It’s normal.
You’ve set out on a totally proactive path. It’s of you, for you and by you. You’re becoming a real adult and you’re doing the work you’ve been avoiding, sometimes for years, decades.
Overwhelm, normal.
Confusion, normal.
Anger, surprisingly normal!
Regret too.
You are where you are. Always remember that, remind yourself frequently. The events of your past are water under the bridge. The point of doing anything meaningful, that brings you joy, is to bring you as much as possible into the present, that you’re enjoying the day to day.
It’s why I hold, and always will, that it’s so helpful to have someone objective to talk with. Not everyone will take it up but I’ve witnessed unexpected people start to ask for help and receive it and it’s transformed them. It’s certainly opened my eyes to things I didn’t even realise I needed to sort.
Living purposefully is a gift you can keep opening but, first, you must unlock yourself and everything you’ve been ignoring. Let the light in.