Month: September 2024

I know, I know. You’ve heard this before but hear me out.

How good are you at controlling your own mood? Seriously. That’s right, you struggle with it every single day of your life. It’s fine.

How easy and productive do you believe it’ll be trying to manage someone else’s mood? On their behalf. Yes, that’s also right, impossible.

It’s not the focus.

I’m building a copywriting and coaching business on Twitter, my job is not to convince people to buy, it’s to attract the people who are already looking. It’s a subtle difference in mentality.

Helping people (help themselves) not changing them.

Most try the latter – and go fucking crazy because of it!

It’s all about boundaries. How do you like it when someone else tries to make you think and feel things you don’t believe in? Yep, right again – SO irritating. 

Do unto others as you would wish done unto you!

Here endeth the lesson.

There’s plenty of stuff we don’t know.

There’s a large cohort of Christians in my followers and I am sure they have many things to say about my being gay. By the way, I pray twice daily myself. I find it very 

I don’t understand being gay either. Genetically, it makes absolutely no sense for me to be a particular sexual orientation and not pass it on. It does seem like gay men delve into wildly creative and artistic pursuits and have been warriors and inventors too. They do lots of drugs and often seem to die quiet young.

Who knows? I just know that my boyfriend and I fit like hand and glove and we support each other, have great fun too.

I don’t begrudge people their opinions, I share many of them, the ones I disagree with, I simply accept that’s where they are. I think we’ve learnt that violence doesn’t really help anything, right? 

Some seem themselves as hammers, I prefer to think of myself as a screwdriver – an assisting tool to guide things into the right place. I half-joke that I am a lover not a fighter. I value peace these days far more highly than discord or stress.

No, I am not a perfect little angel but I am certainly doing my level best to move freely and easily where I am now than where I was in London.

It seems to me that everyone wants their version to be right. We’re all from different strokes and we have very different ways of doing things. Maybe there’s a place for everything but, again, I don’t know.

I’m perfectly willing to say we know nothing.

I’m perfectly willing to admit the story of history we’ve been told is bullshit.

I’m perfectly fine with people trying to manipulate me, I just don’t have to buy it.

I see a lot of injustice mongering and people wanting to get angry over everything but been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt for me.

The thing I find the most funny is how people still believe there are political means out of the mess when politics is designed to be messy, to divide and rule and to programme.

I see this all the time now, rewatching TV programmes from my childhood and catching, in full view, the subtle manipulations and gerrymandering of ‘people in the know’ wanting to portray various worldviews that no intelligent nor moral person would want but get cajoled into under the pretence of being a ‘good’ person.

This is the acceptable view.

That is wrong think.

Look out for it, learn to laugh at the pantomime, start building your ‘own thing’ as soon as you can.

Make money – don’t feel bad about it, it’s simply another resource (tool) to enhance your mission. If you understand that money is a means of exchange, you can have perfectly noble motivations for wanting to make it and need it.

Be reflective – you can feel in your body when things are right. Trust yourself, make decisions peacefully and firmly. Don’t dillydally. Get on with it.

Listen – people are infinitely willing to share stories about their lives with you. You’ll be amazed at what you can learn by being genuinely interested.

I can’t give you answers, that’s up to you. What I can tell you is my life immeasurably improved when I realised that more people wanted the best for me than I realised and when I started wanting better things for myself.

A year ago, I moved back to where I grew up and, despite it feeling a massive undertaking, I know I will buy back the house where I spent most of my childhood. I don’t know exactly how but I have my ideas and I know the work I have to do.

Believe in great things.

Believe in the goodness in people.

Believe in yourself. It all starts and ends with you.

It’s fascinating watching social media in action, it actually tells you a lot about what matters to people AND what they believe is true.

Everyone wants a hero, right? Take The Trump.

There are people out there in the world who believe the former Don-in-Chief is the political and cultural solution for their lives.

It is absolutely astounding!

The fact that people still rely on a political change to improve their lives is, after the last few years, quite hilarious but they haven’t yet seen that Trump’s only real win was some tax cuts for people who already knew how to evade them.

When new information is learned and new wisdom acquired, it needs to be woven into the quilt.

Most get stuck. Most only want to go so far and can’t give up the Hopium when it comes to certain topics.

If you want to get ahead, you need to roll with the punches.

Save the goal, change the strategy, people!

I’ve been a bit of a cunt in my time. Pushing my beliefs down people’s throats.

