Month: June 2026

If you are genuinely looking for the truth, you will meet some strange people, you’ll encounter the darker side of life.

I’m fast realising that I will feel giddy and dizzy, things won’t make sense, increasingly you’ll feel rudderless like there’s nothing to hold onto.

As part of the bate server I joined recently, I’ve attended a handful of meditation sessions (and they are very enjoyable) and it’s not just in that context, there is a pervasive belief that the purpose of meditation is to stop thinking but we can’t do that. Thoughts happen anyway, just as freely as breathing.

Thinking is not the problem (it’s what distinguishes us as a species), believing destructive thoughts is. The goal is focus.

We are what we repeatedly think and what we repeatedly do.

Thoughts create feelings, feelings create results and results determine the quality of your life.

And this is why truth seeking is so intense because we are reprogramming ourselves, we’ve made the decision to do so and we’re doing it voluntarily regardless of ridicule or outcome. It’s all a process.

Advice is fine – asking for help is fine.

You can hear something and be curious about it.

I’m in a constant state of experimentation to see what works and it’s fascinating.

Everyone has their opinions, even if they say they don’t.

They have some kind of plan or worldview and they stick to it. Nothing much shifts and, to be honest, they generally don’t like it if you do something different.

In recent months, as I concluded yesterday, I’ve been exploring the materialist mindset. Having joined a masturbation community,

…I can’t deny it, I am a very sexual person, I have very powerful sexual instincts and fantasies, I rather enjoy it! Seeing a hot builder or scaffolder and imagining what he and I would do together, woof!…

I’ve been observing the “I’m just my cock/penis/dong/dick” mentality and it’s very arousing but, for me, it excludes the spiritual aspect of life. We don’t just have physical instincts, we have value and principle instincts too – and creative ones. I don’t want a life devoid of those but I don’t deny the desirous drives in us either. Try things, scratch the itch, that’s all I’m really doing.

We’re different but similar.

We want togetherness with respect.

We want freedom but not chaos or violence.

You have to find your own balance, follow your own talents and gifts, no one can actually tell you what’s right for you. You have to feel it yourself and trust it.

Question is, do you trust yourself?

I was having a real conversation with my good friend Patrick yesterday. Tears involved, openness, honesty, simplicity. It was very moving for me.

He’s a man full of compassion and wisdom and useful advice.

One thing in particular though, he reminded me of, that I had forgotten, ‘how would things be if they were easy?’. I recalled Tim Ferriss saying the same thing.

You are what you tell yourself and, when you think about it for even a moment, if you’re telling yourself how difficult something is, ain’t gonna be easy, is it and you won’t be inclined to get the job done.

My daily walk is non-negotiable.

My gym training is non-negotiable.

Getting to bed and up early is non-negotiable.

Treat everything in your life as essential and uplifting and remember, you’re the programmer of your software and your hardware.

Bad inputs = bad outcomes.

Good inputs = good outcomes.

Thank you, Pat. 

The people I am drawn to are definitely doers but they are also people who, in their own ways, want to help others.

Whether it’s in business or helping them feel better about themselves, I like good people, I believe we all do but don’t necessarily pay attention to it as much as we should.

No two people are ever going to agree on everything. That’s not the point. The point is that we can have different preferences and perspectives but that we share similarities – our humanity, our goodness, our willingness – traits underpin personality.

We’re all making choices and we each have our unique niche. Look for honesty, integrity and activity in people.

Most people are not doers.

I certainly want to do more.

But understand, I am here to help.

They want you stressed.

They want you angry.

They want you baying for blood and violence.

They want you in a panic, ready to buy ‘their’ thing – not that this is anti-commercial rant. I’ve watched masses of podcasters who rail against consumer-capitalism whilst broadcasting in £100 t-shirts hopefully hawking their £1/2/3000+ courses at you – that maybe 10% of people will read and far fewer will actually implement.

Earlier this morning, I saw someone refer to an artist doing creativity in a laboratory rather than a studio. They want you following fashions, trying to sound so especially clever when all they come across as is a twat. Putting currency signs AFTER numbers, it’s so ugly!

Remember that people want fame/recognition/popularity above principle and we know this by the obvious crap they keep pushing. You’re rarely dealing with someone who knows their values and practices them.

And the reason I’m telling you this is to help improve your focus, just as I am trying to improve mine. It’s a crazily fast world these days, everything so frenetic, all so reactive. Remembering it’s your life, at your pace, so you can do your best work is the key to your freedom.

I do love where I live. Not only is it in the village I spent the majority of my childhood in but my little flat has a wonderful view of the river, nature in its abundance is right on my doorstep. It’s wonderful. I have, in fact, had a revival of my gratitude for it recently.

It’s important to notice. Never take things for granted. We have a duty as men to acknowledge the great things in our lives, how they came to be and how we can make decisions in the future that benefit ourselves and others.

Now, I have always considered myself lucky, great things have happened for me but I am very quick to ignore that I have good instincts. I know when the time’s ‘right’.

The fact that I am living in my beautiful flat is something of a miracle. That it came to the market is wonderful, that I have no one living beneath or above me is fabulous but, the truth is, the fact I was able to sell my flat in London and buy this place for £100,000 less (with approaching three times the amount of space) really shows the stars do align for you when you let them.

Had I have tried to sell my flat in London even months later might not have garnered the same amount I took home, it is possible it might not have sold at all. My parents, as it happens, have struggled to sell their place in the same building at a MASSIVELY reduced price.

I repeat, it is, in fact, a miracle. Because I am obsessed with the UK property site ‘Rightmove’, I noticed that the buyer for my London flat tried to put it back on the market less than two years after buying it. I’ve just checked now and she appears to have sold for the same price she bought it for. Lucky.

Never forget the great things you have.

Look after them, protect them, make ‘em beautiful.

If you’re a curious bod like me, you’ll end up exploring down many an avenue, you’ll uncover rabbit holes that others don’t see, you’ll have a genuine thirst for answers and wisdom and truth.

Recently, I’ve encountered a small cohort of practical, gay men who aren’t into the alphabet bollocks, who are open about the fact they enjoy wanking and are building communities for likeminded chaps. All very stimulating and arousing too. I’ve found my foray most refreshing but it’s been something of a distraction.

Inevitably, people will fall into various scrapes of cognitive dissonance. 

The ‘marriage’ issue being one. I’m gay and don’t agree with gay marriage. There’s no point in it, all the marriages are ‘open’. They will say they can’t live without the other person but you don’t need to get ‘married’ if you’re openly fucking other men (and often women too).

It’s not just gay men but bi men who can’t decide between Arthur and Martha. It’s a subversion – and I’m not moralising here. It’s definitional. If you take an established principle/institution and alter it, that’s a subversion (and let’s face it, these days we know it’s a deliberate, political move). Marriage isn’t about the couple, it’s about the children and gay people shouldn’t be parents either. It’s selfish to the children to deprive them of at least one of their biological parents. Next to no one considers this.

Whenever you encounter people who say ‘this is how things are’ or ‘how things should be’, what they mean is they just want you to agree with their view, whether you endorse it or not.

What I have advantageously witnessed, however, is the original reasons why people start these communities. It will usually be an artistic pursuit, it reminds me of what I’ve wanted to do online. The lessons are never lost just because you’ve stumbled upon something that isn’t your path. There’s always wisdom to be found. That’s my view anyway.

Be committed to what is authentically and uniquely you. Listen to what people have to say but understand you can do things your way.