Author: Martin Pavey

Everyone wants their way. Absolutely.

We’re taught to be kind to people, be understanding they’ll say, let people have their way.

What about you that is left with the results?

Whether we like it or not, people want to dominate, they want to spread their views, their influence, they want to be noticed and agreed with.

Saying no is hard, people can be massive pricks, but how do you want your life to be? What do YOU want your life to look like?

Please yourself and expect nothing of others.

Don’t you feel like there’s ‘always something’ to deal with these days?

Well, you know what, despite feeling anxious sometimes, I wouldn’t change it because every time I face something challenging, I overcome it resiliently and am the better for it after.

It’s a highly optimistic world view and that’s me.

There are always people demanding things.

There are tasks you’re fretting over.

Yes, it can feel like a headache.

But which is worse?

Avoiding what you know you can do and staying in the same place you’re not happy with?

Or facing the fears and realising that life is much simpler than you think?

Not really a contest is it?

Won’t lie, I’ve been very passive over much of my life.

Not wanting to bother people.

Not wanting to get in the way.

Making sure everyone else is okay.

It’s a path to ruin because, for whatever motive, people will take advantage.

You have to train your audience.

This morning, relatives of the lady I share a garage with, took it upon themselves to move items in my half of the garage without my consent. I’ve taken decisive action and logged it with the police and will soon be dealing with the people we employ to manage the block.

Stand your ground. 

Don’t let people walk all over you.

If they are allowed to behave as they wish, guess what?

So are you. Stand up for what’s right.

I’m walking to my therapy session today, it’s a long walk and it takes in some truly stunning scenery!

Being here in the country and not driving, short distances in a car take a long time to walk but you know what?

It’s exciting. So many different routes, public footpaths, roadside routes to take on. Adventure.

You never stop being the child you were born as with all the needs and whims and desires that are innate to us.

Every day, have some kind of adventure, big or small!

There will be people already in your life that will support you and those that won’t.

The ones that will actually support you, as negative as it sounds, will be very few.

No one wants truths pointing out.

And very few can actually be happy for other people.

Being successful can be a lonely road 

UNTIL

You start to value your own company, the contribution you’re making and your own state of mind.

Keep going.

Covering up the truth

Medicating

Denying

Lies

It’s no way to live.

When times get tough, it’s so tempting to try to numb yourself out of dealing with the way things are. There are valuable lessons in the things you don’t want to face.

Regrets just make you lose the present moment.

Sadness robs you of gratitude for overcoming challenges.

Of course, you need to acknowledge your feelings but don’t get stuck in them. This is something I saw my ex do all the time. Unable to let go of things that happened months and years and even decades ago. It’s so fucking laborious and pointless – it changes nothing except your joy.

What are the lessons you’re avoiding?

What are the truths you’re unwilling to say?

What’s holding you back from your greatness?

Good questions to ask yourself today.

Have I mentioned before that I’m a control freak?!

Maybe once or twice, ha ha!

Perfectionism is the most prolific disease when it comes to getting things done, getting things ‘right’.

It’s not an easy mentality to adopt not wanting to change anything that’s happened. There are consequences you have to deal with and an alarming amount of them are painful, physically, emotionally and otherwise.

I haven’t been posting consistently for a while. Truth is, last few weeks have been rather shit and I’ve felt like shit and I’m still dealing with the aftershocks of it all.

And believe me, my body feels in shock.

Not only are there lessons to learn from it all, I’m reminded I’m resilient. Really resilient actually.

You can be too.

Pick yourself up, keep going and remember what you’re invested in all this for – freedom, fortune and fantasticalness!

Chaos?

Confusion?

Resentment?

We’ve all felt them, yet you and I know how damaging they are.

I confess I’ve been out of action for a while and, in my usual style, I’ve felt very guilty about it. Guilt plagues my mind. It’s actually a great thing to be setting to work on in the final weeks of 2024.

You, at some point, have to realise it’s your life if you’re going to take charge of it.

It’s something I’ve found tremendously difficult to put myself first in anything and I credit deciding to leave London and return to my Up North home village as perhaps the first thing I’ve done for myself, despite the objections.

If you do anything for yourself, it’s likely to rouse the whole spectrum of opinions and feelings in others and the best thing to do is to suck it up, accept that you’re never going to please anyone, any of the time and start making self-determined decisions for yourself.

And I’m not talking about scraping the skin off anyone’s nose deliberately.

We talk about ‘on purpose’ with the negative implication of intentional malice but what about ‘on purpose’ as a tool for liberation? A tool for empowerment and making things simpler? Give that a good ponder my friend. This isn’t a dress rehearsal, this is it.

Seeing yourself, understanding yourself and building yourself are opportunities you can invest in over and over and over again and they have nothing but upside.

Will everyone support you? Of course not but here’s the real question….

Will YOU support you?

Blow, Gabriel, Blow! You might have heard of the Cole Porter song, if not, look it up, it’s a cracker!

But blow, blow, blow!

See me, see me, see me!

Everyone wants a hero and candidates for the ballot are only too please to steal everyone’s attention.

But, as an Englishman, it’s all rather vulgar.

Don’t get me wrong, I desire riches too, wealth, freedom, options and opportunity, absolutely but I want to do it in private. 

We equate fortune with fame for some reason.

Not me, sophistication, decency and pot loads of dosh – that’s my aspiration.

A million and one choices, with your head about to explode? Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.

I heard a great phrase recently (paraphrasing), like a seed, you may think you’re in the dark but, in fact, you’ve been planted. In time, your purpose will reveal itself when you reach the light.

Enlightening thought or, as my father, sister and I remarked – another interesting fact.

Doesn’t the world feel ever so unstable? Drop that thought. The world is as it is, your mind confuses and complicates matters. That’s what personal responsibility is all about.

When I recently moved back to where I spent my childhood, I did it to create a sense of being grounded, of rootedness. It sort of worked, mostly because the country is better for me than the city. Of course, there are some ghosts here, some resentments, some traumas.

Nothing is quite as perfect as it should be for a perfectionist like me.

But what I do wish for myself and for you is that you get rooted in your thinking, in your focus, in your aspirations – not just material aspirations (though I am not one of those possessions don’t matter people) but also your spiritual and emotional aspirations.

Being rooted means expansion, from a point of belonging, your roots spread and you have wide and vast influence.

Never underestimate the power you have.

The other day I got a lovely message from someone who has been watching my short video clips I post (in this case) on Instagram. A very charming man going through major changes in his life. He said what I had related had help him cast off demons in his life.

It was very touching.

It might not seem you’re having that much impact but by doing work on the daily, you can actually make a big change – to yourself and to others.

Now, I’ve taken a major jolt recently and I haven’t been recording said videos for a few days but I am getting back to them.

Circumstances may sometimes feel really bleak and dark. 

They’re not. You can handle it.

We want to complicate when things could be simpler.

I live under a near constant level of guilt that I could and should be doing more. It’s actually rather debilitating, ironically!

We also want to plan to the nth degree and leave no room for spontaneity.

As I experience more, the more I realise we don’t know anything. We think we do but we really don’t.

If a rule’s a rule, we all would follow it and we don’t.

There are so many people.

There are so many things.

There are so many possibilities.

There are so many anxieties and worries.

We’re human, believe it or not.

I can’t give you answers.

In fact, I can’t even give you hope.

What I can give you is this – you are definitely more capable than you realise.

So, The Trump won. Yippee.

I’m not here to rain on anyone’s parade but once you see the pantomime of it all, I can’t help but laugh.

We’re always looking for an answer outside of ourselves to make things better.

And those that we pedestalise as the saviours, they’re in perfect understanding of the games they’re playing. They’re not stupid. They’re also not the answer.

Since the announcement of Trump being back in office, has your life changed? Are you in a materially better position? Do you believe he’s responsible for a momentary change in your mental health?

No, you do see that right?

They’re clowns in nice suits (and often not nice suits) and they’re laughing at you. They’re hiding their lies in plain sight.

The point of the charade is not getting the person in office you want, it’s to see that it makes no difference.

When things seem impossible or hopeless, I do have a habit of closing myself off from the world.

I know it’s not healthy to shut absolutely everything out but it’s a cocooning method.

I describe these hard times as emotional epilepsy. All cylinders firing, every synapse a fireworks display.

But here’s the thing.

Keep moving.

Do little things, do big things, keep yourself out in the world as much as you can.

Hopeless is an idea, not a state.

Heard this before, yes?

Is it you saying it or other people?

In successful relationships, there will be a balance, otherwise, do you really have a voice?

Freedom matters above all else. It requires honesty, honesty to admit whether things are working or not.

I’ve learnt to trust my instincts on these things, even when it’s painful.

Life’s about living authentically.

What do you want?

Things could be quite simple, you know?

Agreement, disagreement, open to suggestion. 

I’ll confess, I’ve become rather intolerant and impatient with people in the last few years because things feel like really hard work and aren’t enjoyable to organise.

I definitely think people are overloaded, both mentally and emotionally. 

There is so much choice.

We’re more disconnected despite social media.

We have a predominance of voices who believe they have all the answers to life.

Tedious.

I’m on my own again and I am going to spend my time of learning to appreciate the stuff I’ve already done, to work on my projects uninterrupted and peacefully.

Maybe that sounds bleak to you but if you learn to enjoy your own company and get your own head and body together, that’s where the magic happens and you can welcome the blessings into your life when they arise.

Perennial phrase – it’s your life.

Confused. Look at it. Look at the word. Without fusion, that’s what it means. It’s a lack of integration, a lack of understanding, not knowing things as a whole.

And I’m not judging.

Holy mother of fuck, are we confused! There’s so much to see, experience, feel, resent, be angry about. Goodness gracious me, we just want to shout out and, looking at the word,

HELP! HELP ME PLEASE!

Look at the word Help. It’s not far from the world HELL!

We live life on many brinks. There are strong winds and cliff edges and storms, violent rain and icy terrains.

Good Lord, can I have a moment of peace?!

Well, yes, my friend, you can have a moment of peace, if you allow yourself to look. 

Greatest thing to look at? You. Look at your thoughts? Is how you’re living bringing you peace and grace or is it stressful.

If we’re honest, I think we know which side we fall on more.

I’ve often talked about readiness, more to the point, that we’re never really ready – the circumstances are not perfect, our level of knowledge is not ideal, it’s frightening, it’s scary, it’s nerve-racking. You’ve had the same story too.

BUT! Readiness is when you’re willing to take on the truth. Painful. It can be very painful.

Full of pain, realising the truth means you might feel regret, sadness, sorrow, you may feel incredibly stupid and out of your depth and certain opportunities might have fallen from your grasp forever. Frightening to accept.

But the regret is pointless. It’s reactive. What’s passed has passed, what’s done is done. Can’t change it now but can deal with it.

You are responsible for yourself only and only 100% of the time. War is trying to change anyone or anything other than yourself.

I see some say go to war with yourself. Not for me.

I say LOOK at yourself, all the many words that you are and start there.

It might not be too late.

When you have to decide what’s working for you and what’s not for you.

You have a right to be who you are, to express yourself freely, to do what you need to do. You don’t have the right to tell other people what they have to do. Believe me, I’ve experienced a lot of the latter from people no longer in my life.

So there comes a time when you have to make a choice of who you accept and what you want your life to feel like.

Compromise is a very difficult thing, it always feels like you’re losing something(s) but you may be gaining many great freedoms. I’m not going to deny that it can feel very bleak at times.

I have the desire to live life peacefully, to be able to say things when I need to and, often, I wonder if the solitary life is for me. I don’t know yet and there are certain things I am currently addicted to, by the way, I’m not talking about substances.

You’re stronger than you think.

You can overcome.

Ooooh, selfish question you’re thinking.

Well, not really – especially when you realise that every single person, deep down, wants exactly their own way.

Negotiating relationships is very tricky, perhaps even a contradiction in terms.

I can’t help but feel guilty and paranoid at times, it’s such a programmed condition for me. I wonder if I’m being unreasonable, expecting too much, demanding things of people that simply aren’t possible.

On the other hand, I automatically recognise patterns, how am I being treated (by myself and others) based on certain behaviours.

I can’t lie, my natural disposition leans towards The Hermit. Increasingly so. I don’t see the point of involving myself with other people if it’s simply to listen to their gripes and endless repetition of what they dislike about their lives.

“What’s in it for me?” is an acknowledgment that your needs need to met  in relationships as well and unreasonable behaviour will not be tolerated. 

Don’t let your standards slip.

It’s your life and you deserve to live it well.

Making sense of things, it seems like an enormous task.

I know for my part, I’ve involved myself in trying to figure out other people, much to the waste of my own time.

I know this for sure, I’ve done a lot with my life, achieved things, felt satisfaction, been accomplished but only recently have I started to acknowledge it wholly.

You are the person you are. Sounds obvious a thing to say. You have natural talents, a way of expressing yourself and a desire to do good, I would imagine.

Chart your progress.

Be proud.

It’s you.

It’s said that timing is everything.

Want to know why you haven’t had the results you want yet? You’re not ready for them.

Look at lottery winners, people who inherit a lot of money, divorcées who  steal their husbands’ assets.

What’s the common denominator?

They all lose the riches because they didn’t earn them.

It’s the same with you. You’re at whatever stage of your journey and when the time’s right, you’ll get that break, you’ll make that realisation, you’ll feel it in your body.

This does not mean inaction, no, no.

It does mean patience that the truth will be revealed when you’re good and bloody well ready.

Do you think that billionaires wake up and think, I must do this thing at 6am and that thing at 11.15?

Doubtful.

They have a passion for what they do, the sheer effort of their work necessitates it. Many on Twitter call it ‘obsession’, I’m not sure where I stand on the term but we know that the very successful, whether you agree with what they’re doing or not, have a fanatical commitment to their quest.

What matters is conversations and conversions and the only way to achieve those is to put yourself out there.

Share wisdom

Share insights

Share what you’re doing.

Get out there, my son!

The other day, I did 15 press-ups, I still have the sensation on my chest. The lesson, simple things, done well, have lasting results.

The same is true for consistency.

We’re told that to do the same thing over and over and expect different results is madness. This is a distraction. Not true.

You’re making efforts on the daily, not seeing the results you want YET, you know the answer is to keep going, not stop, not beat yourself up.

There is a way to do things – and it’s peacefully and prosperously.

We all have our mental traps.

Being honest about it is a fantastic first step.

Crypto guys

Politics guys

Fitness guys

Religion guys

‘Fill in the gap’ guys

Everyone wants their world view to win for ease and simplicity and, frankly, so they don’t have to do too much thinking.

I find that when I trigger anyone they will start tweeting details from my own profile, sharing my videos to question my motives, it’s all free advertising for me, so fantastic!

Of course, they are trying to use ridicule because their worldview is challenged, the mental traps we all have our crutches to keep us balanced.

When I say, now, that it doesn’t bother me that they’re disagreeing, I mean it. Of course, having been incredibly sensitive, it did bother me, enormously but speaking of enormous…..

Last night, I had a wonderful dream that my dick had doubled in size and I woke up thinking,

Yep, I took on the ridicule and came out stronger.

That’s the point. Life is about positioning. Putting myself in a position of courage, strength and gratitude that all this stuff is flying at me to test my resolve.

And you know what, my resolve is powerful!

I get up late.

I feel irritated.

I can’t stand cyclists.

I get drunk and do crazy things.

There you go. Imperfect. We all are.

Emotions come, I don’t think we can help it.

When something doesn’t chime with my world view, it rocks me, sometimes more than others and there is a lesson in it.

Whatever happens though, I do my best not to let it detract from my progress.

Constantly living in the future is a curse.

There’s no room for satisfaction and, my buzzword du jour, appreciation in it.

You’ve already done so much but you’ve left it unnoticed. I’ve lived this way for a long time.

Even moving back to my hometown, it was a totally self-determined decision, in the face of hostility, and I did it. I now take plenty of time to acknowledge it, be proud of myself for it.

People say you shouldn’t live in the past, fair play but when you’re LIVING the reality of accomplishment, make sure you recognise the things you’ve already done and realise that….

If you’ve done great stuff already, you can continue to build your field of your dreams.

Wanting things to be exactly as I wish them.

Wanting things to be predictable and secure.

We can’t expect these things because they’ve never been.

They’ve only existed as ideas in my mind.

Hard, hard, hard. So hard.

I totally get it.

I moved back to my hometown hoping things to be a certain way and, of course, they are and they aren’t. Same but different.

But I wish them.

And I move daily to bridge the gap between wish and reality.

I do it.

You do it.

We all do it.

I talk about being gay quite a bit.

You know what, I don’t understand it either. Biologically it doesn’t make any sense.

And, yes, I pray as well, like any good Christian should.

There is so much stuff we don’t know. We’re all guessing somewhat. It is possible there are some answers we will simply never know.

Fortunately, I’m not one of these crazy commie queers you see so much of. I just don’t get why so many gay men are left wing, that makes no sense either.

You are who you are but I don’t believe in all the delusion. Chopping off your cock doesn’t make you a woman, a man wearing a dress and a wig doesn’t make you a woman either.

Do your best.

A few days ago, I wrote about the illusion of age, that just because you’ve been around a long time doesn’t mean you have a fucking clue what you’re talking about.

I still hold this and it’s an idea that I heard originally from Stefan Molyneux of Freedomain.

Now people will come back with the usual platitudes, e.g. (a comment on my YouTube video of the same subject)

“Sure, young or old, everyone can be wrong. But, as a rule of thumb, older people’s opinions do deserve more weight because they have the irreplaceable benefit of experience, of having been there and seen things. We cast away such experience at our peril.”

But clearly we’re indulging in circular arguments. The truth is, most people don’t see. Eye witness testimony is the least reliable because people don’t see what happens, they see what they believe.

I’ve had a cold for a bit and it’s somewhat relentless, the first I’ve had in a few years. It’s undignified, it’s rather annoying and I’m in the final stages now where it feels like it will never pass, but it will. I think, what can I do with my day today? I don’t really feel like doing much.

I’ve done a spot of vacuuming, rearranged some things at home, eaten a bit but not a lot.

There are some days you’ll simply go through the motions but, please observe, that even on the blah days, you do get stuff done. Thumbs up!

Distractions are easy.

It’s dangerously close to making excuses.

But we live each new day with the opportunity to make our lives fabulous.

Take it!

Always living in the future.

Where’s the achievement in that?

I moved back to my home town a little over a year ago. Best thing I’ve ever done! It was the first decision I’ve made purely for me and it was up against some major objection.

I can only regard it as such, however, because I’ve started acknowledging it. You need to pay more attention to what you’ve done otherwise you’ll never have the sense of accomplishment. You have done stuff. Obvious sounding, I know, but true. You’ve done lots of stuff in fact.

A major theme of most of my life has been waiting around, trying to get things done, feeling like simple things have been belaboured and complicated.

It’s why I love being with my man, we decide, we do, we appreciate. It’s a fabulous formula but most miss this opportunity because, for whatever reason, they seem to enjoy the drama rather than the action.

Nothing has meaning unless it’s done.

Most have regrets, I implore you to have accomplishments.

One of the things I see frequently on Twitter is people talking about certain useful subjects not being taught at schools.

They should teach entrepreneurship, they should be educating children about taxes and how money works.

Of course, not.

The function of any monopoly (which governments are) is to build compliant, biddable subjects who will do what they’re told.

Look at Covid, look at people taking whatever injection the government says. They do it to everyone, young and old.

Only had a handful of people, figuratively speaking, will be entrepreneurial because, as I see it, we are explorers at heart and we want to find better ways of doing things. I believe I was born this way – curious, inquisitive, determined to live life the best way I can.

Most people need a framework, a code, to be told what’s right and wrong. There is usually little to no morality involved, many people are not particularly intelligent or patient enough to think for themselves.

Which side of the aisle are you on? Freedom or Compliance?

Age is an illusion.

Take it for granted that whoever you’re talking with is an overgrown child. I see it all the time.

When you rock the boat even slightly, you will experience the wrath of people’s disapproval. It’s inevitable when you’re dealing with people.

Sounds bleak, no?

I don’t see it that way anymore.

It makes it easier to ignore their behaviour. Don’t make a big deal of it.

As you will know, I’m all for listening and learning but when people are being clearly obstructionist and unreasonable, it says far more about them than it says about you.

I’ve spent a lot of time feeling paranoid over other people. It’s a total waste of time because they’ll do what they do anyway. Seriously, I’ve experienced this over and over and over and over.

I always wonder when I hear you HAVE to respect your elders but, if you think about it, if they behave poorly, they’ve simply had more time to practice being an arsehole. There are plenty of wise youngsters and an alarming amount of stupid elderly. Plenty of evidence to support this.

People will people, always remember, it’s quality that counts.

I see it all the time.

People want to talk about war and politics and culture and religion and who’s bombing who and who has a claim to that land.

And they all want to be right.

It’s not possible without massive conflict and misery.

I’ve discovered that the simple life is far more appealing.

Each week I FaceTime with my family on a Friday (lots of Fs) and I love the experience but it is rather like stepping onto a carousel of the same problems and the same need to get dirty.

People feel alive with a drama, you can see it on their faces but, me, I love a good cuddle on the sofa, doing my work and providing a beacon of light in the darkness for people.

Enjoy life!

Okay, okay! Bear with.

You’ve been asked this before.

I’m going to tell you the story of the great day I had yesterday.

Short version – I did every task I intended and said I would do and it felt bloody marvellous and I ended the day on a high. It actually took me a while to come down and get to sleep.

Here’s the thing.

You know what you need to do.

It may not even be that scary to be honest.

You just don’t really feel like it.

Believe me, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.

The thing is though…….

When you get the work done, whatever it is and we can talk about that when we work together, you feel great (champion as we say up here in the North of England), here’s the kicker – you prove to yourself (and yourself alone!) that you CAN do it.

Self-doubt is such a massive killer, it probably outranks all the other diseases we’re reminded of as the biggest Death of Dreams you can imagine.

You’ll have listened to a million people tell you how much you need to do, what order to do it, that you’re a loser if you don’t do it.

On the loser point, no it doesn’t make you pointless but you do lose something, something quite major in fact – you lose joy. You’ll lose fulfilment as well.

Life is a series of innumerate decisions but you can decide to take ONE step.

Having big, bright, shiny dreams has an off-putting effect (believe me, I’ve been here as well!) of feeling so enormous you can’t fathom where to start. Don’t worry about it. Nobody else knows exactly what they’re doing either. CHUNK THINGS DOWN!

We all want to do everything, immediately if not sooner but no one ever does that.

Most of life is dancing in the dark and bumping into the right stuff, the difference with the 1% is they flail around stylishly and laugh off the knocks.

You already have a plan, you’ve procrastinated over it for years, maybe even decades like me.

You know you’re capable, remind yourself of past wins.

Take one step today and another if you fancy, maybe more than one or two.

Rinse and repeat.

It really can be that simple.

I think a lot of gaining wisdom is cutting through bullshit.

People are free to post basically whatever they want on Social Media (a handful will just face severe consequences but, let’s face it, they know what they’re letting themselves in for AND there’s a streak of enjoyment in them for it!).

You’ll be called names – be willing to take that.

Some won’t get what you’re saying – be willing to accept that.

You’ll feel embarrassed and stupid at times – be willing to feel it.

There’ll be some stuff you want feel like doing – be willing to do it.

Remember, everything is an experience. You can learn something in everything you do.

The rewards are great for those that are brave, consistent and do the work that most others aren’t willing to do.

For me, it’s always started with willingness.

It astounds me. 

There are so many doom-mongers on Twitter, it actually makes me laugh.

We seem to want to romanticise the past as being this perfect, idyllic landscape with nothing baaaad in it. Obviously, we know this to be palpably absurd.

So many seem to be falling into a trap that the state of the world has never been worse, that we are now living in a time of total darkness and, the thing that astounds me the most, people seem to enjoy pushing and pushing it.

Why are you married to misery?

Why are you wedded to woe?

We know there have been rises and falls of empires and states of the world. If you keep pushing the most depressing stuff, how likely is it that you’ll affect positive change?

Seriously, think about it.

I am buying back my family home.

There, I’ve said it on a YouTube video.

Now I am saying it in a blog post.

By my calculations I need a million pounds. Sounds like a lot and to many it is.

Here’s what it could be.

10,000 sales at £100

1,000 sales at £1,000

100 sales at £10,000

10 sales at £100,000

1 sale at £1,000,000

Now, as you read down the list, the amounts seemed to get scarier and scarier and the number of sales seemed to be more and more unlikely.

You are wherever you are because, on some level, you believe you should be there. You don’t want to do the necessary work to expand your life (largely because you’ve been taught – and you believe – that you should study, earn a certain amount, buy and save).

What you weren’t told was earn some, then earn some MORE and invest the money to work for you rather than the other way around.

When you have a big, shiny goal in mind, the lengths you have to go seem far away but if I’ve learnt anything, chunking down is enormously underrated. Every coach said. Figure out what you want and then chunk down what you need to get there.

Yes, a sale right now at £1,000 seems crazy but that’s simply because you haven’t got the social authority YET to do it but once you’ve earned £1 or $1, the principles are all the same.

It’s your belief and work ethic you have to build and, like with many other achievements you’ve already made, it’s simple and easy once you’ve done it.

Making money is no different.

Believe in yourself and get to work.

I know, I know. You’ve heard this before but hear me out.

How good are you at controlling your own mood? Seriously. That’s right, you struggle with it every single day of your life. It’s fine.

How easy and productive do you believe it’ll be trying to manage someone else’s mood? On their behalf. Yes, that’s also right, impossible.

It’s not the focus.

I’m building a copywriting and coaching business on Twitter, my job is not to convince people to buy, it’s to attract the people who are already looking. It’s a subtle difference in mentality.

Helping people (help themselves) not changing them.

Most try the latter – and go fucking crazy because of it!

It’s all about boundaries. How do you like it when someone else tries to make you think and feel things you don’t believe in? Yep, right again – SO irritating. 

Do unto others as you would wish done unto you!

Here endeth the lesson.

There’s plenty of stuff we don’t know.

There’s a large cohort of Christians in my followers and I am sure they have many things to say about my being gay. By the way, I pray twice daily myself. I find it very 

I don’t understand being gay either. Genetically, it makes absolutely no sense for me to be a particular sexual orientation and not pass it on. It does seem like gay men delve into wildly creative and artistic pursuits and have been warriors and inventors too. They do lots of drugs and often seem to die quiet young.

Who knows? I just know that my boyfriend and I fit like hand and glove and we support each other, have great fun too.

I don’t begrudge people their opinions, I share many of them, the ones I disagree with, I simply accept that’s where they are. I think we’ve learnt that violence doesn’t really help anything, right? 

Some seem themselves as hammers, I prefer to think of myself as a screwdriver – an assisting tool to guide things into the right place. I half-joke that I am a lover not a fighter. I value peace these days far more highly than discord or stress.

No, I am not a perfect little angel but I am certainly doing my level best to move freely and easily where I am now than where I was in London.

It seems to me that everyone wants their version to be right. We’re all from different strokes and we have very different ways of doing things. Maybe there’s a place for everything but, again, I don’t know.

I’m perfectly willing to say we know nothing.

I’m perfectly willing to admit the story of history we’ve been told is bullshit.

I’m perfectly fine with people trying to manipulate me, I just don’t have to buy it.

I see a lot of injustice mongering and people wanting to get angry over everything but been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt for me.

The thing I find the most funny is how people still believe there are political means out of the mess when politics is designed to be messy, to divide and rule and to programme.

I see this all the time now, rewatching TV programmes from my childhood and catching, in full view, the subtle manipulations and gerrymandering of ‘people in the know’ wanting to portray various worldviews that no intelligent nor moral person would want but get cajoled into under the pretence of being a ‘good’ person.

This is the acceptable view.

That is wrong think.

Look out for it, learn to laugh at the pantomime, start building your ‘own thing’ as soon as you can.

Make money – don’t feel bad about it, it’s simply another resource (tool) to enhance your mission. If you understand that money is a means of exchange, you can have perfectly noble motivations for wanting to make it and need it.

Be reflective – you can feel in your body when things are right. Trust yourself, make decisions peacefully and firmly. Don’t dillydally. Get on with it.

Listen – people are infinitely willing to share stories about their lives with you. You’ll be amazed at what you can learn by being genuinely interested.

I can’t give you answers, that’s up to you. What I can tell you is my life immeasurably improved when I realised that more people wanted the best for me than I realised and when I started wanting better things for myself.

A year ago, I moved back to where I grew up and, despite it feeling a massive undertaking, I know I will buy back the house where I spent most of my childhood. I don’t know exactly how but I have my ideas and I know the work I have to do.

Believe in great things.

Believe in the goodness in people.

Believe in yourself. It all starts and ends with you.

It’s fascinating watching social media in action, it actually tells you a lot about what matters to people AND what they believe is true.

Everyone wants a hero, right? Take The Trump.

There are people out there in the world who believe the former Don-in-Chief is the political and cultural solution for their lives.

It is absolutely astounding!

The fact that people still rely on a political change to improve their lives is, after the last few years, quite hilarious but they haven’t yet seen that Trump’s only real win was some tax cuts for people who already knew how to evade them.

When new information is learned and new wisdom acquired, it needs to be woven into the quilt.

Most get stuck. Most only want to go so far and can’t give up the Hopium when it comes to certain topics.

If you want to get ahead, you need to roll with the punches.

Save the goal, change the strategy, people!

I’ve been a bit of a cunt in my time. Pushing my beliefs down people’s throats.

It’s not to say there aren’t things that are total bollocks but when in discussions about the nature of the world and all that’s within it (this is inspired by the way from a podcast I watched this morning) that we can’t be openminded and civil.

The trouble with zealotry is it leaves no room for being wrong or misconstruing reality.

Passion is one thing, pushiness quite another.

The aim of finding out the truth is so there can be more harmony. We labour painfully under tyranny and delusion.

Freedom is understanding the world as it is and doing the best you can do in it – and being as good as you can be.

We all want the simple explain-it-all-answer to everything but it seems to me there is no room in the discussion for “I don’t know.” 

All the time we are piecing the puzzle together but let’s have some kindness and understanding and room for disagreement along the way.

You know the answer to this question already.

What’s stopping you? Why, perfection of course.

We all want everything to be ‘just so’ but we also all know that there is

No perfect relationship

No perfect method

No perfect route

No perfect time

It’s now, obvious right?

In theory yes, in practice no.

Looking for guarantees will get you a-whole-lot-of nowhere.

Play

Experiment

Be courageous

The media wants you.

Social media gurus want you.

The government wants you, oh yes!

Every faddish diet and those that push them want you.

That’s one side of it. Here’s the other.

Your baser, primitive and destructive instincts want you. Resentment wants to occupy your system. That’s why you’re drawn to news and media, they feed the beast.

I’ve started going on morning walks without my phone. No technology. I found myself when I returned from my constitutional this morning looking for pedometers on Amazon. Sinful behaviour.

Here’s a maxim I do my very best to live by – wherever you are, be there. Don’t be trying to take photos or capture bits on video. Be there. 

Now, I must hold my hands up and admit that, yes, when I go on my second longer walk of the day, I do take my bag with phone and credit card and tripod to record my daily YouTube video but the sheer pleasure of being out, totally unencumbered by gismos and gadgets is something I highly recommend.

People want you distracted because they want to believe in ‘their thing’ so they look to other people to do it for them – they are not completely convinced in it themselves. Remember that.

Being focused on doing the right thing is a challenge, we’re taught to build other people’s dreams but when you zoom in on what you’re doing, you’ll get far more done and be far more useful than you can imagine.

Scared of Spiders?

I was.

Now?

Made myself not scared of them.

Why?

Easier to focus on what matters.

How?

Started to understand why they kept appearing – they’re marvellous for eating annoying flies. They’re my friends now.

Observing things really helps, rather than trying to rationalise them from your own myopic view.

It used to be the same for me with pigeons until I changed my mind and I just walked through them. My mother observed this….

“Oh, you’re not afraid of them anymore?”

“No.”

“How did you do that?”

“I decided not to be afraid of them, so I’m not anymore.”

I repeatedly remind you that everything is your choice. You can do things if you really want to but you have to really want it and do it. I have to remind you because it isn’t just one decision, it is many decisions, every single day and you have to train yourself. And it’s really worth it. 

Life can be much simpler than you’re currently making it. I definitely now believe that people want the drama. They find it exciting, you can see it on their faces – they love a good moan or a good stress.

I’ve shifted perspectives on many things recently, it’s great to undo the bullshit you’ve been operating under.

Easy? Maybe not.

Worth it? Oh, most definitely!

I’ve just spent a few blissful days with my man. He left today and will return in a week and a half.

I always learn magical and valuable lessons when we’re together.

What I realise is how much of a control freak I’ve been (largely learnt behaviour!).

Now, I am not saying it is easy to intercept the moments where you lose yourself. No, no. It is very difficult. You have to recognise your shortcomings, which, of course, most don’t want to do.

When I woke up this morning with my man beside me, here’s the conclusion that crystallised in my mind.

What is the result? This simple question can transform your life.

When I behave like this, good things happen and I feel great.

When I behave like that, bad things happen and I feel shit.

Radical simplicity. Yes, it sounds really superficial. Yes, it sounds childish but the modern disease is over-complication. Honestly.

At the heart of the question “what is the result?” is what really matters. How much of what you believe matters is trivial, insignificant, meaningless? Yep, the vast majority of this.

Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

What you want to win arguments or have fabulous relationships?

You get to decide BUT you have to lose your ego to have a great life! 

Think you always know best do you?

Well, have a fun time being alone, isolated and miserable for the rest of your life.

I’ve found a whole, newfound love for watching masterful men doing great things and learning from them.

Don’t let your world become so tragically myopic and think you have all the answers. We humans need each other for support and equanimity. We benefit from each other and it can be mutual.

