Month: March 2025

What is it we really value in the people we follow?

I certainly love humour, wit, insight in them. Of course, what sets people apart is what they do.

My therapist asked me a great question last time we met in response to me commenting I had been isolating for a long time.

Him: Isolating or waiting?

It hit me, smack between the eyes. The relationships I’ve formed and invested in were not the uplifting connections I had wanted.

Now that I am back in my native surroundings, one of the things I am doing regularly (and you may not consider this ‘doing’ something about my situation) is visiting a local stately home, a very famous one in England. 

Now that I’m taking more time to look around the place rather than racing through, I am talking with people. The ones I get along with. The ones I have a laugh with, the ones whose enthusiasm resonates with me most. 

Choice.

I’m choosing more, I’m being more discerning and I am feeling less and less guilty about moving away from the energies I don’t like.

You can’t live a proper life from the sidelines.

I make more and more decisions these days with greater confidence and greater simplicity. It’s very easy to pontificate from the shadows rather than getting out into the light of life.

You will have your definition of what ‘action’ is, what ‘getting out into the world’ is. It’s fine. We choose, authentically, dependent on our individual paths.

Stop churning over all the decisions you’ve made in the past. Discover where you made those destructive decisions, sort it and move on.

The world is waiting for confident and sorted men.

I’m buzzing from my conversation last night with two fabulous men I met on Twitter.

It was so calming and open and honest. Really beautiful.

By the way, this post is not intended to be a ‘you don’t need to make money, material things are rubbish’ rant. No, no, no.

I like stuff. I love nice stuff in fact.

But, obviously, having fabulous relationships with people is the cornerstone of any great life, of any great people.

Most cultures are low trust.

Western cultures have always thrived on high trust, exchanging value, sound contracts, uplifting exchanges, positive. Using the technology we have is a blessing when employed properly. Both the men I chatted with last night are in The States. Our conversation wouldn’t have been possible twenty or thirty years ago.

We all need support and speaking with these two lovely chaps has left me feeling really accepted and listened to and valued. Thank you, boys.

Most heartwarming.

I’m staggered at how many people use Twitter to inform us all at how painful and short and bleak life is!

There are challenges and times you can feel helpless, of course. We’re human (if you didn’t know!).

But it’s time to be counter-cultural. Start thinking of what you CAN do rather than what you can’t.

We’re all subject to the myths and propaganda of our time. Be discerning, be sophisticated, learn to rise above the noise.

I friend commented on a tweet of mine.

It got me thinking that we’re so obsessed with the procedure, that we forget the outcomes.

A long standing friend of my sister’s is splitting with her boyfriend with whom she has a child. Nothing serious or catastrophic has happened between them and not for a second will they think of their son. It absolutely baffles me.

I believe that people parrot advice because they’ve heard it so many times but don’t necessarily thing about how effective the advice is.

Having had a glowing endorsement from a potential coaching client, I realise the key is doing your own thinking. It’s not very common, I have to say. Most people, from what I observe, do what they’re told.

Looking at the results (of which you have many) means you have your eyes open.

I am spark.

I am an inspiration.

I am a moment of creation.

Say these back to yourself and ask how much do I realise these things and how much do I live them.

I recently had a discovery call with a potential coaching client and I asked for a testimonial from him. I followed up with him after a bit of a gap and he sent me back his thoughts.

When I ask for these things, I never quite know what’s going to come back but, frankly, I was very touched by what he said (which I’ve included as the image in this post).

It’s fascinating to get the opportunity to see myself through his eyes.

Always ask.

Listen to the truth.

Always believe in yourself.

I’m shedding a million skins at the moment.

It’s exhausting, relentless and, often, irritating.

It’s temporary, I know this but it’s intense sorting yourself out.

It’s probably, now, one of the most over-referenced films but I’m going to do it anyway.

Neo, in The Matrix: I can’t go back can I?

Morpheus: No, but if you could, would you want to?

Even I have offered the standard “keep going” advice but, obviously, it’s not particularly helpful when my sleep’s disrupted, when I feel angry for feeling like I’ve wasted so much time, when I feel disappointed I’ve made many impulsive decisions in my past.

Honest to God, every millimetre of frustration is coming up all at once and sometimes I genuinely get short of breath and have to find ways to calm myself down. Quite often now, I find myself having to just stop move when I’m out on my walks to collect myself.

