OH! YOU CAN’T DO *THAT*

In my time, I’ve pondered the idea of permission a lot.

Always asking permission

Not wanting to bother people

Not wanting to ‘get in the way’

They’ve actually been huge, recurring themes and, I have to admit, ridiculous sources of stress.

You’ll hear people say “Oh! You can’t do that” and variants of it, including the oft used “what gives YOU the right?”

Another persistent theme I observe is those that make demands are the least likely to discuss or negotiate anything (and the most fucking annoying!).

I believe there are inherited ideas in all of us that ‘the powers that be’ or the ‘they’ people, the overlords, the cabal, the new world order, whatever you call them, that the overarching spectre wants us SMALLER. We, somehow, want to tow the line, not draw attention to ourselves, that we want to be ‘good, little boys and girls.’

Stay in your lane.

Who do you think YOU are?

Who made you judge and jury?

I remember a teacher of mine telling me not to be so ‘self-satisfied’ when I had done well in a piece of work.

You’ve heard it all too, just like me.

Sometimes, certain things you want to say just seem really scary. Pushing the send button on that e-mail letting someone know your feelings can feel unimaginably daunting but regardless…

Give yourself the permission.

I’ve avoided a lot of strengthening decisions because I didn’t want to land someone else in ‘trouble’ or discomfort. You can’t live that way because you’ll live your own life. You have to leave other peoples’ lives to themselves.

If it’s scary, that’s normally a great sign to jump in!

So, my friend, you CAN do that!