’Twas my birthday yesterday.
You’ll know me to be a reflective man at the best of times, over the last few days it’s been heightened with the passing from my early-40s to my mid-40s. I’m not saying this, by the way, in a mournful way.
I realise I have many scripts running concurrently in my head, my heart too, it’s exhausting. There’s gold in it though.
I have a lot to sort out, it might take some time I realise but that’s something I’m learning to accept.
Make money
Sort out relationships
Pondering over where I am/should be living
It’s all happening up there.
In many ways I’ve been lucky, with major needs met. In other ways, there isn’t a sense of urgency or drive.
It isn’t a straight path. It’s a long, winding and oftentimes messy one. I know there’s a lot of stuff to drop along the way – chiefly the need to know all the answers, to get everything ‘right’.
There’s so much crap to be distracted by, I know that saying “no” more is a way to sound out the hyper-skepticism.
We are here to live! To be excited, to be productive, to laugh, eat great food, have sex, make meaningful connections..
It’s all available. It is.
Going into age 44, try stuff and be not afraid to get it wrong. Get things done.