I understand you don’t want to do therapy. I understand you’re young and think that going to the gym will sort your head out but it won’t. You’ll just end up taking your anger out on the lat pulldown machine and get an irreparable shoulder cuff injury. I’ve seen it so many times.

I am an advocate of the mixed method – do the gym AND therapy. So you can feel starving and pissed off at the same time and push yourself through the momentary period of feeling lost and curious and hopeful all at once.

It’s a mighty head-fuck, I agree, but it’s worth it because distractions are not you, thoughts are not you.

Peace, joy and clarity ARE you. By all means, call me idealistic, soft and weak but I believe this is why you’re avoiding asking for ‘that help’ because there’s an unspoken admission that you don’t want to go through this stage. People don’t talk about this side of therapy that just feels like shit.

But this too shall pass. It’s up to you to decide if you’re willing and brave enough to do it.

I’m glad to be doing it because I know ultimately it will free me but, right now, ugh!

One of the most curious things I’ve noticed is just how contrary and opposite people can be.

Since moving back to my hometown, people are imbued with a great sense of entitlement. Rules for thee and rules for me.

One of the earliest examples was the managing agents of the apartment complex I live in decreeing that we had to ask permission of them to make changes to our properties. I instantly felt confused and annoyed by this imposition.

When you have a state saying everyone has ‘rights’, people push as far as they can to get their way.

Part of the problem is the dissolution of the notion of ‘property’ and of ‘privacy’. We all see and feel this. Nothing belongs to us, it’s absolutely be design but there is an unlawfulness about it and an injustice about it.

It’s why confidence and firmness are more important than ever!

We’re an interesting bunch, the English. We apologise when someone else has done something wrong.

I was in the shop yesterday and because we’re not supposed to be using plastic bags anymore (bollocks), the staff are putting fewer and fewer of them out at the checkouts.

While the sales assistant was busily occupied with his back to her for several moments, she had to ask several times for bags, apologising profusely for requesting and it was honestly like witnessing some bizarre social experiment of inversion.

“I’m sorry” is one phrase, another is “excuse me.”

Again! Most often used when someone else is getting in the way, blocking a concourse, taking up all the space on a path.

You can tell that this stuff bugs me because it’s all unnecessary and I believe it is actually symptomatic of an ever-encroaching state and organisations that just won’t leave us alone, won’t stop interfering. There is also the fact that a lot of people have simply ‘given up’.

Standards are hard to find. I choose to be the man who picks up the litter when I see it.

I will acknowledge that people are confused, all of the old structures and principles have vanished (mostly because we’re not really Christian anymore as a people).

The solution, stop apologising when you’re asking perfectly reasonable things. Stop apologising when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Much of the time, I find myself short of breath. Anxious.

Not only am I doing deep soul-searching, in therapy, establish who I really am and what I really want to do, I’m doing it all sober so I am hyper aware of what’s going on.

No mask

No excuses

Nowhere to hide

It’s a brutal business.

And yet, there are people still trying to get their way.

I find a lot of it exhausting.

My priority is becoming the most resilient and peaceful I can be. It can feel very lonely. I’m still churning over things that happened with my ex, from people I knew decades ago. It’s all streaming out.

It is a process, not an end result.

Be strong.

Be honest.

I had a conversation earlier today with a coach I hired.

Let’s just say we have some differences of opinion when it comes to ‘style’ of coaching.

A few months ago, I would have been crippled with embarrassment to say the things in the way I said them to this chap today.

We’ve definitely lost a cultural sense of distinction – language has been watered down, we are referred to as ‘man’ or ‘bro’ or ‘brother’ rather than our names, it’s all impersonal and scientific.

I am cutting through this stuff. Being called man pisses me off, so I tell people to not call me that. This is distinct from the pronouns issue because I am talking about how I want to be treated, I don’t expect this to be a universal rule and I will not advocate legislation to penalise people but I will use it as a means to see who’s reasonable and who’s listening.

But being direct is different from being so-called aggressive or nasty or being a bit of a arsehole.

Learn to be a little more discerning and, despite the language in this post, be a bit more sophisticated. 

Adult.

No! 

Don’t tell me.

Don’t want to hear that!

What ultimately ended things with my ex was telling the truth, it was about being honest with myself.

