And denying this affects everybody.
If I cause myself harm by doing things I know are not my way, that creates another prisoner in the world. Bad.
I’ve just finished a second call with a prospective sales coach and I believe it’s the highest concentration of me saying “No” ever. I’m guessing at least 50 times.
It seems what everyone wants is a world where saying yes to them is people saying yes to themselves simultaneously. This is a somewhat long-winded way of saying that people want their own way but it’s slightly different.
If you have any wisdom, or simply enough honesty, we can admit that a lot of the time a yes to others is a no to ourselves. I know this enormously as having tried to please everyone but myself.
The Yes-Yes proposition I made above is, I believe, predicated on the belief that ‘the way’ one person does things will suit everyone and, of course, it won’t. There are many nuanced ways, principles can be the same but methods will vary.
The really curious thing about the end of today’s conversation was him asking me “so what now” and even though I described the exact way in which he and I had met, he met it with skepticism and asked “but will that work.”. I told him, yes, that would it would work because it’s the exact way we’ve done thing. I went on to ask him if he doubted his method somewhat.
Of course, the reality is he was expecting me to run to the back of the room, sign up, take out the loan and start working with him and his ‘guarantee’. I think my ‘no’-ness shocked him, he certainly behaved shocked.
He did even ask “Martin, is you saying no to me also saying no to yourself?”. I replied in the non-affirmative
No, me saying no to others is definitely saying yes to myself. I’ve learned this over decades, not just years. I understand his position. I endorse my own. It gets my juices flowing, as I related to him.
Trust the process. It might take longer but the accomplishment and joy will be all the greater for the joy and wisdom you garner in your life, which, I must add, makes things better for EVERYONE!
Yes-Yes, not always.
Win-Win, definitely!