Okay, I’m going to do it!
I’m going to quote Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City.
“I’m in this relationship too! I am a person in this relationship! Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me here?”
I am not asking for violins, I am not asking for you to pity or feel sorry for me, I’m really not but this is what the majority of my relationships have been like. Friends, intimate, I’ve let it happen. It seemed to me, for the longest time, that please people was easier than saying No and standing up for myself.
Of course, you can’t hold the ball under water forever. Eventually it will bob up right back at ya and you’ll feel the effects.
That’s where I am right now.
Less than two and a half months ago, I split with my ex and at the moment, I am having rather dark feels of dread about the situation. I’m getting into bed, I wonder if I’ll ever stop thinking about him and plenty of other things that have happened.
I get angry, I get upset, I feel irritated and pissed off. It passes and I fall asleep, eventually. It’s a process and whether it’s happened days, weeks, months or years ago, you need to release the ghosts. You have to learn the lessons.
You have to take the responsibility that you, in fact, made every step, made every decision and own the fact.
You feel what you feel, you’re in the situation you’re in. You can try and deny or ignore it but see how well that goes.
You know how that goes!
Make this year the year to face it.
You exist.
You’re alive.
You can make things better.