I’m lucky enough to be with a very talented man and he with me, we find peace in lightening each other’s loads.

When I find myself in old patterns of behaviour of wanting things all my own way, do you know what I feel? I feel ashamed, angry and disconnected from the flow of life.

I love observing and ADMITTING that I don’t have everything as lined up as it could be. Let go of the anger and need to be right all the time and start to be a student of life and a student of other people’s greatness.

Nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Trust your natural instincts? No? Start.

There are very few things that are actually really difficult, we, as humans, simply get in the way of getting them done.

Which is the right way to do things, you ask? Go with your natural inclination. I love a good questioning but when it becomes procrastination for procrastination’s sake, I now cry bullshit.

The more you can simplify, the more progress you can make.

Start doubting yourself less.

Start trusting yourself more.

There’s a natural pace to Creation, I am convinced.

I’ve always said that stress in the enemy of success.

I hold this.

The key is finding YOUR way. Don’t be swayed by how other people do things believing them to be the only option.

Listen, essential.

Learn, essential.

But don’t be afraid to discard what doesn’t fit with you. Trusting your instincts is the greatest fast-track to where you want to be. Will you run into difficulties? Yeah, maybe but that’s when you’ll realise how capable and committed you really are.

Stop trying to force your way to your dream state.

Invest in the daily and the future will sort itself out.

Everyone has to pick a side.

So convinced are you that you’re right, it is to the exclusion of all else!

This is not the way of Martin, at least, anymore.

The simplest entry point to any situation is “I don’t know.”

You believe you can divine people’s motives.

You believe you have all the answers.

Truth simply flows forth from you.

Yep, time to lose that ego.

It’s holding you back

From real progress,

From peace,

From truth.

I said it.

Yes.

The world is so big and there are so many people in it.

Are you really putting yourself in the place of providence?

Stop simply having answers, start asking questions.

Listen, learn.

Do you believe that freedom resides in the future?

No, no. It is now. It is a choice.

The way you do things is going to be wildly or ever so slightly different from everybody else and it should be that way.

I’ve never liked rules, even the idea of them, because rules, by definition, should be universal. We know this isn’t true.

Principles are where it’s at! Honestly.

Do you want to be treated kindly, then treat others with kindness.

Do you want to be left alone? Leave other people alone.

Do you want wealth? Be of genuine service.

Do you want likes? Like other’s work.

The reality is most people just want you to agree with them. The ego will get you into fights because you believe, like them, that you are always right. No, no, no, no. no.

The greatest lessons I’ve learnt are the ones I didn’t want to hear.

That’s freedom, accepting that other people will do them and that you will do you.

Simples!

Planning all the time.

Trying to mould things all the time.

Being so rigid you become your own jailor.

Last night my lover and I spoke for five hours, we laughed ’til we cried, we talked about everything, we shared, we went with the flow.

Allow yourself to be surprised by life.

It’s the unplanned that’s the adventure!

You believe you know yourself.

Have you ever stopped to question the reasons why you behave as you do? Really thought about it?

Do you have emotional or psychological blindspots you’re not willing to examine?

It’s a familiar story.

There is so much that is automatic to you and me but does it serve you?

Habits give us a sense of security and familiarity but do they help you get the job done?

A thought to ponder this Sunday.

Inversion is everywhere.

I listen to the same people talking about not pleasing other people but then in the self same moment to stop looking inwards and being so insular.

To be fair, I don’t think it’s deliberate. Confusion is rife wherever you look and most are, in public gaze, trying to figure things out. I find it sort of amusing but I do have sympathy.

It’s not easy making sense of things because you do have to let go of the ego, you have to stop needing to be right all the time. This is a massive shift I’ve made recently to really listen to people. It’s peaceful and it’s inspiring. Do you know how much wisdom people have?

What’s incontrovertible, though, is that you have to sort yourself out before you help anyone else. We all know the aeroplane exercise, put your mask on first because you’re useless to your loved ones if you’re flailing around, breathless.

I understand it’s not fashionable now to reference psychology but these fields arise for a reason and whether you agree with them as a whole or not, of course there are valuable lessons. How you see yourself is how you see the world. Again, if you’re religious or not, it’s clear that prayer is a conversation between you and your maker. We pray for those we love, who we want to be saved and guided, but you can’t wish love if you inwardly loath, resent or feel bad for yourself.

I don’t care what anyone says, you have to sort yourself first.

Oi, oi, oi!

You’ve heard it, right?

How you use language matters.

As I’ve got older, I’ve realised that definitions are largely meaningless. You just can’t get people to agree! Most inconvenient, yes?

Well, life is about choices.

You want to be right?

You want to be happy?

You want to be successful?

You want to live ALL your dreams?

Then you have to let something go. A sacrifice is required.

The greatest thing you can sacrifice is your ego, the need to have all the answers, to ignore what people say, to reject wisdom because you’re so very knowledgeable.

I myself prefer a strong dose of wisdom.

When people say ‘their truth’, what they’re actually talking about is their perspective.

Truth is simply what happens and then people, inevitably, bring their belief systems, opinions, preferences and biases. It’s going to happen my friend and, truthfully, there’s very little you can do about it. It’s better to focus on your influence.

What are you doing to improve things?

Are you tending your own nest or invading someone else’s?

Look at the so-called freedom fighters telling you stuff, like it or not, they thrive on conflict. They absolutely love it. You can see it on their faces, in their body language and the way they behave.

That’s not my bag.

So I will say this, yes, think about how you would like to appear to people. What’s the very best version of yourself to put forward?

Always remember your wins. You’ve had many.

For all the talk of failure on Twitter (the same people will say ‘failure leads to lessons’) – righy-oh then, so if there’s a lesson, it’s not a failure. That’s my take.

I had a wonderful taste of things to come yesterday.

Active and creative on Twitter.

New friends.

Great walk.

Delicious food for dinner.

A wonderful boyfriend who supports and inspires me.

Glimpses.

Whichever direction successes come from, embrace. Swallow ‘em whole my friend! 

And remember them, remind yourself of your wins.

Have fun with your life.

Fortune favours the brave.

Serenity favours the active.

The greatest prison is procrastination.

The universe loves speed (not racing, not haste nor hurry).

We’re told “if in doubt, don’t do.” Nah!

When in doubt, carry on. Like I said yesterday, it’s just another step.

An unofficial tagline of mine is aspiring to not be bothered by things, to realise that whatever faces you, you can deal with it. You’re stronger than you believe and more capable than you know.

So, if there’s something you ‘need to do’, just do it.

Nothing is set in stone nor cast in concrete. The world is going on regardless and, believe me, there are way bigger fish to fry than the thing you’re agonising over.

Get things done, make them as simple as possible, don’t make such a big deal over them and wake up 

SATISFIED and FREE!

Always racing ahead.

I must confess my own guilt of this!

And guess what it leads to…….

Catastrophe and stress

Wherever you are, be there. Immerse yourself in the moment.

The beauty of life is those moments you catch when you’re not in hurry. Remember, hurry is not the same as pace or progress.

If you want everything at once, need to say everything at once, you’ll only fall over yourself.

The key is to get out of your own way.

Live by principle and purpose and prosperity will be delivered to you.

Thinking we know what other people are thinking.

Thinking we are always right.

Do we stop to ask? To question?

Am I actually right?

We severely lack humility and I’m not talking about being meek or weak. I am talking about do you ever really stop to consider…..

Could I be living life better?

Could I be making things simpler for myself?

Your Sunday opportunity to be more peaceful and more joyful.

What have you done with your life?

I guarantee you’ll have had some great times, strong moments, flashes of inspiration that you’ve acted upon.

Yet, have you acknowledged them?

Have you congratulated yourself?

Not as much as you should have.

So many talk of the passage of time, an inevitable process, yes, but so many talk of regret, “I wish I’d have started earlier.” et al.

Start considering how you’ve done certain things well. Really. Count your blessings, not your troubles.

What do your wins have in common?

Do more of that!

Yes, the usual phrase is “Peace in our time.” Yesterday I talked about delusion, how apt!

Do you rush to solve problems in the world before you’ve sorted out your own dysfunction?

I hazard a guess that’s often a yes!

I don’t care what anybody says, relationships and focus fail when you’re blaming other people, when you’re gazing so far into the distance you neglect what’s immediately in front of you.

It seems so easy to ‘fix’ other people and forget that everything you do is based on you…

Your thinking

Your beliefs of others

Your hasty conclusions

Your desire to be always right

The stresses you experience day-to-day

We don’t know other people, we simply assume.

I can speak for no one but myself. It’s a humbling fact and a freeing one.

Ask questions, listen. 

Why are you being fed certain narratives and scenarios?

Why are they important?

Are your heroes truly on your side?

Observe people’s behaviour. They may not be all that they claim.

And, no, I am not talking about a lack of trust.

I am talking about intrigue, skepticism and discernment.

The English were once renowned for their sophistication – let’s bring it back. Let’s make inner peace a noble aim again and see how that reduces war in the world.

You know what’s amazing? People believe what they say, they believe, in all honesty, that what they believe is true.

I’ve just watched a podcast from someone I really admire and like listening to who just said “The French have a proud history of freedom of speech.”

I’m sorry but I let out a totally involuntary laugh. I simply couldn’t hold it in.

There is truth is chaos, it’s where we sort through the bullshit and the truthful but do not allow yourself to start believing that your opinions are true just because you think them.

I’ve got things wrong with the love that I’m recently reunited with. I have humbled myself into accepting that my initial reactions are not necessarily correct.

Always ask yourself “why am I being told this?”

Ask also “is this an attack on me or the person saying it?”

Live not by lies.

Live truthfully.

And no, I don’t mean to attack.

I’m talking about focus.

I made a massive realisation yesterday, something frankly that I’ve known for a long time but truly admitted to myself whilst talking with my boyfriend on our evening call.

I’ve not been very respectful to the people I’ve been interacting with.

Now, to me, the English language is the very best there is. It is witty, smart, sharp, incisive, funny, emotional, flowing, staccato – you can do anything with it. It will probably always bother me, therefore, when I see people butcher it.

But I don’t want to fight with the world, I actually want to help make it better and, as a consequence, offer my services to do so.

I want to use my skills to genuinely help people who can’t do it for themselves, or want to pay someone else to do so they can focus on what matters to them.

Truth is, you and I and everyone in the world has there special place and contribution to make.

Wordsmith is my place, what is yours?

Everyone wants to be liked. I said it.

I’m in the early stages of seeing the lay of the land on Twitter but here’s one undeniable thing.

You’re all copying each other, with a handful of exceptions.

I honestly see people writing the exact-worded tweets as other people, passing it off like you said it first and wondering why you’re not standing out.

Of course, we understand it’s scary putting your head above the parapet, very few enjoy being criticised, very few enjoy being contradicted or disagreed with.

But you’re not here to simple agree with the status quo, I’m certainly not, and give a fleeting thumbs up because you want approval from your peers.

There are things you can’t control, yes, but when people tweet just trying to sound clever and others agree because they want to bask in those rays of sunshine as well, ironically, it’s very repetitive and once a statement sticks, it can easily become endorsed out of saying No.

I correct grammar in the comments.

I question what people are actually saying.

I happily disagree when something doesn’t add up. (I’m logical like that!)

And I’ll tell you what, when I do, I get more and more confident as well as clearer in my thinking, my behaviour too. Wonderful!

I’m not necessarily a member of the ‘you weren’t born to blend in, you were born to stand out’ happy-clappy crowd but I certainly don’t advocate for agreeing just because you don’t want to rock the boat.

Live not by lies.

No, there is a unique reason why you’re on the planet, I fundamentally believe that and our spiritual and personal journeys are to ask questions, speak truth and discover our purposes.

Make everything as fun, informative and sparkly as you can.

I’ve indulged many vices in my time.

One of them – believing people have had it in for me, trying to manipulate me. What has this meant? Well, it’s meant I’ve attracted some rather unsavoury people into my life.

Here’s the bit you won’t want to hear – yes, you’re responsible for that too – the people you welcome into your life. Never let vampires cross your threshold, you have to invite them in first.

Of course, once you’ve repeated a pattern so many times, it becomes habitual and, as expected, you will assume that all people have some nefarious motive.

I’ve discovered, thankfully, that this is not always the case.

I recently reunited with my boyfriend. I feel very blessed, very fortunate and very peaceful knowing there are very special people out there who really do care.

Start to rack up the wins, good fortunes and blessings, pay close attention to the joy in your life. Then, and only then, will you start to live a life so many only dream of.

Allow the good people in.

Ever fancied rewriting history? You’re not alone.

You’ve had wins.

You’ve had setbacks.

You’ve felt great about yourself.

You’ve doubted you’ll ever do anything, be anything.

Here’s the truth you can cling to.

Whatever’s happened, you’ve done it.

You decided.

The sooner you accept this, the sooner you stop beating yourself up and start living your life.

You know the Yoda line, “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Trouble is, you’re afraid of doing it ‘wrong’ or ‘badly’. Might make a fool of yourself.

You’re a divine spark of brilliance my friend and you know it but you’re afraid to shine a light because “what will people think of me?!”

I’m going to be the one to say it, give yourself a fucking break.

Not only is 100% of your worry not important, it’s totally meaningless, what matters is stepping out there, sharing stories and the wisdom you’ve learnt and making something of your life.

Don’t try, do – and accept it.

There are those people you just love to watch. 

You might agree with them, disagree with some of the stuff they say, but you simply can’t get enough of them.

Why?

Really.

Why do you like them? Is it what they say? Do you feel clever for being agreed with? Do they make things clearer for you?

No, I honestly believe it’s HOW they do it.

They’re entertaining.

They animate stories beautifully.

Big one – they aren’t scared nor do they bother over what people think of them.

They’re witty.

They’re confident.

They ooze charisma.

Here’s my question for you today. 

How can you bring your sparky personality to the table and leave no money on it?

Why are so many so embarrassed?

So secretive about inconsequential details?

Afraid to say what they’re doing for fear of reproach?

Every single person on Earth is ‘figuring things out’ as they go. No one can see all the way into the future.

We act in the present to create the life we want.

Guess what, people don’t care as much about what you say as you think.

No, people just want to hear honesty and clarity.

Do that and you’re a million miles ahead of most people.

Chaos

Drama

Confusion

Heartache

Resentment

OR

Joy

Peace

Wonder

Fulfilment

Satisfaction

Everyday you’re making decisions, whether you realise it or not.

From what I’ve observed, most people choose oblivion. Yeah, yeah. Dramatic I know. They have jobs they hate, or at least don’t like. They don’t see any other way and that seems to be the norm. 

Just because you haven’t chosen what you really want yet, doesn’t mean it’s too late.

I’m no longer in my 20s or 30s. In fact, I’m at the end of my early 40s. You can have what you want, you just need to do the work for it.

It’s a long, winding road, unforeseen bumps, uphill climbs and downward descents. You don’t know exactly what surprises are in store but keep coming back for more.

What you’re creating is how your life is going to be in perpetuity.

Make it fabulous!

I’m an idealist at heart.

And I have a massive streak of unbridled perfectionism in my personality. It’s something I am now reining in as much as possible.

It’s very easy to romanticise the past, to rewrite history even! It’s so tempting to remember the good (and why you won’t let go of things) and ignore the negative aspects of what you believe you want.

There is no ‘ideal’ because people want different things and, many times, we have to muck in with other people (or at least respect their boundaries) to keep the peace.

Being so sensitive in my life, I’ve hated people treading on my turf but priorities are the name of the game. What really matters?

Why say, then, that it could never been that way? Rewriting history means, in your mind, you could go back and make things different. 

Hindsight is a trap!

You are where you are.

You’ve done what you’ve done.

All you can do is behave better from here. 

Better? More peaceful, more productive, more principled.

I’ve lived life quite timidly.

I’ve lived gorgeously, wildly and flamboyantly too.

Looking at all the stages of my life, it’s all been necessary.

But growing balls for the next chapters, a necessity.

It’s scary getting specific but to have an impact and take action, you must.

I see so many terrified of making decisions – don’t want to miss out, agonising over the ‘right’ way, wanting everything to be perfect/just so.

Yeah, fuck that my love!

Growing balls = making decisions, following through and living in the wonderful flow of life.

It’s all fine.

You know, it’s time!

Everyone has an opinion. You do, I do, everyone does. No point denying it.

When people say “isn’t it a shame.” – it usually means one of two things.

It doesn’t fit in with their worldview.

They can’t let go.

To live a good life, I believe it’s essential to make everything as simple as possible and also to have priorities.

Take it from someone who knows, it’s impossible to be peaceful and productive if you’re flailing and flapping around trying to do a million things at once.

Believe me, there’s no shame in admitting there are things that aren’t your business or in your control.

There’s also no point in denying reality.

Start living your life.

Make things happen.

You know what this feels like.

I’ve had great trouble from holding onto so many destructive memories. I’ve held resentments, slights, traumas for many, many years, decades even. I’ve tried to figure people out.

Waste of time.

I’ve complimented myself for having a great memory and while that’s true (and useful in certain contexts), it’s also been a permanent dagger in my side.

Guess what I’ve done!

Let go – certainly!

Stopped cherishing certain ideas that boost my ego.

Increasingly (and this is a work in progress we all face) leaving people to their business.

Focusing on what matters – the beautiful connections with fellow human beings.

It doesn’t take much to clog your brain with bullshit. Take it from someone who knows!

I’ve described crazy outbursts when I’ve been so overwhelmed as ‘emotional epilepsy’.

I want peace. I also want productivity.

How?

Focusing on what I really want, figuring out the strategies and, with greater investment and immersion,

Doing the thing.

We all want to be right. You know you need to admit it.

When you observe the language people use, even when they don’t know what they’re talking about, you’ll realise just how much people want to be right and, from the outside, appear to want to attack.

Most people are living in houses built on sand. Their foundations are not solid because, frankly, they’ve believed what they’ve been taught, totally unquestioningly.

And remember, this can be big and small stuff.

I’m giving you permission to assume, when you speak with anyone assume they’re not really having a conversation with you, they’re biding time to get their point in.

It’s why self-assurance is vital, the more confident I am and the more peaceful I feel, it’s far more enjoyable to listen to other people, to learn and, frankly, support people.

Believe me, the temptation is real to block people when they say ‘hurtful’ things but, actually, it’s really good fun to not block and realise it doesn’t matter.

More power to you.

YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL, IN THAT WAY.

You’re surprised by this title!

Everyone wants a title or syndrome these days.

“As a lactose-intolerant man……” (I actually got this other day).

“I am autistic.”

“I have ADHD.”

“I’m fat and ugly but I’m going to call myself non-binary instead.”

No no, you don’t have an enzyme (just like tens of millions of other people in your country), no you’re not autistic, your friends are just shit, you’re severely bored listening to a crap teacher.

You want titles for victimhood? What a way to build a fulfilling life.

No, the only things that will make you special (stand out) will be to make a valid and truthful contribution. 

And, you know, I used to think that anyone could do this, nah, very few will actually do it. Probably more are capable but it will never happen because the drive and the work ethic aren’t there and too much fear too.

If you’re reading this, be honest with yourself.

How much do you really want it?

Oh so very frightening!

Not knowing the answers.

Not having every detail battened down.

Not knowing where you’ll be if you don’t succeed.

All sounds like wonderful excuse-making for procrastination!

No, my friend, start. Honestly, I wish I had but we don’t live in regret.

We get going.

Start.

I’ve talked a lot about control and responsibility recently.

I’ve made some very humbling discoveries in the last few weeks but I’m grateful for them. 

We all want to live better lives.

Knowing what you’re in control of and what you’re not is crucial if you’re going to let go of the things holding you back.

If you don’t let go you will never…….

Have good relationships.

Forgive yourself for past impulses.

Have the presence of mind to focus on what matters.

What’s done is done and cannot be undone

BUT

It can be a valuable lesson learned.

If you won’t let go, it means you’re….

Beating yourself up – That’s going to work!

Divided about which way to move.

It’s the past, get present!

Well, very little actually!

We’re told to zoom out and look at the big picture, fair point, but many take this to extremes believing they have influence over things that are so far removed from their lives they may as well be on another planet.

No, local is good.

People obsessed with going on holiday yet saying it wasn’t long enough when they return home.

Focusing on politics they have no control over.

Despairing at tragedies in the world that have already happened.

We haven’t invented time-travel yet? Ha! Many are perfectly happy to try and rewrite past events in their lives and in other peoples’.

Human connections – those are what really matter!

Helping people who want to help themselves – those count.

Joy, being in the real world, beautiful adventures – fan-bloody-tastic!

My blog post subjects are very spontaneous. Whatever I’m thinking on the day, that’s what I write.

I know many will read this in the future and think “why did he not talk about this event or that tragedy or whatever political movement?”

No control. No interest. I am for peace.

If you believe that electing in or ousting out a politician will improve your life, you have so much to learn. Your politicians and so-called leaders have already been selected and you endorse the illusion of voting them in. The most recent three Prime Minsters here in England weren’t actually voted in by the people. 

You have enough to contend with in your life and doing what you can do.

Start embracing the flux of the pantomime of society.

What are you doing with YOUR day that makes a genuine, positive difference?

Aren’t people ever so confused why they’re not granted admittance to stuff!

I used to devour several peoples’ content, longing for it, waiting for the next instalment until I realised this…….

They just want the attention, even though they say they don’t. It’s not to say they don’t have noble intentions as well. They do, they’re good people but they have massive egos too.

So when they complain that they won’t be ‘platformed’ by various outfits, I can only think, “well, if you were in their position, you’d do the same.”

Always cognisant that life is inside-out, you have to take responsibility for yourself and the doors will open. It’s very simple but nigh on impossible for people to do, why?

Most people want to ‘right’, not peaceful.

If you constantly feel like an outsider, remember to ask yourself, am I being reasonable first.

YOU KNOW.

You know what you’re doing.

You know what you’re avoiding.

You know that you can be better.

You know you can do better.

The real question is this, what are you willing to sacrifice to make your life actually be rather than how you imagine it?

Self-discovery is an experiment. It’s an adventure.

You will never know exactly what you’ll find. You won’t know everything you’ll change your mind about.

It’s actually not about ‘creating’ a self. It’s embracing yourself.

The truth. That’s the name of the game. Who are you really? How do you want to live your life?

I’ll tell you something, you’ll never live your best life by lying to yourself. If the truth is the name of the game, then authenticity is your middle name and bravery your surname.

Switch the light on, start letting yourself see…..

Yourself

Your Mission

Your unique Message.

‘TRYING’ IS OH SO TRYING!

I went into the local shop on my way home yesterday.

A mother was with her two daughters, one was acting out to her mild annoyance.

She was being quite vocal about it (the mother).

Daughter was quite loud too!

“You’re acting like you’ve never been in this shop before.”

“You’re bugging me.”

What’s the truth, huh? We don’t like being shown up!

The little girl wasn’t doing anything particularly naughty or out of the ordinary. Her mum just didn’t agree.

Parents don’t dislike their children. Yeah, yeah. We believe parent and child relationships are pure. Yeah, yeah. Grow up my dear, wake up and smell the coffee.

In my slightly pessimistic way, I could only think two things.

1) The ‘damage’ is being done to that child – already her enthusiasm is being dampened.

2) The way the mother was behaving, in such a public place and in such a public way was embarrassing. Referring to her daughter like she wasn’t there to the rest of us in the shop, when her daughter was at her side.

It’s oh so trying what you try and make anything situation something it isn’t.

A multitude of questions always run through my head in these situations, in many situations!

Take Twitter as another example. I see so many people tweeting trying to sound clever but they misuse words because they don’t actually know their meanings. And call me grammar nazi or call me annoying but it’s my job to point this out.

If someone doesn’t know what they’re talking about, I now say it.

The truth and beauty of language are what matter to me.

Prend Gard a toi! (Look this up if you don’t know what this means).

Everything you do becomes a part of you.

They are recorded, illustrated and downloaded into your soul.

Inescapable, irrefutable, internalised.

The same goes for that wee small voice of the child you started out as.

We neglect this child at our peril.

Your inner child wants to be heard, nourished, appreciated and protected. Now, ideally, that happens with your family but parents are people too and everyone has some story of how they feel hurt or neglected by their parents or other close relatives.

It’s my firm belief that most ‘adults’ are simply teenagers (at best!) in grown-up bodies. They don’t progress beyond the ‘why can’t I just have this’ stage.

If you want to be a powerful and positive person, you need to look after your inner child by being…….

Lively

Playful

Curious

Nurturing

Energetic

Inquisitive

Unapologetically You!

Call me childish if you like.

Call me naive or foolish.

But you know I’m right.

Standards are judges.

We all have urges but we always have to deal with the consequences of what we’ve done.

The title of this post is inspired by a snippet of a dream I had last night. Funnily enough, I was discussing Eurovision with a famous Women’s rights activist in the dream and I woke up with the title in my head. 

Maybe, you’re going to call me woo woo.

Maybe, you’ll think this man is airy-fairy

Even writing it, I question myself (but I write my thoughts anyway)

I know that my life is better when I focus on certain things. I’ve always been positive, I’ve always been optimistic and, to some degree, I’ve always been grateful – in light and dark times. I believe it’s my character.

But recently, I’ve started developing a different dynamic that ‘everything should sing together.’

What springs to mind when you hear the word ‘unity’?

Does it sound flowery or flimsy?

Do you think of the culture wars and ‘inclusivity’?

Or, can you allow yourself to associate it with traits such as integrity or solidity?

I definitely see it as the latter.

Will everyone agree on everything? No, definitely not, that’s not how the world works. Often people disagreeing with you can be an incredible bonus – to enlighten you and see how you can live better. Yes?

United we stand, divided we fall. Do you apply this principle to yourself?

From what I can see, many people are at war with themselves and they have a desire for external war as it fits with their world view. Believe me, I’ve been at war with myself many a time but I’ve always ultimately recognised it and thrown that shit out of the window.

Life is meant to be uplifting. I said it.

We’re not meant to be rummaging around in despair and destruction. We’re meant to be creating beautiful things, experiencing love and connection with other humans. Will we get on with everybody? No, we won’t but we can still wish people well.

Ask yourself this – do you feel good when you don’t feel good for other people. Radical acceptance allows you to walk away from those who don’t want good for others but wishing good for them means you feel good and you spread that.

Are you choosing love?

Or are you choosing division?

We all have a need to belong.

I’ve been back in my hometown now for almost a year and I’m not going to lie, when I first arrived here, I felt rather out of place. Pleased! Most definitely because everything was the same, basically 

BUT

Everything was different. I am different. Living somewhere totally new and different for over 20 years will have that effect.

There are still things that I love now about where I grew up that I loved back then but there are new things that I want as well, naturally. I was a teenager when I left, now I’m in my 40s.

You are always in some kind of gap, a transitional period. I mention my 40s. Next year I turn 44, which is the first year of Mid-40s. You might be in your 20s, reading this, your 30s, 40s, 50s, even older. 

First you notice where you are.

Then you acknowledge (a sound that you’ve heard what’s going on)

Finally, you admit what you want. 

It’s a brave path to negotiate because in what you want, you admit there are new things you will have to do that you’ve been avoiding.

It’s not a hardship, it’s an adventure. If you choose to see it that way.

What can you control?

What can’t you control?

Answering these two questions will unlock a world of freedom. You’ll realise there is very little you can control. It’s a good thing.

Many confuse talking about with doing something about.

Speaking satisfies the need of the ego to have an opinion.

Doing satisfies the need of soul to be free.

What actually are you doing?

What is your unique purpose?

What are you called to do in life?

What difference can you actually make?

Remember that whoever you meet wants you, deep down, to agree and contribute to ‘their thing’. Sometimes you can (when it aligns with your values), most often you can’t (because it won’t make a positive difference).

Learn to be discerning.

Learn to be sophisticated.

Learn, fundamentally, to let go.

The need to speak is strong in all of us. 

There is so much to say.

We often fell left out, unheard, irrelevant.

But is it true? You have to ask yourself this!

Remember, everything is a mirror. If you need listening to, others do as well. Do you understand?

The truth is, you know what you think. You think it all day, every day.

The great advantage of listening, actually listening, is your nearest and dearest, in fact total strangers too, will likely feed back issues and problems and challenges they have that will match your own and when you think to yourself “how would I solve this?”, you ultimate get the answers you need.

Believe me, I’ve overthought and over-analysed so much! Relentlessly, that it’s been a very covert form of procrastination.

Your need to speak is because you want to be accepted by others. Wrong way to start. Start accepting yourself, let go of what you couldn’t change or influence and be there for people. 

That generous energy will automatically transform you.

Death!

War!

Torture!

Illness!

Riots!

Aren’t people drawn to the most bizarre of things, maudlin and sinister ideas.

It’s so baaaaad for the soul.

How often do you pay attention to the…….

Joy of living?

Beauty of the world?

The kindnesses you witness?

The free and liberated decisions you make?

The potential and boundless opportunity of your life?

Likely not as often as you should.

Find goodness in people.

Find goodness in random acts of kindness.

Congratulate and appreciate those near and dear to you and, above all, treat strangers as friends you haven’t yet met.

We’re supposed to be together – you make the first move.

And it’s even more incredible what we believe about ourselves.

I am absolutely convinced that there is nobody in your life that beats yourself up more than you do.

It sounds so clichéd, you’ve probably heard it a thousand times but would you say the things you think about yourself to someone else? Would you?

I realise I’ve been incredibly impatient with myself, so therefore others. Most behaviour and belief is projection. We try to see things from other peoples’ point of view but it’s very difficult.

Self-improvement is popular because, deep down, we want to do better and get on with things more easily, more simply, but that’s very difficult too. It’s a massive process, lifelong frankly which is why you need to be invested in the process.

A big mission for me right now, the only one frankly, is to be more relaxed, more patient and more forgiving (of myself and others).

What’s done is done.

Start focusing on what you can do now.

I’m here if you need a helping hand.

Spontaneity is a beautiful thing.

Freedom means to make choices for yourself and enjoy the results of your decisions.

I live very close to the famous Peak District Market Town, Bakewell – home of the famous Bakewell Tart (though I am the Bakewell tart, he he!). I took myself there yesterday, on the bus.

After getting some things I needed (and wanted), there was a little wait ’til the bus home. So I took myself to a beautiful corner cafe (with an equally charming gift shop attached to it) and had a delicious double espresso.

As I sat and watched the world go by out the window, I felt incredibly lucky and despite the act being a simple one, I sipped my drink with glee. It was so exciting (to quote The Sound of Music) to be out in the world, to be free.

What the world is and how you respond to it is entirely your choice. There will be people you follow on Social Media or culture whom you consume and consume, over and over until you realise that it’s down to you to shape the course of your life.

Any state, misery, frustration, excitement, hope is down to you. You have to invest your time and energy in what really matters, what you are actually able to control. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, find the joy and excitement in it. What you focus on multiples and you’ll be amazed at the rewards come your way. 

Do this today!

I’ve wasted so much time trying to figure out other people.

What is he thinking?

Why did she do that?

What are they thinking about me? – big one!

Where are YOU in the equation?

Are your needs being met?

How are you interacting with other people?

Are you getting things right?

Always remember though, it’s your life, you can have what you want 

BUT

Are you willing to drop your ego and admit that, indeed, you fucked up just as much as those you accuse?

What do you want?

Are you working towards it?

Are you offering anything special?

Truth is, you know what you want. That’s not the issue.

You’ve ‘tried’ things but you know what works for you.

Stepping out is the key.

Easy? Not necessarily.

But yesterday, I took myself to Sheffield, the city I spent most of my childhood in (dad worked there) and I had a wonderful time, filling the well, wandering around, people watching, having tea and coffee, did little bits of shopping.

Simple things, mundane things but eminently satisfying.

On the way back, recorded my video, got home, uploaded the video.

GETTING STUFF DONE, finishing.

I’ve started and stopped many times because I have great instincts but have lacked the follow through to let things go. Funnily enough, I was contacted by an old friend from a business course I did in London years and years ago, who is now promoting another affiliate programme and, to be honest, it made me shudder.

For me, winning at life is creating new things.

Ask yourself honestly, what is it for you? Go out and do it.

Yesterday, I spoke about being ‘ready’, which, of course, is a state you never get to.

We have so many thoughts that are not are own, yet we endorse them at our peril.

Remember, people plant seeds wherever they go as they want their own way. It’s very simple and obvious.

We wait for permission.

We wait for acceptance.

We wait for things to be perfect.

All code for fear.

Please observe the people around you, every single one. How many of them ask for your permission to take action?

Yes, that’s right, none.

Throw yourself in, do things your way, figure it out as you go.

It’s Your Life.

There’s no doubt about it, life can be very scary.

You may want to avoid and procrastinate and leave things ’til tomorrow but yesterday’s tomorrow becomes a new day and most will keep shirking. I’ve done it myself.

What I’ve learnt is to trust the scary things, they’re signals to living a better life and a more peaceful one. The agony of hanging around is far worse than the relief of being honest.

Being ready is just code for perfectionism. 

The point of life is to enjoy yourself AND to be brave.

Accept you’ll never have all the answers in place but, instead, that you have enough to get going and you’ll understand more as you go.

…..What you want?

What you have to offer?

Where you’re going in life?

The true nature of your character?

I will hold my hands up to say, yes, I have been a massive hypocrite. I’ve misread signals, I’ve rejected things that would have helped me, made quite a lot of excuses and, generally, been rather flaky.

BUT! 

Do you also know it’s never too late?

Never too late to learn the lessons.

Never too late to be humble and admit you ‘got it wrong’

Never too late to turn your life around and make it fucking fabulous!

Your mission for today, should you choose to accept it, is to take stock of your life, decide the direction for your life and take the first step you’ve been avoiding to 

MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!

I often wonder if I’m genuinely OCD. I have an obsessive need to know it all! But it frequently comes at the expense of true human connections.

