Even I thought this title sounded cringey but here’s the thing.
People have always been standing in their own gardens, staring enviously at other people’s. The only difference now is the scale.
It’s not just national or international, it’s global and it’s fed by a desperate need to be seen. In the Age of Connectivity, we have never felt more isolated or more alone.
Now, for my perspective, I realise just how much of a desperate rush I’ve been in and, very recently, how quick I am to deflect what’s painful – which, let’s face it, will only stunt growth and progress.
I literally laugh it off. It feels selfish to acknowledge the things I’ve been through solely from my point of view. So wicked, so self-absorbed but, by the way, how are you doing today?
See, a little joke but that’s the script that’s running. I even ask my therapist what’s going on with him.
With a far-distance look, he commented in my most recent session, the energy drains from my face and my eyes go darker. It’s a very heavy feeling that I feel arrogant and entitled to just focus on what I need and I what I’ve experienced emotionally and psychologically. My instinct is always to say “but I know I am not the only one.”
“Are you deflecting?” He also asked me at once point two days ago. I couldn’t deny it but it’s a massive habit, probably my most ingrained.
But I am the only one to sort out my shit from my perspective alone.
It’s exciting but a massive mountain to climb.
But I believe it’s time.