The last thing I said to my ex was “why are you so horrible?”

It feels rather tame now and I’m sort of laughing at it but, like I tweeted out earlier today, common sense is a myth, most don’t want to believe things because it’s awkward.

Why awkward?

It’s an obstacle to them getting what they want.

And you’ll know what this feels like. You’ve had obstacles. Fucking hell, I know I’ve encountered massive roadblocks.

But most of the roadblocks are me believing them, automatically assuming they’re correct, like a reflex response assuming I must take on other people’s words.

They deny the truth.

You deny the truth.

I deny the truth.

We all do it, to varying degrees.

I am trying acceptance at the moment, radical. Hard, hard, hard. Painful. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Humbling.

Process.

Work-in-fucking-motion.

I’ve heard these words plenty in my time.

Beware.

It usually means they’re going to tell you to do something that they’re not doing.

“This troubles me.” – you’re not doing as I do.

“I’m slightly concerned…” – they’re not in control.

“We’re worried that…” – you’ve done some thinking of your own.

What am I looking for in relationships these days? Conversation. Discussion. Not orders. Not top down.

The reality is, my friends, it means a lot of relationships will fall at the wayside. As you understand the truth of the world and you start to actually question what you believe and how people treat you, you’ll find a lot of people wanting.

People will say to do things they don’t practice

AND

Will speak in code because they don’t want to be direct.

So equality means special treatment.

What’s wrong with that means why don’t you do it my way?

You’re too full on means I don’t have any confidence in myself or I don’t have standards.

You have to sift.

I’ve known a plethora of people who had loads of ‘friends’ who they relentlessly whinged about – all out of neediness and desperation to be seen as popular. Whole house parties full of people that were rude, who rolled their eyes at everything, who looked down their noses all the time. Ugly. Really ugly.

It’s a bold move to say “I want and deserve to be treated in a respectful way.” Especially when you open yourself up as a true friend who’ll listen. 

Some may say I’m being picky but this is code for “you should lessen your standards for me.” I’m being selective, yes, very selective but it’s my life.

Just because the wind howls, does not mean the tree is toppled.

I’m learning this now.

I can’t deny that I feel rather pathetic for being in therapy at 43 when I could have done it for my own reasons in my 20s. I hate admitting regret, it feels like a betrayal of my soul. It feels like fundamentally renouncing my nature.

But the fact is I have heard and listened and taken on many opinions that others have said assuming, unequivocally, they must be right.

It’s ridiculous, I know it is but everything I am saying is acknowledging feelings that rise so quickly I can’t ignore them and this is what I am working on at the moment. It’s a brutal and uncomfortable process, highly. 

I try to make light of it by saying I’m doing a Spring Cleaning of my life but, honestly, much of the time it feels like wading through a swamp of shit.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Only way through.

Personalities want something. Always.

And people push for what they want. Believe me, I’ve been at the receiving end of much of this.

Criticism

Ghosting

Ignorance

Abandonment

Seen it all.

The reason we enter into ventures, relationships, education, there’s always some perceived advantage or need we are fulfilling.

Months ago, splitting from my ex, I realised just how desperate my behaviour has been, not just to please people but desperately to try and make things work because I didn’t want to admit failure. I wanted to believe it would work because I didn’t want to see an end to yet another relationship.

Literally in the last few days, however, I’ve grown even more honest with myself in a powerful admission – I haven’t wanted to endorse or acknowledge certain states and emotions. In fact, I’ve been terrified to do so. Chiefly, regret is something I have wanted to totally ignore, to the point of trying to convince myself it doesn’t exist. Failure too. Haven’t wanted to admit that.

I have, in effect, using ‘positivity’ as another psychological prison.

I discussed this with my therapist. The conclusion I came to was in acknowledging regrets and failures, I somehow castigate myself as ungrateful, pessimistic, hopeless. I had to remind myself of something I advise many people to do….

Wherever you are, be there.

Radical honesty – it’s brutal. I feel it is particularly brutal for me because, having for so long denied these things, I am now looking at all the times I’ve done it and am retrospectively beating myself up. I feel it viscerally in my body, my legs tingle, my stomach tightens, I get shortness of breath.

Oh, just put it behind you. Nah, not me, yet. If you’ve been piling up shit for decades, you’re going to have to clear it up and put it in its proper place and that is what the personal work is for me.

