Month: April 2025

I now believe ages brings practicality.

After spending many years trying to do things perfectly, I’ve discovered that a more flexible approach is necessary.

Motivations are one thing, methods quite another.

Generally, I don’t take book recommendations. I had to force myself through the last one I took.

People will suggest various things to me and I end up not doing them because they’re not me.

I hear a lot of people saying that purpose is made not intrinsic. I doubt this very highly. We are not born blank (tabula rasa), we have naturally leanings and proclivities and life is discovering those and going with them.

We have unique callings.

Try things and stop being afraid you’re getting things ‘wrong!’

I’ve been an optimist all my life. It’s been by design and by necessity I realise.

Amidst the confusion growing up, I developed a strategy to see me through – always know that things would turn out well.

It’s been somewhat effective but largely passive.

The strategy has, naturally, been compensatory for, let’s face it, a huge amount of anger and rage.

And I have felt enormous rage over what other people would deem insignificant events.

My blessing and my curse is that I notice and record. I’m recognising patterns of behaviour and thinking to myself “ah ha, here we go again.”

I’m definitely more discerning now and quicker to say no when I trust my instincts but there is still a lot of frustration at so-called wasted time.

We want everything to move fast and smoothly, of course, the path to success is, long, winding and more complicated then we originally expected.

Learner drivers in the UK were always instructed, “Stop! Look. Listen.” It’s a great pattern interrupt. Most of the rage you feel you’ve created, the situation is usually benign or far less serious than you’re making it out to be.

Will this matter in a few years time or even tomorrow?

The answer to this question will SAVE you time and energy and enable you to focus on what really matters.

It’s all a process.

Today feels like a bonkers, wasted day.

I’ve been bingeing YouTube videos. Serious ones. My head’s spinning.

It always feels like there’s something to sort out. There are irritating things that just need dealing with. Not going to lie, it can be a real headache.

But, of course, the bigger headache is not dealing with it and letting it fester. I know I always feel better once the rubbish is put out.

But it doesn’t surprise me, at all, that people feel pointless and small and frustrated. Burnout is easy, purposelessness is rife, and I know I’m not the only one who’s thinking “what the hell is going on!”

I had a title in my mind about reintegrating all the parts of yourself for today’s thought piece, I went for a more persuasive hook. Controlling other people is the most pointless waste of time. And I say this from being single, no children. I actually wonder how people do it. I have nothing but admiration.

We’re living in a world where we need a court ruling to say that women can’t have penises and men can’t have vaginas. Apparently they’re going to block out the sun (or at least that’s the latest distraction the media is going to lob at you!), oh and we’re now allowed to say that cloud seeding is a real thing.

What to do?

We could just say first world problems but it doesn’t really help now, does it?

It’s not actually easy to detach from the noise. Our circuitry is so enthralled to the availability of info, whether it’s true or not.

My mission is to live as good and as well as I can and help other people do the same. I think there’s a degree of nobility in that.

Good night’s sleep.

Tomorrow, another day.

You’ll have guessed, by now, that I am an incredibly inquisitive, analytical man.

The reason I focus strongly on principles, as opposed to rules, is because I want a solid underpinning to my beliefs and, thus, my behaviour. 

When we act, we all make certain assumptions, there is a pragmatic nature to what we do and we need to function on a daily basis but how many of those assumptions go unquestioned?

And the assumptions are multifarious.

Scientific knowledge

The state of human nature

Where we grew up

Who brought us up

Everything is obvious to us individually because it’s the experience we’ve had. It is ‘normal’ but what you find when you talk with people is how different the average person’s upbringing has been. Sometimes it’s radically different (and often opposing) to yours.

Everyone appears to have had some really dramatic thing or things happen to them that you’d never guess from looking at them. There’s no doubt in my mind that everyone is fighting many battles and doesn’t know how to deal with them. 

They plod along or put up with what is actually really traumatic psychological and physical difficulty. We hear about meditation and retreats and living as hermits a lot now because people’s brains are just fried. I’ve felt this myself.

