Month: September 2023

I arranged removal men for my flat move yesterday, got £150 off just by asking.

People will write things and just expect you to accept them – no, challenge things that are patently false.

I was told that I had to collect keys for my new property at an inconvenient place, I asked for other options, now the keys are being brought to me.

Each and everyone of us wants things our way, I’m happy to admit it and most of the time I get what I want, sometimes I don’t.

If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

Stand up for yourself.

I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to convince people of things.

Guess what works better?

Letting people know your own preferences, telling them yes or no according to your principles, and when you can’t do this peacefully with people, time to move on.

The truth is, most people don’t want discussion, they just want to be right but don’t make it your business.

People rarely change their opinions, most don’t know how, be with people you can be yourself with.

I’ve had to make lots of telephone calls and answer e-mails today. When doing anything significant, the likelihood is you’re going to be dealing with other people and….

…They don’t want what you want as much as you do.

So, we are patient – not in terms of time – but in terms of approach.

Anger solves nothing, shouting down the phone gets you nowhere, anger separates, patience elevates.

Also remember, do you want to be the person that feels the anger you direct at others. Are you so perfect? Are any of us?

With the loss of religion in our society, we have lost a great trait that goes with patience and that is humility, dignity too and let’s throw in grace for good measure.

You and I both know that violence, aggression, destruction never actually work in the end. Again, why patience is important. You, just like I, want to do everything all in the one go and immediately.

Neh!

Be productive, be effective, be efficient but do it in the spirit of love.

Learn to focus on get the job done, not how long it’s going to take. Human beings are notoriously bad at estimating how long things are going to take. 

If you’re going to achieve something in 6 months or 6 years, it really doesn’t matter. The only thing that counts is doing the work each day and having your goal in mind.

Stop wasting your time on things you can’t change and that don’t matter.

And take action.

Action is what makes the difference. When I started writing my blog posts, which, I’ll be honest, was mostly for me to get thoughts straight in my head, I didn’t plan on getting to a particular word count but when you’re consistent, incredible things do happen.

Celebrate wins, big and small, and realise you can achieve great things when you believe you can and you do them to be the person that walks the walk rather than just talk the talk.

Most social media is pontificating, expressing opinions but not really providing solutions and strategies to make life better.

Once you realise you can be consistent and produce great results in one area, the skills to do so are transferrable to other pursuits…

Making money

Eating better

Getting fitter

Improving relationships

Discarding negativity

Wake up, get up, move up. Believe you can and do it.

And for goodness sake, stop blaming people for things they have no control over.

Take nepotism. There’s an English singer called Sophie Ellis-Bexter, I really enjoy listening to her music, she’s evolved over the years. She is the daughter of a famous TV presenter of the past, Janet Ellis (one of the hosts of Blue Peter – a big TV programme in the UK).

Now, people try to mask their jealously by using deflection tactics saying “Oh, Sophie’s not talented, she’s just got a famous mum.” I worked with someone who was incredibly critical of Sophie. Let’s call this person Agnes (I won’t say her real name). Agnes insisted that Sophie couldn’t sing. Truthfully, Agnes was morbidly obese and alleges she was turned down for the lead role in Hairspray when it was playing in the West End.

Maybe there’s true in the whole nepotism thing but even if you are resentful of other peoples’ success regardless of the reason, how is it improving your life?

Really!

The world is going to world.

People are going to people.

Outcomes of others will outcome.

And they will do it irrespective of you. It’s just a fact, live with it

Make your own life better.

Do stuff today and every day that makes you freer and more valuable.

Get healthy.

Smile and laugh more.

Do good shit, accept the wins and the losses.

You’re a hypocrite, you’ll hear.

You’re bigoted, you’ll hear.

You’re racist, you’ll hear.

No one likes you, you’ll hear.

Life throws shit at you to see what sticks. 

Always remember, when people say things, a) they are probably talking about themselves and b) they might be true or false.

You are never going to please everybody and nor should you.

Principles will divide people. Boundaries, by their very nature, will divide people. You get to choose how to live your life, you get to choose who you do and don’t spend time with.

Each one of us has great and terrible traits within us.

At first, accept where you are.

At first, accept what’ve you done.

At first, accept you can’t change the past.

Most of the time you waste is wishing things could be different. They can’t, they won’t, accept it.

And stop striving all the time for perfection. Abandon it.

