, no doubt. We cannot help but be influenced by the styles and trends of our time but I hear so many people literally using phrases like 

“Go to War with yourself!”

“It’s meant to be painful.”

“Suffering is the truth.”

Wowzers, lighten up is what I say.

Self-improvement is not a fight, a challenge yes, but it’s meant to be uplifting not destructive.

You know, I still catch myself doing this!

Permission, permission, permission. Always asking and never giving it to myself.

I think a lot of people live on the back foot, always waiting, making sure they’re not getting in the way, not wanting to bother people, not (in a more old-fashioned sounding way) want to put oneself forward.

Yeah, bullshit.

“Let me….”

“Would you mind….?”

“Is that all right if……..?”

Just like I am shifting from referring to myself as “you” and embracing “I”, I am also actively training myself to speak more confidently.

SO!…..

“Would it be all right if I explained what I do?” becomes “I would love to share with you what I’m working on.” See what I mean?

The mere idea of this shift actually makes me feel very uncomfortable. 

Will they think I’m rude?

Does it make me sound arrogant or an arsehole?

Posture.

And poise too. My focus is a process of becoming, growing into my big man shoes so to speak, actually, growing my big man cock and balls.

Life is not meant to be lively quietly and timidly.

No, life is meant to be lived out loud, outdoors, in the real world.

Practice your perfect self. It’s already there, give yourself permission to be free.

I see it all the time.

“Why aren’t they doing it?”

“Why don’t they want to change their lives?”

“What’s WRONG with them?”

And the judgement. Phrases like,

“Spoiled brat” (heard that said this morning!)

“Losers.”

To be honest, I have done it myself calling people “NPCs”.

My mission is simple.

Yes, I use hard hitting language and what sound like commands every now and then but I am here to speak to you, the man who’s decided to take action. I have no interest in or desire to change those that aren’t willing to do it.

PLUS! There are many reasons why people don’t throw themselves in, perfectly valid reasons.

Fear

Lack of Self-Belief

Not willing to sacrifice their current conditioning.

If you’re building a business, stop wasting your time trying to convince vegetarians to be lions. You will not do it and it isn’t your place to dictate what others should do.

I market myself with personality, humour and a genuine desire to connect with men who want to take a step out and really go for it. It’s incredibly simple. 

I have spent years, literally years, trying to divine and decipher other peoples’ behaviour, totally fucking pointless.

You don’t need to convince people, nor try to change them, even contemplate understanding them. You don’t know them and they don’t know you.

Speak authentically with the true desire to be of service, network, get into the comments sections of wherever you are on Social Media, send messages, receive messages and get conversations going.

The right people are out there and waiting, focus solely on what you do and what you can do to help them help themselves.

We have to go through some serious crap as kids! Fuck me!

School Days are the best days? Bollocks!

Let’s face it, school life was hideous for many of us. Rigid, enforced, out-of-date. And the stuff we’re ‘taught’ – how much of it have we actually used and what was genuinely useful? Yep, very, very little! We understood this even at the time.

The reason for being entrepreneur, that’s common amongst all of us, is to build a lifestyle, a schedule and routines that belong to us as individuals, tailor-made loveliness!

I am sure that, like me, you heard such phrases as

“Why don’t you just do it?”

“Why don’t you behave?”

I even remember one teacher, when I got a good mark on an exercise telling me “don’t be so self-satisfied.” Funnily enough, she left soon after that.

Ask yourself what you want (you’re allowed, you know.), set your own rhythm (and march to your own drum), getting the work done (and feel great about it)!

If you believe you’re immune to manipulation (I have laughter in my head!) or persuasion or doing what other people want, you are deluded!

Doesn’t make you a bad person!

The struggles you feel, should you will to overcome them, are the divide between what you’ve been taught that doesn’t work for you and the person you wish to become.

Very simple.

Thoughts, feelings, what you believe are other peoples’ expectations, have a habit of pulling you back into past states.

You cannot recreate what has passed.

I’m about creation – innovating and making new things that align with my values and the constructive states we are all born to experience…..

Joy

Peace

Excitement

Satisfaction

Appreciation of Beauty

Connection – with yourself first and others later

Feel free to add to the list yourself – this is not exhaustive!

We are all glorious chaos coming into magnificent vibrancy! The pieces of the jigsaw come together for you when you decide to put yourself out there, when you are willing. 

To will just means to do something, it’s nothing grand, just language we don’t use anymore. If you’re willing something into being, you’re doing something.

It doesn’t matter if you’re messed up or afraid or nervous, you can decide to do it anyway.