It’s why I’m curious. I want my behaviour based on truthfulness and solidity. I’ve let myself be blown by the wind on many an occasion. It’s been rather baseless and chaotic. Stressful!

And this is all open-ended for me.

Figuring things out……

You must do this!

You’ve got to do that!

Why do you it that way?

It’s all so fragmented!

Arbitrary too.

I’ve been enormously susceptible to hearing things and simply assuming that’s how I have to behave. It’s pulled me in a million different directions is it’s no wonder I’ve lived so chaotically.

I often wonder, even, about the titles of my blog posts, my videos, thinking to myself “I hope this sounds okay.”

It’s ridiculous, I know it, if people are going to pull me apart for such tiny details, come on, not worth it.

I have no problem with inspiration, with learning particular things and adopting them. Absolutely fine.

It’s about what you resonate with. 

Never force. You have a nature, you have preferences. Accept ‘em!

I realise I have been prone to massive ups and downs. 

I’ve tried to disguise it with various ventures, relationships, jobs and hobbies but I’ve spent, in reality, a huge amount of time ignoring the stuff that pisses me off.

If you let yourself fall prey to all the messaging out there, the media, culture war crap going on, you’re going to feel low and you’re going to be confused. None of it adds up – and it’s by design.

I go onto YouTube a lot and get suggested numerous shots of policemen turning up at people’s doors and I simply do not click on any of them. Ignore. File under forget.

It’s a ploy.

People thrive on anger. Resentment too. They will try to sell you the solution in whatever form and get you believing that their problems are all that matter. Of course, it’s because they (whichever body it is) want to sell themselves as the only solution. No one, once they have supreme power, wants to relinquish their influence. It’s a drug.

You have a choice to say Yes or No to any of it.

I always remember Stefan Molyneux saying “To see the farm is to leave it.” We are, after all, referred to as tax livestock (that’s how they see you) and any way you try to placate governments or wars or molehill problems magnified to the size of mountains. 

Don’t treat yourself as a unit.

Learn to sound out the noise that only exists to damage you.

A simple act of self-determination is the most powerful. Learn to think for yourself. Invest in wonderful things. Don’t fall for the weird and wacky habits of those that hate you.

Be Your Own Person. Live Your Own Life.

Ooooh! I’m in an irascible mood today!

Whoever it was that invented the fucking leaf blower needs to be bitch-slapped and prevented from ever inflicting that pointless piece of machinery on us. Get a good hoe and a large sweeping brush!

And the next door neighbours nephews are stomping about in the next flat, reverberating on the partition walls! AGH!

There are days like this. There really are.

A friend invited me out to tea and he caught me mid-flow after my gym training when I couldn’t concentrate on the conversation. I ended up having to lay down in my bed to recover. I’m showered now and dressed for the day but I told him I wasn’t in the mood for going out.

Whatever I do now, I am invested in it and when I need time to myself, I take it – and I take it unapologetically. In the past, I would have felt guilty for stating my case to him honestly, now, I see it as a necessity and doing what I need to do.

There has to be a ‘there’ there means this – you have to do things for the right reasons not because you feel you ‘should’ or ‘must’ or ‘have to!’.

No, I do not argue from authority nor do I take arguments solely from authority.

The reason the ‘relationship’ ended with my ex was because there was no ‘there’ there.

No kissing

No long cuddles

No face-touching

No opportunity to sit in silence

It was all tension and power-playing

And I put ‘relationship’ in quote marks because, fundamentally, there was no conversation or discussion. For him, my way or the highway, that’s not a relationship, that’s a ‘situationship’ (my new, favourite made-up word), for me, something to do and focus on, someone else to make happy, plus it’s a tyranny. 

Still think about him, still wonder if he’s okay, still imagine scenarios unrequited. It seems to be taking a while to get over the experience but I will and I will exorcise all the demons.

Make sure you’re present.

Make sure you’re doing things for the right reasons.

Make sure you’re not just living a life of style over substance.

A big proper walk.

I took a different route on an extended walk yesterday and found a charming bridge over a brook that I never knew existed, a walker’s gate that I was totally unaware of, a totally different aspect of the valley I live in.