Take steps, do it daily, do things that make you feel good about yourself, that make you accomplished, build consistency and, guess what……

Life gets better.

Of course now we have new technologies. Everything moves on. Nothing is static, we’re always moving (either forward or behind).

Many years ago, I went to Poland do a series of incredibly transformational entrepreneurial seminars and one of my teachers said something that always stuck with me.

“Where is the greatest concentration of genius?”

Any ideas? No? Graveyards.

We each in us have something to offer.

That’s why I blog. It helps me make sense of things but, who knows, it could also be useful to one person, to a few, to many?!

We doubt the importance of what we have to share. It’s why I like to learn from successful people too. My boyfriend is very successful to me. Solid work ethic, wise, calm, generous, very impressive and imposing. DECISIVE!

There are other teachers too. The one who made the quote above has had a profound effect on me. Like my boyfriend, he defined his boundaries and embodied them.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you should or shouldn’t share what you’ve learned in life – do!

There is no perfect system. There, I said it.

Capitalism is by far and away the best we have come up with, everything else ends in starvation and genocide. So when you encounter leftists who say that Capitalism is unjust just assume they want to steal more from you and give it to unproductive people.

Here’s the rub. Everyone wants a perfect system to sort out all their problems and make their lives easier.

Dream on.

Whatever you do that’s meaningful, you’re going to encounter challenges, irritations, struggles. You have to learn to breathe and communicate through them.

There is never going to be a system that eliminates work, learning and hardship. 

Adopt the mentality that personality responsibility and accomplishment are the rewards for your efforts.

Find people who support you and are able to educate you when you dive into action.

People get into such a whizz about things they enjoy and don’t enjoy.

We feel bad for liking particular things, we judge ourselves for thinking we should and shouldn’t do things.

I had a mental shift when I heard (can’t remember who) saying stop focusing on improving your weaknesses and start investing in your strengths.

Every single one of us is unique.

We each of us has a unique combination of likes, dislikes, tastes and preferences. All good.

Am I talking about penchants for violence or for drugs, or for alcohol? No, obviously not. I’m talking about those things that you did from when you were a child an start you still enjoy today.

Art

Music

Sports

Walking

Photography

Etc. Etc. You get the idea.

Stop trying to mould yourself into something you’re not. There are things that are just irritating and sometimes you have to deal with them. Make the focus what you love, get stronger at the things you enjoy and the rest of life sorts itself out.

You literally have the world at your fingertips!

In so many videos, you’ll see people asking stupid questions – what piece of music is this? There’s an app for that. Where was this video shot – they don’t look in the description.

People want stuff done for them, that’s why governments/the state expand. We appear to have lost the ability to think and act independently. Am I allowed to do that, you’ll hear.

Success comes with action.

Success comes with confidence.

Do something brave today.

Do you feel good when you’re angry?

If you answered yes, you’re deluding yourself.

Notice what makes ‘news’. War. War, fighting, aggression, it’s the main thing I disagree with Andrew Tate on, who says to have pain for breakfast.

Neh, not getting on board with that. Have gratitude for breakfast, it makes you more present.

The truth is, when you’re fighting, who or what are you fighting against? Reality usually.

I am not a hippie-type saying make love not war but I am saying that there is a difference between competition and aggression. Everyone losses with the latter and everyone benefits from the former. Competition means the most gifted rise to the top and create benefits for all (innovation, employment, wealth, freedom, etc.) whereas aggression means the tyrannical rise to the top (destruction, death, poverty, imprisonment).

Last night, my boyfriend surprise visited me by driving over to my neighbourhood after he had a work do. Magical! Would I have enjoyed it if I were stressed or angry or ungrateful? No. I would not have.

In being peaceful, I could appreciate him, I could listen to him, I could go with the flow and have, as we both did, a sweet, tender and happy time.

We know that war never works in the end.

The choice is yours.

Is it just me or have you noticed that people seem to have lost the ability to ‘human’? You know, to get stuff done, to be efficient, to make sense.

No one can spell anymore.

They don’t know how to walk around.

People mistake roads for pavements.

Come on people, how’s about some cooperation here?!

I’ll be brutally honest, one of the reasons I’m leaving London is because people are so weird here now. We went from slick and stylish twenty years ago to fat and ignorant today.

Bring back colourful.

Bring back respectful.

Everything’s so loud.