It’s not to say there aren’t things that are total bollocks but when in discussions about the nature of the world and all that’s within it (this is inspired by the way from a podcast I watched this morning) that we can’t be openminded and civil.

The trouble with zealotry is it leaves no room for being wrong or misconstruing reality.

Passion is one thing, pushiness quite another.

The aim of finding out the truth is so there can be more harmony. We labour painfully under tyranny and delusion.

Freedom is understanding the world as it is and doing the best you can do in it – and being as good as you can be.

We all want the simple explain-it-all-answer to everything but it seems to me there is no room in the discussion for “I don’t know.” 

All the time we are piecing the puzzle together but let’s have some kindness and understanding and room for disagreement along the way.

You know the answer to this question already.

What’s stopping you? Why, perfection of course.

We all want everything to be ‘just so’ but we also all know that there is

No perfect relationship

No perfect method

No perfect route

No perfect time

It’s now, obvious right?

In theory yes, in practice no.

Looking for guarantees will get you a-whole-lot-of nowhere.

Play

Experiment

Be courageous

The media wants you.

Social media gurus want you.

The government wants you, oh yes!

Every faddish diet and those that push them want you.

That’s one side of it. Here’s the other.

Your baser, primitive and destructive instincts want you. Resentment wants to occupy your system. That’s why you’re drawn to news and media, they feed the beast.

I’ve started going on morning walks without my phone. No technology. I found myself when I returned from my constitutional this morning looking for pedometers on Amazon. Sinful behaviour.

Here’s a maxim I do my very best to live by – wherever you are, be there. Don’t be trying to take photos or capture bits on video. Be there. 

Now, I must hold my hands up and admit that, yes, when I go on my second longer walk of the day, I do take my bag with phone and credit card and tripod to record my daily YouTube video but the sheer pleasure of being out, totally unencumbered by gismos and gadgets is something I highly recommend.

People want you distracted because they want to believe in ‘their thing’ so they look to other people to do it for them – they are not completely convinced in it themselves. Remember that.

Being focused on doing the right thing is a challenge, we’re taught to build other people’s dreams but when you zoom in on what you’re doing, you’ll get far more done and be far more useful than you can imagine.

Scared of Spiders?

I was.

Now?

Made myself not scared of them.

Why?

Easier to focus on what matters.

How?

Started to understand why they kept appearing – they’re marvellous for eating annoying flies. They’re my friends now.

Observing things really helps, rather than trying to rationalise them from your own myopic view.

It used to be the same for me with pigeons until I changed my mind and I just walked through them. My mother observed this….

“Oh, you’re not afraid of them anymore?”

“No.”

“How did you do that?”

“I decided not to be afraid of them, so I’m not anymore.”

I repeatedly remind you that everything is your choice. You can do things if you really want to but you have to really want it and do it. I have to remind you because it isn’t just one decision, it is many decisions, every single day and you have to train yourself. And it’s really worth it. 

Life can be much simpler than you’re currently making it. I definitely now believe that people want the drama. They find it exciting, you can see it on their faces – they love a good moan or a good stress.

I’ve shifted perspectives on many things recently, it’s great to undo the bullshit you’ve been operating under.

Easy? Maybe not.

Worth it? Oh, most definitely!

I’ve just spent a few blissful days with my man. He left today and will return in a week and a half.

I always learn magical and valuable lessons when we’re together.

What I realise is how much of a control freak I’ve been (largely learnt behaviour!).

Now, I am not saying it is easy to intercept the moments where you lose yourself. No, no. It is very difficult. You have to recognise your shortcomings, which, of course, most don’t want to do.

When I woke up this morning with my man beside me, here’s the conclusion that crystallised in my mind.

What is the result? This simple question can transform your life.

When I behave like this, good things happen and I feel great.

When I behave like that, bad things happen and I feel shit.

Radical simplicity. Yes, it sounds really superficial. Yes, it sounds childish but the modern disease is over-complication. Honestly.

At the heart of the question “what is the result?” is what really matters. How much of what you believe matters is trivial, insignificant, meaningless? Yep, the vast majority of this.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

What you want to win arguments or have fabulous relationships?

You get to decide BUT you have to lose your ego to have a great life! 

Think you always know best do you?

Well, have a fun time being alone, isolated and miserable for the rest of your life.

I’ve found a whole, newfound love for watching masterful men doing great things and learning from them.

