Month: December 2024

Final day of the year! Wowzers!

Yesterday I trained, today, slightly difficult to stretch my arms, but in a good way.

Like it or not, we humans are shit at predicting stuff and it’s fine. Absolutely fine.

The purpose of life is living it as well and as good as we can.

Happy New Year’s Eve my friend.

There’s more greatness to come!

Just finished a first training session in some time.

Feels fucking brilliant.

You see, the longer you put things off, the weaker you become. Proactive behaviour is about getting stronger, more resourceful. You have the technology and opportunity at your finger tips.

I don’t drive, yes, it’s a bit isolating but I have a garage space with my home gym equipment in it, ready to be used at any time. No excuses, except the ones that I’ve found.

You want to wait for things to be perfect? To do everything at the very right time. Yeah, we know that never happens, what will I eat afterward, am I eating the right thing?

Judgement, judgement, judgement. It doesn’t really matter, whatever you read is someone else’s opinion and likely won’t even work for you.

I am talking about weight training here but it goes for everything. Science is never settled, just what a small group agree upon and the majority follow.

Find your own way. It feels great because it means you can do what you want, when you want and you don’t have to worry about getting it ‘right’. 

Just get it done.

You’ll figure out the details as you go.

So much of what we think matters really doesn’t.

I was re-watching a podcast last night in which the speakers were making jokes about a panda being sent to a very dreary zoo. At one point they mention lions and it reminded me of a story from my school days getting on for 30 years ago now!

It was my German oral exam and I, funnily enough, was describing children visiting a zoo. I hadn’t done that much revision for this exam and I was being guided through the experience by my teacher. It has stuck in my mind as one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. To this day!

What’s funny though is how totally irrelevant the exam is now.

This desperate clinging to how things are going to alter the entire course of our life. We place so much pressure, especially on children, for things that mean nothing.

As grownups, even in our 20s, we realise there are infinitely more options and opportunities available to us and what grade we get in a foreign language exam has no bearing on what we’ll do with the rest of our lives. It’s easy, of course, to say this in hindsight but be mindful.

Whatever you’re going through now, will it matter in a week or a month or a year – or more? Apply this lesson daily, it’ll enable you to focus on what really matters.

You know the phrase.

Got to do it yourself.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants what you want more than you. This fact will determine your results.

How much and the quality of your action will yield you many or no fruits.

Your mind plays tricks on you that you’re doing enough, that ‘little’ things don’t matter but, of course, you know they do.

Get it done and do it yourself, you’ll get more confident that way.

Everything that’s sent your way is there to see how you conduct yourself.

Do we always get it perfectly neat and tidy? No.

We react in the moment.

That’s why I’m in therapy because I won’t give people the satisfaction of walking all over me anymore and I’m learning ways, finally, to be more assertive, less reactive and have greater confidence in myself.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they say.

I say, whatever gets thrown your way, be the bigger and better man.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to rest.

It’s okay to be you.

It’s okay to feel lost.

It’s okay to have fun.

It’s okay to have sex.

It’s okay to daydream.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s okay to be on your own.

It’s okay to live your own life.

It’s okay to do your own thing.

It’s okay to want a relationship.

It’s okay to admit you don’t know.

It’s okay to have big, shiny dreams.

It’s okay to not have all the answers.

It’s okay to feel hopeless sometimes.

It’s okay to wander down random paths.

It’s okay to try things that other people won’t.

It’s okay to keep going even if you’re making it up.

Everything, my friend, is fine, it’s all absolutely okay.

War doesn’t start without. It starts within.

You have to know what you think. 

Do not be swayed by being in one group or another.

When you boil things down, you’ll realise your belief system will produce many Venn diagrams with other people, other groups.

I realise, so often, I’ve tried to blend and make allowances for people. It’s been totally at the expense of my own confidence and progress.

Stop joining factions.

Search for truth.

You know what I see?

People cutting corners.

I swear when I was in London, I spent more time tidying the gym than the staff did. Trainers sitting on the dumbbells and gym-goers leaning on the dumbbells doing single-arm rows. Ugh!

Litter too. I see so much of it and, naturally, I don’t leave it, I pick it up and make things BEAUTIFUL! 

Proper means you value where you are.