Be Strong Today and Exercise Your Will!

You know what I’m talking about here.

Dating apps

Hookup apps

Job Descriptions

Social Media Profiles

Whatever you’re exploring, there are so many vague, boring, pointless profiles that don’t really say anything, they’re not specific nor exciting.

When you’re marketing yourself (and believe me, you always are!), you have to give something, a hook, to make people interested. If you want pizazz from them, you have to give some yourself – only fair!

Going through thousands of posts this week and last, making comments, you would not believe the amount of copied and pasted tweets, with no personality. How do they expect to stand out? Well, the truth is they don’t.

That’s where you come in.

Bring some personality. Yesterday, whilst out on my walk, I found a hat (a bright pink hat) that someone had obviously dropped, so I decided to balance it on my head (it was quite small) at a jaunty angle and simply posted the picture with the caption “does this suit me?” – it got some likes and some laughs. FUN! You see, it’s giving something. 

And it’s showing willingness to put myself out there.

Here’s the one rule of the universe! It starts with you, you have to take the responsibility, or else, you drift and never find your spark!

Getting involved in Twitter, you really see human nature.

I’ll be honest, I’m absolutely astounded.

Maybe they’re copying from a cheat sheet or a manual they’ve got from someone or maybe it’s genuine. The amount of questions like,

“If you could go back 10 years, what would you do differently?”

“If you’re still doing XYZ, you’re not in pain enough.”

“What’s one mistake you wish you could change?”

There’s being honest about your shortcomings but then there’s plain beating yourself up.

If the process is too painful, you will stop. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Whatever you do, you only know what you know at the time you do it and, let’s face it, we are all hideously conditioned from birth. Yes, some more than others, but no one is immune.

What is conditioning you ask? Great question.

Conditioning is what you take to be true (even though it’s usually wildly false!) from what you perceive as an authority figure – a parent, any family member actually, teachers at school, employers, doctors, accountants, you get the idea.

Conditioning is an interesting social adaptation because we all want to be liked and we want to be seen as involved and fitting in so asking questions, basically, about how much pain you’re in, helps you be part of the pack because it’s clear to me that the majority don’t feel great about themselves, they feel really, really shitty!

Overcoming beliefs that aren’t yours that you’ve acquired is an extensive process and unlearning what isn’t true can feel like you’re casting yourself completely adrift for no good reason.

But there is a good reason.

You get to start being yourself, understanding that you behaved in the past for very valid reasons, you only knew what you knew then and, ultimately, when you embarked on your voyage of self-discovery, everything that happened NEEDED to, to bring you to where you are now, helping you feel better about yourself, be more peaceful and able to trust yourself more.

It’s all a shift from things happening TO you, to things happening FOR you.

Don’t hate yourself.

Value yourself.

So often, we go into things with enormous resistance, it’s down to your conditioning you see.

It’s clear that there are many who have received little to no encouragement to do what is authentic. 

I believe (though I have no evidence), that we each have our unique skills and gifts and means of expression and it’s down to us to establish them and then invest in them.

This is how you will overcome your initial fears and doubts and plough through. We are sewing seeds of consistency here. Things are only meaningful if we invest in them for the long term.

Even so, when you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, it can feel very difficult to keep going, that’s why having a powerful mission and an end result that you can work towards can really help.

Progress is made when you’re, first, honest with yourself, second, that you trust yourself and, third, you know that no matter what you do, you can learn from it.

You have adventure at your fingertips.

Build a business.

Get into a new relationship.

Visit a place you’ve never been to before.

Have a wonderful walk in nature.

Savour a delicious meal.

Whatever it is, it’s your choice to have a fantastic time.

Life is not so much about what you do, it’s the joy and gratitude you bring to it.

I see many vengeful people, not realising the vengeance they feel for others will only ever come back to themselves. They are what they accuse others of. No matter how much justice you wish to implement, you cannot hurt others without hurting yourself. It’s the way it goes.

Whatever your focus you will get more of. It’s why I choose connection, understanding and a need to live my best life possible.

Revolutions never work.

Violence never works.

Wars never work.

We know this.

Enough!

Treat life solely as the opportunity to do as much good as you can.

I know, I know – the weight of it all!

So massive, so impenetrable!

All the work that we need to do!

You’ve got to calm down.

Years and years ago, I watched a lot of Tim Ferriss (Four Hour Workweek fame and now famous for his podcast that has all the usual suspects on it). One phrase I heard him say somewhere (sorry, can’t remember which video it was)…….