Don’t let your world become so tragically myopic and think you have all the answers. We humans need each other for support and equanimity. We benefit from each other and it can be mutual.

I’m lucky enough to be with a very talented man and he with me, we find peace in lightening each other’s loads.

When I find myself in old patterns of behaviour of wanting things all my own way, do you know what I feel? I feel ashamed, angry and disconnected from the flow of life.

I love observing and ADMITTING that I don’t have everything as lined up as it could be. Let go of the anger and need to be right all the time and start to be a student of life and a student of other people’s greatness.

Nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Trust your natural instincts? No? Start.

There are very few things that are actually really difficult, we, as humans, simply get in the way of getting them done.

Which is the right way to do things, you ask? Go with your natural inclination. I love a good questioning but when it becomes procrastination for procrastination’s sake, I now cry bullshit.

The more you can simplify, the more progress you can make.

Start doubting yourself less.

Start trusting yourself more.

There’s a natural pace to Creation, I am convinced.

I’ve always said that stress in the enemy of success.

I hold this.

The key is finding YOUR way. Don’t be swayed by how other people do things believing them to be the only option.

Listen, essential.

Learn, essential.

But don’t be afraid to discard what doesn’t fit with you. Trusting your instincts is the greatest fast-track to where you want to be. Will you run into difficulties? Yeah, maybe but that’s when you’ll realise how capable and committed you really are.

Stop trying to force your way to your dream state.

Invest in the daily and the future will sort itself out.

Everyone has to pick a side.

So convinced are you that you’re right, it is to the exclusion of all else!

This is not the way of Martin, at least, anymore.

The simplest entry point to any situation is “I don’t know.”

You believe you can divine people’s motives.

You believe you have all the answers.

Truth simply flows forth from you.

Yep, time to lose that ego.

It’s holding you back

From real progress,

From peace,

From truth.

I said it.

Yes.

The world is so big and there are so many people in it.

Are you really putting yourself in the place of providence?

Stop simply having answers, start asking questions.

Listen, learn.

Do you believe that freedom resides in the future?

No, no. It is now. It is a choice.

The way you do things is going to be wildly or ever so slightly different from everybody else and it should be that way.

I’ve never liked rules, even the idea of them, because rules, by definition, should be universal. We know this isn’t true.

Principles are where it’s at! Honestly.

Do you want to be treated kindly, then treat others with kindness.

Do you want to be left alone? Leave other people alone.

Do you want wealth? Be of genuine service.

Do you want likes? Like other’s work.

The reality is most people just want you to agree with them. The ego will get you into fights because you believe, like them, that you are always right. No, no, no, no. no.

The greatest lessons I’ve learnt are the ones I didn’t want to hear.

That’s freedom, accepting that other people will do them and that you will do you.

Simples!

Planning all the time.

Trying to mould things all the time.

Being so rigid you become your own jailor.

Last night my lover and I spoke for five hours, we laughed ’til we cried, we talked about everything, we shared, we went with the flow.

Allow yourself to be surprised by life.

It’s the unplanned that’s the adventure!

You believe you know yourself.

Have you ever stopped to question the reasons why you behave as you do? Really thought about it?

Do you have emotional or psychological blindspots you’re not willing to examine?

It’s a familiar story.

There is so much that is automatic to you and me but does it serve you?

Habits give us a sense of security and familiarity but do they help you get the job done?

A thought to ponder this Sunday.

Inversion is everywhere.

I listen to the same people talking about not pleasing other people but then in the self same moment to stop looking inwards and being so insular.

To be fair, I don’t think it’s deliberate. Confusion is rife wherever you look and most are, in public gaze, trying to figure things out. I find it sort of amusing but I do have sympathy.

It’s not easy making sense of things because you do have to let go of the ego, you have to stop needing to be right all the time. This is a massive shift I’ve made recently to really listen to people. It’s peaceful and it’s inspiring. Do you know how much wisdom people have?

What’s incontrovertible, though, is that you have to sort yourself out before you help anyone else. We all know the aeroplane exercise, put your mask on first because you’re useless to your loved ones if you’re flailing around, breathless.

I understand it’s not fashionable now to reference psychology but these fields arise for a reason and whether you agree with them as a whole or not, of course there are valuable lessons. How you see yourself is how you see the world. Again, if you’re religious or not, it’s clear that prayer is a conversation between you and your maker. We pray for those we love, who we want to be saved and guided, but you can’t wish love if you inwardly loath, resent or feel bad for yourself.

