Life’s an inside out process.
You get what you ask for.
You also get what you don’t ask for – if you don’t make it clear how you will accept being treated.
You have to speak up and speak out for yourself.
Believe me when I say, you cannot rely on people’s common sense. Common sense is the biggest myth going.
As patronising as it sounds, you have to spell things out for people.
I have been hectored and pressured and pushed and jabbed at my entire life. I’m not joking. Long before lockdowns, I had isolated myself voluntarily to breathe my own air. When lockdowns happened, I developed a “fuck you” attitude, frankly.
So, when I accept a Twitter message request and the first greeting is “Hello Brother.” I now respond, verbatim, “Would people stop calling me brother!!!” You have to train people.
You may call me fussy, you may see me as reacting ungenerously to a stranger calling me brother but to me it’s just wrong. I get it, they’re trying to endear themselves but we don’t have the same parents, so it’s not brother. It’s not “bro”, it’s not even “Sir”.
Call me by my name. I do often wonder how language has changed so dramatically, maybe it’s a generational thing, but being referred to as ‘man’ or ‘bruv’ but none of it is English talk or European talk.
With Americanisation rank in discourse, language and understanding have been watered down.
Make things clear to people.
Feel good about demanding standards.
Let people know what is acceptable and unacceptable.