Month: November 2025

I buy shop made bread. There it is! In a see-through wrapping, with the yellow, adhesive label and everything.

I like it.

I remember from long ago, seeing a Facebook post, yes, I am that old of a generation. The post was from a Scandinavian chap, commenting on bread just like I described above. He said, “that’s not bread!”-“THIS is bread.” And, of course, “THIS” refers to what he’s used to.

Many such conversations go on.

You’re not a real Christian.

You’re not a real truth-seeker.

You’re not far enough down the rabbit hole.

Your theory is half-arsed and you’re talking rubbish.

Judgy, judgy, judgy. And what does it achieve?

How does any of it educate?

To me now, it’s any excuse to talk and not do.

Such bizarre and intricate conversations develop where people say that Catholics are not Christians and Orthodox is more authentic. Stuff I’ve never heard before.

What’s real about your life?

What are you doing?

That’s what counts. 

And believe me, I know I could be doing more than I am, seriously, just being honest and each week, I do a bit more, I’m going through all of it myself but the comparison game, it’s so old.

I’ve grown up around a lot of stress addicts. They like it, they won’t stop it.

“What’s that smell?”

“What’s squeaking/clicking?”

“I can’t figure out what that noise is.”

Absolutely relentless. 

Now, you could take it as an insult that when people come into your home and ask such questions.

It’s not you. Really. They are addicted to NOT resolving things. They won’t drop the issue. When you realise that people are addicted to the drama, it gives you the opportunity to be more direct.

People may call it harsh. I call it guarding your peace of mind.

Perfectionism is far more common than you’d think.

I believe more people have a strong idea of what they’d like to do with their lives but you won’t find a majority of people doing it.

Circumstances are circumstances. People are definitely afraid of branching out, they have dependents, they have financial ties, they have emotional ties.

I wonder that the most frequent question in the world is secretly, “what will they think?”, with perhaps the second most common, “am I allowed to do this?”

Who are we asking permission from? It’s a serious question. Adults feel like children and act in accordance with this, convincing themselves that their dreams and ambitions are ridiculous and unrealistic.

Maybe the latter is so for most. Maybe it is unrealistic but does it mean it’s impossible? 

Are you following the pack?

Are you believing the same self-limiting thoughts?

What if you just got started, no matter how stupid or inexperienced you felt?

I was recently chatting with a sweet chap who said he was a novelist. I asked him what stage of his endeavour he was at. Planning stage, plot lines, thinking about characterisation but no novel written and, in fact, he was talking about two different projects. The timing wasn’t right, he couldn’t devote his energies to it.

I remind myself that I have actually already written two books and I’m on my third. I will admit that I haven’t done anything with the original two. 

Set the ball in motion.

Start sharing what you’ve done.

Write the first line, the first paragraph.

Don’t be one of the people confined to the wasteland of history.

I’m always keeping my eye out for ways to be more present. I now understand the vital importance of steadiness, of responsibility – making your own decisions and acknowledging the small details that add up to a whole heap of joy.

Appreciation, I believe, is a fabulous way of doing this.

I found myself, quite naturally, saying grace before I ate my dinner the other day. It’s now something I will do before each meal. It’s a breath of gratitude before taking in what’s feeding you.

Now, imagine that in your everyday behaviour.

Seeing the plants, the flowers, the trees.

Seeing people smiling, or not, sending out well-wishing thoughts to people.

Chatting with a friend recently, I said “to be selfish is the least selfish thing you can do.” If you’re in a good mood, imagine the effect. If you’re in a bad mood, imagine that effect.

The world needs more joyful, appreciative people. You do it.

Think about it.

When you embark on decorating your house, you strip the walls of their paper and whether you’re going to paper it again or just paint it, you’re going to uncover a lot of mess.

It has to be patched up, made good and even. You wonder why on earth someone would behave so shoddily and irresponsibly. You think, why should I be sorting out someone else’s fuckups? Why do I have to make this better? 

Well, it’s the difference between a passive child or a responsible adult. You have the opportunity to make things better AND you can decide how to build up the new surroundings. You can make yourself dedicated and capable of doing a good job and it makes other people’s behaviour irrelevant.

Make yourself a beautiful mansion, leave the ruins to others.

I see so many prisoners. I deeply desire to send them love and to free them.

They will share tragedy.

They will cry over overflowing rubbish in English rivers (today’s example).

They will tweet that they are broken yet will not go out each day with bin bags and get to work cleaning up the mess.

That’s someone else’s job.