Listening is hard, we need to speak – probably because we’ve not been listened to very well. It can all feel like a fight.

I must have all the answers, immediately if not sooner.

STOP!

LOOK!

LISTEN!

The whole world is not just about you but your experience is down to how you respond.

I’ve been a child, a fool, a lover AND a fighter, a questioner and, sometimes, a doer.

We’re all human you know and we have our weaknesses and our desires. Sometimes it feels overpoweringly frustrating when people don’t just know what we’re thinking and feeling and why they don’t behave in the way we want.

Stop being so shallow and stop being so entitled at the same time. Humility is where it’s at my friend. Really humility to accept that you’ve fucked things up necessarily and open yourself up to the solutions to stuff that are actually quite simple.

Be calm.

Be honest.

Have willingness.

Slowly and steadily, work your way through each experience. There is no race nor hurry. There is plenty of time.

Relax! And you’ll get more done. The Important stuff.

I got called a bully today! No, really.

For a variety of reasons, there was someone I blocked on Twitter/X and he took to my YouTube channel to tell the world and his wife that “Martin is a bully.” He also e-mailed me (subject line: Not OK) to say I was “aggressive and bullying.”

E-mail deleted and comments on YouTube videos hidden.

It’s gonna happen but I have no space in my life for that.

Of course, when people hear the word ‘border’ they will immediately jump to politics and fair enough but remember this…..

“No” is also a border. I’ve felt really bad about saying “No.” Honestly. I now fiercely defend my borders, what I’ll accept and what I will say no too. I notice people use the word ‘aggressive’ a lot now, it consistently happens when they don’t get whatever they believe to be their right/entitlement or their own way.

To defend your space takes courage, at least it does for me. Managing the energy in your life also requires principle.

I frequently think these things…….

What do I want my life to look like and be?

Who do I want to be?

How do I want to deal with things?

Safeguarding the conditions of your life is vital 

AND

It is okay for you to decide.

You’ll never please all the people all the time so choose for your own fulfilment and peace. 

People will be who they are. You do the same.

I increasingly dislike mentioning politics but goodness me! Every social media influencer has taken to Twitter/X to say how disgusted they are by the Olympics opening ceremony.

Yes, it’s laughable and an obvious fuck you to normal, traditional values but do you see the performative contradiction of spreading it far and wide so it’s all that people can see in their feeds?

No.

Start sharing beauty. We know the problems culture is facing but repeatedly reminding people of them will do no go other than to rouse anger.

It’s up to you to decide what your world looks like and what you see to be important.

Choose wisely.

Confession, I’ve liked to think of myself as a lover but I’ve largely been deluding myself.

There is a visceral satisfaction to feeling angry. For the briefest of moments it scratches the itch of you thinking you’re right about everything.

I’ve observed a lot of human nature and I believe I have a reasonable idea but, truth be told, I’ve chosen anger far more than I’d like to admit.

Love is acceptance. What’s happened has happened, how do you deal with it?

We get angry when we feel out of control.

We get more loving when we relinquish the idea of responsibility over things that have nothing to do with us or that we can’t change.

Question to ponder over the weekend – what are you in charge of? Do more of that!

I had a lovely chap leaving a very thoughtful comment on my twitter post today. He had clearly read the post and summed up what I had said very succinctly.

Even without the comment, you have no idea how beneficial sharing honest info with people can be. People are refreshed by honesty, they, like you, want to make sense of the world and learn how to live life better.

Deep down, I believe that’s what everyone is trying to do. With varying levels of success.

Share what you think.

Be brave.

You’ll become more confident and you’ll crystallise your belief system making you a strong communicator and able to solve any challenges that come your way.

Do you believe that life is harsh?

Do you believe that you’re hard done by?

Then I need to ask you a very important question.

What do you expect?

How do you truly view life?

Are you optimistic or pessimistic?

Are you hopeful or full of despair?

I don’t know peoples’ motives, I’ve accepted that now after decades of trying to figure them out but what I do see is the people who endlessly whine and complain about how terrible their lives are, they are not positive people and they are not faithful.

They appear to believe that life just happens to them, that they’re randomly drifting through space and there is no hope for them.

However, the people I see who have a great time of things, as entitled as it may sound, EXPECT good things to happen for them, they have FAITH that whatever hardships they face will ultimately be resolved. And when you take this advice, you will behave accordingly.

Put the message out, speak it out loud, write it, sing it, whichever way you prefer but have trust your faith will be recognised.

There’s a running theme in my content – of sorting things out. Putting everything in its place, enjoying being in the world as much as possible and dealing with difficulties as peacefully as possible.

Not easy but very rewarding and along the way, you’ll feel many different emotions.

Feeling upside down – confused

Disorientated

Purposeless

Aimless

Excited

Hopeful

Daunted

Angry – something I didn’t realise was such an issue for me!

I could go on.

Be patient.

Try new things.

Get the help you need.

My ex-boyfriend was very manipulative, psychologically and physically.

The long title of this post is something he said A LOT! It was his way of saying I’m not going to be around forever. He was always trying to extricate himself and, ultimately, he did – in very traumatic fashion. Ironically, something else he said a lot was “I’ll always be in your life.”

There are certain people who will want to leave their mark and from the things he repeatedly said, he tried to do that through other people. When we split, has father had been dead for almost 20 years, his mother almost 15 years. Couldn’t let them go. 

His precious boyfriend had died about a year and a half before we met. Couldn’t let go. 

His sister had died before his parents – couldn’t let go. His cousin before that. Couldn’t let go. Or should I say, wouldn’t.

Life is an endless series of choices. You’re choosing all the time. It’s all down to you. There were things I did while I was with my ex that I really should have said “No.” To, definitely. In my body and in my soul, I knew they were damaging for me but we can do crazy things to please other people. 

The key is learning to listen. My ex told me who he was by what he repeatedly said, what he did and what he didn’t do.

And in a funny way, I think he will always be in my life, if only mentally every now and then. I’ve learnt a great deal of valuable lessons from him. I’m grateful for him and I wish him well. He and I were not meant to be forever but I will tell you this,

Always be true to yourself.

Here goes! I’m an enormous control freak. My control-freakery manifests in ‘neatness’. Always tidying. I find it satisfying but also it wears me out and wastes my time.

There are also loads of ideas and plans and aspirations I’ve had in my head for such a long time it is very hard to let them go, even though I know they are not what I ultimately want for myself.

I believe we all have some degree of FOMO. We don’t want to burn bridges or cut ourselves off from rewards because we believe they will make us ‘happy’.

We don’t know what words actually mean – what is ‘happy?’ No, life doesn’t get better the more stuff we add in, it gets better when we strip away our unauthentic and long-held desires and destructive elements of our personalities.

If something is meant to happen, it will inevitably sort itself out WHEN we do good work, that fits our character and work ethic.

Freedom comes at a cost – responsibility and responsibility is a reward in itself because you 

a) get more decisive

b) achieve higher levels of peace

c) have the headspace to focus on your true dream!

I’m incredibly excited!

My sister arrives today to stay for a couple of days!

Not gonna lie, I have massive material aspirations, I like stuff.

But it’s nothing without people to fill it with music and laughter and wine and merrymaking.

Value the special people in your life. 

They won’t be around forever.

Let’s have a chat.

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that people have built their lives on sinking sand.

There’s nothing solid or firm about our belief systems anymore.

Fluid = good

Yes/No = bad

I have to say “YUCK!”

I have a wonderful river view from my flat but it is clearly defined by its banks. It flows prosperously but it knows where it is headed.

For years, I was afraid of spiders. Apparently men are more arachnophobic than women, maybe because we were off hunting on our own for most of history. It only occurred to me to embrace the presence of spiders when, after I had ridden the flat of them, I was constantly irritated by flies swarming in my face!

Now I see happy Mr. Spider as my friend, not my foe – and I leave him alone to carry out his divine calling.

If you’re feeling purposeless, it’s by design. The powers that be (whoever you you believe them to be), want you dependent, flowery and weak. They don’t want you solid, you’re no use to them if you don’t obey.

People assume they’re right and I think there is a great degree of intellectual lethargy. It’s hard to do proper thinking but think you must to understand your role in the world and then, hop to it, get up, stand up and get the job done – just like Mr. Spider, silky thin strands and eight wonderful legs to ensnare those wretched flies.

Saying No to bullshit doesn’t mean you can’t have symbiosis. We can work together, we just need to get over ourselves – our fear and our indecision.

I realise I’ve been talking about going into every situation fresh with an I-don’t-know-mind but we can small a rat and it’s okay to call it out when we have the eyes to see, the ears to hear and the will to speak the truth.

An Englishman’s home is his castle and I for one will build it on mighty, deep foundations of truth, love and beauty.

Everyone believes they’re right.

“It’s got to be this way because this happened then that occurred and I was told by someone there, it can’t be any other way.”

However! People struggle to even agree on the course of events, people argue over facts. They believe in ‘their’ truths.

Objectivity is hard.

My starting point? I know nothing. 

Fresh!

Or maybe a big one!

I was supposed to be going on a date today but he was a no-show.

I texted him in the morning to get a reply back saying “I’m feeling under the weather.”

I get it. 

People like the idea of stepping out but when it comes to it, they’re too nervous, too apathetic, too frightened. Perhaps they don’t even know what they want.

I’m exploring a few different paradigms at the moment – one of them freshness (as a vehicle for non-judgement and being a good listener), also commitment, making a ‘date’ and keeping it and finding the positives (AKA adventure) in every situation.

This chap and I were not meant to meet clearly but the hidden advantage is not allowing external circumstances to bring you down but, in fact, build you up and transform your character.

Watch this space!

I was watching a podcast this morning with a chap talking about false flags and how Muslims aren’t to blame for terror attacks.

We also see that Donald Trump has been shot at, supposedly.

Getting to the bottom of any of these things is nigh on impossible. 

It’s not really the point though. All these ‘events’ are so far away from our lives, so removed from relevance to our ‘day-to-day’ that we watch with interest to strengthen our concentration, to improve our capacity for reflection.

That’s what prayer is. It’s learning to centre and ground yourself

AND

Establish what’s important – i.e. what we are capable of controlling as sovereign individuals.

Focus man, focus!

We all have our dream of happiness.

Those things we fantasise about, long for, yearn for.

And I’m not saying they’re not validly aspirational. 

HOWEVER!

The external things are a RESULT of developing your character and doing genuine good in the world

AND

Realising that no matter your outer circumstances, you will never outrun yourself.

If you believe your material desires will bring you peace, you’re wrong.

Life is inside out and you have to sort yourself out.

Terms are so misinterpreted. I’m fascinated with the origin (or etymology) of words.

To be called idealistic these days implies you’re naive or simplistic but if you actually look at the word without the vulgar connotation, it means to follow an ideal.

What is the ideal for society? Well, of course, it’s to live in peace and harmony and love and to our secular ears, that can sound so saccharin and flowery. 

Truth is though, most don’t want freedom, they want fight, just observe their behaviour.

There is also the point that most have massive FOMO. They do not want to commit to expressing ideals that will put them out of the pack.

In order to have peace, you must renounce the ego and this reveals a great truth – most don’t want to be happy, they want to be right and I include myself in this. 

Many have said “Martin, you’re so intelligent.” but I don’t place intelligence as the highest trait. No, I’m training myself to be more humble – particularly when it comes to dealing with people. 

You have your wants, needs and beliefs. Believe me, so do I! And often I believe I am right when others are wrong. It’s rude and it’s impatient and it’s narrow minded. 

It’s very possible that a lot of this comes from people being afraid to say “I don’t know.” 

I’ve pondered the “I don’t know”-mind paradigm, and it has a lot going for it. Think about it, every conversation can be fresh if you admit you might not know. You can go into the discussion calmly and you won’t be in a rush or panicked or simply trying to prove you’re right. It removes unnecessary friction and lay the foundation stones for people actually arriving at the truth.

Doesn’t sound too bad, now, does it!

I know now more than ever that not only do I not have all the answers, I hardly have any but, rather than fear it, I’m learning to appreciate it as a great thing.

War appears just global factions trying to prove their point but, always remember, war starts in everybody’s heads, including yours and including mine.

The ideal? Go in Fresh!

I have the best balcony in my apartment block. It’s over the tunnel that leads from the front to the back of the building, and allows access to peoples’ carports or garages.

However, today, two cars parked at the far end of the stretch, leaving one car’s owner, with both doors open and the boot, struggling to get what appeared to be a folding chair into the back seat.

I hate to say it, friends, but I honestly gazed on in confusion thinking to myself “what the fuck are you doing?” and when said driver reversed to leave, she couldn’t manage it in one go, she had to return to her original position and try again.

I’ve got quite a bit of German in me (Mum’s side) – I like efficiency.

Don’t you just find that people are so confused they don’t really know what they’re doing anymore?

I’m aiming to simplify, of course, I admit that I love the excitement and drama of life and often create it.

I think for me knowing that whatever scenario I’m facing can be sorted out for the best is my current version of simplicity.

If you’re willing to throw yourself into the mud, you’re going to get messy. Living life on the garden fence is uncomfortable in itself because you’re never doing anything besides trying to stay safe (not an effective strategy).

Also worth remembering, whatever you’re facing there is absolutely a positive to draw from it, maybe several or even many.

Hanging onto hardships makes life oh so very complicated and irritating. Resentment does nothing positive for your soul.

Let go – simpler.

Growing up, my sister and I did a lot of dancing together, we made videos and in later years, even entered national competitions.

We danced Ceroc (a modern jive dance that, I believe, originated in Australia called Le Roc). We went to many classes where you learn the moves and when it comes to the end of the lesson, you ‘freestyle’.

We auditioned for a BBC show and had to put together a video. A cousin of ours asked,

“Do you choreograph it together?”

My sister replied, “No, he makes it up, I just follow.”

As a consequence, we developed a style, because we trust each other, a signature way of dancing and it made me think that it’s a great aim to life to have your own signature.

Are you bold?

Quirky?

Unapologetic?

Bit of a nerd?

Outrageous, flamboyant?

It’s your life, you cannot change other people, discussion often is a waste of time. Carry yourself with confidence, speak the truth and do life your own unique way.

You decide your life.

Living with circumstances can be incredibly tough.

There’s a reason for everything you’ve done. You have to accept it.

When things are hanging over your head, ask yourself this…….

Without this worrying thought, am I okay now?

The answer’s usually yes. Basically always. Because if something really terrible is happening, you’re totally immersed in the moment and you’re not thinking at all!

It’s all on you to sort stuff out. 

And you know what, you can do it!

I’ve confessed to you that I’m very curious, almost obsessively I’d say!

The irony isn’t lost on me, however, that it’s mostly a waste of time when I could actually be getting stuff done.

I’m the ‘madman’ wandering around the countryside talking out loud to myself but I don’t mind. I realise this is a trait of many entrepreneurial and creative people.

“Of course I talk with myself, sometimes it’s the only way to get any sense of things.”

We are oceans and universes of fuckupery, you and I both know it. 

But I’m getting that I’ve fallen off track and need to pick myself off the ground again, dust myself off and keep up doing these four magical things

DOING

MAKING
GROWING

CREATING

I encourage you, my dear friend, to do the same!

We’ve just had an election in the UK, you might have heard about it.

Even with the enormously reduced turnout, millions of people put their faith that ‘this’ time it will be different. This party will be able to sort out the country.

As Terry Pratchett wisely demonstrated in the Discworld series, Gods only have power because the masses believe in them, the more belief, the more powerful these people are. The politicians need us more than we need them.

I think it’s becoming clear now that traditional power structures have always been duplicitous and haven’t ever really had the populace’s good interests at heart.

But the cycle continues because many do what they’re told, they comply to not get in trouble and to be ‘accepted’ by the mob. 

I didn’t vote, therefore people will tell you that you have no right to complain. I now see that argument analogous with prisoners voting for their next warden, it’s freedom that matters and politics is the opposite of freedom and none of these people is coming to save you.

There we go, I did the unacceptable – I talked about politics. 

Do with this what you will.

I’m a very curious soul. I feel like I’ve been around a long time and I want to know it all. Everything. People have called me various things for this reason – voyeur, nosy, inquisitive, obsessive. The whole gamut.

One thing I’ve been thinking about recently is how we have come to be who we are. 

What has influenced us?

Who has had an impact on us?

How much do we really choose?

Which experiences have been most significant?

I believe that even before we born, we’re being shaped. Shaped on the experiences of our parents, what anxieties and hardships have they been through? Where are they from??

My father’s side of the family are completely English, going back hundreds of years, my mother’s side not English at all – Irish, bit of French, bit of German. It’s all got to have an effect, surely?

For whatever reason, it fascinates me and, perhaps, it can be the key to letting go of trauma and freeing yourself from influences and thoughts that are not even your own.

I do laugh at myself.

If you’re living properly, there’s going to be blowback. I guarantee it and it doesn’t mean that you’ve actually done anything seriously wrong.

Everybody wants to be involved.

Everybody wants to be a victim.

Everybody has a story.

With a few exceptions – that’s us by the way!

Keep on partying baby!

I have to be honest, the last few weeks, I feel like I’ve been carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I’ve taken some serious knocks, felt very disillusioned and, frankly, a little bit frightened about my direction in life.

I’m starting to learn, however, the vital importance of patience. It appears far more critical now than ever before. Now the thing with patience is it requires self-control, a mastery of your circumstances that can feel very fragile and uncertain.

People take regular jobs, earn their salaries, take their holidays because there’s a routine to it and someone else has done 99% of the thinking. Unfortunately, it means you relinquish a lot of freedom and, as I felt increasingly towards the end of my traditional working life,  you have to play by other peoples’ rules.

Stepping out on your own requires much wisdom that you will learn en route to your destination. I have to say I’ve slipped in my vision, things are rather blurry right now and I am really questioning just how authentic my aspirations are. It feels like a bit of a crisis but I also know I’m shedding a lot of long-held beliefs so I am not overly worried but my sleeping dreams are very vivid and, often, leave me feeling rather shaky when I wake up.

You can’t control the rate of unfurling and predicting how long it will take to unlock your dream state is a fool’s game. I fundamentally believe that the answers and courage come with time all you need to do is keep moving. Don’t let the darkness consume you, have faith and know that you’re closer to success at any time than you’re currently allowing yourself to think.

Stay Strong.

I’ve given myself some time the last few days.

The thing with the modern world is you’re always meant to be switched on. Notifications on your phone, giving permission for websites to track what you do elsewhere, people messaging all the time.

Pull up the drawbridge. People won’t like it, they will demand that you are always available, learn to say no to it.

I think a lot of people are simply nosy, they want to be involved, they (as we say here in England) want to stick their oar in.

Yesterday I didn’t blog, for a couple of days running I haven’t recorded any YouTubery.

Give yourself time. Allow your brain to decompress.

Everything is a process of becoming.

Go into everything knowing you can put everything in its place. Yes, things look chaotic or disorganised but don’t let yourself be passive. 

People talk about being out of the woods but you never fully know what’s around the corner. They’ll say “take care” or “be safe.”

Be BASED! 

Bold

Adventurous

Strong

Energetic

Determined

There are always going to be people who see the world differently than you. They have different principles (or actually no principles at all!), different wants and needs, different priorities.

You have to learn to leave them to it.

Put your own life together. 

Control only what you can control.

Eventually, the jigsaw comes together.

Bizarre as it sounds, gratitude can be very challenging at times!

The Christian message is that life is suffering. I have difficulty with this but there’s no doubt that endurance and perseverance are noble traits.

Can you honestly stare evil in the face and say you’re glad for it? Tough!

But if you can stand strong in the face of the lashing winds, you have every chance and hope of overcoming any hardship.

One step at a time is what I said yesterday, life gets messy and you have to pick up the pieces and march on.

Be glad for the harder times as well as the sweet times. Guess what it makes you – unstoppable!

There are some days where everything feels like an effort.

Hard work, people are piling down on you, no time to pause and take everything in.

One more step. That’s all you have to do.

Get a small job done.

Get a big job done. 

Finish what you’ve started.

Once you make that step you acknowledge that you can, that things are not as difficult as you thought, that you’re able, that you’re accomplished.

Building momentum in a positive direction is the key, that’s the goal. There’s so much stuff happening all the time, leave it to its business.

Just one more step, everyday, you’ll make your way.

I’ve been on the planet for well over four decades now! Incredible! Still here, people, still here.

I have hopes and dreams, aspirations, really irritating things I’ve been through, still here, people, still here.

There are many moments where I just want to scream. There is plenty of stuff that riles and annoys me. Not going to lie.

I’m probably a massive neat freak, I can stand mess, people pushing in queues (very English!), people dropping litter, cyclists! And, honestly, I just don’t get it. 

BUT!

You get to be the one to sort these things out. Yes, we pay taxes to employ people to do this stuff and when they don’t it you are perfectly entitled to think what the fuck! But what’s the outcome, what’s the result?

I know if I pick up the rubbish and put in the bin like a proper person, I’ve made the world more beautiful.

You can never force anyone to do anything, pointless even thinking it. People are trapped in their thinking and their shortcomings. That’s the life they’ve chosen.

If you’re still here – be the one to make the difference.

In my time, I’ve pondered the idea of permission a lot.

Always asking permission

Not wanting to bother people

Not wanting to ‘get in the way’

They’ve actually been huge, recurring themes and, I have to admit, ridiculous sources of stress.

You’ll hear people say “Oh! You can’t do that” and variants of it, including the oft used “what gives YOU the right?”

Another persistent theme I observe is those that make demands are the least likely to discuss or negotiate anything (and the most fucking annoying!).

I believe there are inherited ideas in all of us that ‘the powers that be’ or the ‘they’ people, the overlords, the cabal, the new world order, whatever you call them, that the overarching spectre wants us SMALLER. We, somehow, want to tow the line, not draw attention to ourselves, that we want to be ‘good, little boys and girls.’

Stay in your lane.

Who do you think YOU are?

Who made you judge and jury?

I remember a teacher of mine telling me not to be so ‘self-satisfied’ when I had done well in a piece of work.

You’ve heard it all too, just like me.

Sometimes, certain things you want to say just seem really scary. Pushing the send button on that e-mail letting someone know your feelings can feel unimaginably daunting but regardless…

Give yourself the permission.

I’ve avoided a lot of strengthening decisions because I didn’t want to land someone else in ‘trouble’ or discomfort. You can’t live that way because you’ll live your own life. You have to leave other peoples’ lives to themselves.

If it’s scary, that’s normally a great sign to jump in!

So, my friend, you CAN do that!

“You’re a loser.”

“You’re pathetic.”

“You’ve achieved nothing.”

“You’ll never amount to anything.”

The fucking things we say about people, honestly.

Everyone feels slapped by reality and we wonder why men get lost in things like video games – there is a sense of satisfaction, achievement and mental accomplishment.

Are we so cruel that we can’t see how people are struggling?!

And the people who make demands of what we should be doing – is there any willingness to discuss anything? No.

You know the tune – “It’s my party and I’ll blog if I want to, you’d write blogs too if shit happened to you!”

Yep, I turn 43 today. I am spending it, physically, on my own but you know what, you’re never really alone.

You have memories to reflect on.

Pondering what you’ve done in the last year and what you still aim to do.

You might feel a bit ‘older’ – a little more tired.

Yes to some of this for me, no to the rest.

We all go through adventures and challenges. Life would be tremendously boring otherwise. And while I know it’s not traditional to make resolutions at Birthday (wishes are the order for going ‘up’ a year) but I know what I want.

More peace.

More positivity.

More productivity.

Here endeth the post, I am going back to drinking my champagne!

There are great days and there are harder days.

The secret – keep going. This time too shall pass and there are brighter moments to enjoy.

You can do it!

Yep, Nigel Farage is going to save Britain, singlehandedly, because he has that power.

The urge, the powerful, irrepressible urge to believe that he’s the answer. That Trump is the answer. That, even as a Brexiteer myself, leaving the EU will be the answer. Yes, they’re probably steps in the right direction but no one or no thing is coming to save you.

It’s all various forms of paradigm thinking, of status quo up-propping, of believing what you’ve been told as gospel truth.

Divide and rule

Bread and circuses

Diversion and subversion

I’m not here to announce that you’re the Messiah, that you’re going to be the one to make the ultimate difference.

BUT

To quote Michael Jackson, “I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror.”

Expect nothing from anyone, they’re too busy trying to make their own way through.

Yes, my friend, it has to start with you.

Scratch that itch.

Want to start a mini project? Do it. 

I watch so many interviews and podcasts and read so many different articles and the common denominator is that people don’t regret the stuff they HAVE done but that which they haven’t.

Funnily enough, I started watching an Andrew Tate podcast yesterday and it was all shouting and ‘you’re a loser’ and to, fine, if you’re into perpetual ‘fight’ and ‘attack’, you go for it but when you’re so obsessive that you can’t actually appreciate anything or have gratitude, then it’s not for me.

Dream, build, have fun, do the stuff that brings you joy and peace!

Most of the peoples of the world are followers. I’m not saying this as a criticism nor a judgement, it’s just an observable fact.

I think a lot of people live in fantasy worlds of their own making, wanting to build something, propping up the status quo by believing they’re oh so virtuous and original, day dreaming about a life they will probably never live.

Harsh, Martin! Harsh. Okay.

You may want to build but are you captain of your own ship, creating a culture and a fresh vision of how the world, even in a small way, could be better?

It’s really important to dig deep in yourself and ask what truly motivates you.

I’ve been through peaks and troughs, highs and lows, periods of great productivity and times I’ve needed to cocoon myself and get crazy amounts of sleep – I sometimes laugh at myself because I am turning 43 in a matter of days and I still feel like a teenager. I think it’s quite a common thing to feel lesser than your years. Ask most and they’ll tell you they still think and feel like they’re young.

I believe being captain of your own ship means a couple of things.

One, that you’re the one in control, responsible for making the decisions, whether minor or major.

Two, that you embrace the adventure – and certainly this, for me, means that you learn to have fun with it, no matter what’s happening. Seeing everything as a gift that propels you forward and a sign that you’re resilient as fuck. Unstoppable. This is a word that echoes in my head frequently. I try to be as determined as I can be, as much of the time as possible. Not always easy and it’s not 100% of the time.

In one way or another, we’re always navigating through some kind of uncertainty, stormy waters, feeling directionless, lacking purpose. But it passes. The realities of life are never quite as bad as you contemplate them in your mind’s eye.

Laugh your way through, find the joy wherever and whenever you are. Keep on keeping on.

Some days are better than others, you’ve been through it.

I like to get to my post out as early in the day as I can but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.

Like today.

Today my body needed rest, A LOT of rest and I gave myself that gift.

Now I am writing this and it will go out – getting the work done is the most important thing.

When unusual circumstances hit – keep going!

You’ve got it in you.

Fears are so much worse in your head.

Whatever you’re facing is never, ever as bad as you THINK it is.

I’ve read so many books, watched so many podcasts, read so many tweets and posts all over the internet and everyone who goes through hard times (and there is some serious shit that people have been through), they are always grateful to have experienced the hardest of times.

There is adventure everywhere and, if you grow a set, you can use whatever happens to your advantage……

To be stronger

To be more stoic and philosophical

To be unstoppable!

Carry yourself with dignity and poise and face the adventure head on.

Everyone wants their own way AND everyone believes that their position is the right one.

It goes for everything, people are tied to their jobs, their personal lives, their political opinions, their food habits, exercise preferences.

And believe me, I understand that it’s all for serious reasons. Nothing’s random.

Always remember though, that just because the wind howls, you don’t have to fall!

Most often, I have a title for these posts that springs into my head and I think to myself ‘Yes! That’s a great topic.’

Sometimes, though, it doesn’t happen that way. 

‘I don’t know what to write today.’ – which obviously we know is bollocks because we have universes of info to impart!

In a recent encounter, someone asked me ‘what do you want to do?’ and I responded, very sincerely, that I didn’t know. The man laughed, not nastily, but I genuinely think he was surprised to hear someone being so honest.

Don’t be afraid to admit the truth.

We none of us has all the answers. It’s a great place to start and progress by asking great questions.

If I had been given £1 every time I have heard this question asked, I would be a very rich man by now.

Sorry though friends, people ask the wrong questions.

When you hear someone ask “can I trust you?”, they’re not asking about your trustworthiness, it’s code……for will you AGREE with them.

Here’s why. 

The way most people live is outside in, they believe there are external forces responsible for their lives, they search out rather than look in for the inspiration they need. They also believe that the world is someone else’s fault or job to deal with.

Nope.

I will offer this small defence that people also ask this question because they are frightened of the outcomes of their actions and interactions. They lack self-belief because they focus on other peoples’ movements.

Learn to trust yourself.

You know, I write these posts on a daily basis and I put them on my website, as a post on YouTube, Facebook/Instagram and Twitter.

Even for people who read them, they don’t really read them. It’s all very cursory and surface level interaction.

From such, turn away.

Today marks the 138th Anniversary of my idol’s – King Ludwig II of Bavaria – death. He was fabulous, most notable for building Schloss Neuschwanstein in the Bavarian Alps, model for the Disney castle. He also enabled Wagner to get all his operas out.

Ludwig was not average. He dreamed crazy dreams and did stuff.

I am not average, I still have ways to go but have already done much stuff.

And there’s You. Don’t be average, be awesome.

Read the posts properly, take your time and don’t just like them because you want something out of some body.

Learn from every experience. Therein lies the path to greatness!

I had a very feminised upbringing. 

Being surrounded by women all the time, things were rather chaotic.

The biggest lesson I’m learning now is to say ‘No’ – to define boundaries and stick to them – I’ll be honest, I find it very, very difficult.

So, I often feel rather trapped and neurotic, anxious too.

It’s all a process of unlearning for me. Getting stronger (i.e. being more decisive and feeling GOOD about it) and, frankly, feeling like I’m doing it all alone is very tough and slow and laborious.

Because of all this, I have subjected myself to………

Massive over-analysis

Feeling paranoid much of the time

Pretty much constantly scanning for ‘threats’

Thinking of, and actually referring to, myself as ‘the crazy ex-girlfriend!’

Welcome to the true insights of my discombobulated mental state, people. I’m not going to hide it nor will I sugarcoat it.

We all have our hangups.

We’re all fucked up in one way or another.

My current method is to isolate myself from people which I know is not a viable, longterm strategy. I am aware of it and I’d like to get out there more with other people, honestly though, I retreat from it because, right now, I find most people just too irritating to talk with and spend time with. I feel my blood boiling most of the time.

So, with this post, I am not going to offer the solutions I normally would, I’m just detailing the lay of the land for you.

Do remember this though, if any of what I’ve said even slightly resonates, you are not alone.

That’s right, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.

Is it possible that people have forgotten how to communicate properly?

Is it possible you don’t know how to ask a question anymore?

So many I encounter now, simply make assumptions.

Please stop it.

Maybe it’s laziness?

Maybe people aren’t actually bothered?

But if you want to have good relations with people, ask about them.

To be interesting, be interested.

And when I say you get to have things your way, I mean it.

I’ve spent a lifetime not wanting to get in the way, not wanting to bother people.

It’s about respect you see, people will tell you that you can’t do things but then proceed to do whatever the hell they like.

Sure, they object.

Sure, they seem annoyed.

Sure, they will paint their own picture of the situation.

But it ain’t your problem.

Go out there and be bold.

Define your own parameters.

Define your own strong borders.

Define what you will accept and what you’ll reject.

Maybe I sound like a broken record BUT it truly is your life.

Be honest.

Be hot and spicy!

Be your own person. 

Live your own life, it’s yours to live!

That’s right folks, I’m cocooning right now.

Being close to turning 43 this month, I’m just starting to fully realise just how much bullshit I’ve put up with from people and not just that but make excuses for them.

Time to drop that.

I am all for people leading their own lives.

I’m leading mine too.

People always seem very judgmental when I tell them I have no friends but I would far rather strength myself and attract the best possible allies to me than put up with selfish people who don’t care about me in return.

Adopt the powerful stance.

I’m learning to unlearn. It’s bloody difficult but it’s funny.

I often feel like I’m some mad, crazy character from a cartoon, I honestly do but it keeps life interesting.

Here’s what I’m currently unlearning…..

Guilt

Anxiety

Perfectionism

Not wanting to bother people/asking permission

That there’s a way I should behave at any given age.

Not exhaustive but the main things.

Honestly, learn to laugh at the so-called madness.

For fuck’s sake, put things in perspective.

Be kinder to yourself.

Be calmer.

My darlings, it’s all a game!

Your life is always shifting, everyone’s is. It’s why things can seem so fucking confusing!

It’s all part of the process.

I often think I’m a totally crazy bitch! I do things that I reflect on in the aftermath,

“Martin, you are so impulse!”

Truth is though, an enormous part of my conditioning is feeling guilty, as a result of living most my life as a people-pleaser and peacemaker, neglecting my own needs. When I step out boldly, which I am making more common, these feels still surface.

An important lesson is to stop justifying yourself all the time. I struggle enormously with this, with time I know it will get better.

Observe other peoples’ behaviour, how often do they ask permission? That’s right, very little. Give people a dose of their own medicine, that’s the stage I’m at now.

Extrapolate out the logical conclusion of their thinking for them – show them what they’re doing, hold a mirror up to them. You’ll find they don’t like that very much, usually because they want their own way, all the time. I don’t blame such behaviour, people are so indoctrinated and conditioned.

BUT!

Don’t let it make your life smaller, make your life bigger and better. It may always seem like chaos but that’s because you’re expanding (in a good way, don’t get lumpy and lard-arsed!) and you’re exposing yourself to new ways of being.

It’s good.

It’s great, actually.

But it’s unfamiliar – more good, more great!

You may think that by the way I talk, I’ve got my shit together!

