There are lots of things I wonder about.
I was in the shop the other day and I was looking at mushrooms. A newish member of staff started asking me a million and one questions and it was so laborious that I just walked off after telling her I didn’t have to explain myself.
Nothing feels normal.
Things seem inverted.
People vanish mid-sentence from conversations, it’s bizarre.
And I say this being gay. No one knows why some men are gay (by the way, I never believed the 1 in 10 men stat. I remember being very confused when I first heard it. Nah! Can’t possibly be that many.)
Though, you’d be surprised just how many men are curious by it. It’s happened many times before that straight men absolutely love me flirting them and I’ve had very little backlash. Handful of criticism and threatening behaviour.
And people have many theories about what causes it.
Parasites (yes, really!).
It’s the Devil’s work.
Slightly lower levels of testosterone in the uterus.
Mother Nature’s way of experimenting (lots of artists/creatives, etc.)
Even to me, doesn’t make sense that a bloke is attracted to a bloke but there it is. I find it fascinating and, whatever anyone says, it is rather fabulous and exotic.
When I came out at school, all the ‘lads’ were asking if I fancied them (LOVING it!) and, funnily enough, the blowback was from their female friends/girlfriends.
A big theme for me is establishing what I should be questioning. Are there things that don’t require or actually have answers? I dunno. What I do know is curiosity is a good thing, controversial yes, challenging yes, but essential. Curiosity drives innovation and innovation creates freedom.
I may be single but I have my desires and it’s up to me what I do with them. The same is true for you and your circumstances.