The exhaustion I’ve felt,

The mental heaviness I’ve frequently experienced,

The lack of focus and relentless inability to truly relax into the flow of life,

All these, now, make abundant sense to me. I’ve lived with a pervasive sense of confusion and much of it is this denial I’ve indulged.

Getting better requires getting honest. You will be required to admit stuff you’ve buried.

What’s the lesson?

Where’s the wisdom?

When will you give yourself a break?

You did things because you thought they’d make you feel better. You and I know it was at the expense of your soul and your better judgement. It is done, but you will need to get used to the fact that certain things, certain people, certain opportunities are gone. That’s the trade-off. And as you improve, you’ll have to trade security for flexibility. Life is not meant to lived rigidly, you know? Free-flowing, joyful, free full stop. That’s the natural state but obviously we get augmented and manipulated and persuaded into things that are damaging but that’s what desire does.

It seems like a good idea at the time but you will always live with the consequences.

Trade self-loathing for self-improvement.

You’re always going to be you.

You’re always going to be in your skin.

It’s time, and you known it, to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Or was I?

I spoke recently about having a discovery call with a very nice chap. He e-mailed me the other day to say, in round terms ‘that it wasn’t the right time for him.’

To be honest, I am not surprised.

Had I had this experience six months ago I would have been incredibly disappointed but I’m not today.

When you put yourself out there, you are going to get a lot of different responses, always remember that what feels like an end is only the beginning. If you’ve had a ‘no’ that means you’ve gone through the process to a certain point and you’re braver than most people.

I recall the conversation he and I had and you know what I felt?

Powerful.

I felt bold, confident, honest. I challenged the man and, of course, his decision is his to make. Who knows maybe he and I will work together at some future point but that is not the real point.

He was the first focused conversation I’ve had, there will be many more.

Keep going. 

It’s only the end when you say it is.

We’re incredulous AND we’re credulous.

Human nature bizarrely allows for contradictory positions to be held at the same time and that is how you’re manipulated.

Carefully offered models have been delivered to us to make us believe particular things.

Politicians are there to represent our needs and desires – HA!

Scientists™️ accurately deliver ‘truths’ about climate change – Please!

Experts know better than us how we should live our lives – OH, child!

These are some examples of how dangerously credulous we can be (and many tens of millions FALL into this category).

Here is the even more dangerous position we can take.

Our incredulity can lead us to ask “but why would they do this? How can they be so cruel? Why do they want to wreak such havoc, such destruction?”

They are motivated by darkness. They do not like you. They don’t want freedom for you. They want it for themselves. Just look at what they DO. Ignore what they say – this is a rule for anyone you deal with.

Talk is cheap, action is valuable.

Here’s the thing though. Are you one of the people who allows this tiny group of people’s behaviour to colour the entirety of humanity?

The Human faculty to extrapolate out from one to many is powerful but, at times, enormously destructive.

We see politicians and bankers and ‘leaders’ (all the same mob if you haven’t already noticed) and we assume that because they have a certain nature that everyone does. No, no, no, no, no.

Much of the bleakness and lack of faith in human nature comes from thinking that everyone is the same. Again, no, no, no, no, no.

I am constantly reminded of what Tania Edwards said on James Delingpole’s podcast,

James: It’s by coercion. – Yes, indeed.

Tania: But it’s also by compliance.

Why did the Australians suffer such hideous treatment during the Plandemic? It’s historically known as an island of convicts – half true, the other half staff the prisons. Get the full picture, get the full truth.

This is why I always advocate for two things.

1. Learn to say “No.”

2. Live Your Own Life.

You doubt your individual influence at your peril.

I am not painting a pretty picture of sunshine and rainbows. I am not ignorant of the problems people face but whether you’re happy or sad, we’re in the boat we’re in.

Always have in the back (and front) of your mind, what could I actually achieve if I really believe in it. What am I actually capable of if I really believe in myself?

My ex was obsessed with death. He was actually very dark!

Thing is, I’ve talked about him a lot recently but I don’t hate him. In fact, I am grateful for having been ‘involved’ with him. The relationship has taught me an awful lot about myself and how to do better.

Interestingly, I’ve just been taken up with a short comment exchange on a YouTube video I did a couple of days ago and see the need to be ‘right’ everywhere I go.