I’m doing pretty well but believe me, I do not have all the answers, I do not live my life in complete peace, there are things I enjoy and things that piss me off. Human being here, in flux, figuring things out.

I’ve got a thing going on right now where I am contacting/people are contacting me from my past. Last night I got a a reply on Facebook from a chap I went out with 2014/2015 kind of time. I messaged him about a month ago.

We are having a proper chat very shortly but last night we exchanged text messages on WhatsApp and I just found myself offloading about various things that are going on.

You can’t repress everything that’s happened in your life, that you’re struggling with, that you want to be better without severe consequences coming your way.

They say when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Let it flow from you, the fear of being vulnerability will be enormously quelled when you surrender yourself to it.

And, always remember, when you need it, you can ask for help, explore the ways that work for YOU.

It’s a beautiful weather day today.

It’s warm, lovely comforting breeze, bright. The river and the trees look wonderful. Fabulous!

Some days, you will not feel this way.

It is crucial you remember that, in darker times, you can recall the better days to know that whatever you’re going through, this too shall pass.

We live in flux.

We live in uncertainty.

We live in light and dark.

Let your light shine out, no matter what the circumstances, you are living your life!

You’re making a cup of tea, or coffee perhaps. For the sake of this example, you take either with sugar and milk. Everything goes into the cup, you boil the water, you mix everything up.

What does the initial mixture look like? 

Well, at first it’s a bit of a mess, yet it forms beautiful swirly patterns, the dark brown becomes caramel-coloured, and, with the same ingredients, you stir and stir until it all comes together.

Such is life.

There are so many ingredients, so many influences and every time you add the same contents, you will get a slightly different version each time.

It’s okay. You can’t control all the aspects, maybe one day you have a slightly sweeter tooth and you add more sugar, maybe another day you want it stronger so you add a double dose of tea/coffee or less milk.

Learn to be flexible, everything is coming together, you just need to do your part and keep stirring until you get to your desired stage.

You’re figuring things out – give yourself a break – a tea or a coffee break!

Tired of hearing people say

“Yes, we’ll look into that.” 

Or

“Absolutely, we can do a consultation.”

Or

“We can ask ‘him’ about it.”

Yep, me too. Sometimes you just have to make the decision and deal with peoples’ disapproval. Most love the idea of things, of talking about them, or wishing for certain outcomes but never do anything about it. 

The longer you leave things to fester, unchanged and inconvenient, the harder it will be to break free from the monotony of it all.

Grab life by the balls. Temporary discomfort always passes more quickly than you fear.

There are so many things we believe matter. There’s a computer game I play, a full motion video interactive experience and many of the characters are German.

It always reminds me of when I studied German at school and the teacher pulled me aside to tell me, “Martin, if you really revise, you can get an A!” Even at the time, it didn’t particularly bother me and now, I realise it doesn’t matter at all.

Much of what we learn is pointless, no, really. All those maths lessons you poured over and learning dates and events of so-called history, continental shift in Geography, how much of it have you actually used or has proved to bolster you as a human being?

That’s right, very little.

What matters, you’ll release as you get older, is integrity, being true to your own path, understanding there are so many more ways of achieving your most heartfelt desires other than the prescribed method.

Just, as I often say, keep going. There’s still plenty of time AND you can still win!

Hold up your principles, get down to work. This is the way.

I’m at the stage of life where I don’t want to waste any time and where I certainly want peace and focus. 

You have to immerse yourself in the right kind of energy. And the friend that I’ve been mentioning, have a guess, it’s descended again into the same old backbiting and insult hurling. Not only am I not surprised, I’m actually pleased that I stood up for myself, and let the criticisms roll of my back like a duck in water.

It’s up to you how brilliant you want to be (and you can be brilliant by the way!).

It’s down to you to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.

You know, deep down, that it’s always your choice and when people yell at you what they resent in themselves, yeah, it feels a bit unpleasant but allow it to stop you? Neh.

Keep going my friend and stick to your principles, you deserve good friends, you deserve a good life.

It’s all up and down to you, my friend. 

If what people say is anything to go by, most live life assuming it’s someone else’s fault.

For the last few weeks, I have been really exploring the idea that no matter how much people complain about the various events, responsibilities and relationships they have, there is always one or many ways that they are benefitting. 

Otherwise, why would they put themselves in such situations? You probably sense, and you’d be correct, that I have observed and experienced this A LOT in people and, for a very long time, tolerated it.

We are all subject to our conditioning. Strengthening yourself is not a neat, linear process. Far from it, it is a messy process. My gift (and honestly I don’t know where it comes from) is observation and, ultimately, calling bullshit on dysfunctional behaviour.

It’s why I currently have no friends. In the past, I have been heavily criticised for being honest – not because honesty is wrong but because people don’t want to hear the truth. Hardly anybody does. I just know that my life has immeasurably improved from the stuff I initially didn’t want to admit to myself.

Years ago, there was a meme that many-a-time did the rounds on Facebook saying “The Truth will set you free but first it will piss you off.” – true but, frankly, from what I’ve seen, I’d state it a lot more vociferously!

The Truth will set you free but first it will annihilate your ego so brutally you won’t know where you are!

The Truth hurts at first because you finally realise it’s always been your responsibility, your choice and your decision to behave the way you have. It’s too much for most to bear. So they remain stuck.

“I really like this friend BUT……” Nope, not allowed.

“I like spending time with him BUT HE….” Nope, not allowed.

“She’s really fun BUT SHE….” Nope, not allowed.

Try to change other people and find out how much fun that is! You cannot endlessly pull at threads and expect the garment to stay intact.

Tomorrow, we go into my birth month and my rationale is clear.

Accept people as they are, WITHOUT COMPLAINT or don’t spend time with them. I only want solutions and nice things.

Please call me brutal, harsh, naive, selfish, childish, unreasonable – I’ve heard these all before and many more – all from the mouths of people who spend vast swathes of time criticising so-called friends. 

Far easier it is to think that others should change or mentally beat them up than face the reality that you always have a choice to sort yourself out. Escape the victim mentality.

Easy? No.

Worth it (as the adult thing to do)? Most Definitely!

Making real strides in life is messy, there’s no getting away from it.

We all have our baggage.

We all have the things we don’t want to admit – to ourselves and others!

Are you wishing you life away thinking your circumstances should be different?

One powerful feeling I’ve felt is that I’m always starting over, that I can easily abandon things and never get anything done.

The results speak otherwise.

Does your path always follow the trajectory you thought it would? No, it doesn’t but do you learn something new at each stage of your mission? Yes, you do, at least you can start to focus on the great lessons.

You are still here! It might seem that things are getting more and more difficult but that means you can be more and more resilient. 

Chatting with my reunited friend last night, we both agreed that despite all the ‘traumas’ – neither of us cares like we used to, we can laugh at whatever circumstances AND we also know that ‘this too shall pass.’

Start drawing more attention to what you’re getting right, understand that whatever situation you’re in you’re benefitting from it in one way or maybe even many.

I will say it again – progress over perfection!

We are constantly reminded of the sweet, sound passage of time but what is the point of wasting that time, racing around, getting nothing meaningful done and not allowing yourself to smell the roses?

I realise I’ve spent much of my time feeling anxious, stopping and starting, bumping along rather than bouncing freely through life. It’s been incredibly hard work!

No, you’ll hear that you constantly have to be swimming against the current and against your ‘enemy’/competition. 

1. It’s a lack mentality.

2. It’s a manipulation tactic. 

No, really! People want you ‘rushing to the back of the room’, they just want you to ‘buy’ whatever they’re selling but you have your own path.

If there’s anything you need to be constantly doing it’s reminding yourself it’s your life and you get to decide. 

Freedom comes when you’re not aimlessly treading water and you realise that you’re being rocked by the stream. Stop pushing so hard, you will never stop the flow of the river, let it carry you.

I will say it again, you can only control what happens in your life, no one else’s and you will never get anywhere if you’re singing someone else’s song. Find inspiration wherever you go

BUT………

Live YOUR life and leave the so-called competition to themselves. There is plenty, drink from your own cup.

You know, life’s meant to be exciting, fun. I spoke recently about not knowing what’s around the corner, so many get nervous. To be honest, I have as well. I have found it hard to distinguish between nervousness and excitement some times but the truth is, you can go into any situation feeling you’re going to win.

This is why it’s lovely to expect surprises, to be open to the world. It’s fabulous to be back in contact with my university friend because we have a history, a rollercoaster of emotions and I love it. I also love that, because we’ve both been through more stuff and become more solid, we can enjoy a whole new friendship and have the familiarity too! Win-Win.

It’s all wins, all the way down, whether they’re big or small. Start celebrating them. Start acknowledging them. Remember, they’re all down to you – the stuff you’ve done and the results that have come in.

Every stage of your life is valid and you will want and need different things at each stage! 

Everything that’s happened needed to.

Everything that’s coming will need to happen as well.

The process is far less about what happens and so much more about the person that you become to respond to it.

In a world of flux, the only constant is change. 

We none of us know all the answers and the most important thing is you understand that everything happens FOR you not TO you and it all happens through and by you.

You’re in charge.

Keep transforming my beautiful flower!

Had a bit of a meltdown yesterday, hurrying through, not able to make sense of things.

Your old conditioning rears its head every now and then and you can wonder where you are and what you’re doing.

It almost happened that I didn’t record my YouTube video but record it I did.

Every day, keep moving forward, it can feel like a slog sometimes but funnily, when I woke up this morning, a very old friend, who I haven’t spoken to for years and years had e-mailed me. I took it as a sign.

She messaged to say she had found my blog and that it had resonated with her, that she liked it.

Keep going my friend.

My goodness!

You get insight into human nature when you get onto Social Media.

Yes, I am all for making an impact and using POWERFUL language but the language of misery, not for me.

We are all products of our age, no doubt. We cannot help but be influenced by the styles and trends of our time but I hear so many people literally using phrases like 

“Go to War with yourself!”

“It’s meant to be painful.”

“Suffering is the truth.”

Wowzers, lighten up is what I say.

Self-improvement is not a fight, a challenge yes, but it’s meant to be uplifting not destructive.

You know, I still catch myself doing this!

Permission, permission, permission. Always asking and never giving it to myself.

I think a lot of people live on the back foot, always waiting, making sure they’re not getting in the way, not wanting to bother people, not (in a more old-fashioned sounding way) want to put oneself forward.

Yeah, bullshit.

“Let me….”

“Would you mind….?”

“Is that all right if……..?”

Just like I am shifting from referring to myself as “you” and embracing “I”, I am also actively training myself to speak more confidently.

SO!…..

“Would it be all right if I explained what I do?” becomes “I would love to share with you what I’m working on.” See what I mean?

The mere idea of this shift actually makes me feel very uncomfortable. 

Will they think I’m rude?

Does it make me sound arrogant or an arsehole?

Posture.

And poise too. My focus is a process of becoming, growing into my big man shoes so to speak, actually, growing my big man cock and balls.

Life is not meant to be lively quietly and timidly.

No, life is meant to be lived out loud, outdoors, in the real world.

Practice your perfect self. It’s already there, give yourself permission to be free.

I see it all the time.

“Why aren’t they doing it?”

“Why don’t they want to change their lives?”

“What’s WRONG with them?”

And the judgement. Phrases like,

“Spoiled brat” (heard that said this morning!)

“Losers.”

To be honest, I have done it myself calling people “NPCs”.

My mission is simple.

Yes, I use hard hitting language and what sound like commands every now and then but I am here to speak to you, the man who’s decided to take action. I have no interest in or desire to change those that aren’t willing to do it.

PLUS! There are many reasons why people don’t throw themselves in, perfectly valid reasons.

Fear

Lack of Self-Belief

Not willing to sacrifice their current conditioning.

If you’re building a business, stop wasting your time trying to convince vegetarians to be lions. You will not do it and it isn’t your place to dictate what others should do.

I market myself with personality, humour and a genuine desire to connect with men who want to take a step out and really go for it. It’s incredibly simple. 

I have spent years, literally years, trying to divine and decipher other peoples’ behaviour, totally fucking pointless.

You don’t need to convince people, nor try to change them, even contemplate understanding them. You don’t know them and they don’t know you.

Speak authentically with the true desire to be of service, network, get into the comments sections of wherever you are on Social Media, send messages, receive messages and get conversations going.

The right people are out there and waiting, focus solely on what you do and what you can do to help them help themselves.

We have to go through some serious crap as kids! Fuck me!

School Days are the best days? Bollocks!

Let’s face it, school life was hideous for many of us. Rigid, enforced, out-of-date. And the stuff we’re ‘taught’ – how much of it have we actually used and what was genuinely useful? Yep, very, very little! We understood this even at the time.

The reason for being entrepreneur, that’s common amongst all of us, is to build a lifestyle, a schedule and routines that belong to us as individuals, tailor-made loveliness!

I am sure that, like me, you heard such phrases as

“Why don’t you just do it?”

“Why don’t you behave?”

I even remember one teacher, when I got a good mark on an exercise telling me “don’t be so self-satisfied.” Funnily enough, she left soon after that.

Ask yourself what you want (you’re allowed, you know.), set your own rhythm (and march to your own drum), getting the work done (and feel great about it)!

If you believe you’re immune to manipulation (I have laughter in my head!) or persuasion or doing what other people want, you are deluded!

Doesn’t make you a bad person!

The struggles you feel, should you will to overcome them, are the divide between what you’ve been taught that doesn’t work for you and the person you wish to become.

Very simple.

Thoughts, feelings, what you believe are other peoples’ expectations, have a habit of pulling you back into past states.

You cannot recreate what has passed.

I’m about creation – innovating and making new things that align with my values and the constructive states we are all born to experience…..

Joy

Peace

Excitement

Satisfaction

Appreciation of Beauty

Connection – with yourself first and others later

Feel free to add to the list yourself – this is not exhaustive!

We are all glorious chaos coming into magnificent vibrancy! The pieces of the jigsaw come together for you when you decide to put yourself out there, when you are willing. 

To will just means to do something, it’s nothing grand, just language we don’t use anymore. If you’re willing something into being, you’re doing something.

It doesn’t matter if you’re messed up or afraid or nervous, you can decide to do it anyway.

Be Strong Today and Exercise Your Will!

You know what I’m talking about here.

Dating apps

Hookup apps

Job Descriptions

Social Media Profiles

Whatever you’re exploring, there are so many vague, boring, pointless profiles that don’t really say anything, they’re not specific nor exciting.

When you’re marketing yourself (and believe me, you always are!), you have to give something, a hook, to make people interested. If you want pizazz from them, you have to give some yourself – only fair!

Going through thousands of posts this week and last, making comments, you would not believe the amount of copied and pasted tweets, with no personality. How do they expect to stand out? Well, the truth is they don’t.

That’s where you come in.

Bring some personality. Yesterday, whilst out on my walk, I found a hat (a bright pink hat) that someone had obviously dropped, so I decided to balance it on my head (it was quite small) at a jaunty angle and simply posted the picture with the caption “does this suit me?” – it got some likes and some laughs. FUN! You see, it’s giving something. 

And it’s showing willingness to put myself out there.

Here’s the one rule of the universe! It starts with you, you have to take the responsibility, or else, you drift and never find your spark!

Getting involved in Twitter, you really see human nature.

I’ll be honest, I’m absolutely astounded.

Maybe they’re copying from a cheat sheet or a manual they’ve got from someone or maybe it’s genuine. The amount of questions like,

“If you could go back 10 years, what would you do differently?”

“If you’re still doing XYZ, you’re not in pain enough.”

“What’s one mistake you wish you could change?”

There’s being honest about your shortcomings but then there’s plain beating yourself up.

If the process is too painful, you will stop. I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Whatever you do, you only know what you know at the time you do it and, let’s face it, we are all hideously conditioned from birth. Yes, some more than others, but no one is immune.

What is conditioning you ask? Great question.

Conditioning is what you take to be true (even though it’s usually wildly false!) from what you perceive as an authority figure – a parent, any family member actually, teachers at school, employers, doctors, accountants, you get the idea.

Conditioning is an interesting social adaptation because we all want to be liked and we want to be seen as involved and fitting in so asking questions, basically, about how much pain you’re in, helps you be part of the pack because it’s clear to me that the majority don’t feel great about themselves, they feel really, really shitty!

Overcoming beliefs that aren’t yours that you’ve acquired is an extensive process and unlearning what isn’t true can feel like you’re casting yourself completely adrift for no good reason.

But there is a good reason.

You get to start being yourself, understanding that you behaved in the past for very valid reasons, you only knew what you knew then and, ultimately, when you embarked on your voyage of self-discovery, everything that happened NEEDED to, to bring you to where you are now, helping you feel better about yourself, be more peaceful and able to trust yourself more.

It’s all a shift from things happening TO you, to things happening FOR you.

Don’t hate yourself.

Value yourself.

So often, we go into things with enormous resistance, it’s down to your conditioning you see.

It’s clear that there are many who have received little to no encouragement to do what is authentic. 

I believe (though I have no evidence), that we each have our unique skills and gifts and means of expression and it’s down to us to establish them and then invest in them.

This is how you will overcome your initial fears and doubts and plough through. We are sewing seeds of consistency here. Things are only meaningful if we invest in them for the long term.

Even so, when you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, it can feel very difficult to keep going, that’s why having a powerful mission and an end result that you can work towards can really help.

Progress is made when you’re, first, honest with yourself, second, that you trust yourself and, third, you know that no matter what you do, you can learn from it.

You have adventure at your fingertips.

Build a business.

Get into a new relationship.

Visit a place you’ve never been to before.

Have a wonderful walk in nature.

Savour a delicious meal.

Whatever it is, it’s your choice to have a fantastic time.

Life is not so much about what you do, it’s the joy and gratitude you bring to it.

I see many vengeful people, not realising the vengeance they feel for others will only ever come back to themselves. They are what they accuse others of. No matter how much justice you wish to implement, you cannot hurt others without hurting yourself. It’s the way it goes.

Whatever your focus you will get more of. It’s why I choose connection, understanding and a need to live my best life possible.

Revolutions never work.

Violence never works.

Wars never work.

We know this.

Enough!

Treat life solely as the opportunity to do as much good as you can.

I know, I know – the weight of it all!

So massive, so impenetrable!

All the work that we need to do!

You’ve got to calm down.

Years and years ago, I watched a lot of Tim Ferriss (Four Hour Workweek fame and now famous for his podcast that has all the usual suspects on it). One phrase I heard him say somewhere (sorry, can’t remember which video it was)…….

“Slow down to speed up.”

You’re not actually racing against anybody (though I’ll be honest, I often feel quite competitive). 

Everyone’s different. 

Everyone has a slightly different strategy.

The key is figuring out how you can turn up everyday saying…..

“I GET to do this.” rather than “I HAVE to do this.”

My latest strategy (and it’s working) is to constantly acknowledge what an enormous privilege it is to build a business from the ground. I mean really! In our culture, we venture the businessman because he is responsible for producing huge amounts of wealth and freedom. I’m a Capitalist through and through.

And in my replies to tweets, I constantly say this…….

MAKE IT AS FUN AS YOU CAN.

It’s why I can’t stand the “video games are for losers” crowd and the “don’t watch Netflix” mob. 

If you want to listen to music whilst you work, do it.

If lighting candles and burning incense works for you, do it.

Low light, bright light, do it.

Remember it’s your business and you’re the boss.

The ‘lists’ people telling you what to do and what not to do are simply looking for approval – they just want people to agree with them and 99% of the time, they’re parroting what they’ve heard from someone else.

Like what you like because you’re in this game for a long time.

There is any number of ways to waste your time.

Plan and not execute.

Say “I know that.” and not execute.

Avoid, procrastinate waiting for perfection and not execute.

You see a pattern emerging?

Here’s a massive time waster – taking responsibility for other people.

My new motto is ‘like what you like’.

I’ve just been watching Lara Croft Tomb Raider (the 2001 version with Angelina Jolie). It’s fucking brilliant! It really is. 

“Yeah, bruuuuh, but a woman could never take on all those marines and invaders.” It’s a fantasy. And let’s face it, a wet dream for a lot of geeky gamers who will never have sex. So what if it’s trying to persuade you of a particular cultural view or political message. If you’re intelligent enough, you’ll figure that out and if you’re not intelligent enough you’ll buy into it like everything else you’re moulded into being.

Stop being so fucking serious, seriously! Oh My God.

1. Allow yourself to enjoy things.

2. Ask yourself yourself what you like.

3. Define who YOU are as a person and leave others to do (or not do that) for themselves.

4. You’re going to have different moods and sometimes do things differently in the space of seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, whatever. FLEXIBILITY is way more important than pigeonholing yourself.

5. Start prioritising the things you love and stop making excuses to avoid actually doing them.

Along side my new motto, I have a new favourite principle/term – reverse engineering.

I have a drinking problem, there we go, I said it. I drink way too much wine and it is destructive and it prevents me from going on sightseeing outings which lift me up, thrill me and sustain my joyfulness. The drinking is not the actual problem but the symptom – the disease? Numbing myself down so I don’t ‘get in the way too much’.

There are always more powerful and uplifting choices you can make. Deny no feeling you have. If you’re angry, don’t be angry at yourself for feeling that. Accept it. Embrace it. Emotions are your friends (and signposts) encouraging you to make better decisions for yourself, if only you would choose them.

Tempus fugit (time flies) and the clock continues ticking, save yourself from trying to control others, make choices that make you more empowered, more accomplished and ACKNOWLEDGE the great gifts you have AND the good things you’ve already done.

House yourself in your own body, your own house, your own temple and celebrate life!

It’s inevitable folks, when you put yourself out in the world, many, many people are not going to agree with you. They will appear insulted, they may attack you, they make block you.

Toughen up.

Not only have we largely lost our resilience, we’ve gone way down in the debate stakes and the ability to disagree civilly.

I never go out to hurt anyone deliberately. I am not malicious but when I recognise destructive behaviours in people, I now, more than ever, will call it out.

Maybe my perspective doesn’t match other peoples’ but when you’re talking about words on the internet, it’s definitely time to grow some balls.

I shouldn’t be surprised really.

The world and his wife wants something out of you but I’ve got something slightly different than that for you.

Engaging as much as I am on Twitter, you see the distilled words of people, trying to make sense of the world but falling into the classic trap…..

Trying to get other people to behave like they want!

Can’t be done.

Won’t be done.

Would you want it to work anyway?

No, we are all mini tyrants if we put our minds to it and it gets you nowhere.

You, yourself – get yourself sorted. That’s where it begins and ends.

As I interact with such people, I’ve been having emotional flashbacks to my ex, they’ve been quite strong in the last few days. 

Why?

Because I realise just how much I subjugated myself to him and, yep you guessed it, it made no difference to the strength of our relationship or the intimacy of our connection.

YOU have to be the one to take responsibility. It’s the only path to joy and freedom.

Honestly, take it from me.

Here endeth the lesson.

Naturally, when I’m on Twitter, I offer advice about behaviours to stop and behaviours to start. 

Stop doubting yourself.

Start believing in yourself. Trust yourself.

That kinda deal.

But there’s a monotony in a lot of what people write. You don’t need a therapist, you need to go to the gym kinda stuff, as if they speak for everybody.

The other day I commented that you can get great benefits from walking, dancing rather than the gym, particularly when it comes to women.

All the stuff that’s pushed is relatively recent and, to be honest, I see a lot of injury and people burning out after decades of going to the gym and most of the bodybuilders are on massive amounts of drugs. Not to say that the gym can’t be beneficial, for example, BUT there are other ways. Always remember that.

You have to decide for yourself and don’t be afraid to point this out when people mindlessly parrot the same old stuff because it’s the latest thing.

Be your own person, live your own life. You know what’s good for you.

I love me a good goal.

I love me a good dream.

I love me a good adventure.

The common denominator? Leaps of faith. 

If anyone tells you they know exactly what they’re doing and how they’re going to get to the Promised Land, they’re lying and more to the point they’re missing out on the excitement!

It’s my current theme – you don’t have to know all the answers.

Getting involved is the only way.

The worst scenarios you believe may happen, live in your head.

When faced with the reality of life, you are actually far more capable than you imagine.

In the last few days, I have been interacting on Twitter in a far bigger way and it’s so stimulating I see myself getting more and more enthusiastic about it!

Getting conversations going, receiving messages, there’s so much variety in it. 

You have the choice of what you do in life, I know sometimes it feels like you’re being backed into a corner or facing criticism but this is why I say you can handle it.

No need to make a big deal out of everything.

Do your work daily.

Look after yourself as best you can.

Keep on moving forward – you’ve got it in you.

If you’re branching out into anything significant, overcoming your doubts, conditioning and resistance is a big task.

A really helpful tip is to remember why you started out in the first place.

I certainly didn’t make the decision just because I hated my job or didn’t like the people I was working with.

I knew there was more I could do. I knew my life meant more and that I was capable of doing something really meaningful.

Did I like the jobs that I worked? So, so. Some more enjoyable than others but I was always relieved to get home, go out for dinner after, go to the theatre or cinema. That was when I was in London.

Now, I love being in the countryside, back where I grew up, enjoying the surroundings and building a business empire from scratch. 

It’s SO stimulating to get out there amongst people who are moving and shaking things up, creating content, asking real questions, sharing amazing wins! Fabulous!

That’s why you have to reprogram yourself to understand that you are bigger than your struggles and the obstacles. That’s what I’m doing on a daily basis and, no matter what anybody says, it’s so rewarding to see engagement on posts go up, to see the follower count go up, to see messages landing in the inbox!

The journey is a long and uncertain one but remember that igniting spark is who you really are and the life that you truly want to lead is waiting for you.

I used to think that integrity was the most important thing but now I’m thinking that flexibility is far more important. 

It’s not an easy thing to know your own mind. The mind by definition is chaos and what I once held dear, I now see as an illusion.

Couldn’t get to sleep for ages last night and I started running stuff over and over in my head, got myself hot and bothered and when I did fall asleep, I had the most fucked up dream about peoples’ heads being chopped off and having an argument with my sister.

Funnily enough, in one part of the dream, I was throwing stuff around wherever it was I lived and this morning, in real life, I found that about a third of my glassware had somehow fallen out of my cabinet and smashed into thousands of pieces. So that was my morning task, clearing it up.

I would have thought I’d be more bothered about the glasses (mucho expensive I’ll have you know) but it doesn’t matter. It’s just glass with a fancy bit of advertising attached to it.

I’m doing stuff on Twitter and YouTube, I’m building an empire from the ground up, there’s more time to earn money and have a great impact.

Don’t worry about changing your mind and embrace letting things go. Life’s about developing a strong character and what people think is irrelevant.

Be your own person. Live your own life. And don’t sweat the small stuff.

Full of doubts, are we?

Embarrassed?

Shy?

Yep, I’ve been there too.

Whilst out on walk one of two yesterday, I ran into someone my mum was friends with when we originally lived here. Perfectly pleasant but then came the inevitable question.

“What are you doing, Martin?”

“Oh, I’ve been trying to grow an online business.”

Not only should you trust yourself more – that the choices you make are the right ones for you, learn to value yourself more.

It’s a massive undertaking to actually get your life in order, to take charge of your destiny. 

Do not downplay.

Do not be ashamed.

Take pride in what you are doing.

So much going on in the world.

Relentlessly exposed to the chaos.

Everyone wanting a piece of you.

It’s no fucking wonder you can’t figure out who YOU are and what YOU want.

If you’re out there, pushing a message, the simple key is speaking to as many people as possible. 

Getting into comment sections

Producing new content daily

Sitting down and focusing on getting the work done.

Why won’t we do it? Fear of being judged but people judge anyway. The second simple key? Learn to be resilient. 

Underneath it all, we’re all scared but a handful of people get on with it regardless.

Be bold today and keep it simple! Do what you can and watch it grow.

Passive. It’s what I see a lot.

Jesus is the answer.

Science is the answer.

Communism is the answer.

Big Government is the answer.

Small Government is the answer.

Everyone has their answer.

Life’s more intricate than that.

I’ve already said that everyone wants their answer to be right, simpler that way – for them. They also don’t want to do anymore thinking. That’s harder.

In a world of so many people, let’s bring back sophistication.

You’re one person.

You have one day at a time.

There is a certain amount you can get done each day.

Believe me, I have darted around and panicked and tried to stuff everything into one day and it’s just not possible, especially if you’re dealing with all the shit that’s happened in your life.

We have firemen to put out fires, you don’t need to be stressing every day because, I guarantee, eventually it catches up with you and you’ll burn it. I have seen it so many times, to the point of people actually dying they’ve tried to cram so much in.

Priorities is the priority. What are the most important things you can do each day to bring you closer to the life you want to live?

Establish those and with the time you’ll free up (because you’ll be calmer and more joyful), fill that time with the things you love.

Simple.

And for God’s sake, learn to like what you like.

I’ve been saying this all along, everybody wants you to like what you like and they seem very surprised when you disagree with them.

There’s no doubt, the last couple of generations have become enormously entitled. Largely because we’ve lived in such abundant and relatively peaceful times.

It’s the tough times make hard men, hard men make easier times and easier times make weak men lark. I think it’s safe to say we’re in the latter of those three.

That’s why more courage is needed. 

Past generations feared mortar shells, current generations fear hurty words on the internet.

Here’s an idea to get started with. Like what you like, stop being swayed. Everybody thinks they have the answers to what’s ‘good’ and what’s ‘bad’.

Everyone needs their answer(s) to be right because it’s their stability and security at stake. Desperately trying to make sense of the world, they cling. Cling as hard as a limpet to the rock.

Immovable

Rigid

Shunning everything out of their worldview.

Honestly, is that how you want to live? I certainly don’t.

My life has gotten better the more I’ve decided things for myself. Rules are not designed to keep you safe, they are designed to keep you compliant and they’re written by psychopaths for the most part.

Just give things a go, be kind to people as much as you can (and reasonable) and the rest, well my friend, let it go.

I do love me some talk of finding solutions – because most people are starting and stopping at finding problems. If even one person snaps out of the malaise of doom mongering – that’s a win.

However!

The idea that you need 

More information

More answers

More strategies 

Is bogus.

Read between the lines when you next hear someone, or tell yourself, that you ‘don’t know what to do with your life’ – understand this.

The what is never the problem, it is the how and guess what that comes down to?

Confidence (meaning, in essence, ‘with faith’ from the latin). You cannot know how anything is exactly going to turn out. Just not possible. Take the leap, find support when you need it, for sure, but understand that you already have the tools you need to get started.

Messy, yes.

Nerve racking, yes.

Get the fuck on with it, most definitely.

Are you constantly fighting the way things are?

Are you a perfectionist?

Are you constantly wanting to change everything and everyone?

Stress and misery comes from not being able to accept things the way they are. Does this terrify you?

When I’ve observed how people react to ‘acceptance’, it’s like you’re telling them that everything is set in concrete, immovable, with no room for growth.

Exact opposite my friend.

Yesterday, I blogged and videoed about delusion. Everybody wanting everything to go the way they believe things should be.

It’s arrogant, it’s hubristic. There’s no humility in everything. Remembering though, the reason you believe what you believe and want everything to be ‘just so’ will be for very good reasons. You and I both want some sense of structure and security. Don’t we also want adventure too?

Oh yes!

Truth is, there is so much we can’t control, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Releasing ‘what is’ to the universe means you can focus on the things you love, that you CAN change and that you can have powerful and grounded confidence. 

Let’s develop a character of excellence. Let’s do it together.

Go boldly in the world and do it with style and grace.

Have you struggled to let things go? Have you felt great injustices that you keep reliving? I certainly have.

It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot for the last few weeks – this unwillingness to release these ghosts.

To be free, you cannot be hindered, weighed down or angry. Just won’t work.

I’m seeing a new therapist today and I will certainly be discussing this with her.

Letting go doesn’t just refer to heart aches, it can also be hard to let go of plans that changed, outcomes not being as you expected.

It’s something challenging but essential to embrace the transience of life. Go with the flow, be free as a bird!

There are times you have to abandon your perfectionism.

There are times you have to abandon the regrets you have over your past.

There are times when you have to let go of what is no more and start living your life.

If you feel like life is unfair, always remember that you have air in your lungs and each breath you take means you can do great things in your life.

Stop beating yourself up.

Start getting stronger.

And remember you can always ask for help when you need it!

Breaking the mould and being yourself means unlearning much of the conditioning you’ve experienced and gone along with.

Having said this, if you’re going to live peacefully you have to separate the wheat from the chaff and admit that you may have gotten certain things wrong.

I don’t believe in mistakes. At whatever point you make a decision you only know what you know right then. Looking back at the past and saying you made mistakes or have regrets is so pointless because it’s all done. To restate it, you only know what you know now.

Stop beating yourself up and remember that it’s okay to change your mind, to rethink what you’ve done and to make decisions that serve you better for the rest of your life.

You’ve always got time to be the best version of yourself.

PRINCIPLES = ALL!

For a rule to work, it has to be observed by all. Do you notice that happening? That would be a No!

Principles are what build great nations. Freedom, property rights, freedom of association and exchange.

You’re contribution? Get out there and let people know how you’ve overcome struggles in your life.

Simple!

Why?

When you say no, which is essential to living honestly, you dare peoples’ disapproval. Anything can fly at you and it’s stressful.

It’s honestly why I talk about resilience.

I have lost track of how many times I have bowed down to people to ‘keep the peace’ or to have an ‘easy life’.

But how you do anything is how you do everything. Avoidance is far more common than you might believe.

And believe me, this isn’t an overnight job. You don’t just magically become the best version of yourself by making once decision.

Step by step, day by day. Do things in your own way.

AKA The Age of the Puritan!

Do you just want to look good or do you actually want to help people?

Social Media is rife with the approved, ‘correct’ current thing.

It was (and still is) climate change.

It’s Covid.

It’s Ukraine (and the world against Russia)

But there’s no thought in any of it. People update their bios with emojis and flags but don’t actually have a clue what they’re supporting.