Heavenly.

I find it very exciting getting to know where I live, in a really immersive way. I did the same when I lived in the centre of London.

“Getting lost on purpose.” Finding out where the land lays. Those first few years were a dream. “Oh, I live here.”

It’s especially exciting for me exploring where I live now because I grew up here and there are, as I have discovered, an absolute plethora of places right on our doorstep that we never visited.

Never visited! Not once.

So here’s the point. It’s not just a walk. No, no, no. It’s an adventure. I think we’ve lost that sense of adventure. Of setting the intention, of deciding to go for it, of having a marvellous, magical time – getting stuff done. You might call it ticking things off the list but it’s so enjoyable.

Let yourself go for a walk! A massive one! Discover, relish, be free.

Right now, at least.

I seem to require a huge amount of sleep. I had a wild dream last night of apologising to an old man, someone sat next to me being shot at and me running to a car for protection.

Wild!

Life is wild. I think we’re starting to grasp this now.

I’m just riding each day as it comes, doing breathing when the electrical impulses are super strong, getting outdoors as much as possible, eating healthily. After writing this I will go and do my Monday weight training.

I do sometimes, not as often these days, but sometimes wonder where I am and feel slightly like I’m having out of body experiences, looking down on myself. 

I believe it’s starting to realise who I am rather than what I believe is expected of me. It’s a daunting yet exciting position to be in, where I can make my own rules but it is rather disorientating (and why I find my therapy sessions so helpful!).

I’m enjoying being more confident and direct and getting certain tasks done that I’ve been toying with for ages.

Find your own answers to all this stuff.

In fact! Valuing yourself IS the victory.

You have to decide you’re worth something for people to value you, your time, your efforts, your wisdom. And you have those in spades!

Set the intention (what you want).

Create the conditions (how you’ll do it).

And, remember, they have to work for you. What you want and how you do things should be valuable and meaningful to you.

One of the things I loved in my ex was his decisiveness. Unfortunately, he made his decisions not in a spirit of generosity but in a spirit of entitlement and disdain but I realise he was brought briefly into my life to show me that I could make decisions more confidently, married with my unique brand of kindness (and openness actually).

Fairly recently, I had a discovery call for a potential coaching client. We’ve exchange a few e-mails since and the most recent he sent me the report of several sessions he’d had with an employment coach, yet he is still in the same psychological position where he won’t get hired and asked me to give him advice.

Ironically enough, the details in the report mirrored exactly what he and I had discussed. So clearly he thought there was value in the conversation. I did, however, remind him that the money he had paid this person could have been money better spent with me and that I wouldn’t continue giving free advice. 

Some may say this is a wasted opportunity. No. I see it as a firm endorsement of my own value and there are millions and millions of men who need my help on Twitter alone.

I told him he was cheeky. I’m glad I did. I’ve done the free bit, I deserve to get paid. More ironically, he still won’t be able to get the work he wants as people will continue to smell his desperation.

He may see this, he may not.

Honesty. People don’t like it. It forces them to look at themselves. That’s what happened with my ex. It’s partially what has happened with this aforementioned chap.

I am actually really pleased that it’s awoken me to the fact I’m valuable and have genuine wisdom to offer. This is setting the intention. You will never get what you want if you don’t genuinely want it. You must know you deserve it.

Then, you carry on, emboldened, confident, decisive.

It’s no use drifting through life.

I remembered replying to comment a friend had made on a tweet (with the title of this post) and I’ve been storing it away to reflect on at the right time.

I am really starting to let my thoughts and feelings to percolate. It’s, in fact, a form of setting boundaries for myself. I have relentlessly given absolutely everything away not allowing any time or space to really process and breath in the wisdom I’m learning.

Flood, flood, flood!

No peace

No gentility

Throw it all away!

Good Lord, I have been so desperate.

Of course, no one could accuse me of being ungenerous. The work that I do and put out is genuinely offered in the hope you can live a better life, sincerely. It is my calling and I am establishing the best way(s) I can deliver it.