Proper means you value what you do.

Proper means you don’t skimp.

You get the job done properly.

There’s a lady who spends long weekends here at my building. It is so curious to me that she drives in and parks her car outside her garage in the turning area ALL DAY and then when she’s returned, she then parks her car.

Honestly, I don’t get it. I do believe I’ll always retain some of perfectionistic tendencies because, well, it makes sense and makes things look lovely.

Whatever you’re doing, do it wholeheartedly.

Wherever you are, be there wholeheartedly.

That’s the aim at least.

Christmas is imminent!

You’re probably in the throes of preparation.

I am not here to give you advice about how to deal with your relatives, you’re going to have to sort that out for yourself. Keeping it buttoned up is usually a successful strategy.

My sister and I used to travel to our uncle’s house for the immediate and extended family get-together but we abandoned that many years ago. The travelling is such a shag!!!

What I am here to say is use this time to remember you have a voice. It sounds like a clichéd and obvious thing but honestly, keeping your sanity is based NOT on trying to figure other people out but to start establishing what it is YOU need from life and how to live it properly. 

Most don’t know what the fuck they want so you trying to figure it out is a hiding to nothing.

Always remember USE your voice, LIVE your own life.

Is it just me or are we living in times of such extremes?!

You’re either a loser or a fighter.

You’re useless or hustling 50 hours a day.

You have to fuck 100 men in one day or you’re a moronic, fat incel!

Can the reasonable, balanced men please stand up?

The title of this post is inspired by an episode of a YouTuber I just discovered. The channel’s called Richard The Fourth. I found his English voice profoundly calming.

In our sea of chaos, there are lone voices reminding us that there are other ways of skinning this chicken!

People, these days, go from hyper to helpless because we are drowning in such vast amounts of information and contradictory belief systems, we forget to listen to our own voices.

It has to stop if mankind is to take any dignified stance. And, of course, it starts with you and me, individually, rationally, in charge of our emotions.

Breathe, reboot, reflect, take the next step.

I’m a stickler for wanting as much variety in my life as possible.

The downside of this?

Spreading myself too thinly. Always jumping.

We have a fear of getting specific as we fear missing out on great opportunities.

Like I mentioned in my YouTube video yesterday, you’re thinking the wrong way round.

When you throw yourself into a particular niche or project, you get the satisfaction of achievement and you’ll be amazed at the great opportunities and rewards that come as a result.

I’ve experienced burnout so many times partly because I’ve tried to do too many things at once and I’ve tried to be all things to all people.

It can’t be done.

Of course you can have your hobbies and passions along the way, they help to breakup the struggles and challenges but learn to throw yourself into a project and GET IT DONE.

Keep in mind that you have time, stress is the enemy of success. I remember speaking with someone who argued with me that you can be stressed and joyful (productive) at the same time. You can’t. In times of struggle, bring yourself back to why you started, what you’re working on and the results will be incredible. 

Don’t think about adding more stuff in, focus on saying no to what doesn’t work for you and your ultimate dream.

Get specific.

It will speed the process up, you’ll get more done and it’ll leave room for all the things you want to do.

Simple.

– Your energy

– Your influence

– Your endeavours

They are all so powerful! Immensely.

I have no regrets. Going through everything I have, I have gained great resilience and strength, wisdom too!

One thing I know I will be doing from now on is to retain as much of my authority and decision-making to things that benefit me AND those around me.

I will no longer say “yes” when my heart and mind say “no”.

I made a new friend shortly after moving back to my home town and we’ve been chatting off and on, including last night. He invited me out for lunch today but I said no, preferring to meet next week. I will not rush into things, I will trust my instincts and I will observe what emotions come up so I can learn from them.

For whatever reasons, I feel tremendous guilt when I act in my own interest. It’s something I am wholeheartedly working on. Embracing my decisions is improving my life – it means decisions become easier and I can get on with my day mentally and emotional unencumbered.

The reality is this – you have to put the power back in your own hands, knowing full well that no one will do it for you. People, very often, are selfish because that’s how most of us have been taught that way. It’s not a judgemental thing to say, you can it all the time.

Observe and move on.

Be only around people you can express yourself freely with. Be radical about it and stand your ground in all aspects.

The power is already in your hands.

Use it.