In a sea of conformity, be a mighty wave of “WAKE THE FUCK UP!”

Putting yourself out there is nerve-wracking, frightening.

But the truth is you have two options, hide or show yourself. You can have the very best offer, skills on the table, expertise but it means nothing if you don’t share it.

Technology makes this so easy now, you simply have to put in the hours.

You have something to offer, probably many things, and so do I.

Let’s start spreading the word.

You never know what adventures you can have!

Believe you can do things on your own? Nope.

If you want a successful business, you need customers.

If you want a successful relationship, you need someone you share values with.

If you want strong mental health, you need people to talk with.

When you ask for help, you admit your vulnerability and people are terrified to do it! Pride comes before a fall.

There is nothing wrong with mentorship.

There is nothing wrong with therapy.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help.

Avoidance is a defence mechanism but a destructive one.

If you believe you can avoid unresolved trauma, you’re wrong. It always comes out in the worst ways you can imagine!

There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. We all live in the world and there are people out there who actually care.

In order to continue, you have to go through.

Lean into the discomfort. It’s something I’m practising at the moment. The answers may not be pleasant but they will set you free.

Break the mould – be brave.

Notice how people shrink from living their lives?

Cancel Netflix.

I won’t do that course.

I can’t afford that meal.

I won’t see the therapist that’ll help me the most.

Life is a series of decisions.

Even if you’re avoiding and shrinking from something that is a decision! It’s always your choice. Believe me, I am not minimising the fact that it can be scary, you can feel yourself breathing shallowly, thinking “Oh, I don’t need that.”

When you’re scared, the best solution is to go THROUGH.

I’ve encountered this today. I e-mailed a new therapist after parting ways with my last one and she charges a lot more than what I was previously paying. 

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hee, hee, hee. Sharp intake of breath my friend! Nerve-racking! Not gonna lie!

Book the session with her, I will but this is a reminder to you….

NOT to shrink from your greatness but….

TO grow into your greatness.

Be honest about what you need and want.

Be adaptable.

KEEP GOING!

Everyone has an orthodoxy.

Everybody has their own delusion.

Everybody has their own dissonance.

Reality can be hard to deal with!

Do you like to believe you are the arbiter of truth? That you say the real deal? I certainly do. We all do. Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if everyone just agreed with you? 

Unfortunately, that makes you a tyrant!

The other day, someone responded to a YouTube comment I left eons ago about the Brexit Debate. I said to him that I knew I done the right thing by voting in favour of leaving the EU. I believe I’m right, you may believe that to be wildly abhorrent!

To break the spell of ‘the current narrative’, you have to first accept you believe what you believe. Accept it for the time being. I am a big questioner and skeptic but you’re living in delusion if you deny what you believe. You have good reasons for believing what you believe, because of your background, your circumstances. 

There is no one on the planet who holds to their beliefs randomly. I’ve never believed in coincidence. We live in cause and effect. 

Stop wasting time trying to get people to believe different things. Most are not capable of it. You need to have intelligence for that and there are many stupid people. Agree or disagree with me, that’s your business.

You have to live your life inside out. Start focusing on getting stronger, more resilient and, most importantly, not giving a fuck about what others think of you or what they believe.

Simples!

Animal or thinker? Which one are we?

You know me, I talk about ‘both’ thinking rather than either or.

The rational and the feral fight within us all, that’s the war. 

You think that war happens outside of you. Ha ha, child! Why no, it begins in you, in your heart, in your head, in your loins.

We want sex. There are cocktails called Orgasms, desserts called Knickerbocker Glory that we literally describe as sinful.

Honest to God, I feel ridiculous a lot of the time.

Despite knowing that my ex-boyfriend and I were totally wrong for each other, I still occasionally think of how imposing and impressive he was. How he had a massive cock and that we had incredible sex together.

The crazy thing is, if we devoted even half the amount of time to meaningful activities like reading or building businesses that we devote to doom scrolling on Instagram or watching porn, there would be a lot more balanced and happy people.

We’re all subject to our desires. That won’t change.

What do you do with your time? That’s what will make your life different!

Ever found that people try to mould you to make their lives easier?

Have you always been a questioner and seen people shift and feel awkward around you?

Ever wanted to break free from the tyranny of others’ expectations?

Yep, me too, and that’s where understanding your own nature comes in.

You are universes of potential, you have it within you and, as time has passed, your unique gifts have been covered and covered and diminished and trampled.

Understanding your own nature means to accept and embrace you have your own will, your own desires and your own space. Don’t be frightened to take up room and let people know who you are and what your boundaries are.

Leave yourself completely open and people will try in their droves to take advantage of you and judge you for things they simply don’t understand.

Ask yourself real questions and leave yourself the time and space to get the true answers.

What do you love?

What makes you feel peaceful?

What do you enjoy going out to do?

How long does it take you to absorb new things?

Write down all the questions you’d love to ask yourself, meditate on them, think about them when you’re out and about.

Always remember, it’s your life and you get to live it your way!

People don’t know the difference between an order and a request.

Neither do they know the difference between an order and a suggestion.

Do this, do that, eat this, don’t eat that.

Look at any post online and the vast majority of the time you’ll see people searching for authority but not respect.

Giving advice is largely wasted because people are going to do what they’re going to do anyway.

Share what you’ve experienced, share what you’ve overcome, share how your life is better – that’s the best thing to do online.

Ever heard people say you or they are victims of circumstance? Yeah, passive. Don’t let that shit invade your brain.

The great heroes of our culture always triumphed OVER adversity. They didn’t let the status quo affect them, they did not topple to howling wind of misfortune.

Will power is rare because so few are decisive in their own interest. 

I’ve just been watching a podcast about a particular doctor who spoke out against the medical tyranny of the plandemic and even he got jabbed and then complained about it afterwards.

Thinking and, most importantly, behaving independently is the most decisive thing you’ll do and it’s brave.

However bad you believe your circumstances are, you can be stronger. 

Here’s the truth, most people don’t accept themselves, so how can you expect them to accept you?

People are full of doubts and questions and are so wrapped up in trying to make it through their days, there isn’t any room left for anything else.

People pleasing is probably the world’s biggest actual pandemic. Racing around, trying to be liked, trying to be seen, trying to be accepted.

STOP!

If you’re looking to be accepted, it means you’re masking your own feelings of inadequacy. You believe there’s something hideously wrong with you.

Stop and ask yourself seriously, is there anything genuinely wrong with me? Are you totally unnecessarily beating yourself up? Likely yes!

Make your first step today to just accept where you are, give yourself time and let all the issues come to the surface, only then decide how to continue living your life!

I’m an observer of human nature, some may say nosy, some may say voyeuristic but the truth is, I like to know where I am with people.

The rush judgements I’ve made in the past mean I’ve left myself open to manipulation. There’s no other way of putting it.

The reason you have to trust yourself first is manipulation happens when you doubt yourself, you don’t trust the evidence of your own eyes and, most dangerously, you’ll blame yourself and make excuses for other peoples’ behaviour, no matter how destructive it is.

Standing up for yourself can feel exceptionally awkward and you’d be surprised how common peoples’ feelings of guilt can surface.

Throw that out of the window.

You have to trust yourself before you can trust other people. Why? Because life is inside out. You have unique needs and unique gifts, that’s the way it is for everyone. You have your perspective, you have your preferences and that is good.

Once you trust yourself, you can meet people evenly and calmly.

Sounds good to me, sound good to you?

Every day is a new opportunity to stand up for yourself.

Every day is a chance to be stronger and more principled.

Every day is your decision to not be pushed around.

Live your life.

You feel hopeless.

You feel like no understands.

Finding good people seems very difficult.

If you’re doing anything significant, honestly, it feels like you’re screaming at an empty hall most of the time.

Been there my friend. And much of the time, I feel the same.

Remember, there are people out there who care.

I promise, you are not alone.

You have a history.

I have a history.

We all of us have histories.

When you think back, do you remember getting the stuff you needed?

Affection

Encouragement

Support

Fun

Laughter

Education & Wisdom

Feel free to add your own to the list, there’s a lot and the likelihood, at best, is that you got some but felt lacking elsewhere. It’s life.

I debate in my head the idea of ‘everyone tried(s) their best’ – I think it’s probably true. It’s the optimist in me.

But when you reach adulthood (the arbitrary figure of 18 in a lot of cases), there’s stuff you simply don’t know. It’s okay to be unsure. It’s okay to try things and so-called making it up as you go. 

To take responsibility means you have to give yourself some of the stuff you need and you can figure out how to give it to yourself. No one else actually knows how to do that for you. They try and help but they don’t have all the answers either. 

Beware anyone who tells you they know it all. That usually means they just want you to agree with all the ways they want to do it.

I say it often and I will say it again now.

It’s your life and you live it.

Taking responsibility means you decide how and what to get that you need but it also means taking control for yourself.

Be strong and keep going.

There are times I have no idea what I’m doing.

I wonder if I’ll ever be able to break through and achieve what my heart desires.

I get confused.

I get anxious.

I get angry.

And often it feels like nobody cares. – Because they don’t.

If you’re going to achieve anything, it has to be down to you and that, my friend, can feel incredibly lonely.

I find it hard to be around people. I actually find it quite stressful at times.

The honest truth is you have to stand strong in your…….

Routines

Desires

Ability to say no – the most important!

Don’t give up.

Keep going!

Oh my goodness! The Ego Is Firing UP!

Am I going to admit this shit to you (I mean, yes, but still! EEEEEEK!)

I had my parents to stay the last week.

It was fabulous. Peaceful, enjoyable, open.

BUT!

A couple of moments – YES! Okay. – moments of ME recoiling.

It’s hard to be peaceful and take advice at the same time.

We all of us want to be in the right.

We all of us want to control EVERYTHING!

We hate being wrong.

I’m lucky. I have a lovely family.

(Again) BUT!

I am impatient.

I am sensitive.

I feel like I’m always being criticised.

Listening is hard.

Understanding human nature at all, it’s agony leaving people to say what they want to say knowing how they’ve behaved.

I can’t stand it sometimes.

Nice week and when they’re leaving a laundry list of things that are ‘wrong’. Can’t deny it, it pisses me off but I know that’s an area to work on.

Peace is the goal.

Abundance is the goal.

Joy and Happiness are the goal!

Always remember that!

Life unfurls largely in mystery.

You cannot know everything and, like yesterday as I talked about adventure, mystery can be a great way to drive progress – if you allow yourself to be curious and inquisitive and learn.

This is where stillness makes such an enormous difference. Stress never got anyone anywhere positive.

You don’t have to know everything, not all at once.

Take the first step, then the next!

Observe most peoples’ lives. 

Safe

Monotonous

Do they enjoy it?

I like an adventure, a bit of drama. It keeps life interesting.

We none of us know all the answers, it satisfies the curiosity in you.

Search, yes.

Play? Most definitely.

The effects, not that big a deal.

The consequences, oh those make you so much stronger!

Very little actually matters.

Be who you are.

And enjoy it!

If you wait for people to behave in exactly the way you want, you’ll be waiting a lifetime.

Anxiety is the gap between expectation and reality. You’re always going to suffer if you don’t accept the way things are.

The biggest shift I’ve experienced in the last few months (yes, from doing therapy at the top of the list) is being more decisive and more confident.

Just get things done.

You can’t plan for everything.

You can’t mould the world into perfection.

The things you are most scared of are actually the best blessings in disguise.

You can’t control what happens outside of you but you can always choose how you react.

Remember, it’s always your choice.

You think you’ve have it bad.

Until!

You hear stories of other peoples’ lives!

Mate, you have it easy.

You waste your time thinking how hard done by you are!

Nope.

No excuses!

People say they want others to ‘be all right’ – they don’t. They want you angry but offer no solutions.

Don’t fall for any of it.

Find the positives, they are always there.

Life is not about adding loads of new stuff in.

No, no.

It’s about peeling the onion and greeting the new day fresh and full of enthusiasm for the handful of things that really matter to you.

I’m reading a great book at the moment by a Danish philosopher called Soren Kierkegaard. It’s called “Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing.”

What matters to you?

What do you love?

Establish that and immerse yourself in it, do not medicate or dull the feeling of power or of progress.

Wake up feeling lucky to be alive – because you are.

I’ve written a lot about confusion recently. It’s a feeling that has followed me for much of my life.

Maybe this has always been the case, I don’t know, but it seems especially now that we have to know the answers to absolutely everything and God forbid that you don’t lest you be hounded and shouted at for not having a perfectly formed stance on every issue.

Certain things are obvious.

Certain things require more patience.

Trying to make sense of things seems impossible because there’s so much noise. I often feel the pressure on my head trying to establish exactly what I want to do with my life but then I remind myself of this…..

Focus on the positive things you’re already doing. Very simple. Every day take a step, build things that matter to you – and only you. It can feel lonely but you have to start giving yourself props for the work you’re doing. Congratulate yourself, feel good about yourself.

It may seem impossible because you have big dreams but keep on going!

I got a lovely suggestion the other day from a follower of mine on YouTube. In reply to one of his comments, I asked him what videos he’d like to see and he said,

“Honestly I would love to see a video about you and how you got to be the person who you are now.”

I had a very confusing upbringing. What I noticed is something I still see today. What people say and what people do rarely matches. For all the talk of wanting peace, people relentlessly argue with reality and end up miserable, angry too.

I think from the earliest of times, I wanted to be authentic, I wanted to say what I do and do what I say. Not saying that’s easy of course and plans in your head often work very differently in reality.

But I like to think I’m honest enough to give things my best shot and admit when things don’t work out exactly as I might like. We’ve become so afraid of what people might think but hardly anything that you think matters really does.

Character is born through facing life’s challenges and doing so willingly. Most people, and I hate to say it, just want to fight, so their lives are a fight. 

I didn’t want that.

I’ve always been an optimist and I’ve always believed I am lucky. It’s seen me through many a tough time. That’s what I mean by a consistent character. I’ve focused on what I want my life to be and my current stage of development is to be more resolute and confident about it – and to find the positive in everything I do.

There will be those for you and those against you.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.

Nothing can stop you but you.

It’s your decision.

It’s your mission.

It’s your life.

All you have to do is believe in yourself and get the job done!

Stop looking for permission from people.

Give it to yourself.

I like swearing when people aren’t expecting it.

I like having a posher accent in my area and relating to anybodies

I like shocking people out of the stupor by not walking at 1 billionth of a mile an hour.

I love dressing in my own way and confusing people.

I have to admit, I like getting strange looks from people. They can’t quite figure me out. You won’t believe me but it isn’t deliberate, it’s just who I am.

I encourage you to do the same.

Start living a life where you’re authentically who you are and little to nothing ‘bothers’ you.

It’s easy to look at symptoms and think you’ve got to the root cause of something but the truth is, most peoples’ thinking is shallow.

I’m all for exercise, going to the gym, getting out into nature, etc. but the idea that it’s the cure all for your worries is crazy.

We humans are universes of past traumas, to be fair, maybe I am more hung up on things, I’m not sure but I know you can’t ignore your past because it affects your behaviour right now.

I love getting to the bottom of things. I love freedom and I still have a longing desire for peace.

It’s the steps you take, no matter how big or small, that make the difference – take these posts. I started blogging daily in February 2020 and I have now surpassed 250,000 words! Quarter of a million by writing for basically a few minutes a day. It seems impossible but I’ve done it.

Don’t be shallow, don’t be surface, be so curious about your nature that you unlock your true potential.

Yes, okay, bumpiful isn’t a word, well, I’m making it one.

Any quest of self-discovery is going to uncover shocking truths, days when you don’t feel like getting the essential things done and bumpiful sections of the road.

Now, why bumpiful? Full of bumps yes, but clearly I’m also doing a play on words of beautiful. 

Life would be very boring if there was no variety, no opportunities for growth and that’s what the bumps are for.

I recently started uploading shorts to YouTube. Within days, I’ve had my first negative comments and guess what, I take it as a sign of progress. Clearly something is striking a nerve otherwise why would they feel the need to leave their thoughts for all the world to see?

The key is to realise there will be people against you and people for you. Get a negative comment? Probably not ‘your people’.

Learn to have a laugh with it all!

This morning I saw someone tweet that you should be a humble narcissist in order to be successful – that you should always think you’re numero uno but learn from people better than you?

Trying to get attention so hard does weird things to peoples’ psyches, it makes contradictory terms clickbait and it screws with peoples’ heads. I’ve seen it so many times.

Humble and Narcissist do not go in the same sentence.

Be the best version of you.

Learn skills and techniques.

And always remember that comparison is the thief of joy.

Have you noticed how people really hate themselves?

They’ll never give themselves a break.

Maybe it’s because I’m observing much younger people and maybe with the wisdom of age, my perspective is very different.

I see this phrase A LOT – “if the work you did six months or a year ago doesn’t make you cringe, you’re not doing things right.”

Nooooooooo! Honestly.

Life doesn’t happen all at once, you know?

Life happens in stages and every stage is necessary. You had to go through all the different experiences in order to get to where you are now and where you want to go.

Maybe it’s flexing to appear like you’re making massive progress.

Maybe it’s simply unresolved ego but not only do you have to start out weaker before you get stronger, you also have to accept that this is just how the game goes. Accept yourself at every epoch and, speaking of ego, learn to let things go.

99% of the stuff you think matters really doesn’t. Live every day in the name of progress and play with it.

That’s the other thing I see a lot – people taking things SO seriously.

Nah, nah! Have fun, do the work, be successful!

My name is Martin.

I am a writer, author, dancer, pianist, composer, singer, artist, great cook, a walker, a jigsaw-completer and, of course, an aspiring businessman.

You are a man of many parts.

And it is critical you nurture your natural gifts.

I’ve made the mistake of ignoring a lot of these things for quite some time! And honestly, I managed to escape London in time for the countryside to be able to indulge these things again.

However small the steps, make sure you’re doing the things you love. It’s not how long it takes, it’s doing the important stuff that counts!

Do you seek permission?

Do you need peoples’ approval?

Do you have to wait for others to decide your life?

Yeah, stop that.

Yes, you feel anxious.

Yes, it’s scary to step out into the unknown.

Yes, it feels like you’re going crazy sometimes.

But life is for living.

Observe other people. They do things, they move in the world, did they stop and ask you if it was okay for them to do that? No, am I right or am I right?

Stop asking if you’re allowed.

Start asking what you’re waiting for!

Getting to where you want to be is scary!

BUT!

Determination is a wonderful thing, it allows you to do remarkable things and push yourself beyond the limits of your expectations.

Are you ‘allowed’ to do these things?

Yes! You are.

Does it feel weird? Yes.

Does it feel ridiculous? Yes.

It’s unfamiliar but if not you, then who?

Inspiration is one thing.

Perspiration quite another.

Changing your life, like the building of Rome, does not happen in one day.

I’ve produced a YouTube video every single day of 2024. I started with diddly squat subscribers on the channel.

For a while it grew to 18 followers, sat there apparently unwilling to budge. The other day, I checked my channel to see it had jumped to 20 (a nice round number) and this morning I checked to find, my mighty channel had jumped another two special people to 22.

A lot of the time, you will feel you are screaming to an empty hall, the progress not really visible but the project is noble nonetheless. 

Be brave, be consistent, remember that inspiration passes and the real work begins. It’s a lifetime’s work and, my friend,

It is so worth it!!!

If you want to find stress you can find it.

If you want to create stress you can create it.

I have certainly done both of those!

How? By being impatient and by being judgemental actually.

Here’s a question. What’s the hurry? What are you racing towards? Who are you racing?

I remember my ex always SAYING that he wanted peace and serenity but in the next breath wildly criticising someone or stressing over some tiny event.

I went on a massive walk yesterday and on my way back I stopped at a particular bench I love to sit at, there is an absolutely stunning view over the hills and farmland on the other side of the brook from it.

I heard marching footsteps and turned to see a young lad walking the path very very fast and I realise it was an opportune moment to see what I must have looked like when I was hurrying along, not really taking in the surroundings. It was a wakeup call and a reminder of how much progress I have made in the last few months.

That is what peace is truly about – being able to take in where you are, being present and being in a state of calm to appreciate the beauty around you.

I recommend it.

We really get some things wrong.

Or maybe I have a different definition? Who knows?! Getting people to agree even on facts is very difficult.

But when people hear the word humility, I believe a lot of people think of weakness or meekness – they should know their place and not take on airs and graces.

I see it slightly differently. 

We assume we have all the answers. I won’t say who it was that I was talking with last night but it got somewhat heated! I asked this person to stop, so desperately, clinging to this God/Satan narrative.

It’s clear the version of history we’ve been sold is misleading at best and totally false at worst. History to me seems a loyalty test to the regime, accepting what they call facts for brownie points.

Humility, to me, though would be best characterised as a desire for the truth, to see what is real, and never assuming anything.

Are there some things we cannot prove? It’s certainly possible.

I remember watching the film Contact growing up, where the main character, Ellie, was an astronomer, who had lost her father when she was very young. The film becomes a dichotomy between science and religion but actually ends on a rather positive if ambiguous note “our goal is one and the same, the pursuit of truth, I for one believe her.” Great film.

Never profess to have all the answers and never be so sure in yourself you alienate yourself from reality.

We lack humility frequently out of the fear of not knowing, of being afraid to say “I don’t know.”

There is great nobility in humility, to being open to things we don’t know yet.

It’s all an adventure.

Have a great day truth-seekers!

You’ll see it everywhere. People believe whatever they’re told or are fed what’s convenient to the powers that be for them to believe.

They’ll get emotionally involved in Harry and Meagan, or William and ‘where the fuck is’ Kate. They’ll believe news reports. If it weren’t so funny it’d be tragic.

No one wants to go down the rabbit hole and figure out actually what’s real and truthful. Except a few noble exceptions off course.

You’ll have heard the phrase ‘there are two kinds of people’ with various examples. Here’s one example.

There are consumers and there are producers. The latter is the more virtuous path if you had to choose.

Naturally, there are certain things that we need to feed ourselves but, to live an independent and powerful life, allow not yourself to be led so much. 

Question everything.

FOMO is real.

People can’t stand being left out and when you start refusing to share every tiny detail of your life, take it from me, they get angry.

Make no mistake, everybody wants a piece of you.

People stare, through cracks in their living room curtains.

They want a piece of your action but won’t work for it.

They can’t stand being excluded.

They have no lives of their own.

They want to ‘look out for you.’

Nah!

They’re fat.

They’re bored.

They don’t know what their cocks and vaginas look like anymore.

They want to shake you by the hand and say “I understand” and take the moral high ground.

It’s bollocks.

They’re jealous of you.

They see you doing stuff.

They want to pull you down.

They’re resentful you’re younger and better looking.

They desperately want to tell you their histories like it’s relevant.

When you step out into the world, a lot of people resent it.

Lift yourself up. That’s what you’re alive to do.

No one can tell you what is right for you.

They can listen and advice at best.

You know what makes your heart sing. You know the things you love doing.

So why aren’t you doing them?

You lack worthiness.

You lack confidence.

Knowing what to do is never the problem. 

Fear is holding you back.

Start living the life YOU were meant to live.

Wherever you can, make life as simple as possible. You have to get the basics covered to focus in on the harder stuff.

Let’s face it, we all have our struggles and things to sort out in our heads, you and I are no exception.

For ages, I have been recording different videos for different platforms and, like magic, it came to me. Sometimes the glaringly obvious can take a while to come to you. 

So I decided to change my mind and record one video and then clip it for different social media accounts, simple, integrated – creating a brand.

Let who you are shine bright.

And, of course, start living BIG!

I had an epic clearout of old photos last night. Pictures of holidays that I hadn’t looked at for years, holding onto things, wondering why my life was cluttered with this stuff.

What I also did was hone in on the dream state I truly desire, the beautiful home that I want to build and I am talking massive castle in the countryside, totally private, totally epic! 

You can spread yourself too thinly, thinking you can ‘make do’ with a house here, maybe a flat there, some cars. The universe will only deliver you meagre results if you go in half-heartedly.

You have to dare to dream big and then to match the aspiration with prolific action.

Remember, you are allowed to take up space in the world and those that will tell you you’re crazy are the ones who will go to their graves regretful and dissatisfied.

That’s not you. 

Stop Living Small.

Start Living Stratospherically!

There are things you know you just have to do.

Cooking, cleaning, washing

Building businesses 

There are always going to be things to do that are harder that you cannot avoid.

I was reading an e-mail from a chap I follow on Twitter and he reminded me of a great lesson you might have heard before.

STOP saying “I HAVE to do this.”

START saying “I GET to do this.”

You can try and avoid things but you know you feel wretched in your soul for not doing them. You try to circumvent, you try to negotiate. Up and down and over and under simply don’t work, do they!

No, my friend, the way is through and you put it off because it sucks as my therapist said to me the other day. Getting better at things often involves some pain but the simplest way forward is just to start, focusing not on getting it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but on getting it DONE!

Thoughts and feelings and declarations and intentions mean absolutely fuck all if you’re not taking action.

It’s essential to question what you’re doing in life and if it truly blends with your personality and the outcomes you dream of.

That being said, most overcomplicate things.

No matter what you’re doing, mixing with new people and developing strong, reciprocal relationships will boost you on.

Don’t try to do a million things at once.

What are you drawn to right now – yep, you guessed it, do that and let the next step reveal itself.

It’s easy to let things get you down. These days it seems it’s harder to live a normal life without getting into some kind of ‘trouble’.

There is stuff you want and you want it for good reasons.

And again, it seems like there are more and more obstacles these days to transcend.

Don’t give into despair, nothing is ‘the end’.

Let the knocks fire you up to show the world how unstoppable you are. You have it in you to overcome any adversity.

Find excitement, adventure and growth in everything. Test the limits.

Today’s another day to be great!

Over the last few years, I’ve had a baptism of fire with friends.

When I finally woke up to realise these people didn’t care about me and never did frankly, I had a cull.

It’s left me in a state of starting over again, fresh.

An old adage that many will have grown up with is “quality over quantity” – this is how I see relationships now.

If you’re in traditional work, this is harder. I had a nightmarish time with work colleagues which I also eventually gave up on. I’ve been kind of drifting since and I’ve basically found being on my own more relaxing but, naturally, it can get lonely at times.

There is a balance to strike.

And making the choice as much as you can to be around the right people is critical. You can bond over various things, hobbies/interests, how physical or intellectual your lifestyle is, how intimate you wish to be with people, these sort of things.

Find people you have an affinity with, this can be both online and offline. After you meet with various friends and acquaintances, how do you feel? Uplifted? Relieved to be on your own again.

Test the waters. Trust your judgement and be in relationships, as much as possible, that lift you up and don’t accept any shit from anyone.

Are you one of those people who thinks that saying “No.” has to be this dramatic thing? 

That you have to shout and rage at people in order to get out of something?

No.

Saying no is just as simple as making a decision that whatever you’re being asked to do or that’s an option for you that just doesn’t fit with your principles or your mission.

It is that simple.

The nobility of no lies in the power that you hold to control over what you want to do, what works for you – what will make your life better.

Again, that simple.

I’ve always said the problem in life is not knowing what you should do, it’s the confidence to stand up for yourself – the latter is where most fail. 

Don’t just do things because other people do them.

Do them because they’re the right thing to do.

Principled! Wonderful.

I’ve had a lot of very quirky friends.

Creative, intellectual, intelligent, talented – ‘out there’ friends.

Unfortunately, they were all, to various degrees, sociopathic and pathological in their habits e.g. alcohol, drugs, co-dependency in relationships. Not pretty and, in the end, rather explosive!

But, I will still stand in praise of the freaks but a different kind of freak now – the ones that get things done, solutions people, the outliers, those making a real difference by helping others.

Let’s face it, there are so many social media platforms and search engines with millions or even billions of people on them and a multitude of ways to befriend them.

Let’s start lifting the great personalities more and express our own unique voices.

It’s time to freak out – in a fun way!

Don’t we love a good plan! 

Yes, I’m going to do this at that time and that will leave me with this time to get that done and once all of that is done, I can relax because everything is fucking perfect.

Yeah, not so much.

You know the most important thing is this…….getting the work done.

When you have built your empire in five or ten years, will you even remember let alone care that you got your writing done at 11.15? Will it matter that you recorded your YouTube video at 12:45?

No, it won’t.

You’ll be satisfied that you got your daily work done and you went to bed happy.

Have a framework but, for goodness sake….

Give yourself a break and just be productive.

Here endeth the lesson.

For the whole of February and up to 5th March, I drank no alcohol.

Guess what? I felt great.

On the way home from my walk yesterday, I thought I really want some wine. I went with it.

This morning, I can feel the cloud. Fortunately, I know it will clear.

We learn through experience. Don’t beat yourself up, experiment and, after the fact, ask yourself this one question…..

How do I feel and trust the evidence of your intuition and your body.

Do I feel I succumbed to the urge? Yes.

Will it affect the whole course of my life? No.

Do I feel a little disappointed in myself? Yeah, perhaps a little.

Every now and then, you’ll need reminders.

Keep going and do it healthily. Do it joyfully.

Yep, it’s this old chestnut again.

The amount of times I see on X, 

“Gym or Therapy? Which one?”

Does it have to be a choice? Do you have to cut off a great avenue just because you think it looks weak or pathetic?

The funny thing is, the men who talk about forgetting therapy don’t realise they’re worrying about one hour a week. That’s literally it.

I know that everyone who has been in therapy, including myself, has seen their lives improve.

Is there a study I don’t know about which shows therapy lowers testosterone? Do great athletes not have personal coaches? Is a therapist not a personal coach for your emotional and mental states?

Of course, the real point here is why are you letting others decide the direction of your life. It’s up to you to decide and however you make your life freer and more joyful is good in my book.

Where it’s feasible, I am definitely an advocate of ‘both’. Get the benefits of everything at your disposal. Doing anything significant can be lonely as fuck.

Live life abundantly!

When you finally start to figure things out…….

Governments are not there to protect and represent their citizens.

Health services don’t want you well.

History is totally inaccurate.

Many people do not have your best interests at heart.

It’s quite easy to go a bit kamikaze, to start mouthing off and get angry with people.

Let’s try this.

When you have conversations, ask genuine questions in search of what people genuinely think. LISTEN. Find out what’s holding people back and you’ll start to formulate ideas of how to move through the world openly AND peacefully.

There are some morons you’ll encounter but for the most part, people have good intentions, they’re just sleepwalking.

You get to be awake.

The last few days, I have been extraordinarily tired. It’s like a second adolescence where I need loads of sleep, things feel a little disjointed.

When you break free from traumatic situations, it’s inevitable you’ll have productive days and others where you don’t get as much done.

I find it near impossible to completely relax, I’ve realised. It’s something I am working on.

Beating yourself up for it is pointless.

What point are you trying to prove?

And who are you trying to prove it to?

Make every day balanced with productivity, rest and enjoyment!

This really is my theme right now and my mission.

Have you found you often don’t know where you end and other people begin? Never let yourself give over to other people so completely you forget who you are.

What do you want?

Where are you going?

What do you enjoy doing?

Are you willing to define boundaries?

When will you set aside time for yourself?

Don’t avoid these questions because you’re afraid to admit you don’t know the answers. It’s fine. Pull yourself to a quiet corner, wherever you can and just ponder.

Don’t make a stress of asking but do take it seriously because it’s your life.

Everybody these days has a take on everything. So intrusive.

People will demand that you know it all about every issue. So invasive.

Decide what you think on things and anything else, discard. Focus on making your life enjoyable and when you share this on Social Media, speak as YOU speak, share your own opinions and if people don’t like it…..

THAT IS THEIR BUSINESS. Do not make it yours.

Express yourself freely, be open (when necessary) and honest and decide who you spend your time with based on whether they judge or accept.

Let’s bring the sparkle! The world needs your light!

And hell, don’t just pepper, positively pour pleasure!

What you tell yourself repeatedly will be your reality. If you keep telling yourself that your life will be difficult, then it will be. If you focus on being satisfied at the end of the day and you’re fulfilling your passions, your life will be fantastic.

Notice how most figure influencers will tell you that life is hard, life is a struggle, life is cruel and unfair? Also notice the results they get – prison, cancellation and also notice how they have to have millions and millions of followers – the massive need to do everything in public.

That’s not what I want and I doubt it’s what you want either.

Fame is a need to be liked. Plain and simple.

If you’re enjoying yourself, share it with your followers if you wish but make sure you’re keeping some stuff aside solely for yourself.

Ask yourself what you enjoy doing and do it, let it glisten on the tapestry that is you and please ignore people if they say “that’s for losers”.

No one knows you like you know you.

Be a seasoned lover of life. Go pepper my friend and pepper far and wide.

Go to bed earlier! Ha ha, this much is obvious.

But in seriousness, why are you going to bed later?

Searching for something are you?

The truth is, most search for answers outside themselves. They think that the next opportunity will be the thing to transform them.

Do you believe this too?

No, no, my friend. You have to start concerning yourself with YOU, who are you? What do you want?

You are either giving yourself away with both hands or, with other behaviours (drinking!!!) you are numbing yourself.

What are you afraid of? That’s a great question to ask.

You don’t have to have all the answers yet.

And also, want to wake up fresh? Have a purpose. Guaranteed that something exciting and meaningful to wake up to every morning will get you energised.

I am on a mission to buy back my family home in the village I’m now living in again. I have a picture on my wall opposite my bed so I am reminded every morning of what I’m working towards and………

WHAT IT WILL MEAN TO ACHIEVE IT.

The great Jim Rohn once said. “Set a goal to make $100 million not just for the amount of money but because of what it will make of me to earn it.”

Start asking yourself what YOU love.

Start asking yourself what YOU can do.

Start with you and let the answers come up when the time’s right.

Have a wonderful day.

“Good morning to the warriors, the dreamers, the creative souls who want to make the world better.