Of course I’m moving, positively, for beautiful countryside, the ability to grow my own food, to be around normal people.

Learn to listen.

Learn to make connections.

Learn to get things done!

Being stoical is a bitch!

Are you one of those people who live with millions of regrets? Wishing you could you change the past? Fuck that shit!

We’ve all done stuff that, in hindsight, we might not repeat again.

We’ve also wished to have been a different person in the past.

Again, fuck that.

Life is a series of lessons and adaptations – and many of them.

Yes, we try to rewrite history or try to rewind our minds but obviously it’s a waste of time.

The only way to banish regret is to accept that who you were at the time of any decision was based entirely and only on what you knew then and the experience you were used to. That’s it.

You didn’t know then what you know now because you hadn’t been through it yet. 

YES OR YES?????

And there’s a lesson in everything, there is. If you want to find it of course. Here’s a kicker – a lot of people don’t. Much easier to blame someone or something else than tale the responsibility.

Regret makes you a victim.

Regret makes you childish.

Regret stunts your growth.

Let go.

Accept what’s happened, it’s a part of you and who you are. You’ll never erase it.

Grow up, find the positives and discard what doesn’t serve you.

Be a man and

FRANKLY!

Admit that you secretly enjoyed the ride!

Nor is life easy.

However, you can find people you feel safe with.

I’m not here to tell you how to do that other than being open to the possibility.

There are things that terrify, frustrate and irritate us. It’s simply going to happen. I certainly believe in reaching the light at the other end of the tunnel.

All you can do is try to find solutions. Look for answers, trust yourself and when you can support others do it.

Yep, I had that day yesterday. Fucking horrible!

Everything was just low-level annoying. Text messages I received, relationship dynamics, people fretting and panicking.

Ugh!

I’m very hard on myself. 

It used to be in a perfectionistic way now it’s trying to solve everything at once.

Can’t be done.

I’ve decided that, no matter what, I am going to have a fantastic day today. I am going to enjoy the day, I am going to pepper my life with happiness and smiling and good things.

Yes. We like the sound of that.

If you’re feeling irritated the likelihood is you don’t feel like standing up for yourself today. You feel you have to fall in with other people. You feel like you don’t get to choose for yourself.

Drop that please.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, it is your life and you deserve to feel accomplished every day. Decide for yourself and get on with it.

You will have a great day today. I know it!

Love is not forever doing cartwheels.

Love is learning to say no.

Love is connection.

Love is peaceful.

Love can be lonely.

Love is living in reality.

Love is the difference between right and wrong.

Love is protecting the ones you love and looking out for them.

I was going to wait until I had hit a certain number of words that I’d written blogging but I’m going to do it now.

I am just shy of 230,000 words and here are a few things I’ve learned.

You are more capable than you realise.

Patience truly is a virtue.

Most metrics are actually meaningless.

Do things for the sake of simply doing them.

Writers think they have nothing to write about. It’s not true. There are thoughts perpetually going through your head, it’s worth making sense and order of them.

The amount of time it takes to get something done is far less important than immersing yourself in just doing it.

People quote stats that, let’s face it, are impossible to prove to manipulate you and make you believe that life is different or more complicated than it really is.

Do the things you enjoy, be focused in them, and good things will happen.

I am not of the school to focus on your weaknesses. There are things you are drawn to and investing your time and energy in them is why you are on this planet.

Start living life more peacefully and more joyfully.

Really, there have never been excuses but especially now, you honestly can’t say there aren’t opportunities for you to better yourself.

Feel down in the dumps, that’s your problem.

Feel lost? That’s your problem.

Feel useless, yep, that’s your problem too.

There are people that have done stuff that can help you do great stuff too.

There’s this amazing thing called the Internet.

Feel afraid? Fine, never let it stop you.

Get out there, my son.

“Are you doing something with chickens?”

A lady I chat with at my local supermarket asked me this yesterday. I had three chickens in my trolley as I decided to buy some and put them in the freeze – I have roast chicken every Sunday, I’m English like that.

Observe, when most people ask questions, they are not interested in the answer.

Huh, Martin? Vot do you meeeean?

People don’t want to be left out, so what do they do, they ask silly questions to be included. They can’t let you have one over on them. 

Especially in cities now, there is no privacy. People interfere, they are rude, they are overly nosy, they lack true curiosity.

Learn to establish what matters.

Oh, and leave me the fuck alone.