We value racing, hustling, rushing, outdoing everyone.

There’s a place for it.

There’s also a place for opening your eyes to the wonders already around you.

However you do it, getting the work done matters, absolutely.

Spontaneity is also rather delicious.

Yesterday, I had a beautifully creative day. It feeds my soul getting the things done that I love.

I love exploring.

And, increasingly, I love setting myself little challenges and completing them – a little DIY project, an augmented route on walks I do regularly, staying in and relaxing, going out to the city to wander. 

Genuine variety and, you know what, I wake up feeling refreshed and inspired.

What would it look like to live life more presently?

Every day is a gift. Treat them that way.

I had the bizarrest dream experience last night! I absolutely swear this is the truth.

In the dream, I was struck by a friend’s father with a metre rule and when I woke up I could feel the burning sensation on my leg where he had impacted me in the dream. No word of a lie!

It has worn off now but, you’ll understand, I felt very disturbed and had no idea what was going on. I still don’t.

There’s so much we don’t know, even about things that have happened to us. What is the actual nature of the world and reality, it’s so massive.

We bury.

We deny.

We ignore.

But it’s all still there and we are dealing and impacted by our experiences whether we like it or not.

It’s the same with decisions. You are left with the consequences, your character is shaped by the things you do, your footprint is left in many places and you have to live with it.

I am not advocating regret. Regret is a pointless ghost because what’s happened has happened. Simple, unavoidable.

Shape a life you’re proud of.

Any other way of being than taking full responsibility for YOUR life is a prison. Simple.

Knowing what it is your responsibility and what’s not is key to being an adult and having grownup interactions.

Never, ever let anyone use anything about you to treat you like a doormat. That’s not the way.

They will try.

Don’t fall for it.

Of course, remember, you are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

Create a life of joy, wins and freedom!

I was watching the newly released episode of my absolute favourite podcaster this AM (especially fabulous as it was with my favourite guest on said pod).

Midway into the conversation, the host, whom I absolutely love, I really do, started quoting scripture (it’s wonderful but hear me out) and it made me think, we don’t get to hear (his) voice as much.

You are born unique.

You have unique skills.

You have a unique voice!

Please, don’t blend, trend!

Use the power of your own words, your own throughs, your own feelings and show that you’re a deep, delicious man!

Speak in your own voice!

I had a wild dream last night.

I had a long term job that ended in 2014. There was a nightmare, bitch from Hell that worked in HR (need I say more?) who terrorised and bullied many of the staff, it was one of the final nails in the coffin for my leaving.

Last night, in the dream, I told her that she was a bitch and I woke up feeling most satisfied.

You’re always letting go of things, sorting things out in your head, establishing the truth of the world.

We do it through experiences, always acknowledging our roles in the world, deciding how it is how we each, individually, wish to live.

Which principles do you live by?

Are you living passively or (not aggressively) proactively.

A recent experience with a neighbour revealed to me that what many call aggressive is in fact self-determined, assertive and saying no to people.

Needless to say, most don’t like being told no because it means they don’t get their way anymore.

Have a constant attitude and practice of clearing out what doesn’t serve you emotionally, spiritually, psychologically and physically. You are many cosmoses of wisdom, potential and (the kicker!) unresolved trauma.

Take an active role in your life.

Make everything you do as simple as possible.

Leave the room for joy, fulfilment and self-empowerment.

Have a fabulous day!

Inspired from the video I recorded yesterday, whether you like it or not, you’re in charge.

It’s exceptionally easy to make excuses, to blame others, but, when it comes down to it, it’s up to you and you do make the decisions.

There is no point in living life passively.

Are you in or are you out?

I’ve rested, not slept, my way into this new day.

When you’re endowed with a highly analytical mind, like mine, you’ll have a million and one thoughts, questions, ambitious up there! It’s rather exhausting sometimes but, you know, I’d rather have the ability to find the truth than live in darkness.

It’s a rollercoaster this life.

Ups and downs, and loops and rounds.

And it’s definitely a whirlwind. Random shit will fly before your eyes and you have to deal with it.

C’est la vie, sweetie!

But it’s exciting and thrilling and when you get a moment of rest, you’ll realise you’re doing your best.

Keep yourself grounded as much as you can. 