Have a great day!”

This is the call I made on Twitter/X this morning. 

The meaning we give words is vitally important, otherwise you will box yourself in according to peoples’ false definitions of them.

Warrior, let’s start there. I am not a fighter, I am a lover. Warrior used to mean noble, it used to mean someone who defended their realm. It used to be a courageous and principled man. Now we simply see it as someone who slays bodies asunder. Let’s return it to it’s honourable and original meaning.

Here’s a big one, dreamers.

“Oh, he’s just lost in his own little world.” So in one fell swoop, he is both belittled and implied he’s crazy, bonkers, doesn’t live in reality. This is why we see the alleged rise in ADHD (which used to be ADD) – they added the ‘hyperactive’ label to mean unruly and troublesome. No, men are bored and we hate being indoctrinated. Men stand for the truth, like the warrior.

Creative – oh, he must be sensitive, fragile, we don’t want to foster that. No, we want him cubicled up (yes, I just made up the word cubicled), living a monotonous life where all that gets him through is alcohol and caffeine.

Simple but powerful lesson – just because someone says or suggests something does not make it true.

Come on Men, let’s start using language properly again.

Reclaim our masculine prowess – be strong, determined and principled.

That’s your mission for today.

Each morning the sun rises. 

You have two choices.

To be fresh, excited and full of enthusiasm for your day.

OR

You can be regretful of things in your near and distant past.

It is extraordinary how many choose the latter.

In my days attempting to be an affiliate marketer on Facebook, I would see so many people living mournfully and miserably decrying their lot in life – posting all the time about losing loved ones that had died sometimes decades ago. 

They never let life move on and get better, instead they lost themselves in woe.

You won’t do this. Life throws things at you to see how strong and resilient you are. Stand up to the challenge. Be the person that makes every single experience in the making of you rather than breaking of you.

What will do you do today? Comment below.

I made a new friend last night.

Whilst out wandering, we both happened upon the same stretch of river and the chap in question, had been working in the village but was now done with that particular project. We simply started chatting. Very natural, very organic.

It is astonishing how many people are feeling bleak and lonely these days. Everyone is waging their own battles, and often within themselves. They have turbulent and traumatic past experiences, divorces, not seeing their children, losing their homes, illness, unemployment.

It goes on and on.

It was late, raining but, the truth was, I felt incredibly restless and I wanted to go for a walk because with this kindred soul who also had a very interesting work history, we exchanged numbers and agreed that we would meet at some point in the future as he lives in the next large town from me.

You never know what’s going to happen in life and sometimes it can surprise you beautifully. Like the two of us.

Ensure you’re getting all the necessary stuff done to improve your life but be flexible that you leave room for those oh so nice little surprises.

That’s the spice!

I haven’t had a drop of alcohol all of February. In the past, I have stopped drinking for three major stints – 3 months, 4 months and 2 years!

I am a massive fan of wine, especially white (and champagne of course) but when I stop drinking, my life goes better.

You sleep better.

Have more clarity.

Use money more wisely.

You’re more energetic.

So many advantages.

More importantly, question why you have the need for any kind of suppressant – after all, that is what alcohol does. Most think it is great to disinhibit yourself but, in fact, it numbs the challenges you are avoiding. 

This goes for any kind of drug, I’m afraid you won’t like me for saying this, even caffeine (no not just coffee but tea too AND, don’t hate me, chocolate). As a side note, I haven’t had any caffeine either starting the middle of this month.

How do I feel? FANTASTIC!

No energy crashes, massively improved focus, clearer skin! What’s not to like.

The fun experiment I am conducting is in the cases where I THINK I want a drink, I ask myself two questions….

1. Why do you want a drink?

2. What are you trying to suppress?

The second is perhaps the most important because whenever I fancy a drink, it’s not when things are going badly, it’s when things are going well and self-sabotage kicks in.

When you’ve been a people pleaser for most of your life, you’ll want to keep yourself in certain bounds, often very narrow bounds. When you please yourself, your life becomes more open and expansive – and you’ll be of more genuine use to yourself and others.

Don’t look so much at the behaviour but the reasons for it – then you’ll discover you don’t NEED the destructive influences in your life.

That’s the way to unlock your potential. Simples!

Remember, just because you read something or someone suggests a particular method, it doesn’t mean you have to do exactly that.

I remember long ago, whenever I would go to a restaurant or hotel or wherever, I would want to recreate the decor of the place in my own home, it got exhausting.

What you want is fine!

The way that is consistent is infinitely superior to the ideal method you won’t stick to.

It is Your Life!

And please, cross bridges when you come to them.

You can’t know everything all at once, the next step will be revealed to you when you are ready.

Do not rush.

No need to panic.

Work on yourself daily.

The time is now to act.

Do you look to others to tell you what you’re capable of?

Are you gullible enough to believe every word that people tell you?

Life is an inside-out game, it’s up to you to decide what you want to do and what you’re capable of. Believe me, it’s far more than you currently think.

Trust your instincts.

Be brave.

Transformation does not happen in an instant. It happens very slowly then you become aware. 

You’ll have heard of the ten-year overnight success. Sometimes it could take longer.

The unavoidable fact is that you have to go through the mud to get to the clearing in the forest. There’s no other way about it. I used to resist this enormously!

When you go into any experience, look to learn and gain wisdom – and to develop fantastic relationships.

For anything to work you have to invest in it, wholeheartedly, faithfully in peace.

It’s not just a day’s work BUT….

It’s an adventure!

Personalities always want something, I learnt that from someone. 

I have a unique perspective on the truth.

You have a unique perspective on the truth.

They have unique perspectives on the truth.

The peaceful convergence of perspectives whether the same or different is the ideal.

However!

You’re not going to find this with everyone you meet. In fact, it’s quite a rarity.

Echo chambers exist for a reason – it’s just easier for people to flock together and not have to justify themselves every which way. Most want to be easily welcomed. Understandable.

RATHER DULL THOUGH! And dangerous.

Dull because there’s no spice and dangerous because people in collective will automatically assume their way works best for everyone. Confirmation bias.

If you’re going to break out and be free, here’s the only thing you must do. Define boundaries.

If everyone around you states what they want and expect it to be fulfilled, you can do that too.

You’ll find a lot of people are very unhappy about it because despite being in grown-up bodies, most haven’t progressed beyond adolescence mentally and emotionally.

It’s how you decide who to have in your life and how to deal with them.

The goal is saying what you think, feel and want in a very calm, very placid, very matter-of-fact way and then getting on with, guess what……

YOUR LIFE!

You talk of success.

You talk about your dreams coming true.

But do you really want it?

Are you learning new skills from people who’ve achieved the results you want? – and learning means implementing not just watching.

And it’s not just a day or two, it’s months and years, every single day.

Are you able to hold consistency for that long?

You’ll only win if you truly want to make a difference 

AND

If you truly believe in yourself.

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you?

Letting life flow is a wonderful thing.

Whenever you plan your life, you’re going to schedule things as you ‘think they will work’ and then comes the reality of what individually suits you.

Case in point, on the four days a week I train, I put down on my schedule to do it in the morning, to get it out of the way. Yesterday was different.

I decided that I would go for a walk in the morning, a long daily walk and on my way back, I sat on a bench in one of the most magical spots in my village by the old Toll Bridge, the River and the Church. Heavenly.

After a few minutes of sitting there, I chap walks down the stairs that approach said bench with some grain to feed the ducks. Now, I had seen this man wandering about town a few times and was intrigued. He looked friendly and it turns out I was right.

We started chatting, just about things in general and as we are chatting, a teacher of mine from school turns up with her husband and granddaughter. When I see here I ask, “Are You, Mrs XYZ” (I won’t put her name)” and she replies. “Yes.” A little startled. We chat for a few minutes and eventually he asks me my name and says. “Oh, Martin Pavey! You’ve got the same mannerisms and you always did your own thing. I always liked students who were themselves.”

The chap I had been talking too, a few years younger than me, had gone to the same school and also been taught by her. She lines us up and gets a photo of us (along with her daughter who turns up as well.)

Imagine, all this I would have missed had I decided to go out for my walk later as I had originally scheduled.

You have to find your own way. Make schedules and plans and think what will be right, give it a go and when you feel the need to change things around a bit, fear not, embrace your intuition.

Also, it turns out the chap I originally spoke with does lots of odd jobs, so I get his number and who knows, a new friendship, someone to go for a walk with, a new business partner.

Let the spirit of the Lord guide you.

For despair is the last refuge of the ego.

“I say it is the end therefore it IS the end.”

Narcissistic, entitled, against life.

Is that what you want to be?

Is that how you want to live your life?

No. Dear God no, say it is not so.

It’s really interesting that a lot of the people I’ve been following for some time have finally hit the wall. They’re not interested in solutions. It seems very strange to me that the steam has run out from their engines.

No matter what version of events you believe from history, one thing is clear, when people thought it was ‘end times’, it never actually was.

Is it sunshine and rainbows, well, perhaps not but is it all done for? No. This is the test of resilience and strength.

It’s only over when you give up.

A funny thing happened the other day.

After my therapy session on Thursday, I went for an absolutely epic walk up through my village, the woods, the moors and then back down to the other side of town and the stately home (with massive grounds) I visit often.

Midway, I took a second wander down the street that I grew up on (as I do every day to visualise and manifest buying back my family home) and when I was leaving the street, a man approached me and said.

“You’re all over the place.” – meaning that he had seen me many times all around the area.

I responded. “Yes, I’m a good wanderer.”

When we hear certain phrases, it can be easy to take offence, because in many scenarios “all over the place” can mean fragmented, crazy, chaotic, etc. 

The other thing to remember, whether kind or critical, people just love to comment, to get their oar in as we say in England, to interfere, solicited or not.

You know what I’m going to say, don’t you…….do what YOU need to do.

Your government doesn’t care.

The media doesn’t care.

The medical profession doesn’t care.

Lawyers don’t care.

Bankers don’t care.

None of them care about you, they don’t know who you are.

Bleak huh? No, not at all.

All your life you’ve been waiting for people to give a shit and they don’t – too busy worrying about themselves.

If you’re going to get anywhere in life, you cannot imprison yourself longing for peoples’ approval or even to be acknowledged by them.

You have to learn to stand on your own two feet and start giving a shit about yourself. 

What can you do?

How can you make a positive difference?

What really matters to you that you’d like to share?

I’m still perpetually amazed that people go to social media to tell us that politicians lie, like they haven’t figured that out yet. It’s funny really how clueless people can be.

“Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do.”

The truth is, and always has been, that most people just follow what they’re told to do. Very few are actually conscious. 

You have a choice today, and every day, whether to let go of what you can’t change and start focusing in on making a genuine difference. It can be very, very lonely but the rest of us awake are out there.

How willing are you to explore what’s possible?

Are you willing to discover the truth?

That’s what entrepreneurs do, they find out what works and they plug at letting people know about it!

But in order to do this, you must first explore yourself, who are you? What do you want? And, most importantly, are you willing to let go of what’s been holding you back?

Of course, I don’t know your personal circumstances, not yet at least, but I do know that if you haven’t achieved what you truly desire, there must be something (or probably many things!) that you are afraid of.

The explorer in you needs to enter the forest at the point you most dread. That’s where the magic is. That’s what the Knights did in search of the Holy Grail.

Be willing to explore every avenue, until you reach your goals.

Regret is a pointless ghost, meaningless.

You beat yourself up in the present for not knowing in the past what you know now. Crazy, again – pointless.

Hindsight seems like a wonderful thing but it’s dangerous because it keeps you in the loop of despair, thinking you’ve wasted time, thinking things could be different now.

You have to go through the different stages of your life to learn what you need to know to keep going.

Stop beating yourself up, let go and live your life.

We have spent our lives believing in ideas and institutions that we believe have our backs and want the very best for us.

School

Work

Healthcare

Governments

All the alphabet agencies and organisations

We believe we learn from history but we have been sold a totally false narrative. We have been manipulated so enormously.

But are you really surprised that you fell for it when practically everyone you encountered pushed this bullshit so hard and so relentlessly on you? Really?! Can you not forgive yourself? Will you not allow yourself to move on?

People are vying for survival and supremacy over you. Make no mistake. 

They don’t want to listen to you, they simply want you to agree with them no matter what. They’re desperate, they’re egotistical, they have shallow, empty lives. And the truth is, a lot of them are too stupid to see it and, if not stupid, too far down their paths to turn around and admit their shortcomings.

The first step to cure is to admit where you are. You fell for it and, likely, it enabled you to get to this point. Did you want slings and arrows thrown unnecessarily at you when you were a child? Nope, I don’t think so. 

The default position is not to move towards pleasure but to move away from pain. We all indulge in avoidant behaviour. Just accept it.

Next, establish some boundaries. Understand that everyone else in your life has said yes and no to things, you have the self same right. You do! At first, because it’s uncomfortable, setting boundaries will feel very strange. You don’t need to ask permission, that’s part of the psy-op. Ask yourself this – do any of your friends ask permission for how they behave to you? Do they? That’s a no, right!

Finally, focus in on what you want. What’s your mission? What is your dream state? Do the exercises every successful person tells you to do – visualise, meditate on the dream state, write your goals down everyday and embody, as much as you can, what you want. Visit the land where you’ll build your dream home(s), search for locations online, put stuff up on a vision board.

Ignore the people who ridicule you. They’re just too scared to do it for themselves so rather than bolster themselves, they tear you down. Fuck ‘em.

Go out today, and every day, and be fucking fantastic!

As soon as…….

Once I get this……..

I’ll be ready when……..

All code for I’ll never achieve what I want.

Start living it now.

Are you going to buy or build the house(s) you want immediately? No but go and visit the land where you’ll buy it.

I walk to the street I grew up on DAILY and stand by the family home that I will buy back, immerse yourself.

Have a nice meal every now and then, embody what you’re dreaming of, make it a reality.

Go for a massage, do the training for the dream body you want.

Be patient, joyful and RELAXED *AND* get the work done too. Always remember to do the work.

You’re never fully ready but starting now is the best way to get to where you want to go sooner.

Live Today!

Live Every Day!

And yes, they are both your responsibility.

Freedom From…

And the Freedom To…

There are things that are out of your control, accepted. Freedom is a mental state.

Whatever circumstances you’re in, you are free to choose what you think, how you feel and how you behave.

Freedom is about carrying yourself in triumph, in glory, in dignity.

Are you choosing to fight through life?

Are you involving yourself in things that aren’t your business?

During Lockdowns, most capitulated. They wore the masks and they socially distanced, they got their jabs like good little sheep.

Freedom is the embodiment of the wolf – being able to walk away and survive, being a party of one.

If history shows us one thing it’s that no matter how bad things become you have the freedom from believing in tyranny and having the freedom to acknowledge there are those who don’t value your freedom and that you can be the bigger person.

When you actually start to live your own life, or even face the mere possibility of it, you are branching out into the unknown.

You will grasp.

You’ll wonder where you are.

You will feel very, very confused. 

Totally normal.

Totally understandable.

Step 1, breathe. Observe what is happening around you, take it in.

Step 2, realise you are not alone. There are many that have been through the same storm of emotions.

Step 3, patience my friend.

You have nothing to prove.

You have nothing to justify.

It’s your life.

This confusion is so terrifying to most that they never do anything significant or meaningful in their lives.

Not you.

It’s okay to ask for help. I look forward to hearing from you.

Every person you meet wants something out of you. Accept it.

They want you to get out of the way.

They want you to do things their way.

Some will big you up.

Some try to tear you down.

In every interaction, you have the opportunity to respond (not react) in your own way, in your time.

The pause between thought and word is your opportunity to say No to others and Yes to yourself.

What do you want? It’s a question you should ask yourself frequently.

Decide, do and don’t let anyone stop you.

Nowhere is immune from the oversized claws of Big State.

Even in my charming Derbyshire village, there is a sign by the school gates informing locals of a one way traffic system up and down the hill at School Start and School Finish times.

The sign uses the corrupted word of “Safety.” Yeah, fuck that.

None of this existed when I originally grew up here in the 80s and 90s. The state has pervading tentacles into basically all areas of our lives. Driving, energy, travel, shopping, environmental regulations, fire safety.

Just so you know, whenever you hear these words – sustainable, kind, safe, they’re communistic terms. They are taking freedoms away from you.

We shouldn’t be cushioning or cocooning our young ones, we should be teaching them responsibility, observation and joy.

Fuck Safety. Say No.

Is your mind closed to the wonder of this world?

Do you believe there’s only one way to success?

Do you have regrets?

Are you over-analysing and wasting your time?

There is potential and possibility absolutely everywhere.

Get moving.

Everyone has their specialist subject they can’t help but talk about.

Abortion

Religion

Gun Control

Culture

The Plandemic

Good VS Evil

To Jab or Not To Jab

Big State, No State

Fill in the blank. 

Don’t get me wrong, I consume a lot of podcasts and am fascinated about people discussing this stuff. Truly.

But I’m not really an ‘issues’ guy. I like solutions and what I observe is the pontificators don’t really have any answers and defer to whatever higher power.

The point of life is to get things done, no matter how hard it may seem at first.

If there is one ‘issue’ that I focus on, it’s that business is the most peaceful way for people to interact. Business is a mutual exchange or as close to it as you can get.

So the reason I don’t talk about all the different issues in the public marketplace of ideas is because it just creates more energy towards the black-pilling we see so much of.

Call me Pollyanna.

Call me airy-fairy.

Call me, not a talker but, a DOER!

The other day I was talking about a phrase I really don’t like “my other half.” Today, I am talking about a phrase that’s enormously overused.

Two main possibilities here.

1. Are you really sorry? Do you regret the decision you made? Are you truly penitent or would you do exactly the same thing again? Something to consider.

BUT!

2. (And this is the far more common) – are you apologising for no good reason? Do you lack self-worth? Did you actually do anything wrong? Are you trying to appease or people-please?

Let’s face it, most people suffer from meekness and a major lack of confidence. Are you one of those people?

We Brits have a reputation of saying sorry a lot! When we bump into each other in the street, even the person that was bumped into will apologise to diffuse the situation. We’ve become very soft (mostly because our best men were killed in two totally pointless World Wars!)

We say sorry because we want to be liked and it’s very dangerous.

One of the most damaging parts of my recently-ended relationship was not being able to define boundaries, not being able to discuss anything so I said sorry over and over again but last night, whilst I was laying in bed, it really struck me just how much I belittled myself and just how much, actually, my ex-boyfriend belittled me (all the time!).

Don’t let people get your back up. Don’t let ‘em take advantage of you. You’re sovereign, you’re an individual and, as such, you are afforded all the same respect as any other person. Anyone who tells you otherwise, run!

Courage – make no mistake, it takes strength and bravery to admit where you are and to make the move to a better life.

Consistency – the initial flurry of wanting to change is great but not enough to keep you going. Realise that a lot of success is repetitive and challenging. One sit-up does not a six-pack make. Find the enjoyment and satisfaction to keep you moving. Be patient.

Connection – Are you truly connected to your vision. Does it stir you and make you feel excited? Alive?

Always remember, it is YOUR life and you get to live it YOUR way.

Ugh! Shudder! It always makes me tremble when I hear people refer to their significant other as their other half. The definition of co-dependence.

No, most people are living their lives the wrong way round. Life is not outside in, it’s inside out. Find anyone who says “don’t look inwards”, you’ll find someone very controlling.

I ask you again, what is it that you really want?

But Martin, that is so selfish, you’ll say.

Please observe the people who say you’re selfish for wanting what you want and, guess what, you’ll encounter people who just want you to do what they want you to do.

It’s a massive cliché now to say “build your own dream or find yourself building someone else’s.” but it’s true. We’re all here for a reason and your quest, should you choose to accept it, is to find your path and leave others to theirs.

And, on occasion, you’ll find someone to walk with you but never, ever, take a step thinking you’re incomplete.

You are complete, you just don’t know it yet.

What does stylish mean to you?

Glamour? Nice, fitted clothes? A flashy watch? Great shoes?

These are part of it but there’s a lot more, of course.

When you observe a stylish person, how do they move? How do they hold themselves?

First, they are measured, calm. They do not rush nor flap – they are focused.

Second, they’re dignified, respectful. They move through the world elegantly, with poise.

Third, they have character. Do you see a stylish person shouting or spitting in the street? No. Are they a beached whale calling themselves plus size? No.

Fourth, and perhaps most importantly, they embrace their unique, individualistic aspects.

Embrace who you are and do it stylishly.

How invested are you in yourself?

What’s your mission?

How are you going to get to your dream state?

What are you great at?

How can you be better?

What do you do to foster peace in the day-to-day?

What do you want?

What do You want?

What do YOU want?

Nobody else can answer these questions for you.

Nobody else can do these things for you.

Nobody else can decide these things for you.

Always remember it’s your life.

Choose your pace.

Choose your focus.

Do it every day.

Remind yourself daily what you want, write it down.

It’s always your turn!

OH, I see, you disagree with me.

You’ll find that people will result to insult when you disagree with them. It’s about as far as either their emotions or pea-sized brains can muster.

Pay no heed.

Keep soldiering on.

Are you one of those that believes you’re free from consequences?

Do you believe things will magically fall into your lap?

Be honest, are you a little (or majorly!) entitled?

I am holding my hands up and confessing that I have been and still continue to be all of these things. Life’s a work in progress, I’m making efforts to better myself. Are you?

I am definitely not a ‘rules’ person. A rule is a universal and if you haven’t been living under a rock for the last few years, you’ll realise that what people do are interpretations of what we know to be ‘guidelines’ or ‘principles’ or ‘laws’.

Smoke and mirrors, my friend, smoke and mirrors.

If many people are talking about a particular ‘rule’, the powers that be are using that as a means of control, to mould, shape and nudge behaviour in you.

It’s very, Very, VERY hard not to succumb to it.

Look at what’s happening to @LozzaFox #LaurenceFox in the #HighCourt. We are to believe the man’s a racist and obviously it’s total bullshit.

You have a choice every day of how far you push the envelope. Laurence has taken it far further than most but I applaud him standing up for the truth. THE Truth. His perspective is radically different from the mainstream narrative and from what many believe but he’s taking a truly principled stand, he’s immensely brave.

Are you?

It’s a law of nature, whether you chose to accept it or not, that every cause has an effect and what you put in is what you get out.

And this means for everything

Your Health

Your Wealth

Your Business

Your Principles

Your Relationships

Today, make a positive difference. Stand up for Laurence.

If you’re gleeful or cheerful that he’s being taken down, that says far more about you than about him and don’t believe you’re immune. The faith and trust you have in the institutions is misplaced and if you haven’t realised that yet you’re either wildly gullible or evil.

It all comes back to you.

Doubts?

Insecurities?

Anxiety?

Neh, none of those.

The truth is you don’t like yourself.

You don’t trust yourself.

AND! You want people to like you.

It’s the biggest trap in the world.

Start expecting better from your life and ‘do the thing’.

There’s no doubt about it – it’s tough sticking to your guns when you’re on a mission that’s really meaningful to you.

From the earliest of ages and from all directions, your creativity and curiosity are crushed by the system. Unbelievable as it is, many really don’t want you to think independently. They don’t want you to question the orthodoxy. They want you in the Matrix. It’s easier for them and more lucrative.

Sad but true.

So breaking free is the greatest but most frightening thing you can do.

I wander to a stately home called Chatsworth in my native Derbyshire (look it up) many times a week. It is exceptionally beautiful, grand and BIG! But yesterday, I looked at it and the figurative mist cleared from my eyes to realise that it, like any other building or mission, was built stone by stone and glass pane by glass pane.

So too will your vision be when you decide to stick to the path you are carving out for yourself.

Steadily and surely – we can do it!

Nope, I’m afraid I can’t.

Think about all the bills and charges you pay in your daily life. What do you notice these days?

Well, it’s all about making the lives easier for the people you’re paying. You have to fit in with their schedules. You have to make adjustments to your life.

It’s all the wrong way round.

And a lot of it is because of bad organisation.

Plenty too about entitlement.

I fully believe in personal responsibility and taking charge of what is your business but people making demands when they’re the ones being paid.

Neh, they can fuck off.

Okay, I know it’s silly but on occasion, I get into correcting grammar in the YouTube comments.

Yes, yes, silly, silly.

But I thought this warranted a mention.

A lady commented that I was ‘gatekeeping’ the English language from the rest of the non-native speakers.

It struck me as both an odd and obvious thing to say. 

Of course, when you have a literary and historical connection with one of the most beautiful languages in the world, naturally you want it to be used properly, I certainly do. Of course, it is futile to get into these beefs in the comments but here’s the real lesson.

When you encounter a lot of people, they will not have the standards that you have, they will find it equally odd to find someone sticking up for their country and their language. And if you think about it, what is a simpler word for gatekeeping, why, it’s boundaries of course.

People don’t like that either and interestingly in a later comment, she informed me that, unlike me, most people in England are more progressive. I ask, is progressivism for progressivism’s sake necessarily a great thing?

Something to think about.

It’s really dawning on me just how much I have panicked in my life! That I’ve always been preparing to put out fires because, frankly, I grew up in an incredibly fragile and unpredictable environment and I allowed it to carry on right through university, my working life, so-called friendships.

Always preparing for the worst.

Always worrying what other people will think.

Drop the shit! Drop it.

Being an adult means taking responsibility for yourself. What most miss is that it also means you don’t have to justify yourself to other people – the trap of people pleasing is a miserable, unsolvable and relentless one.

Pay attention to how you relate with people.

Pay attention to how you conduct yourself.

And, for goodness sake, do what you need to do.

There will always be lovers and haters.

Start to trust yourself.

Imagine the worst case scenario (that I know is going on in your MIND) and ask yourself how terrible it would be if it happened in REAL life. You’ll soon realise that a) it probably won’t even happen and b) it wouldn’t be anything as terrible as you imagine.

The imagination is both a blessing and a curse. Address the balance and make sure you’re using your mental faculties to live a peaceful, joyful and relaxed life.

It’s all in your head!

Strange as it might sound, the vast majority of people live life so cautiously that they go into any situation aspiring not to win but to not lose.

I’ve seen so many people give things a try laden with doubts and meekness that any opportunity is pretty much dead on arrival.

Playing to win takes bravery, no doubt but the rewards, those my friend will be GREAT!

Try as they might, people will give you advice about anything you can imagine. Some of the time it will be heartfelt, some of the time it will be because they just want you to do as they do.

The instinct to totalitarianism is in all of us. If only people just did what I do, then there would be no need for discussion or wasting time trying to reach compromise.

Last night, I put a note through a neighbour’s door telling her to leave me alone. There are some people who simply want to be involved in absolutely everything, regardless of whether you welcome it or not. Let people know your boundaries.

Know your own mind and create the life that works for you.

And, do you know what? We’re mostly making things up as we  go along.

Rules are a nice idea but most follow what they’re told to do – even if the instructions are contradictory.

Very few really think for themselves. It’s quite hard to think as it happens. It requires honesty and bravery and the admission that we haven’t behaved in powerful and positive ways.

Egos have become so huge that most simply can’t say “I don’t know.” They are three very simple words but people hate looking stupid.

Do not do this.

Admit that you don’t know everything and then, guess what……

EXPLORE!

It’s one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard.

In the early 2000s, I visited a university friend who was living Venice. It was at Carnivale time, the streets were full of colourful characters. Music played and the drinks were VERY expensive! Ha ha!

My friend had gone downstairs to make a phone call, arranging meeting at a party later and she was talking about who she was bringing (me and another university friend of ours).

I couldn’t make out most of what she said but, when talking about me, she simply said. “He’s stunning.”

I remember smiling, halfway down the stairs. It was sweet. 

Funny though, that as time has gone on, it is harder to believe the nice stuff. There is a great scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere tells Julia Roberts that she is a “very bright, very beautiful woman.” She says. “The bad stuff is easier to believe. Ever notice that?”

Do you cancel out the great stuff for just one little jab, for just one little negative remark or sleight?

Start believing you’re worth more and then live it! 

How difficult is it to relax!!!

Seriously.

What I’ve realised recently is just how hard I find it to sit down, relax and feel good about myself. Very, very difficult.

We believe that busy is good.

We believe that relaxing is lazy.

Remember, music is the space between notes. Just observe what happens when you listen to slow music and fast music.

You believe certain things are inevitable. That success must be a fight, for example or that to be an artist, you have to be poor. Is it inevitable? Are the panic and stress necessary evils? 

OR!

Are you programming yourself and creating a particular future?

You tell yourself that you must always be doing something. That you have to fill your day with activity after activity.

I fully believe in being productive but you have to make the room for acknowledging what you’ve done, to reflect, to analyse to a certain extent, to be grateful – all this to say you have to enjoy life as well as build it.

You want to control everything, all the time. It ain’t possible yet you fill the space with panic. You focus on the things you believe you’ve got wrong. You’re hard on yourself. You beat yourself up and for what? For what you think others are thinking about you? That there is only one route to the top of the mountain.

There is no right or wrong way. There is only your way.

Regret nothing, learn from everything.

Many like to sound clever.

They appeal to so-called experts.

They say ‘look at this data’ – or if they want to sound smart they say ‘these data’.

Let’s face it, we’re all just making it up as we go along and sometimes, you’ll find something you really chime with. Something that can be your cure-all, deal-with-any-objection go to subject.

For some it’s sport.

Others it’s religion.

Perhaps it’s fashion.

Or Politics.

Or Power.

Oppression maybe.

Sexuality.

Skin Colour.

We all latch onto something.

In my mind, the truth is what counts. You recognise it, as do I. It’s undeniable and you feel it but you run away from it.

Why?

You don’t like to stand out from the crowd, take a stance and live with the consequences. To me, that’s far better than a life lived by lies.

So, how do you know? Whatever it is – it makes you feel genuinely joyful. Go with that!

Yep, here we go!

“You’re selfish.”

“You’ve changed.”

“You don’t listen to me.”

Knowing what I know of people, whenever someone calls you selfish – it means they are. Psychologist types call it projection, don’t you know.

It means you aren’t agreeing with them 100% of the time.

It means you aren’t doing the things they want to do 100% of the time.

On the positive side – it means you are doing things your way.

Most people don’t like you doing things your way, it means they can’t control you like they used to (like you allowed them to.)

I have tried desperately hard to make things work even when it’s been destructive and I have taken on the responsibility of other people. 

STOP! Look! Listen!

Why are you not walking your own path? 

Who are you protecting?

What are you avoiding?

Where are you in your own life?

Why are you denying yourself the things you want?

Take a solid lesson learnt, from me. Stop taking responsibility and making excuses for other people. That’s their job. And it’s really fucking difficult to do when you can see ‘potential’ in them. That’s their job too, to realise it or not.

The Path of One means this – understand what you CAN and CAN’T change and what makes your life better and more wholesome.

If you’re avoiding/procrastinating over the wonderful dreams you have, that does no one any good – most of all you. It means you feel you don’t deserve things and it means you will drift through your entire life and waste it.

I will repeat – the greatest lesson I learnt from my mentor – the greatest concentration of genius is in graveyards – DEAD! I learnt many lessons of morbidity and despair from my ex and in parting as he left my life for the last time – I reminded him that everything he focused on was gone but that I was LIVING.

If you’re reading this, you have the chance of your life….. 

To make your life better.

To focus on joy and living.

To realise your true power and true worth.

If someone calls you selfish for that? Well! Those are the people to relegate solely to your past, to wish well and move on for good.

You will have more energy.

Somedays you won’t feel like doing the work.

Here’s a tip, don’t just think what you’ll gain by doing the hardest/necessary work but what you’ll lose.

Do you really want to be in this same position in a year or two or five or ten? Do you want to drift for the rest of your life?

Remind yourself of who you want to be.

The person that gets the work done?

Or the loser?

Your choice.

Here we go, I’m going to be a bit of a girl and complain about my ex.

One of the things that used to drive me crazy about him was when I would do the tiniest of things like washing up or clearing something off the floor, he would often say.

“What’s wrong with your fingers?” when I would prefer to use a tissue for example. Tiny things, little things, so fucking irritating.

This is a large part of the work I’m doing to clear my head of his pernickety voice.

The wider point of this is to remember that, you know what I’m going to say, this is YOUR life. If you can’t be yourself without being relentlessly picked on, the relationship is likely dead on arrival.

Having the distance of time, I realise that he was trapped in a cycle of control. If it wasn’t his way, it was the wrong way. Ugly!

Be yourself and learn to say fuck off more.

Today I’m having a bit of an adventure. I’m viewing a house on the pretext of checking it out on behalf of other people to assess its suitability.

Not a lie but, yes, a bit cheeky. I insisted that I just meet with the agent and not the owners because I don’t want to get their hopes up too much.

Remember to nourish that child within, who got away with things, who embraced adventure – all with a smile on your face!

Have fun!

Ever find how people are so rigid.

They live by rules, they really believe them. They don’t see how heavily they are imposed by such a tiny faction and yet will base their lives so totally on people who a) don’t give a flying fuck about them and b) will never witness them obeying the rules.

I used to laugh at people stringently wearing masks and dictating to others they should do the same. “Do you think Boris Johnson can actually see you. Is he ticking you off the list as a good boy or girl?!”

You have to decide how you live your life.

In all things, never go out to intentionally hurt people but understand that when you stand up for what’s RIGHT – you will get a lot of resistance and scorn. It’s just part of being an adult.

When you live life flexibly and realise that nothing is set in stone you can have some incredible adventures. When you’re open, you become resilient. Why? Because when you are truly open, not only do you try things others wouldn’t but you leave the space for the solutions to come to you too.

As bleak as it sounds…

There is no ‘law’. It is fabricated and manipulated never objective.

There is no ‘society’. Only individuals and families. – Thatcher! Brilliant.

There is no one size fits all. Be free – that’s what the Western World formerly got right.