We all do it to some extent but it’s a waste of time trying to change people’s minds. No, I want to be uplifted. I want to stand up for myself and experience what it feels like. When I stand up for myself these days, I get a whole raft of emotions.

I get tingling sensations in my chest and stomach, my forehead feels like it’s raising up out of my body. I get a bird’s eye view, it is a bizarre situation to be in but here’s the shift I’ve made in the last few weeks…..

Rather than judge myself for feeling and believing what’s occurring in the moment, I get very curious and, as time goes by, stiller in the process. The words people use say nothing about me, they inform me of what they believe about themselves and we can trust this because they ask us no questions, only make statements.

Most people do not know other people, it’s too time-consuming for them and too inconvenient.

In my ‘culture wars’ YouTube stage, Dinesh D’Souza was frequently pushed. I adopted a phrase he used when speaking with a young, idealistic boy in the audience – “Turn that moral mirror on yourself.” I’ve used it quite a bit because, obviously, it’s far easier to seemingly criticise other people than look at yourself.

The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.

I’m still unravelling all of the shit that went down with my ex, clearly and understandably, I opened this post talking about him.

Also, as time goes by, I focus on where I am, what I feel, which beliefs serve and destroy me, I’m learning to let go more easily – BUT NOT GIVE IN TO BE LIKED AND LOWERED! Giving in is passive, letting go is adult, responsible and uplifted (if you want a clear distinction).

It’s life, it’s not an end result, it’s a constant becoming but if you’re ‘questioning’ and open, you’ll make a better life for yourself. Anger is the truly global affliction.

What could you do if you allow yourself to feel uplifted? To be grateful for what’s happened so you can overcome any obstacle? A noble goal and very much a work in progress.

It’s been a pervasive theme in my life of not really experiencing things that are mine.

I can’t sugarcoat it, there have been many invasive people persistently questioning and shitting over things I’ve done and want to do.

Nothing, ever, and I mean ever, good enough. Let’s kill this with some questions now, shall we. ‘We’ have to be involved, can’t possibly be left out.

Also can’t lie, moving back to where I grew up was out of genuine desire to return to a living situation that I love but also a massive fleeing from London, from chaotic city life, from the colossal claustrophobia of it all, so many people, so much noise, so much surveillance.

I’ve always wanted something of my own and I remember even when I was growing up, just how hard it seemed to be to get that.

No privacy.

Objections everywhere.

Constant dissatisfaction from those around me with things people would kill to have.

I get overwhelmed.

I get annoyed.

Want to scream sometimes.

But I am proud of myself for the results I am getting now. It’s the beginning of crafting the life that I want and it feels brilliant.

Keep going!

In the aftermath of the first major conversation I’ve had on my coaching journey, I’ve talked about making things simple. 

But my goodness, what is really apparent to me now is just how frightened and nervous and weak-willed we have become as a people.

We truly have greatness in us.

Tremendous power to do incredible things.

Divine will to overcome what seems impossible.

Let’s live bigger.

Let’s live more beautifully.

Let’s live to our true potential.

Let it Rip!

It can feel like the efforts you’re making are worthless. YOU can feel worthless.

I’ve just had a blissful and cathartic conversation with a chap who contacted me through a link he found on my YouTube channel offering up my coaching services.

Oh, so you had a convo, big deal.

To me it is.

It is proof that the process works of putting myself out there and getting real life feedback.

It works! 

But of course, it only works when I work. Experiences like these are edifying because you feel the mirror effect of getting feedback.

Most of social media is a private and personal echo chamber. You might not see anything for weeks, months or even years and the beautiful thing in this case is he contacted me. There was no chasing, there was no panic or hurry, it was highly organic and I love that.

The universe is listening.

God is listening.

However you want to put it but ask and you will receive. I want to be a coach and this chap wants to be coached. Willingness on both sides, a fabulous learn experience on both sides, symbiosis on both sides.

Believe in yourself.

Trust yourself.

Put yourself out there.

It works – with effort and time.

Life’s an inside out process. 

You get what you ask for.

You also get what you don’t ask for – if you don’t make it clear how you will accept being treated.

You have to speak up and speak out for yourself.

Believe me when I say, you cannot rely on people’s common sense. Common sense is the biggest myth going.