They will share horrors and infectious beliefs in the name of acting out ‘I don’t believe this, observe, ye lowly folk, how very good I am, what fine opinions I hold, unlikely this attention-miner.

They must like Trump still.

They must pose stupidly in photographs.

It’s an impossibility to be peaceful, principled and spread beauty. For most.

But there are a few of us. Pacifists, those that would have got the white handkerchief. We realise, now, that the World Wars were lies, those brave men shunned for not wanting to go vainly to do others’ bidding.

We must live our own lives.

Not blindly and stubbornly support the ‘thing’.

We discern, we decide, we live noble lives full of decency.

We try our very best.

I started blogging a little over five and a half years ago. Naturally the lockdown/jax stuff was ramping up, it would be a month later that I was the last man in the gym and the staff told me the gym was closing.

When I say the number out loud, it seems impossible, but since that time, I have written almost 340,000 words in blog posts. In that time, I have also tweeted out from tens of thousands of words, I’ve written sections of my current book. 

It’s an incredible achievement and, frankly, I don’t acknowledge it that much. 

But in those moments when you think “I can’t do this!”, remember what got you here. You have done stuff and you can do more.

I’ve been at Chatsworth, as usual, today. The Christmas decorations have gone up and they were, uhm, pretty but nothing to get bowled over by!

When you are a follower of fashion, the irony is you look the same as everyone else, you sound the same as every one else, you do the same as everyone else. Very monotonous and original.

What absolutely fascinates me is the mental jiggery-pokery and gymnastics of the staff who have been briefed that they must like the decorations, stand up for them and profess ‘yes, I like modern design, the contemporary.’

You can see they’re desperate to say ‘bit shit aren’t they!’ A little bit blah and sparse looking. I’ve picked the best photo of my trip to give an idea.

Stately homes and grand houses used to be the setters of fashion, not followers. Maybe we won’t have much sway in getting others to abandon fashion but…

We can, in our own lives, show how things might be done.

Go large. Go the extra mile. Be exuberant.

You start thinking for yourself?

You get clear on what you want?

You have sharp focus and dedication?

What’s the common denominator? 

Could it be that you need to stop worrying about what others think of you? You’d be surprised just how much this stops you from really going for what you want in life.

Every day, we’re all figuring out why we’re on this planet, why we’re alive, we’re curious about it, aren’t we!

We each has our place, our background, our hopes and dreams but they are nothing if you don’t risk the disdain of others.

Remember, it’s not much of a risk, when living purposefully is possible!

I went on an epic walk yesterday, four hours in total, covering 12.5 miles and almost 26,000 steps (I take metre long strides, so for most we’re easily talking over 30,000 steps).

It was from my village to the first village I ever lived in, I’d wanted to do this walk for a long time, mission accomplished.

On the edge of the village, there is a showroom, shop and café of a famous, now deceased, cutlery designer called David Mellor, his son is now running the show.

As I was paying for my coffee and brownie, I perchance saw a sign saying they were no longer accepting cash payments because of ‘charges’. What bollocks I thought. I won’t be shopping there again.

There are times that you need to cut off options because the freedom you sacrifice for ‘convenience’ are too great for the soul to endure. 

Most do not think of the consequences, the implications of following the herd, of doing what they’re told.

Understand transaction, understand freedom.

Move your body.

Move your mind.

Move along your path.

Eat well, sleep well, look after yourself.

It’s very basic, really but we’re addicted to rage and complication.

I see it absolutely everywhere.

We seem to equate adventure with violence or anger or confrontation.

My life has never been so clear, the more I am direct, calm and focused on what I want.

People move out of the way when you’re definite. They don’t mess with you as much. I will say, of course, it means a lot of people will vanish. They like the fight and when they see they can’t get anything out of you anymore, they don’t both.

Quality really does trump quantity when you start getting serious about living life to the full.

Focus on improving your mind.

Focus on treating and trusting yourself well.

Focus on improving your strength and resolve.

I rejoined the gym Monday this week, I am going back again today.

Last time I went, I observed a happy behaviour – just going with where my feet took me and doing whichever exercises I wanted, sat at the machines I fancied, not worrying about a ‘programme’, just playing.

We think, somehow, it isn’t adult to play. Of course it is.

Stop taking life so seriously but take living life seriously.

Play.

It’s exhausting noticing every little thing. I actually can’t help it. I’ve experienced many a time where I feel like my head is going to blow!

Picking up litter, seeing people chatting in the street, wondering what they’re talking about. What’s that sound coming from the next flat? Why is that person parked like that?