You’ll hear about life hacks to make your room conducive to work in and they go some way – leave your phone in another room, isolated from noise etc.

What you don’t hear is how critical it is that your space is filled with things that are YOUR taste and NOT someone else’s.

Case in point – I’ve just photographed all of the furniture that is associated with my ex (except the bed! Will deal with that later) that I will sell and clear from my life.

Never let people live rent free in your life nor in your home.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…

It is YOUR life.

(Goodness, lots of ALL CAPS in this post!)

Have you ever been a perfectionist? I certainly have.

I believe in all of us there is the call to adventure, to penetrate the unexplored, to lay new ground.

I am reminded of a question a mentor once posed me, “Where is the greatest concentration of genius?”

ANSWER?: Graveyards.

The vast populace who never went for it. The majority who lived lives of tragic waste.

If there is something you’re nervous about, it’s a great opportunity to get more resilient and to show yourself that, after the fact, things are not quite as difficult or as scary as you thought.

What will you overcome today?

…It’s quite another to actually do the work.

Crippling resistance can prevent you from making progress. Don’t let it.

Just assume that, in the beginning, things are going to feel messy, weird, uncomfortable and, often, frightening. You simply have to work your way through it.

Freedom comes at a cost – a huge degree of uncertainty. Looking at the mountain and wondering how you’re going to climb it means you won’t know every nook and cranny, every crevice, the easy sections and the hard slogs.

You just have to take that first step, then the next and then the next.

When you watch any master of his craft, he makes it look easy, that’s because it is easy for him – NOW! Of course, you understand that the overnight success takes many, many years to achieve.

I saw a great Andrew Tate tweet the other day – “You said tomorrow yesterday.”

Make today, the day. It’s all you have.

We Brits love a good institution.

Most deify the NHS as the shining example of Social Healthcare and dismiss the ground principles that Christianity has so obviously given us.

We love our Monarchy and glorify particularly the Late Queen Elizabeth II despite the fact she happily entertained Middle Eastern warlords and Asian Communist Dictators.

The strength and dignity of Brits (well actually the English really) comes from realising we, until recently, value the individual, the personal struggles and overcoming evil and complacency.

The key to living your very best life is realising how little you have control over and learning to focus in on and hone your skills, your productivity and your ability to drown out the ubiquitous noise of the modern world.

It’s why I left London and returned to my native Derbyshire.

London is not real. It’s an idea. Artificial, chaotic, the seat of power, it is not the seat of principle nor peace.

We have an innate nature of space, prosperity and of being IN nature. 

Cities are illness and stress.

The Country (meaning both nature and home) are wellness.

Every single day this month, and going on, I have been doing my blog post, I have been posting on social media and doing my YouTube video. Just like I said I would.

Guess what’s happened?

Voices in my head (which aren’t real!) telling me I’m not doing enough. I’m not doing this well.

It’s going to happen, carry on regardless.

Don’t go round.

Don’t go over or under.

Go Through!

Each one of us is on this planet for a special reason. Of course, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.

I’ve wasted time trying to figure out other peoples’ motives and totally ignored my own.

Do not do this.

What do you love doing?

What have you always enjoyed doing?

What makes your heart sing and bring you alive?

Yep, my friend, that’s the stuff to do.

Very rarely is the problem knowing WHAT to do. Most commonly, the problem is lacking the bravery to do stuff.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

I was on Twitter this morning, scrolling through the feed, and something that comes up a lot of men’s circles is the idea therapy is for losers.

Okie doke, it’s a perspective. Go to the gym INSTEAD, make money INSTEAD.

Here’s what I think. Why not both?

Everyone else has a coach, right? Actors, Dancers, Gym Goers, Aspiring businessmen, Writers. Everyone who’s successful has a coach, so if there are things you really need to sort out, why not ask for the advice and support of someone objective, someone impartial, someone who’s experienced what you’ve gone through and can offer good advice?

Live abundantly.

I’ve been watching a fantastic podcast with my favourite creator James Delingpole with a couple of political dissidents.

The title of this post is a quote from one of them.

You believe that voting is you enacting political freedom, of expressing your point of view – it’s a falsehood, a total illusion.

I’ve never been one for sticking it to the man, for slotting myself into someone else’s frame work and the illusion of democracy is the most poignant and dangerous example of believing that because you have a ‘right’ to do something, it is the right thing to do.

You have the right to vote (apparently!) but that doesn’t mean it’s the right to HAVE TO vote.

Guess what, you can say NO!

You never know exactly how the day is going to turn out, nor the week, the month, the year, the decade.

This morning, I found myself looking up my ex’s profile on a hookup app and it was a strange sensation – marked in fact by the absence of any strong feeling. 

The benefit of time and distance is you can see things more clearly. Profiles lie because people lie in them. They put out an image of how they want to be seen rather than the truth.

Interestingly, the tagline in the profile (before he hit the block button) was “you don’t have to be perfect, just perfect for me.” – translation, agree with everything I say and do whatever I want you to do. A deceptive manipulation of the truth, attempting to sound comical and a tag in the profile of ‘kind’. 

Be kind.

Here’s the lesson – be kind to yourself. Don’t torture yourself.

Understand that you were born to experience good things, be treated well, be on the same wavelength with the people you surround yourself with.

A running theme in my posts recently is of honest, of telling the truth – you might find it difficult to find people you can actually do that with but make it your aim to have good people in your life that you can be open with.

Embrace the mess of it all.

Last night I found myself crying at a Sex And The City episode, again. It’s where Carrie tells Aidan that she’s cheated on him. It always gets me.

It’s only a few months since I split with my boyfriend. I am not a ‘should have’ kind of man but I am able to take responsibility for the fact that I could have ended things with him far sooner because all the red flags were there right from the start.

Life is not neat and tidy, it is messy. Accept it.

When starting anything new, acknowledge and accept that it will not be perfect, you’ll have to rummage around in the dark a bit, find out where the ground lays and go with it!

People are trying to distract you all the time, yes, all the time.

The other day, there was a power cut in part of my building (lots of different circuitry) and my next door neighbour, unaffected, came to my door in a panic. She talked and talked and talked without coming up for breath and eventually I had to keep slowly closing the door until I could escape.

This flat is a refuge, after the interaction, my heart raced and raced. It felt violating quite honestly. Peace is increasingly important to me these days, only way to get things done properly when you have your own space and your own boundaries.

News (look at the word – a collection of ‘new’ stuff) – unexamined, biased, meant to manipulate.

I watch no mainstream news, read no newspapers, watch no current TV. Admittedly, we’ll see stuff on Twitter and places – I have no TV licence.

Watch what you consume, I recently posted the 5 focuses for 2024 and one of them was to be a producer not a consumer. Start to curate your life, streamline and follow only productive/uplifting content.

What are you really going to do about the war in Ukraine? Really! Do you want to be part of this geo-political bullshit and end up having done nothing for yourself? 

No, you don’t do you. And understand, I get that it’s hard to disconnect from that and focus on what it is you want to do.

That is the lesson for this year – make your behaviour new and nothing else.

Honesty’s the best policy, right? That’s what we were brought up on, wasn’t it? Or am I mistaken?

Make no mistake, 99% of people HATE honesty. What they mean is agree with me or else!

In order to be an adult, keep this Socrates quote in your mind.

“The beginning of wisdom is the naming of terms.”

Most people hate labels, they deplore boundaries and they would sooner do anything than tell the truth. This is the first thing to acknowledge.

The second acknowledgement to make is to realise you are going to make enemies when you give your perspective of the truth. Note – not ‘your’ truth or ‘their’ truth – THE truth.

Amazingly, people disagree on facts, usually because they want to manipulate the truth in their favour or, worse, manipulate you. Don’t let them.

Third time you must acknowledge – that you are your own person, you do things your way and, as much as possible, go into the world aiming to make friends and let everything else go.

Acknowledge your right for freedom!

Yep, everything’s a choice, and everything is an action.

What you choose to spend your time doing will ultimately affect the entire course of your life.

Now!

I, like others, am not guilt tripping you into spending days where you’ve had five hours sleep and you must go for a morning run at three in the morning and then work non-stop on a project and eating one meal a day.

But, this year, focus on your patterns, both constructive and destructive, and start to analyse where you can improve and go do that thing.

If you are truly a grateful person, you can’t just appreciate the ‘good’ stuff.

No, if you are truly grateful, you find the necessary lessons housed within your struggles, falls, challenges and heartaches.

Is it nice? Like fuck is it!

It is brutal, painful, like trudging through treacle with no end in sight.

The key? Time, patience, understanding AND…

Asking for help.

Nobody actually does anything on their own. You need people, even if it is only a select few.

But guess what, they are out there and, uniquely in history, they are so easy to find if…

You want to be better. Do you?

You know, right? 

You know what you want.

That’s not the problem.

The problem is wanting it. Why do you feel like you shouldn’t get it? Why do you feel like you don’t deserve it? Why do you believe that other people should get what they want but not you?

HMMM!!!

Why do you have one rule for the world but not for you?

Likely (almost guaranteed frankly), you’ve been taught to please other people to get what you want.

BOLLOCKS!

We’re going into a New Year, please start here – go into everything assuming you can make it a success, that you deserve it when you do the work, that you deserve to have the life that YOU want.

Everyone has their coffee differently.

Some in small ways, some in big, some don’t have it at all.

There is something uniquely satisfying about food preparation, seeing a collection of ingredients laid out on a work surface, mixing them together and experiencing the magic when it’s done.

Some like it sweet.

Some like it bitter.

Strong, weak, with ice.

Meet people where they are.

If they’re a genuine dick, walk away, don’t try and change ‘em!

Have a plan, execute it and see the results.

Focus on being…

A Profit-Producer.

Peaceful.

Productive NOT consumptive.

Your Own Person.

Purposeful.

Many, many, many moons ago, I started building an internet marketing business, met a lot of people, I don’t know those people anymore.

I’ve tried so hard to ‘make things work!’ and wasted a lot of my time, energy and emotion. I’ve allowed myself to be taken over by emotional vampires.

The current challenge is letting go of my ex-boyfriend, I allowed him (even further) to infiltrate my thought process, taken on board his criticisms and endless prodding and questioning.

Learn to ask the right questions, start establishing yourself as an individual, instead of remembering the criticisms of others, start affirming that you know what ways of behaving suit you.

“This is how Martin does it and I love Martin Pavey.”

It sounds naff, it sounds grandiose but all you’re doing is programming your brain to start being your own person.

Be You To Free You.

Do you live in your head all the time?

Do you have aspirations that you do nothing about?

Do you want everything to be perfect?

That’s why you’re reading this because you know you aren’t where you could be.

Throw yourself in.

Knowing WHAT you want is essential but you will discover the HOWS when you get your hands dirty.

Go on! It’s fun and a bit frightening!

Every second is a decision.

Every word is meaningful.

Peace is always possible.

It’s up to you.

Your choice.

You’re always been prepared for something.

People will try and mould you so they can get their way.

Predictive programming is everywhere.

Confidence (With Faith) comes from knowing that you’re allowed to focus on your own ambitions and preferences.

No one else will do it for you.

It has to be YOU!

There are so many questions to ask!

Questions of life, of relationships, the nature of reality, what are we doing here, why are we here?

And please observe how people can violently disagree, fall out or agree wholeheartedly.

We all believe we have the answers.

We say we’ve failed when reality doesn’t meet our expectations. We feel bad when we are shocked and cling desperately to what we should let go of.

When something is unbelievable to you, what you’re saying is that it’s out of your control, that it’s too big to handle (or that you’re too small to deal with it).

Bollocks.

Within your pain and suffering is the key to unlock your potential. 

Don’t go round or over or under, go through what you fear most.

We all want the same things.

Deep down, we all have the same needs and desires.

Uhm, yeah, not really.

I’ve stopped paying attention to what people say.

I’ve started paying attention solely to what people do.

You’ll see it. The words and the actions don’t match.

“You need to start compromising.” – translation, you don’t do what I say.

“You need to stop being selfish.” – translation, I’m not getting what I want out of you or, more crucially, you’re highlighting my selfish behaviour.

As a gargantuan people-pleaser, I totally ignored what I wanted, I set no boundaries of my own, I said yes to everything.

Saying no is verboten in our society. Look what happens when you do. 

You’re called an anti-vaxxer, you’re called a conspiracy theorist, you’re called a fascist, you’re called a nazi, a climate-change denier and you know what all these labels really mean…..

You don’t believe the current thing and that makes you a baaaaaaaad person.

Right now, I am steadfastly single, of course I think about my ex-boyfriend but I learn more and more every day that the level of dysfunction would never have made me happy or peaceful. I allowed him, and many others (frankly everybody), to infiltrate my system, to set the terms of engagement and to walk over me.

I allowed it. Me.

You do too, in one way or another.

STOP!

Please God, just stop doing it.

The vast majority of people want war, observe what they do. They don’t want peace, they don’t want freedom, they don’t want discussion. They take every single side imaginable except their own and wind up angry. Very, VERY angry. Observe it.

Socrates (allegedly) said, “The beginning of wisdom is the naming of terms.” – start being honest about what you want and start working towards it.

Away from – anger.

Towards – joy.

Perhaps the biggest addiction of all is drama!

You crave the excitement, stimulation and immediacy of a good stress, a hot outburst.

Tell you what though, gets in the way of joy.

There are always good solutions.

Put yourself in the path of righteousness.

Everyone has an opinion.

Everyone, deep down, believes they can dictate the terms of service.

Everyone believes they can tell you what to do.

Pay not attention to what people say.

Pay attention only to what people do.

Your part, live your life.

Never complain because it’s always about stuff that has happened and cannot be changed.

Never explain because justifying yourself to others never changes anything.

Find solutions, that’s how you gain true influence and how you actually change things for the better, even if it’s in tiny ways.

Remember, it’s the small stuff that counts – kindnesses, understanding, supporting. Tiny in themselves, huge in impact.

Be consistent.

Be brave.

Be You.

Permission, permission, permission.

I’ve spent a lifetime asking for permission to live my own life.

Have you too?

Here’s what I observe, that everyone else feels perfectly entitled to behave in whatever way they want but bristle at the idea of anyone else doing things differently.

Start to get confident.

Start to assert yourself.

Start to be your own person.

Let’s face it, we’re all putting our stuff out on social media, wanting to be seen. It’s a scant few that genuinely don’t participate.

Whenever you meet someone always assume they want ‘their way’ to be the ‘right way’. Let experience dictate the reality. 

Don’t be prejudiced they say, well, you’re going to do it anyway. You have a worldview, you have preferences and biases. Get over it, it doesn’t actually matter as much as people say.

It’s why things ultimately failed with my boyfriend because I simply wouldn’t accept his hypocrisy anymore, saying he believed one thing but blatantly behaving oppositely.

Start to be around people that you can be honest with. You’ll find it’s very few you can!

Oh, and start seeing yourself first before needing others to do it for you!

Got a massive long list of things to do?

Stressed, tired, fucked off?

Feel like you’re a visitor in your own life?

Sounds familiar right.

Here’s the first thing you need to do.

STOP!

Nothing great was ever achieved in stress or anger, I guarantee you.

Here’s the next thing you need to do.

Think of things you love. And they don’t need to be MAAAAASSIVE! Tiny little things that make you smile. Teeny things that put a spring in your step.

For example,

2024 is a very neat year because it starts on a Monday, I love things like that. Monday 1st January, feels like how it’s meant to be, d’ya get me?

Growing up with everyone around me saying “oh, we must do that.” or “all this stuff we’re going to have to do.” Fuck that for a bucket of frogs.

What do YOU WANT to do? And remember to feel good about doing it and feel good about yourself. Guilt and inferiority are terrible thieves of joy.

Start doing lovely things!

Yep, I’ve let things slip. I was writing every day, I was letting my fears, frustrations, hopes and dreams out. Being honest, exorcising the demons.

Trauma has a way of taking you out of yourself, disconnecting, finding that you’re drifting through life, surviving not living.

It’s the day of November today, the year’s almost done, here’s something I’ve learned…

Hurry has no place here – if you’re going to have a satisfying and joyful life.

Stress is inevitable, don’t try and fight it by failing to acknowledge it’s there. There are ways to deal with it and, despite this sounding a really passive and scary thing, slowing down to speed up (that I learnt from Tim Ferriss) is a winner.

Try as you might to get everything you want done all the same time is a recipe for procrastination and burnt out. 

The body is not designed to be under constant pressure, short-sharp bursts yes, relentlessly and perpetually no.

Fucking Relax! Then get to work.

You think you have an idea of ‘history’.

This happened, then that happened and something else resulted from that. 

World War I started because some bloke shot an archduke out on parade.

No, no, no, no, no.

Nothing exploded and then we have an ever expanding universe. (A bullet that was fired and then sped up?!)

How the fuck can we know that? How is that even possible?

Why did he break up with me?

Why did she leave me all on my own?

How could they have behaved like that?

Questions, questions, questions.

Start asking some good ones, like…..

What can I do today that my future self will thank me for and that’ll make me feel good, even great, about yourself.

You can’t know what other people are thinking.

Nor can you know that other people are feeling.

Start to be decisive, make sense of your reality and everything will follow.

Sometimes in life, there’s a high price to pay for your decisions.

What’s the result?

Are you being more truthful?

Are you being more honest about who you are?

Are you living with more integrity?

Those, my friend, are the real questions to ask.

It’s painful to let go of what you thought you loved, it’s ego death. The universe fooled you, it seems, and you feel resentful.

Many a harsh word has been thrown at doomed scenarios, you have to learn to roll with the punches and take a fucking battering. It’s edifying.

If you live to tell the tale, here’s what, it didn’t kill you and you’re stronger than you believe.

Keep going.

I’ve had a half-completed jigsaw on my table for a while now. Jigsaws are so tantalising, they invite you to get the job done, to complete the picture, to make sense of things by putting them in order.

Relationships, not so easy.

Having irrevocably split with my boyfriend, I can’t lie, a piece of me feels missing. Relationships, remember, are a routine. There are things you will do every day that, even though annoying, provide structure.

Truth is, whenever people have referred to their significant other as ‘their other half’, I always balked at the phrase. Makes me cringe.

There are so many thoughts in your head, beliefs, principles, rules, it’s very hard to distinguish truth from falsehood.

I know in time, I’ll come back to myself again and my feet will land on terra firma.

Until then, breathe, get lots of good rest and know that it will all be okay.

This time, too, will pass.

Is to be free.

Is to be joyful.

Is to be confident and self-assured.

I want to state my case without guilt.

Do your absolute level best not to cram too much into situations.

I think in the modern world we’ve lost the art of simplicity.

Some of my absolute favourite memories are of sitting around with family and friends, eating great but simple food I’ve cooked – roast chicken, crumble, soup and bread. Comforting, colourful, delicious.

Somethings in life work. Others don’t.

You can’t make things something they’re not and that goes for work, leisure, relationships, what you like and what you don’t.

Stop beating yourself up.

Love and let go.

The very worst has happened! Are you still alive? Yes, good.

Things always seem much more worse than they really are, we like a good catastrophising! If you’re still here, there’s something you can do.

Find your own space.

My head goes into a fucking whirl when things get even slightly too much for me. 

It feels like the world’s ending, doesn’t it?!

That you can’t find a way out of things.

Start paying attention to how you react.

Notice the patterns.

Notice what sets you off.

And nothing else.

For goodness sake, don’t try to sort out everything at once because that only adds fuel to the flames.

Breathe.

Don’t you find yourself short of breath sometimes?

Can’t find air.

Can’t focus.

Can’t relax.

Anxious, worried, desperate.

NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Find physical space for yourself – get out for a walk if nothing else.

Find headspace for yourself – close your eyes, count to ten, lock the bathroom door. 

There’s so much going on in the world that nothing makes sense sometimes. You feel it, I feel it, everyone at some point feels the same.

You can get to where you need and want to be, give yourself time.

Let’s face it, being a human being is a complex thing.

Man, traditionally, are strong.

They have a mind.

They have a dick that we like to fuck with and wank too (yes, yes, whether it’s right or wrong, we do it)

We have aspirations.

We like to build walls and have borders.

But, let’s be honest, in the last 50 years at least, we’ve not had the easiest time of being healthy.

Pubs were taken over by women.

Gyms were taken over by women.

Politics has been taken over by women.

Public life has been taken over by women.

The office has been taken over by women.

Are we any happier?

Do you struggle to establish your own identity? I certainly do.

If you want to do anything significant, it seems you’ll always be at odds with some in your life.

Admitting where you are can sometimes be a massive ego death. What you’ve done, what you haven’t done, wishing things were different, unable to accept what you fear the most.

After finally being forced to accept that a particular relationship simply won’t work, I am confronted with a thought and feeling you and many will have faced……

Having to start all over again. Feels like that doesn’t it.

Feeling rudderless and directionless is terrifying, no getting away from it. I’ve decided that I need some help. 

Some like the idea of therapy, others ridicule it. I’m happy to give it a proper go and see what insights come from it – with the understand that there is no perfect solution to anything, just going with your gut feeling.

No matter how much you try, you’ll never just paper over the cracks and expect everything to hold together.

You need support, I need support, we all do. No denying that either.

And for different people, that person will come in a different form. A coach, a therapist, a trainer, a doctor, a friend, a family member. Whoever.

Making your own way means just that, going with what you’re drawn to, immersing yourself in the process, being patient with it, being open.

Are you open to being helped?

Are you open to getting better?

Answer these questions today.

We have this idea in our minds that when a bell rings, we are duty bound to answer it.

Demands are made.

People lay their cards on the table.

Does the answer always have to be yes?

No, I don’t think so.

But sometimes, it’s hard to know anything for sure. Sometimes, it’s very difficult to trust people and things don’t make sense. 

Do you feel confused? I certainly do.

After a certain point, if something is going to work it will and, of course, some will not.

The decision to abandon people, places and projects can be very guilt-ridden but living life honestly is more important, no matter the pains.

I remain an optimist, that things will fall into their proper places.

Do you?

Are you okay now?

Without your thoughts – regrets of the past, fears of the future – are you actually doing okay?

Grief is a weird thing. Necessary but weird.

Grief, regret, sorrow are all ways you fool yourself into believing you can change the past.

Everything happens based on reality, there are things you love, you hate, that irritate you, that bring you joy and fulfilment.

You pay close attention to the 1% of things that have gone against your wishes, yet ignore the vast, vast, vast majority of things that have gone right.

Gratitude is one thing but don’t let the myriad worries you have dictate how you live your life.

Let grief be a releasing process, letting go of what you thought you wanted but didn’t actually serve you.

Your life is meant to be lived, not endured.

Do you see animals debating the meaning or nature of the universe? 

No.

Do you see animals analysing the state of their relationships, like we do?

No.

Do you see animals tormenting themselves over past decisions?

No.

You are a meaning-maker, you establish the validity of engaging or disengaging based on what value you will accrue, if it will enrich or enhance your life, if it will make your life easier, freer, etc.

Relationships are really fucking difficult, they require that two people come together and make sacrifices and hardly anybody wants to and even fewer achieve it.

You will generally see one person being more dominant and the other adopting a more submissive role – it’s just easier that way. Understand?

Resignation is far more common than you’d think. For the easier life, so many will simply submit because they don’t want to fight but here’s the thing, it always comes out eventually, you will eventually explode and it’s why you should ask questions as soon as possible and say no way more.

If you can’t say no safely and simply, the relationship is doomed. Doomed and dead on arrival.

The big lesson that most struggle to learn is this…..

You can disagree (say no) peacefully. It’s very hard but it is possible.

Say what you mean, mean what you say and do it straight away.

I’m writing this post very late in the day but I’ll do it anyway.

Isn’t life confusing?

Isn’t life frightening?

Isn’t life an opportunity?

Write this blog post minutes from Midnight.

Wake the up the man who wrote it rather than say “tomorrow, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.”

Now, all you have.

We all do. We love it.

Religious people love to stress.

Atheists love to stress.

Old and Young love to stress.

It’s everywhere. Someone always wants to sell you the solution.

Where does stress come from? Letting someone else take the responsibility for your solutions.

Can’t do it. Won’t work. Never has. Never will.

It’s always down to you. Leave people to themselves.

I like me a dramatic title! This one’s a bit tongue in cheek.

How many people do you know who want to be everything to everyone? People pleasers get flappy and stressed and the saying used to go everyone is suffering in silence, guess what, they ain’t doing it so silently!

I left London because I eventually had enough of the homeless and drug addicts, the ridiculous cyclists, the police and ambulance sirens incessantly passing where I lived.

Enough! Enough. There are the crucial times in life when you have to decide what it is you want and go for it. As I said in my last post, no perfect system. There are risks and rewards, there are advantages and sacrifices.

In the scant three weeks up in my native countryside hometown, there have been moments where I’ve sightly missed my experience of London. I lived in a fantastic area and was able to walk to all the major sites that draw millions of people from the four corners of the world to visit and spend their time and money.

The moments of missing London are few and far between and incredibly fleeting. Why?

No peace.

No camaraderie.

Increasingly, no beauty.

It’s one thing to witness people being confused and confrontational, it’s another when you allow it to wear off them and onto you.

Nope, do not want to be part of anyone else’s existential angst, ta very much. You have to leave people to it. People have the free will to do what they want but they have no right to infringe on your life.

People may say I’m in an existential crisis by having no friends. Let ‘em think it. I simply see myself as very clear about what I want and don’t want around me and I struck gold with my boyfriend. Truly. Frankly, the only thing truly gay about us is that we fuck (and shop a bit).

Being open does not mean you have to say yes to everything. Do not confuse being easy going with being a doormat.

Focus on your influence.

Have you wasted vast amounts of time trying to get everything perfect?

Have you found yourself saying you’ll do something when the circumstances have been exactly right?

I know I have.

I’ve said it many a time, life is messy and getting anything meaningful done requires you to embrace the imperfection of it all.

Why? Because, usually, doing anything significant will involve other people and, here’s the truth…

No one wants what you want as much as you want it yourself. They just don’t.

I’ve taken to accepting that when I feel nervous or anxious or worried, it means something is worth doing and worth doing sooner rather than later.

Easy? No.

Worthwhile? Yes. Definitely!

Sounds like a good way to fuck, right?

I knew what you were thinking when you read that title, dirty cunt.

Everyone wants a piece of you.

Everyone thinks they know best.

What do YOU want?

Remember that!

Words don’t embody their meaning anymore.

In the States, Democrat means communist, Liberal means fascist. No joke.

In the whole of the Western World, Diversity means replacement, Inclusion means censorship, Equity means annihilation.

Again, I am not kidding.

Every breath you take, means someone is trying to get something out of you.

You have to learn to say no to those who do not care about you.

I’m lucky. I have a pretty good idea of what people intend and I am learning to say no but it’s hard sometimes.

Growing up a people pleaser means I feel guilty about saying no, I feel embarrassed, often, by what I feel and fulfilling my needs can be a real fucking struggle.

Learn to have a tight group of people you trust, who want the best for you and vice versa. I have a beautiful boyfriend who does this, again, lucky!

Start to be more confident with your language, say what you mean and mean what you say.

Two weeks I’ve been back Up North after leaving London. Started at a new gym yesterday, second consecutive day today.

BOSCH!

WHOOSH!

THUD!

I am struggling to keep my eyes open at the moment but write this post anyway I will.

We humans are shit at predicting things, try anyway though, we do.

You can only learn through experience.

It will be messy and some days will be better, and more productive, than others.

Key aim – get stuff done.

Always talking about where you want to be?

Yeah, how about where you are?

Be honest.

Be truthful.

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, honey!

If you’re any age, you’re going to have ingrained personality traits you need to deal with – just deal with them.

Don’t spend so long on the whys, focus on what you need to do with your spiralling emotions, your anxieties and, yep…

Don’t let life get the better of you, get on with your life.

Everything has to be amplified these days.

It’s not enough to have peace and joy in your life.

You’re pulled in a million different directions all at once and it gets to the point you think,

“What the fuck is going on?”

Focus, my friend focus. You need to hone in on what counts – that will be different for everyone in small and big ways.

Gratitude is one thing, and very important, but purpose is also key.

Why are you here?

Who really are you?

What can you contribute?

How can you be greater in your pursuits?

Where are you falling short and how can you improve?

Be honest about your gifts. Invest your effort and energy in them.

I’m very happy.

After months of hanging in London Limbo, I’ve officially escaped to the country. 

Being back in my native Derbyshire, in the village I spent most of my childhood in makes me realise just how fucking crazy England’s capital is.

Here, the air is clear, the people are relaxed and friendly, they’re NORMAL!

Of course, nothing is ideal, nothing is perfect and within several days of being here, other residents of the block I live in were making veiled demands of me.

Life happens.

People happen.

There will always be those nipping at your feet. This is where the Peace Test comes in.

You have a choice of what you allow into your life.

You have a choice of how you behave.

No matter what age people are, they want attention, they want to be heard (whether for the right or destructive reasons). Don’t fall.

I learnt a phrase years ago from Tim Ferriss when he described dealing with Internet Trolls – starve them of oxygen (metaphorically speaking of course!). He also said to assume that such people have way more free (i.e. useless) time to spare on negative behaviour.

Accept it, move on, be peaceful.

You can do better than them.

I arranged removal men for my flat move yesterday, got £150 off just by asking.

People will write things and just expect you to accept them – no, challenge things that are patently false.

I was told that I had to collect keys for my new property at an inconvenient place, I asked for other options, now the keys are being brought to me.

Each and everyone of us wants things our way, I’m happy to admit it and most of the time I get what I want, sometimes I don’t.

If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.

Stand up for yourself.

I’ve wasted a lot of time trying to convince people of things.

Guess what works better?

Letting people know your own preferences, telling them yes or no according to your principles, and when you can’t do this peacefully with people, time to move on.

The truth is, most people don’t want discussion, they just want to be right but don’t make it your business.

People rarely change their opinions, most don’t know how, be with people you can be yourself with.

I’ve had to make lots of telephone calls and answer e-mails today. When doing anything significant, the likelihood is you’re going to be dealing with other people and….

…They don’t want what you want as much as you do.

So, we are patient – not in terms of time – but in terms of approach.

Anger solves nothing, shouting down the phone gets you nowhere, anger separates, patience elevates.

Also remember, do you want to be the person that feels the anger you direct at others. Are you so perfect? Are any of us?

With the loss of religion in our society, we have lost a great trait that goes with patience and that is humility, dignity too and let’s throw in grace for good measure.

You and I both know that violence, aggression, destruction never actually work in the end. Again, why patience is important. You, just like I, want to do everything all in the one go and immediately.

Neh!

Be productive, be effective, be efficient but do it in the spirit of love.

Learn to focus on get the job done, not how long it’s going to take. Human beings are notoriously bad at estimating how long things are going to take. 

If you’re going to achieve something in 6 months or 6 years, it really doesn’t matter. The only thing that counts is doing the work each day and having your goal in mind.

Stop wasting your time on things you can’t change and that don’t matter.

And take action.

Action is what makes the difference. When I started writing my blog posts, which, I’ll be honest, was mostly for me to get thoughts straight in my head, I didn’t plan on getting to a particular word count but when you’re consistent, incredible things do happen.

Celebrate wins, big and small, and realise you can achieve great things when you believe you can and you do them to be the person that walks the walk rather than just talk the talk.

Most social media is pontificating, expressing opinions but not really providing solutions and strategies to make life better.

Once you realise you can be consistent and produce great results in one area, the skills to do so are transferrable to other pursuits…

Making money

Eating better

Getting fitter

Improving relationships

Discarding negativity

Wake up, get up, move up. Believe you can and do it.

And for goodness sake, stop blaming people for things they have no control over.

Take nepotism. There’s an English singer called Sophie Ellis-Bexter, I really enjoy listening to her music, she’s evolved over the years. She is the daughter of a famous TV presenter of the past, Janet Ellis (one of the hosts of Blue Peter – a big TV programme in the UK).

Now, people try to mask their jealously by using deflection tactics saying “Oh, Sophie’s not talented, she’s just got a famous mum.” I worked with someone who was incredibly critical of Sophie. Let’s call this person Agnes (I won’t say her real name). Agnes insisted that Sophie couldn’t sing. Truthfully, Agnes was morbidly obese and alleges she was turned down for the lead role in Hairspray when it was playing in the West End.

Maybe there’s true in the whole nepotism thing but even if you are resentful of other peoples’ success regardless of the reason, how is it improving your life?

Really!

The world is going to world.

People are going to people.

Outcomes of others will outcome.

And they will do it irrespective of you. It’s just a fact, live with it

Make your own life better.

Do stuff today and every day that makes you freer and more valuable.

Get healthy.

Smile and laugh more.

Do good shit, accept the wins and the losses.

You’re a hypocrite, you’ll hear.

You’re bigoted, you’ll hear.

You’re racist, you’ll hear.

No one likes you, you’ll hear.

Life throws shit at you to see what sticks. 

Always remember, when people say things, a) they are probably talking about themselves and b) they might be true or false.

You are never going to please everybody and nor should you.

Principles will divide people. Boundaries, by their very nature, will divide people. You get to choose how to live your life, you get to choose who you do and don’t spend time with.

Each one of us has great and terrible traits within us.

At first, accept where you are.

At first, accept what’ve you done.

At first, accept you can’t change the past.

Most of the time you waste is wishing things could be different. They can’t, they won’t, accept it.

And stop striving all the time for perfection. Abandon it.

Take steps, do it daily, do things that make you feel good about yourself, that make you accomplished, build consistency and, guess what……

Life gets better.

Of course now we have new technologies. Everything moves on. Nothing is static, we’re always moving (either forward or behind).

Many years ago, I went to Poland do a series of incredibly transformational entrepreneurial seminars and one of my teachers said something that always stuck with me.

“Where is the greatest concentration of genius?”

Any ideas? No? Graveyards.

We each in us have something to offer.