I don’t care what anyone says, you have to sort yourself first.

Oi, oi, oi!

You’ve heard it, right?

How you use language matters.

As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that definitions are largely meaningless. You just can’t get people to agree! Most inconvenient, yes?

Well, life is about choices.

You want to be right?

You want to be happy?

You want to be successful?

You want to live ALL your dreams?

Then you have to let something go. A sacrifice is required.

The greatest thing you can sacrifice is your ego, the need to have all the answers, to ignore what people say, to reject wisdom because you’re so very knowledgeable.

I myself prefer a strong dose of wisdom.

When people say ‘their truth’, what they’re actually talking about is their perspective.

Truth is simply what happens and then people, inevitably, bring their belief systems, opinions, preferences and biases. It’s going to happen my friend and, truthfully, there’s very little you can do about it. It’s better to focus on your influence.

What are you doing to improve things?

Are you tending your own nest or invading someone else’s?

Look at the so-called freedom fighters telling you stuff, like it or not, they thrive on conflict. They absolutely love it. You can see it on their faces, in their body language and the way they behave.

That’s not my bag.

So I will say this, yes, think about how you would like to appear to people. What’s the very best version of yourself to put forward?

Always remember your wins. You’ve had many.

For all the talk of failure on Twitter (the same people will say ‘failure leads to lessons’) – righy-oh then, so if there’s a lesson, it’s not a failure. That’s my take.

I had a wonderful taste of things to come yesterday.

Active and creative on Twitter.

New friends.

Great walk.

Delicious food for dinner.

A wonderful boyfriend who supports and inspires me.

Glimpses.

Whichever direction successes come from, embrace. Swallow ‘em whole my friend! 

And remember them, remind yourself of your wins.

Have fun with your life.

Fortune favours the brave.

Serenity favours the active.

The greatest prison is procrastination.

The universe loves speed (not racing, not haste nor hurry).

We’re told “if in doubt, don’t do.” Nah!

When in doubt, carry on. Like I said yesterday, it’s just another step.

An unofficial tagline of mine is aspiring to not be bothered by things, to realise that whatever faces you, you can deal with it. You’re stronger than you believe and more capable than you know.

So, if there’s something you ‘need to do’, just do it.

Nothing is set in stone nor cast in concrete. The world is going on regardless and, believe me, there are way bigger fish to fry than the thing you’re agonising over.

Get things done, make them as simple as possible, don’t make such a big deal over them and wake up 

SATISFIED and FREE!

Always racing ahead.

I must confess my own guilt of this!

And guess what it leads to…….

Catastrophe and stress

Wherever you are, be there. Immerse yourself in the moment.

The beauty of life is those moments you catch when you’re not in hurry. Remember, hurry is not the same as pace or progress.

If you want everything at once, need to say everything at once, you’ll only fall over yourself.

The key is to get out of your own way.

Live by principle and purpose and prosperity will be delivered to you.

Thinking we know what other people are thinking.

Thinking we are always right.

Do we stop to ask? To question?

Am I actually right?

We severely lack humility and I’m not talking about being meek or weak. I am talking about do you ever really stop to consider…..

Could I be living life better?

Could I be making things simpler for myself?

Your Sunday opportunity to be more peaceful and more joyful.

What have you done with your life?

I guarantee you’ll have had some great times, strong moments, flashes of inspiration that you’ve acted upon.

Yet, have you acknowledged them?

Have you congratulated yourself?

Not as much as you should have.

So many talk of the passage of time, an inevitable process, yes, but so many talk of regret, “I wish I’d have started earlier.” et al.

Start considering how you’ve done certain things well. Really. Count your blessings, not your troubles.

What do your wins have in common?

Do more of that!

Yes, the usual phrase is “Peace in our time.” Yesterday I talked about delusion, how apt!

Do you rush to solve problems in the world before you’ve sorted out your own dysfunction?

I hazard a guess that’s often a yes!

I don’t care what anybody says, relationships and focus fail when you’re blaming other people, when you’re gazing so far into the distance you neglect what’s immediately in front of you.

It seems so easy to ‘fix’ other people and forget that everything you do is based on you…

Your thinking

Your beliefs of others

Your hasty conclusions

Your desire to be always right

The stresses you experience day-to-day

We don’t know other people, we simply assume.

I can speak for no one but myself. It’s a humbling fact and a freeing one.

