In fact! Valuing yourself IS the victory.
You have to decide you’re worth something for people to value you, your time, your efforts, your wisdom. And you have those in spades!
Set the intention (what you want).
Create the conditions (how you’ll do it).
And, remember, they have to work for you. What you want and how you do things should be valuable and meaningful to you.
One of the things I loved in my ex was his decisiveness. Unfortunately, he made his decisions not in a spirit of generosity but in a spirit of entitlement and disdain but I realise he was brought briefly into my life to show me that I could make decisions more confidently, married with my unique brand of kindness (and openness actually).
Fairly recently, I had a discovery call for a potential coaching client. We’ve exchange a few e-mails since and the most recent he sent me the report of several sessions he’d had with an employment coach, yet he is still in the same psychological position where he won’t get hired and asked me to give him advice.
Ironically enough, the details in the report mirrored exactly what he and I had discussed. So clearly he thought there was value in the conversation. I did, however, remind him that the money he had paid this person could have been money better spent with me and that I wouldn’t continue giving free advice.
Some may say this is a wasted opportunity. No. I see it as a firm endorsement of my own value and there are millions and millions of men who need my help on Twitter alone.
I told him he was cheeky. I’m glad I did. I’ve done the free bit, I deserve to get paid. More ironically, he still won’t be able to get the work he wants as people will continue to smell his desperation.
He may see this, he may not.
Honesty. People don’t like it. It forces them to look at themselves. That’s what happened with my ex. It’s partially what has happened with this aforementioned chap.
I am actually really pleased that it’s awoken me to the fact I’m valuable and have genuine wisdom to offer. This is setting the intention. You will never get what you want if you don’t genuinely want it. You must know you deserve it.
Then, you carry on, emboldened, confident, decisive.