“Slow down to speed up.”

You’re not actually racing against anybody (though I’ll be honest, I often feel quite competitive). 

Everyone’s different. 

Everyone has a slightly different strategy.

The key is figuring out how you can turn up everyday saying…..

“I GET to do this.” rather than “I HAVE to do this.”

My latest strategy (and it’s working) is to constantly acknowledge what an enormous privilege it is to build a business from the ground. I mean really! In our culture, we venture the businessman because he is responsible for producing huge amounts of wealth and freedom. I’m a Capitalist through and through.

And in my replies to tweets, I constantly say this…….

MAKE IT AS FUN AS YOU CAN.

It’s why I can’t stand the “video games are for losers” crowd and the “don’t watch Netflix” mob. 

If you want to listen to music whilst you work, do it.

If lighting candles and burning incense works for you, do it.

Low light, bright light, do it.

Remember it’s your business and you’re the boss.

The ‘lists’ people telling you what to do and what not to do are simply looking for approval – they just want people to agree with them and 99% of the time, they’re parroting what they’ve heard from someone else.

Like what you like because you’re in this game for a long time.

There is any number of ways to waste your time.

Plan and not execute.

Say “I know that.” and not execute.

Avoid, procrastinate waiting for perfection and not execute.

You see a pattern emerging?

Here’s a massive time waster – taking responsibility for other people.

My new motto is ‘like what you like’.

I’ve just been watching Lara Croft Tomb Raider (the 2001 version with Angelina Jolie). It’s fucking brilliant! It really is. 

“Yeah, bruuuuh, but a woman could never take on all those marines and invaders.” It’s a fantasy. And let’s face it, a wet dream for a lot of geeky gamers who will never have sex. So what if it’s trying to persuade you of a particular cultural view or political message. If you’re intelligent enough, you’ll figure that out and if you’re not intelligent enough you’ll buy into it like everything else you’re moulded into being.

Stop being so fucking serious, seriously! Oh My God.

1. Allow yourself to enjoy things.

2. Ask yourself yourself what you like.

3. Define who YOU are as a person and leave others to do (or not do that) for themselves.

4. You’re going to have different moods and sometimes do things differently in the space of seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, whatever. FLEXIBILITY is way more important than pigeonholing yourself.

5. Start prioritising the things you love and stop making excuses to avoid actually doing them.

Along side my new motto, I have a new favourite principle/term – reverse engineering.

I have a drinking problem, there we go, I said it. I drink way too much wine and it is destructive and it prevents me from going on sightseeing outings which lift me up, thrill me and sustain my joyfulness. The drinking is not the actual problem but the symptom – the disease? Numbing myself down so I don’t ‘get in the way too much’.

There are always more powerful and uplifting choices you can make. Deny no feeling you have. If you’re angry, don’t be angry at yourself for feeling that. Accept it. Embrace it. Emotions are your friends (and signposts) encouraging you to make better decisions for yourself, if only you would choose them.

Tempus fugit (time flies) and the clock continues ticking, save yourself from trying to control others, make choices that make you more empowered, more accomplished and ACKNOWLEDGE the great gifts you have AND the good things you’ve already done.

House yourself in your own body, your own house, your own temple and celebrate life!

It’s inevitable folks, when you put yourself out in the world, many, many people are not going to agree with you. They will appear insulted, they may attack you, they make block you.

Toughen up.

Not only have we largely lost our resilience, we’ve gone way down in the debate stakes and the ability to disagree civilly.

I never go out to hurt anyone deliberately. I am not malicious but when I recognise destructive behaviours in people, I now, more than ever, will call it out.

Maybe my perspective doesn’t match other peoples’ but when you’re talking about words on the internet, it’s definitely time to grow some balls.

I shouldn’t be surprised really.

The world and his wife wants something out of you but I’ve got something slightly different than that for you.

Engaging as much as I am on Twitter, you see the distilled words of people, trying to make sense of the world but falling into the classic trap…..

Trying to get other people to behave like they want!

Can’t be done.

Won’t be done.

Would you want it to work anyway?

No, we are all mini tyrants if we put our minds to it and it gets you nowhere.

You, yourself – get yourself sorted. That’s where it begins and ends.

As I interact with such people, I’ve been having emotional flashbacks to my ex, they’ve been quite strong in the last few days. 

Why?

Because I realise just how much I subjugated myself to him and, yep you guessed it, it made no difference to the strength of our relationship or the intimacy of our connection.

YOU have to be the one to take responsibility. It’s the only path to joy and freedom.

