Month: September 2026

Awareness is not existence.

You have scripts that are running all the time, unquestioned, unacknowledged, hidden – repressed! They are inconvenient to getting things you want from other people or at least you believe you want.

You’ll have had one, two, maybe many more experiences like this…

You’ll be sat in a very familiar setting. Suddenly, there’s a ring in your ears, you’ll ‘come to’ and you’ll suddenly wonder ‘what am I doing here?’, it’s like an out-of-body experience (maybe it is!) and you’ll be awake. It vanishes quickly but the echo sticks with you.

Certain beliefs

Certain judgements

Certain assumptions

How many of them are actually yours? How much of your life has served to please other people, to not get into trouble? How much have you pushed down to your depths so you don’t strike out independently?

Once this happens, you feel lost because you’re actually observing what takes place rather than believing the propaganda – and this exists in every area of your life. What most say and what they do rarely match. It becomes painfully obvious.

Do not shrink from this observation, accept it and, from that point on, accept your role in allowing yourself to be lead down destructive garden paths. You did do it but it doesn’t make you a bad person – though you will feel gargantuan shame. The shame is not the end, it is the beginning – of being who you were born to be regardless of all the voices that have been shouting over and at you.

You’re told not to meet your heroes but being only makes this very difficult indeed.

There’s a famous politician/spokesman doing the rounds at the moment telling Brits they should be preparing for war, doing their duty to go and fight Russia. Will his children be going? No, they won’t (or I would genuinely be VERY surprised if they did!). They will likely be hiding in their taxpayer funded bunker somewhere most discreet.

We seem to waste our time trying to prove things which can’t be and deny the recurring evidence of people doing things they say they won’t.

Honestly, it’s meant to be local. I learn this more and more.

And when I say local, I do mean myself. Individualist. What can I do? What can I know? Who actually am I?

Without the noise, without the need to please.

Who are you?

What are you?

Are you better than your enemy?

You’ll have to face your fear of looking stupid.

You’ll have to grow some balls and develop courage.

You’ll need to accept your so-called nearest and dearest won’t like it.

In the beginning, you’ll have to do it all yourself.

You’ll need to be patient and persistent.

Most of the time you won’t know what you’re doing.

What you expect might not be the end result.

You’ll probably lose your friends (often all of them!).

You’ll need to learn the word ‘No’.

You won’t recognise yourself.

Reflecting on your past will be like remembering someone else’s memories.

Your ego will scream in agony.

You’ll feel immensely overwhelmed.

You’ll have to deal with the anger you’ve been suppressing.

A lot of plans will not materialise.

Progress will likely be slow.

BUT IT IS POSSIBLE.

There’s always a hullaballoo! There’s always something to stress about. People will cry that you’re not getting ‘involved’ – “Wel! (huffff!), what are you doing?!”

Event happens.

Most believe the mainstream report.

A teeny, tiny, minuscule handful of truth-seekers report what’s happening.

The dust settles.

Then people wonder ‘why do I feel so shit?’.

We fool ourselves that talking is doing. We know it isn’t but there’s a momentary satisfaction, a vindication, that a brave group of protesters is acting out what we imagine in our geographic isolation.

Currently, we Brits are being ‘invaded’ at a famous South Coast town of Portsmouth. There’s a group of patriots in balaclavas with a grandma delivering food supplies to them in a canoe. It’s most exciting and enthralling but 99.9% are NOT THERE.

Our brains fool ourselves that we’re part of a ‘we’ (observe how football supporters include themselves in the ‘we’ of their team who actually play on the pitch).

As a result, I am unfollowing a lot of people because I don’t want it on my timeline. It’s not out of anger but as a desire for focus. I could spend some of my money hotfooting it to Portsmouth via train but I haven’t. The reality is it’s probably been in the planning for months and months.

GET INVOLVED MARTIN! In what?

I am going to live as if I am free, to the fullest extent that I can. I think that’s the best example. Who knows if we’re actually free or not, most things are an illusion, a way of keeping you in the hamster wheel.

