If what people say is anything to go by, most live life assuming it’s someone else’s fault.
For the last few weeks, I have been really exploring the idea that no matter how much people complain about the various events, responsibilities and relationships they have, there is always one or many ways that they are benefitting.
Otherwise, why would they put themselves in such situations? You probably sense, and you’d be correct, that I have observed and experienced this A LOT in people and, for a very long time, tolerated it.
We are all subject to our conditioning. Strengthening yourself is not a neat, linear process. Far from it, it is a messy process. My gift (and honestly I don’t know where it comes from) is observation and, ultimately, calling bullshit on dysfunctional behaviour.
It’s why I currently have no friends. In the past, I have been heavily criticised for being honest – not because honesty is wrong but because people don’t want to hear the truth. Hardly anybody does. I just know that my life has immeasurably improved from the stuff I initially didn’t want to admit to myself.
Years ago, there was a meme that many-a-time did the rounds on Facebook saying “The Truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.” – true but, frankly, from what I’ve seen, I’d state it a lot more vociferously!
The Truth will set you free but first it will annihilate your ego so brutally you won’t know where you are!
The Truth hurts at first because you finally realise it’s always been your responsibility, your choice and your decision to behave the way you have. It’s too much for most to bear. So they remain stuck.
“I really like this friend BUT……” Nope, not allowed.
“I like spending time with him BUT HE….” Nope, not allowed.
“She’s really fun BUT SHE….” Nope, not allowed.
Try to change other people and find out how much fun that is! You cannot endlessly pull at threads and expect the garment to stay intact.
Tomorrow, we go into my birth month and my rationale is clear.
Accept people as they are, WITHOUT COMPLAINT or don’t spend time with them. I only want solutions and nice things.
Please call me brutal, harsh, naive, selfish, childish, unreasonable – I’ve heard these all before and many more – all from the mouths of people who spend vast swathes of time criticising so-called friends.
Far easier it is to think that others should change or mentally beat them up than face the reality that you always have a choice to sort yourself out. Escape the victim mentality.
Easy? No.
Worth it (as the adult thing to do)? Most Definitely!