As patronising as it sounds, you have to spell things out for people.

I have been hectored and pressured and pushed and jabbed at my entire life. I’m not joking. Long before lockdowns, I had isolated myself voluntarily to breathe my own air. When lockdowns happened, I developed a “fuck you” attitude, frankly.

So, when I accept a Twitter message request and the first greeting is “Hello Brother.” I now respond, verbatim, “Would people stop calling me brother!!!” You have to train people.

You may call me fussy, you may see me as reacting ungenerously to a stranger calling me brother but to me it’s just wrong. I get it, they’re trying to endear themselves but we don’t have the same parents, so it’s not brother. It’s not “bro”, it’s not even “Sir”. 

Call me by my name. I do often wonder how language has changed so dramatically, maybe it’s a generational thing, but being referred to as ‘man’ or ‘bruv’ but none of it is English talk or European talk.

With Americanisation rank in discourse, language and understanding have been watered down.

Make things clear to people.

Feel good about demanding standards.

Let people know what is acceptable and unacceptable.

Wowzers, just had a nap as I was wiped out from my gym session. One of things you forget about training is you end up very hungry and quite tired when you get back into it.

Shock to the system!

During said nap, I had a dream and in it I heard the old phrase “how do you end up doing the opposite?”

Even in the dream, I refute this.

I get it. It always looks like I choose the opposite from everyone else. I definitely believe in souls, that intrinsic part of us all that transcends time, that has been around forever, seen everything, experiencing ‘flesh and blood us’ in real time.

I’m an old soul, I know it, I feel it. Countless people have even said it ‘you have wisdom beyond your years, Martin.’, ‘you have an old head on young shoulders’. They feel it too though but are afraid to admit it. 

Now, I joke that there are old and new souls and arseholes but most people don’t think their own way to the decisions they make. They do it because they’re told to, they believe it’s the right thing to do, they want to fit in.

I think things through.

Quite simple really.

And it doesn’t really take much to think independently but it’s a massive hurdle to jump because we all want, on some level, to be liked. Of course, you and I know this is a trap.

Freedom is being able to choose your own path.

Freedom is thinking for yourself.

Freedom is not needing to be liked for every single detail.

This is what independent thought does.

I’m starting to realise just how much pressure I’ve felt from people and how much I’ve inflicted on myself.

My life has felt very tight! Being squeezed, feeling tense much of the time.

I have described much of people’s behaviour as “killing things with questions.” – a relentless need of everyone around me to know each and every single detail of my life in minute.

Another phrase that has gained more significance in recent history, particularly with my ex-boyfriend, is “death by a thousand cuts.” This mode has involved much questioning too but on a more subtle level.

The phrase that particularly griped me was “what’s wrong with that?”. The annoying aspect about this was its coded nature – he wouldn’t just come out and say, honestly, “why don’t you do it like me?”

He really didn’t like me being independent. Even down to when we ate out he got annoyed when I ordered a different drink from him, that I wanted a different starter. Everything uniform! And very restrictive. I realise now that “he” was another prison I put myself into.

Of course, I’m painting a picture, whenever I speak of him, that it was all bad. There were absolutely needs and desires that were fulfilled for me, otherwise I wouldn’t have tried so hard to make it work but, frankly, from the start there was a bluntness and a hardness that had set in within him that was nothing to do with me. It was all very “take it or leave it.”, dismissive and nothing collegiate about it.

He asked many irritating questions but found it almost impossible to talk about anything meaningful and he found it very uncomfortable to take real questions from me so conversation was out of the window very early on.

All this to say, take from life what you will, in other words, take what is useful. Despite my age, on the verge of turning 44, he was my first serious relationship and a very impactful epoch of my life.

Now, no matter what the relationship I go into, whether business or personal or professional, I serve my needs. It is uncomfortable still but I embrace the discomfort more and more. The dragon hides the gold, the Knights of the Round Table, in search of their Holy Grail, entered the forest at the point which they feared the most.

Believe me, the stark irony of associating my ex with danger and fear is not lost on me. I am starting to laugh at it now that I made so many decisions to stay when the obvious choice was to run away.

But we do things for bizarre reasons and, sometimes, we just have to go through the mud to get to the clear, free-flowing stream.

Cherry-pick, my friends, not everything will serve you but you’ll learn to exclude it as you go.