Honestly, take it from me.

Here endeth the lesson.

Naturally, when I’m on Twitter, I offer advice about behaviours to stop and behaviours to start. 

Stop doubting yourself.

Start believing in yourself. Trust yourself.

That kinda deal.

But there’s a monotony in a lot of what people write. You don’t need a therapist, you need to go to the gym kinda stuff, as if they speak for everybody.

The other day I commented that you can get great benefits from walking, dancing rather than the gym, particularly when it comes to women.

All the stuff that’s pushed is relatively recent and, to be honest, I see a lot of injury and people burning out after decades of going to the gym and most of the bodybuilders are on massive amounts of drugs. Not to say that the gym can’t be beneficial, for example, BUT there are other ways. Always remember that.

You have to decide for yourself and don’t be afraid to point this out when people mindlessly parrot the same old stuff because it’s the latest thing.

Be your own person, live your own life. You know what’s good for you.

I love me a good goal.

I love me a good dream.

I love me a good adventure.

The common denominator? Leaps of faith. 

If anyone tells you they know exactly what they’re doing and how they’re going to get to the Promised Land, they’re lying and more to the point they’re missing out on the excitement!

It’s my current theme – you don’t have to know all the answers.

Getting involved is the only way.

The worst scenarios you believe may happen, live in your head.

When faced with the reality of life, you are actually far more capable than you imagine.

In the last few days, I have been interacting on Twitter in a far bigger way and it’s so stimulating I see myself getting more and more enthusiastic about it!

Getting conversations going, receiving messages, there’s so much variety in it. 

You have the choice of what you do in life, I know sometimes it feels like you’re being backed into a corner or facing criticism but this is why I say you can handle it.

No need to make a big deal out of everything.

Do your work daily.

Look after yourself as best you can.

Keep on moving forward – you’ve got it in you.

If you’re branching out into anything significant, overcoming your doubts, conditioning and resistance is a big task.

A really helpful tip is to remember why you started out in the first place.

I certainly didn’t make the decision just because I hated my job or didn’t like the people I was working with.

I knew there was more I could do. I knew my life meant more and that I was capable of doing something really meaningful.

Did I like the jobs that I worked? So, so. Some more enjoyable than others but I was always relieved to get home, go out for dinner after, go to the theatre or cinema. That was when I was in London.

Now, I love being in the countryside, back where I grew up, enjoying the surroundings and building a business empire from scratch. 

It’s SO stimulating to get out there amongst people who are moving and shaking things up, creating content, asking real questions, sharing amazing wins! Fabulous!

That’s why you have to reprogram yourself to understand that you are bigger than your struggles and the obstacles. That’s what I’m doing on a daily basis and, no matter what anybody says, it’s so rewarding to see engagement on posts go up, to see the follower count go up, to see messages landing in the inbox!

The journey is a long and uncertain one but remember that igniting spark is who you really are and the life that you truly want to lead is waiting for you.

I used to think that integrity was the most important thing but now I’m thinking that flexibility is far more important. 

It’s not an easy thing to know your own mind. The mind by definition is chaos and what I once held dear, I now see as an illusion.

Couldn’t get to sleep for ages last night and I started running stuff over and over in my head, got myself hot and bothered and when I did fall asleep, I had the most fucked up dream about peoples’ heads being chopped off and having an argument with my sister.

Funnily enough, in one part of the dream, I was throwing stuff around wherever it was I lived and this morning, in real life, I found that about a third of my glassware had somehow fallen out of my cabinet and smashed into thousands of pieces. So that was my morning task, clearing it up.

I would have thought I’d be more bothered about the glasses (mucho expensive I’ll have you know) but it doesn’t matter. It’s just glass with a fancy bit of advertising attached to it.

I’m doing stuff on Twitter and YouTube, I’m building an empire from the ground up, there’s more time to earn money and have a great impact.

Don’t worry about changing your mind and embrace letting things go. Life’s about developing a strong character and what people think is irrelevant.

Be your own person. Live your own life. And don’t sweat the small stuff.

Full of doubts, are we?

Embarrassed?

Shy?

Yep, I’ve been there too.

Whilst out on walk one of two yesterday, I ran into someone my mum was friends with when we originally lived here. Perfectly pleasant but then came the inevitable question.

“What are you doing, Martin?”

“Oh, I’ve been trying to grow an online business.”

Not only should you trust yourself more – that the choices you make are the right ones for you, learn to value yourself more.

It’s a massive undertaking to actually get your life in order, to take charge of your destiny. 