You never know what’s coming.

Oh, the Hustle-Grind Bros are going to Haaaaaaate this.

I’m still figuring things out. I’m 43.

We’re all figuring things out.

Make some friends.

Make some money.

Have jobs.

Have fun.

The incredible thing I’m seeing is just how young the people are building businesses. That is genuinely new.

There are the 20 somethings telling the 50 year olds to get to the gym again and I watch videos seeing the slipped discs and lower-back ailments they’ll be getting in five years time. It’s a cycle.

Everyone needs to go through what they’re doing. You will never convince people otherwise.

There’s someone I follow in his 20s who’s on testosterone therapy, walking around with permanent veins on his arms and shoulders, statistically he’ll be dead in his 50s.

It’s all grim-sounding, I realise that but I’ve been through so many rounds of this stuff that it’s just predictable now.

You have time.

Of course, the content producers are asking the….

“What will 2025 bring for you?”

“What are your goals for 2025?”

“How has your 2024 been?” Questions

Nothing wrong with it (terribly boring though!).

I’m seeing things more long-term now. Ironic, I know, given I’m getting older.

There’s no need to panic.

There’s no need to rush.

There’s no hurry.

Maybe I’m wrong, who knows but consistency with the right activities will only happen when you can dedicate yourself to a cause for a longer length of time.

Relax AND get the work done.

Leave room for joy and adventure.

I’m an unbridled perfectionist!

In my mind, there is a perfect way of doing things, not that I could actually describe some of the details.

It’s learnt.

I’ve been around people for whom nothing is good enough. There’s always ‘something else’ we could do. 

Never relaxed, never satisfied, always living in the future.

Perfectionism makes everything feel massive and impenetrable.

There is no right or wrong way, there is your way.

You’re doing the work, it has to work for you.

Remember, of course,

To keep your hand in.

Exercise that creative muscle!

Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it. 

Scared to win, scared to succeed, Martin’s really lost it now!

But, if you allow yourself, observe people’s behaviour.

Are they pursuing their dreams?

Are they doing their own thinking?

Are they crashing through their mental barriers?

I think we can safely predict the answer.

No.

They believe.

They follow – even to their own demise.

They repeat the same talking points as ‘the experts’.

Desperate to fit in, when it harms them.

To win, you have to go ahead of the pack.

To win, you have to stand up for something – AKA the truth.

To win, you must be consistent, regardless of people’s objections.

You’ve heard of Tall Poppy Syndrome, it’s a tool to make you vanish into groupthink.

Don’t listen.

Be great.

Be bold.

Win.

There’s something happening on Twitter and it doesn’t appear to be just me.

I’m haemorrhaging followers.

Some are saying it’s a Musk nuke on bots.

Others are saying it’s for irrelevant accounts.

I dunno.

But can I control any of it? Also of what people can say or think? No.

What I can control is offering the value within in.

Sharing inspirational notes.

Sharing funny stuff.

Sharing wise stuff.

Learn what you can control, fucking relax and keep on keeping on.

My current theme is ‘it’s your life’.

Sounds obvious, yes?

Well, you’d be surprised.

I’ve been frightened to say no.

I spread myself so thinly I didn’t know who I was anymore.

The truth is, life gets messy and sometimes you miss the ‘schedule’.

N’matter.

Get it done, if for no-one else, for yourself.

Everyone wants their way. Absolutely.

We’re taught to be kind to people, be understanding they’ll say, let people have their way.

What about you that is left with the results?

Whether we like it or not, people want to dominate, they want to spread their views, their influence, they want to be noticed and agreed with.

Saying no is hard, people can be massive pricks, but how do you want your life to be? What do YOU want your life to look like?

Please yourself and expect nothing of others.

Don’t you feel like there’s ‘always something’ to deal with these days?

Well, you know what, despite feeling anxious sometimes, I wouldn’t change it because every time I face something challenging, I overcome it resiliently and am the better for it after.

It’s a highly optimistic world view and that’s me.

There are always people demanding things.

There are tasks you’re fretting over.

Yes, it can feel like a headache.

But which is worse?

Avoiding what you know you can do and staying in the same place you’re not happy with?

Or facing the fears and realising that life is much simpler than you think?

Not really a contest is it?