Ask questions, listen. 

Why are you being fed certain narratives and scenarios?

Why are they important?

Are your heroes truly on your side?

Observe people’s behaviour. They may not be all that they claim.

And, no, I am not talking about a lack of trust.

I am talking about intrigue, skepticism and discernment.

The English were once renowned for their sophistication – let’s bring it back. Let’s make inner peace a noble aim again and see how that reduces war in the world.

You know what’s amazing? People believe what they say, they believe, in all honesty, that what they believe is true.

I’ve just watched a podcast from someone I really admire and like listening to who just said “The French have a proud history of freedom of speech.”

I’m sorry but I let out a totally involuntary laugh. I simply couldn’t hold it in.

There is truth is chaos, it’s where we sort through the bullshit and the truthful but do not allow yourself to start believing that your opinions are true just because you think them.

I’ve got things wrong with the love that I’m recently reunited with. I have humbled myself into accepting that my initial reactions are not necessarily correct.

Always ask yourself “why am I being told this?”

Ask also “is this an attack on me or the person saying it?”

Live not by lies.

Live truthfully.

And no, I don’t mean to attack.

I’m talking about focus.

I made a massive realisation yesterday, something frankly that I’ve known for a long time but truly admitted to myself whilst talking with my boyfriend on our evening call.

I’ve not been very respectful to the people I’ve been interacting with.

Now, to me, the English language is the very best there is. It is witty, smart, sharp, incisive, funny, emotional, flowing, staccato – you can do anything with it. It will probably always bother me, therefore, when I see people butcher it.

But I don’t want to fight with the world, I actually want to help make it better and, as a consequence, offer my services to do so.

I want to use my skills to genuinely help people who can’t do it for themselves, or want to pay someone else to do so they can focus on what matters to them.

Truth is, you and I and everyone in the world has there special place and contribution to make.

Wordsmith is my place, what is yours?

Everyone wants to be liked. I said it.

I’m in the early stages of seeing the lay of the land on Twitter but here’s one undeniable thing.

You’re all copying each other, with a handful of exceptions.

I honestly see people writing the exact-worded tweets as other people, passing it off like you said it first and wondering why you’re not standing out.

Of course, we understand it’s scary putting your head above the parapet, very few enjoy being criticised, very few enjoy being contradicted or disagreed with.

But you’re not here to simple agree with the status quo, I’m certainly not, and give a fleeting thumbs up because you want approval from your peers.

There are things you can’t control, yes, but when people tweet just trying to sound clever and others agree because they want to bask in those rays of sunshine as well, ironically, it’s very repetitive and once a statement sticks, it can easily become endorsed out of saying No.

I correct grammar in the comments.

I question what people are actually saying.

I happily disagree when something doesn’t add up. (I’m logical like that!)

And I’ll tell you what, when I do, I get more and more confident as well as clearer in my thinking, my behaviour too. Wonderful!

I’m not necessarily a member of the ‘you weren’t born to blend in, you were born to stand out’ happy-clappy crowd but I certainly don’t advocate for agreeing just because you don’t want to rock the boat.

Live not by lies.

No, there is a unique reason why you’re on the planet, I fundamentally believe that and our spiritual and personal journeys are to ask questions, speak truth and discover our purposes.

Make everything as fun, informative and sparkly as you can.

I’ve indulged many vices in my time.

One of them – believing people have had it in for me, trying to manipulate me. What has this meant? Well, it’s meant I’ve attracted some rather unsavoury people into my life.

Here’s the bit you won’t want to hear – yes, you’re responsible for that too – the people you welcome into your life. Never let vampires cross your threshold, you have to invite them in first.

Of course, once you’ve repeated a pattern so many times, it becomes habitual and, as expected, you will assume that all people have some nefarious motive.

I’ve discovered, thankfully, that this is not always the case.

I recently reunited with my boyfriend. I feel very blessed, very fortunate and very peaceful knowing there are very special people out there who really do care.

Start to rack up the wins, good fortunes and blessings, pay close attention to the joy in your life. Then, and only then, will you start to live a life so many only dream of.

Allow the good people in.

Ever fancied rewriting history? You’re not alone.

You’ve had wins.

You’ve had setbacks.

You’ve felt great about yourself.

You’ve doubted you’ll ever do anything, be anything.

Here’s the truth you can cling to.

Whatever’s happened, you’ve done it.

You decided.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you stop beating yourself up and start living your life.