Your life is always shifting, everyone’s is. It’s why things can seem so fucking confusing!
It’s all part of the process.
I often think I’m a totally crazy bitch! I do things that I reflect on in the aftermath,
“Martin, you are so impulse!”
Truth is though, an enormous part of my conditioning is feeling guilty, as a result of living most my life as a people-pleaser and peacemaker, neglecting my own needs. When I step out boldly, which I am making more common, these feels still surface.
An important lesson is to stop justifying yourself all the time. I struggle enormously with this, with time I know it will get better.
Observe other peoples’ behaviour, how often do they ask permission? That’s right, very little. Give people a dose of their own medicine, that’s the stage I’m at now.
Extrapolate out the logical conclusion of their thinking for them – show them what they’re doing, hold a mirror up to them. You’ll find they don’t like that very much, usually because they want their own way, all the time. I don’t blame such behaviour, people are so indoctrinated and conditioned.
BUT!
Don’t let it make your life smaller, make your life bigger and better. It may always seem like chaos but that’s because you’re expanding (in a good way, don’t get lumpy and lard-arsed!) and you’re exposing yourself to new ways of being.
It’s good.
It’s great, actually.
But it’s unfamiliar – more good, more great!