Today, as an example, rather than spread myself too thinly, I took all the sheet music on my piano and put it away in my piano stool, leaving only the piece I have wanted to learn for a long time on the stand. 

Set up your life so you dive deep into what you’re doing was my thinking. It feels decisive, honest – SIMPLE! Distractions are the enemy (and there are many). It feels a little scary to me to cut out the other options of pieces to play yet immensely exciting to face the piece I have wanted to learn for so long and determinedly signal to myself, this is the piece I will learn until it’s done.

Focusing on this one piece will give me peace. I know it. And prove to myself I can complete things.

Presence + Persistence = Progress.

Focus = Fortune. 

Relationships are an exchange. 

You do know this, yes?

A couple of days ago I talked about anger being a submissive position, not in charge, not present. Childish.

So to is needing to be liked. You will do crazy things in the name of not wanting to annoy people, wanting to be accepted (even if you are not behaving honestly).

We live now in a world of polarising positions that people will adopt so they are accepted in polite society. 

Why, oh why, do you want to be accepted by people who hate what you really want to say?

The point of life is not to be liked. Most people are unthinking.

The point of life is to be good. Are you brave enough to stand above the crowd and speak the truth?

Everyone wants a hero.

 It’s a means of wanting change and glory-supporting the figures that appear to do it.

Trump, as we speak, is getting marvellous recognition for his Tariff treatments (and of course great scorn). But, as excellently pointed out by Neil Oliver, is tweeting “Oooops!” at recent bomb attacks some where in the Middle East.

Now, don’t be lazy, do go back over any of my social media and see evidenced my support for Trump in 2016 and for 2020. Don’t write me off as a ‘Never Trumper’ but do, please, observe my change of mind when he blatantly praise the jab, dubbing himself ‘The Father’ thereof.

There is any number of other socio-political figures I could mention here but you know their names. You are starting to get it.

“Every hero becomes a bore at last.” – Emerson

They all reveal their colours. It’s why I don’t vote, “Uhhhh, then you can’t complain, Martin, if you don’t have skin in the game.” I respectfully remind people it’s the right TO vote not HAVE TO vote. If you are mandated to do anything, it’s not a right, it’s a coercion and, besides, there’s no one to vote for. I believe politics is the biggest scam going.

You’re just voting for who’ll steal from you. No matter how good looking your rapist and how big his dick is, you’re going to get shaft and bleed out!

Of course, these people get away with it out of compliance and the belief of the masses that they have your best interests at heart. In his Discworld series, Terry Pratchett reveals the method that ‘gods’ get more powerful the more people believe in them. The politicians need us more than we need them and most of the last few centuries’ talk has been how to limit or expand that power.

Let’s be real, anyone who wants a position of such power over you and your life is either, beyond measure, already corrupted or easily corrupted in not much time.

In being called naive so often for unreasonable opinions, I turn the mirror and say don’t be so naive that you believe you’d be the benevolent dictator. You really wouldn’t.

I know, my friends, it is very dangerous but usually in the morning I will go to my social media.

This AM, it was no different – people trying to prove themselves right, people sharing things they disagree with and being very resentful about it.

Of course, I get angry. We all do.

Channelling your anger into something more positive is infinitely superior.

Show people what they can do.

And I know, that ain’t easy. For thousands of years, we’ve been trying to figure it out.

Deny, no.

Deal with, yes.

People have often called me naive for suggesting this distinction.

Okey doke, then. 

Is your life any better?

Are you achieving your ideal states?

Are you simply wasting time trying to convince others.

Onward Christian soldiers are not worrying about what others are saying of their hometowns. They’re standing up for what they love, are they not?

It’s so overdone talking about addictions to drugs, booze, sex. The biggest addiction is anger, I swear. Unresolved anger is a far greater killer, I am convinced.

So, what ya gonna do?

I went for a very short walk yesterday evening. I was significantly into recording my daily video for IG/FB/Twitter but after a certain point I abandoned it.

Nothing felt right about it, I was waffling. I could have uploaded it but I didn’t want to put the energy out into the world.