Remember that people want to remain relevant rather than be virtuous, so they need to report on what’s doing the rounds. It’s only a handful of people who don’t indulge the bullshit, they annihilate it and that’s who I watch.

I am not telling you what to do or not to do, what to watch or not to watch, that’s not my business, that’s yours but (as I have to constantly remind myself – to train myself into new ways of behaving) you are allowed to curate your list, who you follow and who you don’t. The mute and block buttons are magical things. I feel unfair at times of removing people, perhaps they follow me and I ‘should’ be following them back. 

Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. Curate your life.

It’s a fatal mistake to put position before principle.

I see many people dependent and stuck because of a politician or public figure they’ve endorsed for the audience, for the clout, they’ve fallen into the “I’m right!” trap and/or they know their credibility will tank if they point out the glaringly obvious.

I supported Trump in 2015/2016 but you must be blind if you believe MAGA is still relevant. It’s so dead, it’s extinct AND it’s very, very disappointing. Trump is just another warmonger like the rest of ’em and if you have any integrity you have to admit that “pro-Trump” and “against the covid jab” can’t go in the same sentence. There’s new information now and it has to be included unless you genuinely are ‘in it’ just for the attention/the money.

The same thing’s spiralling in the UK right this moment with Reform and Restore and the many other splinter parties. You’re never going to vote your way out of tyranny! It’s a lesson we won’t learn – it’s all an illusion! Witness the desperation that leads people to relentlessly search for a solution outside of themselves. Are you doing it too? Honestly!

Yet, after years and years trying, I don’t try to convince people anymore, believe me I have put in the legwork, because people already believe what they believe and it’s not because they’ve reasoned themselves into their positions, they’ve been subject to military-grade propaganda – not just for a few years but decades on end.

We think our own personal belief systems are the best because it’s all we can see. One truth, a plethora of perspectives. We defend our religions, our politics, our prescriptions for relationships as the gold standard and we’re always going to.

When it comes to civilisation, I simply believe people shouldn’t be stolen from. Private property and capitalism are good because they’re solid principles and practices so that makes me ostensibly right-wing but I also produce abstract, expressionist art and I enjoy being vigorously butt-fu**ed by men so figure out where that puts me on the political spectrum.

We know that the official version of history is bullshit. Most people can’t remember what they had for lunch the day before let alone have a handle on decades past, not to even mention centuries and millennia hence.

Remember, historians/thinkers of prominence have ‘approved’ opinions and corrupted souls. They’re not good actors, they’re useful characters. The Communists go as far to call them useful idiots. They’ll swallow and say anything – and I’m gay!

Westerners have a terrible habit of feeling relentlessly guilty (I can attest to this!) and acting as if they’re a scourge on the planet. We’re not, we invented all the great stuff – to make people’s lives simpler and more abundant. We constantly berate ourselves for being manipulated, for being duped, it’s just how it goes. We learn as we go, we seem to think this is some terrible moral affliction. It isn’t. It’s the process. 

We’re obsessed with the need for progress without having any of the reflection of how things work, of how we can be in a steadier state of flow in everything we do. The preparation for any event takes far longer than the real-time execution of it. No time to stand still, to pause, to consider – no time to be bored (something I am focusing on more and more at the moment – it’s cropping up everywhere).

Peace, solitude, quiet, reflection and observation, honing the ability to tune into immediate surroundings. Don’t think I am saying this is an overnight, easy task, it isn’t. We’re obsessed with speed and have forgotten pace. 

The past is a place you can learn from. 

Read things.

Watch things.

Listen to things.

I don’t give recommendations for ‘what’ to consume as I don’t pay attention to recommendations. 

The stuff I need just comes up naturally.

I trust the process more and more and I see the past not as a way of righting wrongs but of living life better from here on in.

Every event is part of you.

Every step taken is irrevocably part of your history.

We fight so hard, wasting so much time, wishing things were different. They aren’t and never will be.

Spend each day doing as well as you can.

Acceptance is my new name for the past.