Do not downplay.

Do not be ashamed.

Take pride in what you are doing.

So much going on in the world.

Relentlessly exposed to the chaos.

Everyone wanting a piece of you.

It’s no fucking wonder you can’t figure out who YOU are and what YOU want.

If you’re out there, pushing a message, the simple key is speaking to as many people as possible. 

Getting into comment sections

Producing new content daily

Sitting down and focusing on getting the work done.

Why won’t we do it? Fear of being judged but people judge anyway. The second simple key? Learn to be resilient. 

Underneath it all, we’re all scared but a handful of people get on with it regardless.

Be bold today and keep it simple! Do what you can and watch it grow.

Passive. It’s what I see a lot.

Jesus is the answer.

Science is the answer.

Communism is the answer.

Big Government is the answer.

Small Government is the answer.

Everyone has their answer.

Life’s more intricate than that.

I’ve already said that everyone wants their answer to be right, simpler that way – for them. They also don’t want to do anymore thinking. That’s harder.

In a world of so many people, let’s bring back sophistication.

You’re one person.

You have one day at a time.

There is a certain amount you can get done each day.

Believe me, I have darted around and panicked and tried to stuff everything into one day and it’s just not possible, especially if you’re dealing with all the shit that’s happened in your life.

We have firemen to put out fires, you don’t need to be stressing every day because, I guarantee, eventually it catches up with you and you’ll burn it. I have seen it so many times, to the point of people actually dying they’ve tried to cram so much in.

Priorities is the priority. What are the most important things you can do each day to bring you closer to the life you want to live?

Establish those and with the time you’ll free up (because you’ll be calmer and more joyful), fill that time with the things you love.

Simple.

And for God’s sake, learn to like what you like.

I’ve been saying this all along, everybody wants you to like what you like and they seem very surprised when you disagree with them.

There’s no doubt, the last couple of generations have become enormously entitled. Largely because we’ve lived in such abundant and relatively peaceful times.

It’s the tough times make hard men, hard men make easier times and easier times make weak men lark. I think it’s safe to say we’re in the latter of those three.

That’s why more courage is needed. 

Past generations feared mortar shells, current generations fear hurty words on the internet.

Here’s an idea to get started with. Like what you like, stop being swayed. Everybody thinks they have the answers to what’s ‘good’ and what’s ‘bad’.

Everyone needs their answer(s) to be right because it’s their stability and security at stake. Desperately trying to make sense of the world, they cling. Cling as hard as a limpet to the rock.

Immovable

Rigid

Shunning everything out of their worldview.

Honestly, is that how you want to live? I certainly don’t.

My life has gotten better the more I’ve decided things for myself. Rules are not designed to keep you safe, they are designed to keep you compliant and they’re written by psychopaths for the most part.

Just give things a go, be kind to people as much as you can (and reasonable) and the rest, well my friend, let it go.

I do love me some talk of finding solutions – because most people are starting and stopping at finding problems. If even one person snaps out of the malaise of doom mongering – that’s a win.

However!

The idea that you need 

More information

More answers

More strategies 

Is bogus.

Read between the lines when you next hear someone, or tell yourself, that you ‘don’t know what to do with your life’ – understand this.

The what is never the problem, it is the how and guess what that comes down to?

Confidence (meaning, in essence, ‘with faith’ from the latin). You cannot know how anything is exactly going to turn out. Just not possible. Take the leap, find support when you need it, for sure, but understand that you already have the tools you need to get started.

Messy, yes.

Nerve racking, yes.

Get the fuck on with it, most definitely.

Are you constantly fighting the way things are?

Are you a perfectionist?

Are you constantly wanting to change everything and everyone?

Stress and misery comes from not being able to accept things the way they are. Does this terrify you?

When I’ve observed how people react to ‘acceptance’, it’s like you’re telling them that everything is set in concrete, immovable, with no room for growth.

Exact opposite my friend.

Yesterday, I blogged and videoed about delusion. Everybody wanting everything to go the way they believe things should be.

It’s arrogant, it’s hubristic. There’s no humility in everything. Remembering though, the reason you believe what you believe and want everything to be ‘just so’ will be for very good reasons. You and I both want some sense of structure and security. Don’t we also want adventure too?

Oh yes!

Truth is, there is so much we can’t control, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Releasing ‘what is’ to the universe means you can focus on the things you love, that you CAN change and that you can have powerful and grounded confidence. 

Let’s develop a character of excellence. Let’s do it together.

Go boldly in the world and do it with style and grace.