When I got home, I rewatched a great podcast with Andrew Gold (Heretics) interviewing the marvellous Katie Hopkins. It’s a great conversation, particularly as it progresses when Ms. H. pushes Andrew more and more to do a better job.

There is a great line that Katie offers part way that is relevant to this post.

“You need to go out into the Wilderness and you need to find what you’re certain about.”

The last few weeks, I’ve honestly felt like I’m tromping through treacle. Things have felt incredibly laborious, I’ve felt enormously pointless and, as I’ve been conditioned to do, beaten myself up. It’s a relentlessly difficult state to break. 

It is these moments that feel the most bleak, the most difficult, the most uncertain. 

However!

It is not the time to give up. 

It is the time to do two things, question the efficacy of feeling so low and question what the way through the darkness is.

I have my therapist.

I have my writing.

I have my videos.

I have my walks.

I have my gym.

All of these are massive positives. I have great things in my life.

I also have a lot of doubts, insecurities and fears.

Those too are positives, there is no road map out in the Wilderness, but they are positives as I develop bravery and persistence.

Giving into the darkness can make things really grim but that’s your thought process not the reality. There is light if you open your ears, your ears, your heart to wonder.

Not all that wander are lost just at a harder part of the path.

Courage my boy, courage. 

Carry on forwards.

Connections, connections, connections.

That’s what it’s really all about.

Whether for money, friendship, education, everything. Good people matter.

Of course, some will come and go. If you want to live life properly, with great people around you, you’ll find the numbers go down. The crowd is unthinking and merely follow what they’re told. It’s hard to form strong bonds with those that have no principles of their own.

The enlightened path is usually a solitary one.

But you meet people on the way who will support you.

Last night, I cried for feeling rejected by my ex. Being so understanding and kind to him, I find it very hard to grasp why he didn’t care about me. It’s a painful reality that I am working on as we speak.

Pepper your life all over with joys and peacefulness.

Salt your being all over with resilience and gratitude.

Find fabulous people and be grateful for them.

Have a fantastic day!

I understand about death by a thousand cuts. I experienced it most pronouncedly with my ex. 

Teeny comments here, little jibes there. Endless picking, relentless testing and chronic belittling.

I’ve been there.

It’s why, especially since Brexit, I’ve been highly skeptical (at best!) about anything political. 

I both laugh and nod in recognition when people say “whatever they say, do the opposite.”

It’s not new of course, there have always been and always will be shadowy figures who use puppets like politicians and high-level CEOs to auger in certain regimes.

It’s up to you to notice the creep on your freedoms, and your abilities, so you can remain as self-determined as you can.

Aren’t you tired of the same old people, those relentlessly shoved down your throat experts, telling you that you can do this and you can’t do that?

Ugh!

Coffee

Sugar

Sex

Watching a bit of Netflix

We get it! You’re the Neo-Puritans and you have to live like a monk, except roided-up to the eyeballs, never taking a rest day from the gym. It’s these types that always end up divorced or with irreparable injuries.

The Pendulum swings to and fro and you never quite know where it’s going to go.

Ugh! 

Slow down, shut up and offity-piss (thank you Katie Hopkins for this phrase!). There was a gentleman big in the fitness industry who yesterday-tweeted that “if you’re drinking coffee, you’re doing drugs daily.” 

Fuck Off! I retorted to myself.

You have to test things, you try them, you see how they make you feel and you progress from there. Honestly, do you really want to live on top of a mountain, devoid of emotion, ‘toxin’-free? No, you don’t.

It’s the same with everything. We cannot achieve perfection in a moveable world. 

That is why I value the ‘good’. It is not perfect, it is case specific and it shifts as time goes on.

Your tastes and needs will change with time as you develop your character.

Smile more, worry less. 

P.S. Sugar is delicious. Eat some, some time. Or not. YOU decide and no one else.

Tomato soup!

Rickety kitchen hobs!

Throwing and smashing plates.

That was last night’s dream.

It’s needless to say I have underlying rage at not being listened to.

Today, it’s a sunny day. This doesn’t always feel the case.

It’s vital to listen and watch and understand what’s going on inside you. It’s only then you can be the master of it.

Short post today.