We don’t like ourselves. It’s blatantly obvious to me.
Listen to how people talk about themselves.
“I was so naive.”
“I’m ashamed of myself for believing that.”
“You should cringe at your past behaviour.”
We don’t forgive ourselves. (Is there anything to forgive!)
We don’t value ourselves enough.
Remember, we are born into such established, powerful and rigorous paradigms. Free thought and independence are seen as threats and are quashed from the earliest age – think of how school and university are organised. Are these places of free expression? Are they actually ‘liberal’ as they are painted.
No! Of course they’re not. It might not be a thing elsewhere but here in the UK we have what are known as Preparatory Schools, we have TV programmes. The clues are in the names and they are, for the most part, strong, inflexible and indoctrinating.
Using language like naive when you could just as reasonably say ‘unaware’, ‘influenced’, ‘at a different stage’, is damaging.
Oh but Martin, you must believe in regret?! No, I don’t. Everything that’s happened has been useful AND I don’t hate myself anywhere near to the degree I used to. That’s the problem.
Stop hating yourself.
Start finding the solutions.