My best days? Free-flowing, noticing beautiful sunsets, not riding the emotional rollercoaster with every tiny event.

I’m thinking more and more about how perfectionistic I’ve been, where I’d be now if I had given less of a fuck but I have garnered many lessons along the way and when I think of the stages of my life, I do understand I needed to go through them to have the greater resolve and trust in myself that I am gaining.

Purity is a taxing position to put yourself in, it boxes you in and makes a prisoner of you not wanting to put a foot ‘wrong’.

Say Yes.

Say No.

Walk your path as peacefully and as prosperously as you can. We’re all learning each and every day.

I could write anything here, couldn’t I!

99% are sharing their highlight reels. You believe that photo was spontaneous? No! It was version 17 and they agonised over 13-16 for hours.

Most have no clue what they’re doing.

They will have the nights they don’t sleep.

You’re comparing yourself to fantasies and those that are actually getting results…

Well!

You can learn from them.

Bookmark their work.

Figure out what you’re offering.

Go out and sell it.

It is that simple but obviously you’re in your own way. That’s where I come in.

Talk with someone.

Talk with me. 

I’m actually a really great listener and we can get stuff sorted out.

Together.

We love to think of ourselves as so very rational. We’re intelligent, we’re not susceptible to manipulation, we can think for ourselves at all times.

But, if you’re honest, you know there are countless times you could recall where you’ve lost your shit, you’ve gone berserk, those times where, in the aftermath, you’ve thought “wow, that wasn’t me! I can’t believe I did that.”

Animal. We’ve all been there.

Emotions first, intellectual justification later. We are imbued with a sense of morality in everything we do. It’s why when we encounter people so cold and calculating that we are genuinely stopped in our tracks. How could they be so devoid of emotion, we think, that’s inhuman.

Somehow, we’ve been convinced to exclude our feelings, our morality, from the decisions we make as a way to be more civilised. Frightening idea and only pushed by that tiny percentage of people who want to divert your attention or persuade you into damaging situations.

Don’t discount your emotions, they form a vital navigational system and an essential part of your decision making process.

The Gym Group (UK) has an amazing offer on right now for three massively discounted months and none of that joining fee business. It felt a very bold, decisive move.

It’s good to mingle.

It’s good to challenge yourself.

It’s good to get out into the real world.

I’ve isolated myself for the last couple of years, it wasn’t by mistake. It was necessary. I’ve had my gym equipment in my garage that my father and I assembled, I will still use it of course but, truth be told, it is rather lonely.

Who knows who you’ll meet, wherever you go.

You knows what you’ll learn.

Just give things a try!

You’ll be glad.

Have a great week!

I’ve been sweeping up leaves today. It’s a weekly treat that I look forward to as I love things looking beautiful and orderly.

After writing this, I am going to prune a newly planted rose bush because whoever’s done it, hasn’t bothered to plant it properly and it’s been blown over in the heavy Derbyshire winds we’ve been having.

I am learning to gather myself, too, far more than I have ever done. Not second guessing, just getting on with things, it’s most edifying. I’m achieving more, doing everything in a more relaxed and easy way and I’ve never been more productive.

Sleeping better.

Letting things go more easily.

Trusting myself and just getting on with what matters – health, business and relationships wise.

And along this more prosperous way, I am gathering pearls of wisdom, more effective ways of doing things so I can compound my efforts into what’s becoming a productive and joyful life.

Gather everything you’ve done together, apply it, live your best life.

This morning, I thought about a brief yet meaningful comment exchange I had had with him on a video he posted a few years back – when he announced changing the name of his channel. You might have seen him around – he’s just shy of four million subs on his YouTube Channel. He’s also ‘not bad looking’ to put it mildly.

Because I’m a good man, I’ve rummaged around to find the comment exchange, it’s the image on this post. Do you recognise Chris?

I remember, at the time, how humbled I felt by what he had said. I also remember talking with my then therapist who said “why do you need to be ‘one of the guys’?”. I’m an intelligent and thoughtful man, I can understand all the points of view but my mission of late, and ongoing, is to learn to listen to myself.

Dreaming about Chris last night made me realise how reliant I have, indeed, been on other people’s opinions but it does also remind me that things move on, tastes, consumption shifts from one theme to another, when Chris started getting certain guests on the pod I lost interest.

Nothing is lost, only put in the respective proper place. Some things stick, others fade.

You always remain – hopefully with more wisdom and resolve.

Less attached, more grateful.