That’s why I blog. It helps me make sense of things but, who knows, it could also be useful to one person, to a few, to many?!

We doubt the importance of what we have to share. It’s why I like to learn from successful people too. My boyfriend is very successful to me. Solid work ethic, wise, calm, generous, very impressive and imposing. DECISIVE!

There are other teachers too. The one who made the quote above has had a profound effect on me. Like my boyfriend, he defined his boundaries and embodied them.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you should or shouldn’t share what you’ve learned in life – do!

There is no perfect system. There, I said it.

Capitalism is by far and away the best we have come up with, everything else ends in starvation and genocide. So when you encounter leftists who say that Capitalism is unjust just assume they want to steal more from you and give it to unproductive people.

Here’s the rub. Everyone wants a perfect system to sort out all their problems and make their lives easier.

Dream on.

Whatever you do that’s meaningful, you’re going to encounter challenges, irritations, struggles. You have to learn to breathe and communicate through them.

There is never going to be a system that eliminates work, learning and hardship. 

Adopt the mentality that personality responsibility and accomplishment are the rewards for your efforts.

Find people who support you and are able to educate you when you dive into action.

People get into such a whizz about things they enjoy and don’t enjoy.

We feel bad for liking particular things, we judge ourselves for thinking we should and shouldn’t do things.

I had a mental shift when I heard (can’t remember who) saying stop focusing on improving your weaknesses and start investing in your strengths.

Every single one of us is unique.

We each of us has a unique combination of likes, dislikes, tastes and preferences. All good.

Am I talking about penchants for violence or for drugs, or for alcohol? No, obviously not. I’m talking about those things that you did from when you were a child an start you still enjoy today.

Art

Music

Sports

Walking

Photography

Etc. Etc. You get the idea.

Stop trying to mould yourself into something you’re not. There are things that are just irritating and sometimes you have to deal with them. Make the focus what you love, get stronger at the things you enjoy and the rest of life sorts itself out.

You literally have the world at your fingertips!

In so many videos, you’ll see people asking stupid questions – what piece of music is this? There’s an app for that. Where was this video shot – they don’t look in the description.

People want stuff done for them, that’s why governments/the state expand. We appear to have lost the ability to think and act independently. Am I allowed to do that, you’ll hear.

Success comes with action.

Success comes with confidence.

Do something brave today.

Do you feel good when you’re angry?

If you answered yes, you’re deluding yourself.

Notice what makes ‘news’. War. War, fighting, aggression, it’s the main thing I disagree with Andrew Tate on, who says to have pain for breakfast.

Neh, not getting on board with that. Have gratitude for breakfast, it makes you more present.

The truth is, when you’re fighting, who or what are you fighting against? Reality usually.

I am not a hippie-type saying make love not war but I am saying that there is a difference between competition and aggression. Everyone losses with the latter and everyone benefits from the former. Competition means the most gifted rise to the top and create benefits for all (innovation, employment, wealth, freedom, etc.) whereas aggression means the tyrannical rise to the top (destruction, death, poverty, imprisonment).

Last night, my boyfriend surprise visited me by driving over to my neighbourhood after he had a work do. Magical! Would I have enjoyed it if I were stressed or angry or ungrateful? No. I would not have.

In being peaceful, I could appreciate him, I could listen to him, I could go with the flow and have, as we both did, a sweet, tender and happy time.

We know that war never works in the end.

The choice is yours.

Is it just me or have you noticed that people seem to have lost the ability to ‘human’? You know, to get stuff done, to be efficient, to make sense.

No one can spell anymore.

They don’t know how to walk around.

People mistake roads for pavements.

Come on people, how’s about some cooperation here?!

I’ll be brutally honest, one of the reasons I’m leaving London is because people are so weird here now. We went from slick and stylish twenty years ago to fat and ignorant today.

Bring back colourful.

Bring back respectful.

Everything’s so loud.

Of course I’m moving, positively, for beautiful countryside, the ability to grow my own food, to be around normal people.

Learn to listen.

Learn to make connections.

Learn to get things done!

Being stoical is a bitch!

Are you one of those people who live with millions of regrets? Wishing you could you change the past? Fuck that shit!

We’ve all done stuff that, in hindsight, we might not repeat again.

We’ve also wished to have been a different person in the past.

Again, fuck that.

Life is a series of lessons and adaptations – and many of them.

Yes, we try to rewrite history or try to rewind our minds but obviously it’s a waste of time.

The only way to banish regret is to accept that who you were at the time of any decision was based entirely and only on what you knew then and the experience you were used to. That’s it.

You didn’t know then what you know now because you hadn’t been through it yet. 

YES OR YES?????

And there’s a lesson in everything, there is. If you want to find it of course. Here’s a kicker – a lot of people don’t. Much easier to blame someone or something else than tale the responsibility.

Regret makes you a victim.

Regret makes you childish.

Regret stunts your growth.

Let go.

Accept what’s happened, it’s a part of you and who you are. You’ll never erase it.

Grow up, find the positives and discard what doesn’t serve you.

Be a man and

FRANKLY!

Admit that you secretly enjoyed the ride!

Nor is life easy.

However, you can find people you feel safe with.

I’m not here to tell you how to do that other than being open to the possibility.

There are things that terrify, frustrate and irritate us. It’s simply going to happen. I certainly believe in reaching the light at the other end of the tunnel.

All you can do is try to find solutions. Look for answers, trust yourself and when you can support others do it.

Yep, I had that day yesterday. Fucking horrible!

Everything was just low-level annoying. Text messages I received, relationship dynamics, people fretting and panicking.

Ugh!

I’m very hard on myself. 

It used to be in a perfectionistic way now it’s trying to solve everything at once.

Can’t be done.

I’ve decided that, no matter what, I am going to have a fantastic day today. I am going to enjoy the day, I am going to pepper my life with happiness and smiling and good things.

Yes. We like the sound of that.

If you’re feeling irritated the likelihood is you don’t feel like standing up for yourself today. You feel you have to fall in with other people. You feel like you don’t get to choose for yourself.

Drop that please.

I have said it before and I’ll say it again, it is your life and you deserve to feel accomplished every day. Decide for yourself and get on with it.

You will have a great day today. I know it!

Love is not forever doing cartwheels.

Love is learning to say no.

Love is connection.

Love is peaceful.

Love can be lonely.

Love is living in reality.

Love is the difference between right and wrong.

Love is protecting the ones you love and looking out for them.

I was going to wait until I had hit a certain number of words that I’d written blogging but I’m going to do it now.

I am just shy of 230,000 words and here are a few things I’ve learned.

You are more capable than you realise.

Patience truly is a virtue.

Most metrics are actually meaningless.

Do things for the sake of simply doing them.

Writers think they have nothing to write about. It’s not true. There are thoughts perpetually going through your head, it’s worth making sense and order of them.

The amount of time it takes to get something done is far less important than immersing yourself in just doing it.

People quote stats that, let’s face it, are impossible to prove to manipulate you and make you believe that life is different or more complicated than it really is.

Do the things you enjoy, be focused in them, and good things will happen.

I am not of the school to focus on your weaknesses. There are things you are drawn to and investing your time and energy in them is why you are on this planet.

Start living life more peacefully and more joyfully.

Really, there have never been excuses but especially now, you honestly can’t say there aren’t opportunities for you to better yourself.

Feel down in the dumps, that’s your problem.

Feel lost? That’s your problem.

Feel useless, yep, that’s your problem too.

There are people that have done stuff that can help you do great stuff too.

There’s this amazing thing called the Internet.

Feel afraid? Fine, never let it stop you.

Get out there, my son.

“Are you doing something with chickens?”

A lady I chat with at my local supermarket asked me this yesterday. I had three chickens in my trolley as I decided to buy some and put them in the freeze – I have roast chicken every Sunday, I’m English like that.

Observe, when most people ask questions, they are not interested in the answer.

Huh, Martin? Vot do you meeeean?

People don’t want to be left out, so what do they do, they ask silly questions to be included. They can’t let you have one over on them. 

Especially in cities now, there is no privacy. People interfere, they are rude, they are overly nosy, they lack true curiosity.

Learn to establish what matters.

Oh, and leave me the fuck alone.

Have you noticed people demanding/expecting/feeling entitled to have their life choices accepted? It’s a sorry state of affairs when grown adults (at least in age) still need to be validated by not just one but all.

“I’m trans and you will accept me.” Uhm, no. Real adults respond to requests, not orders.

I’ve had many people, some incredibly close to me, demanding that I do what they say and for a long time I did. Not anymore. I’ve had them tell me that I MUST listen to them. Again, no. Respect is not automatically granted, it is earned.

Do you acquiesce to peoples’ demands ahead of your own boundaries? Understand, I ask this at the same time as knowing that saying no is difficult for most.

You have to establish what is your business and when to tell other people, in the politest possible way, to go fuck themselves. I can’t remember who said this but I heard recently that a famous person’s biggest unfulfilled wish was to tell people to fuck off more.

Quite right.

A couple of nights ago, I dreamt of telling a relatively close family member to do one.

If you’re going to achieve anything, you’re gonna have to develop a backbone. You’re not limpid, you’re human and you have a human heritage stretching back however many thousands or millions of years.

Do stuff today, and every day, that’d make your ancestors proud.

Yep folks, last night I was screaming. In my dream.

I told a very close family member to fuck off.

I was invaded at my dining table by a mad woman screaming.

I was walking around barefoot on wet cobbles.

Eye-opening dream.

Let’s face it, every one, inside, is screaming.

Are you too thinking “what the fuck is going on?”

Why can’t people ‘human’ anymore?

Simple stuff, made frustrating.

And the truth, it’s why I’m leaving the open asylum that London has become. Everything is surface, no one can communicate properly anymore. There’s a malaise in people that’s preventing them from getting serious stuff done and being able to see what’s actually going on.

We’re being squeezed.

Slowly being banned from our cars.

Travelling around is becoming more and more difficult.

People aren’t able to understand nuanced and familiar language.

Stop the screaming, let’s find the freedom!

We use words but often don’t know the true meaning.

Simple = stop overcomplicating things, take the most direct route.

Straightforward = well, what are you doing? You’re moving onwards. In other words, you’re taking action.

Nothing will get itself done.

The key to simplicity is confidence. Nothing is perfect and you will stumble, it doesn’t matter, it’s only an issue if you care about what people think.

Wake up, get up, keep on keeping on.

I was walking past St. James’s Palace yesterday. It’s one of the oldest Royal residences in England. An entrance was formed by a very solid door on the outer most section of protective wall. Do you think just anyone is allowed to use said entrance? Hmmmmm!

Now, my title is a little misleading, I’ll admit.

What do you observe when you visit such special places? They are protected to the gills by walls and security guards and cameras. They are impenetrable. 

What do you also observe? Well, you observe that all the people living behind these walls and in gated communities tell you that we need to bring borders DOWN not put them up.

My boyfriend and I recently visited a very beautiful castle complex in Sussex called Arundel Castle. It’s owned by one of the most illustrious aristocratic families in the country – The Dukes of Norfolk. We were constantly reminded, during our trip, of which areas were open and which were private. In the Castle Keep (many, many centuries old), we were constantly reminded of the portcullis.

BRING UP THE DRAWBRIDGE!

What is the point of what I’m saying?

You have the right to privacy.

You have the right to share and NOT share what you wish.

Learn to establish your Yeses and Nos and learn to say No a lot more.

You are allowed to close doors to principles you don’t agree with.

You are allowed to be friends with who you wish.

As my boyfriend says, earn your ground.

………And they are many.

You’ll have encountered it.

The right way to exercise.

The right way to eat.

The right way to vote.

The right way to do the washing up.

The right way to speak.

Everything scrutinised.

I saw a clip on YouTube the other day about the right way to drink water. For fuck’s sake, just leave us alone.

Observe, all the people proffering the advice. 

Do they look happy?

Do they look at peace?

Are they understanding or judgemental?

How well do their lives turn out? Really!

I’ve seen it over and over again. They pontificate, they tell you you’re doing things incorrectly. They all die of heart attacks in their 50s and 60s, they end up alone or doing the podcast circuit. It’s so incestuous.

When you free yourself of the latest trends, fads and fashions, you can go back to normal and more importantly…….

Listening to your own body.

One diet does not fit all.

People are different.

You are unique.

Thrust not what others should do for themselves.

Share your experience in whatever way you like and you will help some people help themselves.

Simple.

The universe has a rhythm, a pace. 

Guess what though? Don’t rest on your laurels.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, getting stuff done is the only thing that makes a difference. And there’s plenty of stuff to do that’s nerve racking. Truly.

Ask yourself this question, who do I want to be?

Do you want to be the person that shirks your responsibilities?

Do you want to be the person that squanders your potential?

Do you want to be where you are now in five or ten years time?

No.

You’ve heard this before as well, do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Build strong associations of success, of getting things done, of being in the right frame of mind by acknowledging your accomplishments.

Yes, it can be scary but scary is good. Scary means you’re growing and guess what growing means – getting stronger, being more productive, feeling genuinely good about yourself, solid.

Decide the one major thing you need to get done today and do it.

How hard are you on yourself?

Do you waste time wishing that things could be so different?

Are you grateful for the things that have happened to you?

I know a lot of people talk a great talk about wanting to improve their lives but starkly few actually do anything.

I have just spent two glorious days away from London with my man (a taste of things to come as I prepare to leave London for good).

You cannot change the past.

You can learn the lessons to act better from here on in.

The choice is yours.

Dear Lord in Heaven above (I’m moving back Up North soon, so say above with a u not an o).

When did we become so doubtful, so untrusting?

My life has got so much better by simply getting on with stuff. Packing up my flat to move out makes me realise, I’ll find everything when I get to my new home, it doesn’t really matter what goes in which bag.

I’ve always described the people I’ve known as “killing it with questions.”

What’s happening there?

Why you doing it like this?

What do you think will happen with that?

I don’t know and it’s great. That means it’s an adventure.

Human beings? Neh, let’s start being Human DOINGS! 

In two days time, I hand over the keys of the apartment I’ve lived in for almost 22 years! 

I’ve been thinking of moving for years and years, long before the lockdowns.

Life is not a journey to figure out everything outside of you, it’s about finding out what your niche in life is.

The path can be treacherous, confusing, disorientating but it can also be exciting, challenging and fulfilling. It’s up to you how you walk it.

Don’t second guess what really motivates you. Trust your instincts, make decisions that enrich you, make you stronger and more free-flowing.

This world is meant to be enjoyed, to be explored and to help you be the most authentic version of yourself.

Dream big, shiny, golden dreams and bring them to life. That’s what you were born for.

We’re so fucking conditioned!

So desperate are we to know the answers to everything, immediately if not sooner – we ignore the evidence of our senses and even our better intuition.

Saying I don’t know is seen as such a bad thing.

Why don’t you know? Are you stupid?

In the face of conflicting evidence, never trust anyone who blindly says they have the answers to life’s most complicated questions.

To assume is to make an ass of you and me. I definitely believe that things come at the right time, I also believe in learning yourself out of destructive behaviour. Don’t make the same blunders over and over. That really does make you stupid.

When you say I don’t know, you leave space for the right answers to flood in and cast necessary light on any situation.

Confidence means with faith. Have faith.

What are you really afraid of?

Looking stupid?

Doing things messily?

Not having all the answers?

Yeah, fuck that shit.

Take the penis, it’s marvellous. It hangs out, it makes people, going to the toilet is really easy. Instantly accessible. Fun to play with.

STOP trying to get things ‘right’ all the time.

START getting things done.

The idea we can predict the future and know exactly how life will turn out is delusional, controlling and pointless.

Let the spirit guide you!

AND make sure it’s your thing!

People want stuff out of you. We all have an enormous capacity to control how things turn out and, make no mistake, that applies to the people around you.

No two people will ever, in principle, agree on absolutely everything. Communication is key. Being confident is key.

I’ve grown up feeling bad about expressing what I really want. It still makes me feel rather guilty shutting down some of the stuff that people say but it’s essential.

You can’t please all the people all the time and saying no is crucial to getting your own things done.

As you do it more, it’s likely you will experience more hostility from other people. 

They don’t understand exactly what it is that you want, nor do you of them. It’s just the way it is. I’ve experienced a lot of pushback when I’ve been honest with people and often, it’s taken far more than a couple of times refusing to budge on particular issues. It can be incredibly tiresome but do it anyway.

I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve said to myself and others “it’s my life.” Have you found the same? You have to learn when it’s time and where it’s necessary to build walls. You’re simply protecting yourself from undue influence, don’t feel bad, feel empowered.

It’s only when you’ve learnt to ‘earn your ground’ as my boyfriend wisely says, that you can take the necessary steps to achieve your ambitions, one step at a step, in the way and with the pace that you want.

Once again, always remember it’s your life.

Being a people-pleaser makes you weak. We all know it, we feel it.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with finding out how different people do things, there will be stuff to learn but, ultimately, it’s down to you to understand your unique skills and approach to life to be your own person.

Trust the gut, they say. There is no right or wrong way, there is only your way. We are individuals.

Learn to trust yourself.

Gratitude is important, most definitely. Acknowledging the great things in your life will make you a more satisfied and present person.

There’s something, though, that most people miss.

Listening.

Yesterday, my man and I visited a different area of London and had a massive dessert splurge of sweet treats from his native land. Delish! We’re cramming in lots of things in London before I leave for the magical countryside of Northern England.

In the past, I’ve tried to impose my will way too much. It made my life very narrow. If you’re going to have any kind of relationship, you have to be able and willing to listen. You’re not going to understand absolutely everything necessarily but’s not about that.

If someone is important to you, they have to feel acknowledged as well, otherwise what’s the point?

Every single person that has ever existed wants to feel listened to and finding people you can do that with can be very, very difficult, can’t lie.

Magic comes when you open yourself to being challenged, to accepting that you might at times be wrong and having the openness to trying things you would sometimes dismiss off the bat.

Give it a go!

You know it.

And I know it.

Everyone in the whole world knows it…

No one is coming to save you.

You can seek advice.

You can seek encouragement.

You can seek the necessary confidence.

But only you can make a difference in your life.

If you want to rearrange your room so it’s more conducive to work, do it.

If you want to have the transformational, uncomfortable conversations, do that too.

If you want to change your results, change your behaviour, get on with it!

I wish I could tell you it’s easy but I’d be lying.

Can I tell you it’s worth it? Abso-fucking-lutely it is.

Yes, YOU!

Not what your family wants.

Not what your friends want.

Not what your colleagues want.

Not what you believe the world wants.

What does YOUR best life look like?

Breaking the Control Matrix of what you believe others want for you is the single best way to free yourself.

Your prison is what you believe are other peoples’ demands.

The beauty of Western Civilisation is it focuses on individuals.

If you’re not hurting other people, what is wrong with you living your best life?

WHY, my friend, are you hurting yourself? 

I’ve got a bookmarked YouTube video, it’s called “how I stopped being broke.”

I am intrigued to watch but note this – learn to switch your thinking by starting to use affirmative language.

Instead of “stopped being broke.” we use “started being wealthy.”

Thoughts create feelings and feelings create actions. Actions produce results.

This works both ways – your language makes you either passive and weak or active and strong.

Start to value yourself.

Acknowledge wins.

Accept defeats.

What has passed has passed.

What’s been done cannot be undone.

You’ve experienced and achieved more than you think.

It’s incredibly easy to get bogged down in the mire. Trying to figure out everything single reason why things have happened. Make no mistake, you don’t want to be repeating the same destructive behaviour over and over again but trying to divine what other people have done, why you settled for certain scenarios, ultimately gets you no where.

Are you relentlessly chasing shadows?

Do you feel regretful or angry for things you can’t change?

Are you living life resentfully?

Wouldn’t you rather live life abundantly and peacefully.

The truth is, I am leaving London for serenity, to be around normal people. I could berate myself for not making the decision earlier. Instead, I am imagining my new life and the things I will achieve for being in a setting that really suits me.

There are more options available to you than you think 

AND

If you’ve been on the planet for any length of time, you’ve accomplished things you can be grateful for. Right now!

Let the past go. It’s dead and that version of you can die with it.

Be the confident man you were born to be.

Tempus fugit.

Time flies.

The world keeps on turning (though not according to flat earthers)

Each day, get one thing done that will make you a…

Better man

More active man

More competent man

Man that people will look up to.

You do not have to be perfect.

Let me repeat that.

You do not have to be perfect.

Simply keep moving.

Stress is the enemy of success.

You know, and I know, that there are unique gifts we both have that need to be developed.

It’s all very well talking about fulfilling your potential but it doesn’t mean anything unless you invest your energies in the things you love and that will help you develop transferrable skills, as well as resilience, in other areas.

I’ve talked about Minimum Effective Dose – what do you need to be doing on a daily basis to help you improve?

I will admit, I set a list a short while ago of things to do daily but I have fallen short of that but we don’t strive for perfection do we! We strive for progress. 

Whether it takes you 1, 2, 5 or 10 years to accomplish something, everything has its pace and, as we both know by now, the journey is just as important as the destination (I don’t believe in one being better than the other). 

Accomplishment and satisfaction come from completing things and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I am lucky to have someone in my life who recognises my abilities and encourages (not pressurises) me to do and be my best. He wouldn’t do it if I was not capable.

Hopefully you have such a person around you but if you don’t, start to imagine what you’re life would look like if you committed to your development and start taking SMALL steps to your goal(s).

It’s all within you.

Have a fabulous weekend.

So obsessed are we with trying to get things right.

So perfectionistic.

Wasting time trying to control everything.

What is is. Simple, can’t fight reality.

What are you doing today?

What risks are you taking, small or large?

Are you confident?

Are you scared?

Yep, my friend, get it done.

You think that everyone lives on the same planet.

We really don’t.

London has become a crazy place to live because in the same few square feet of pavement, you have practically every culture ‘doing their thing’ in the same place.

I am doing my level best in my last few weeks here, weaving and winding my way through the people.

I am reminded of the line early on in Titanic. “There’s truth but no logic.”

At least there is no coherent sense of logic. People walk on the left, on the right, single file, side by side taking over the whole pavement. It’s a mess.

Obviously, there are political reasons for all of this. I am choosing to free myself, get back to the countryside amongst normal people. I yearn for the true greenery that makes England a uniquely beautiful place – no one does greenery like England – it is grand and majestic yet dignified and ‘cute’.

Do I get angry at times at what has happened to London, singularly the best city that has ever existed? Yes, occasionally, but no way near as much as I used to. 

The question is this – when you’re complaining about the way things are, what are you actually doing about it? Many think just talking about these things will make a difference. Nope. I went on the lockdown/jab marches and I felt better about myself and the world but it didn’t actually do anything.

Resisting the tyranny doesn’t really work either.

Mankind attempts to figure out ways of doing things, we are a tool oriented species after all and the best system yet is Capitalism. Is any system corruptible, yes, obviously but the quest for perfectionism also gets you nowhere.

I write my blog.

I do my videos.

I visit stately homes that I love.

Spend quality time with my boyfriend.

I am redeveloping the habit of playing my piano and singing again.

When each individual does their best I believe that has an effect. People will respond positively to you when you’re living in flow with nature and that will cast ripples in the ether.

Honest truth: We’re all figuring it out as we go.

Nothing replaces getting out there and getting stuff done.

On Tuesday night, I really didn’t feel well. Life throws stuff at you to see what sticks.

I’ve said everything is a choice.

That means to have a great life you have to make decisions. Decide, like any word that ends in ‘cide’ – that means death.

Kill off doubt.

Kill off indecision.

Kill off perfection and procrastination.

Imagine what you’d miss if you let lesser or darker thoughts corrupt your soul.

Get out and do, only way!

…It is beautiful though.

When you’re a truth-seeker, you’re going to encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. Inevitable.

I find it so hilarious when watching my favourite podcasters and seeing such comments as,

“This guy is a joke, you’re so gullible for getting him on.”

“Boring.”

“12 minutes in, am I staying? Erm…..no.”

An intrinsic part of beauty is humility. Yes, you read that correctly.

In order to appreciate beauty, you have to understand that there is something greater than you. Despair is the last refuge of the ego. You cannot see beauty when you are in despair. You cannot see beauty when you are angry.

Shit happens. It’s difficult sometimes to stay positive, to find the positive. We are all subjects of our physicality but there is a higher plain to dwell on and that is peace – that is love.

Be motivated by love and great things happen. Embrace the mess and make beauty of it.

And it’s passing all the time.

I am not a regretful person but I’ve allowed myself to fall prey to certain kinds of indoctrination that, when you really look at them, do not help. 

Regret is pointless – you can’t change the past.

Learning from bad behaviour – that’s where the treasure lies!

Piece of advice (it’s not an advice people!) – start saying No more. 

Other people will behave the way they do, inevitable. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with it or go along with it. Define boundaries.

Therapy, yes or no? I’d say mostly no. I’m really starting to understand how self-indulgent and laborious therapy is, it keeps you trapped. Whenever I hear someone has been in therapy for years, I think that person is simply too scared to get out into the real world and get the fuck on with things.

More and more people seem to be looking for an externalised source of ‘permission’ to live their lives. Are you one of them? The truth is, 99% of the time you know what you think/feel, you know what to do about it but you need some reassurance – give yourself permission, stand up for yourself. 

Any amount of therapy will just give you answers for things you can’t it.

Again, time’s passing.

Do you want to think about your life or do you want to live it?

Why live in resentment of other peoples’ success, go out and do something – make a contribution, no matter how big or small.

How?

I will say it again, do the things you love. Just allow yourself to enjoy what you do as much as you can and, believe me, you’ll fall into your natural groove, you’ll gain confidence, you’ll give less of a fuck and you’ll leave room for the blessings the Universe has in store for You.

Reality flipped?

Life inverted?

Confused?

Yep, bienvenue et/und wilkommen to the modern world.

I see people all the time, aimlessly wandering around, looking bemused, frozen in time. Peoples’ heads are full. You can see it in real time.

You can feel doomed in the cultural malaise or you can do something.

My boyfriend and I leave London in his car every week to go and visit fantastic stately homes, we wander through the fields, we have delicious lunches by lakes and streams. 

Don’t allow yourself to be drawn in by it. When it is surrounding you, it is hard not to notice but do not add to the stress questioning ‘why’ has this happened? You’ll never know and even if you did, would it make a difference to your happiness? No, it would not.

You have a choice about what you focus on.

You also have a reasonable choice of how things turn out.

I know people, you know people who go into things to lose.

Observe how people set themselves up, listen to what they say.

“Oh no, we can’t.”

“Don’t be silly, that won’t work.”

“I won’t do that.”

Failure. Passive.

AFRAID!

I used to try to live life ultra-morally. Honestly.

I strove for perfection. I want absolutely everything to be ‘right’ not just from myself but from everyone else as well – good luck with that!

In everything you do, you have to at least attempt to see what the outcome of your behaviour will be. 

Will it be…

More peace?

More harmony?

Discord?

Anger?

Understanding?

Happiness?

Connection?

I could go on, you get the idea.

The totalitarian instinct is in us all. Make no mistake.

People fantasise about ruling the world. What would you do as Prime Minster? How would you behave as President? Of course, I could be the benevolent dictator.

Neh, you’d be dead in a week from a shot to the head if you implemented everything you wanted. Don’t worry, it’s fucking tempting and we’ve all done it but leave it as fantasy.

What’s the result? What would happen if you simply accepted that you can only control yourself and you acted accordingly in the real world.

AND!

Of all the stuff you believe matters, how important is it really?

Choose what matters.

I have a twitter account that I dip in and out of. What do I see, regardless of who it is I’m following or what I’m recommended?

Anger, anger, anger.

Disgust, disgust, disgust.

Unwillingness, unwillingness, unwillingness.

What you put out you get back. It’s no wonder that people are so burnout. 

I keep coming back to the same point. Where’s the fun? Where’s the lightness?

WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY DOING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE OTHER THAN TALKING ABOUT IT? What is the result of what you believe you’re doing?

When I write what I write, I always try and put in at least one solution – something you can actually do.

Get grateful – absolutely.

Make some money and buy some land – there are no excuses now to not making money.

Do the things you love to focus you in on clearing your mind of shit beliefs that hold you back.

Go to the gym.

Go running.

Have a dance.

Bake something for someone you love.

You know what you enjoy doing, do it and see what the result is. You’ll have the presence of mind to figure out what you can do for the stuff that really matters.

Don’t like the city? Move.

Decide who your friends are and invest time in them.

Yes, people get violent and stage revolutions but, AGAIN, what is the result? Do they ever actually create something positive and uplifting? No, they don’t. It’s hard to accept, really hard to accept but what’s worse? Bloodshed or being a beacon of hope and action?

The answer’s obvious isn’t it. Choose to be the lover not the fighter.

What are you afraid of?

Spiders?

Loneliness?

Peoples’ disapproval?

A sorry life is this!

I see it every day, people are controlled by fear. Wealthy people, with everything in the world are still coercible. 

Gratitude is a great example of this. From what I can see, people are frightened of saying – “That is enough.”, “I am happy with what I have.”

Why?

They believe that it cuts them off from further and greater opportunity and abundance. 

Wrong!

You cannot be stingy and abundant at the same time.

Just like you can’t be anger and happy at the same time.

Appreciation is the ultimate superpower – there I said it. If you’re constantly dissatisfied with what you have, there is no room for great and glorious things. Like I share yesterday, the reason I have a fantastic time with my boyfriend is because we are relaxed, we are in free-flow. We go where the wind and our feet take us.

Doing it this way, we cram way more into the day than people who have a ‘perfect plan’.

We decide where we’re headed to, we drive there and we let the rest unfurl. Decisive yet open!

Don’t cut yourself off from gorgeous things.

I scroll through Twitter. People wonder why they’re so stressed all the time. They’re sharing stuff they have no intention of doing anything about at all.

I am certainly on the side of truth and righteousness and what’s happened over the last three years has woken a lot of people up to the realities of governments and institutions and that’s positive but Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you have to get out and enjoy yourself as well. One pursuit does not have to preclude the other.

Leisure is what will reset you for the challenges that you face. A life lived solely in anger and stress never, ever ends well.

Be a lover, not a fighter. The latter only gets enemies, the former gets friends and allies.

I had an absolutely beautiful day with my man yesterday and it involved everything in the title of this post! All of it outdoors (with the exception of the delicious house we wandered around).

Free-flowing, living every human’s birthright – Freedom.

Guess what I observe, though, in most people? They don’t want freedom, it carries too much responsibility.

You can’t truly be free and reckless at the same time. I know that as I become freer, I also temper my mood, I am less reactive, I am more confident and definitely more decisive. I blame no one for my life.

I wonder how free anyone in history has actually been. You will start to notice that for every period of history, we only talk about a handful of people and most of them are men. I’m simply reporting facts.

Just like the title of this post is all Ss, here’s another one – simplicity. Make things as simple as possible. There’s a security I find with my boyfriend because we’re in tune with each other, we’re in tune with nature and we understand each other. It’s very satisfying.

It’s about appreciation, you see – learning to be grateful for what you have so that more blessings can flow to you. 

Do you ever find yourself worrying that if you’re grateful for what you have, then you’ll cut off more opportunity. No, God doesn’t work that way. God (the universe, whatever) delivers to those who wonder in the abundance and plenty of things and you will be rewarded.

Rewarded with great sex and connection.

Rewarded with serenity and contentment.

Rewarded with fabulous sightseeing trips or holidays or wonderful meals.

I’m going to say it again.

Get grateful. It will open up your world in every way.

The more you do the things you love, the easier life becomes.

The more you do the things that feed your soul, the easier it becomes to find solutions to your challenges.

The truth is, the world is very simple.

We make it complicated.

Do the things you’ve always wanted to do, simply make a start. You don’t have to be brilliant straightaway but the sooner you begin, the sooner your life improves!

These things are sent to try us. It’s a phrase you’ll have heard if you’re of a certain age.

Decide when to stand up for yourself.

Decide when to walk away.

I am leaving London because it’s become so crazy, I’m not a city-person anyway. I love the openness and peacefulness of the countryside and I know it will help me to settle into my next phase of life.

What decision are you shunning at the moment?

What major choice can you make that will improve your life right now?

You will encounter selfish morons.

You will encounter ignorant people.

You will encounter incredibly kind folk.

You will encounter those who transform your life.

It’s up to you what you focus on and, naturally, it’s up to you what actions you choose to take.

Everything comes to you to test if you’re an uplifting and generous person. Make the good choices today and every day, otherwise you’re only hurting yourself.

I’ve just paused a YouTube video to write this blog post. 

I have lots of stuff to write about but this took the biscuit. The paused video is about incidents at Canadian airports, including a man getting chomped to death by a luggage carousel.

Yes, a luggage carousel he was attempting to dislodge a suitcase from!

The world has indeed gone mad folks. I see it every single day. I am training myself to be ultra-patient while I live out my last days in London before moving back to my native Derbyshire.

I believe we’ve been bombarded with too much info and deliberately dumbed-down by fat, blue-haired, Marxist-Feminist . 

Social media is making most speak terrible, lazy English.

Americans seem to make up words like ‘conversate’ and aluminum rather than converse and aluminium (yes, look at the periodic table of elements!)

But you know what, let it wash over you as much as you can.

People constantly block pavements in London, learn to weave and wind your way around – be the person that can!

There’s a time and a place for rules, do your very best!

I’m fascinated by life, can’t lie. I’m incredibly curious and inquisitive.

BUT!

I’ve spent a lot of time concerning myself with things I can’t control. I don’t regret it, there are lessons in everything but your life is a choice between that which you can and that which you have no influence over.

What do you love doing? Seriously. What really gets your juices flowing?

Do those things every day. Make sure you do to them to keep up your spirits.

And you don’t have to do a massive amount. Decide an achievable amount of how much you do these things on a daily basis and learn to feel satisfaction about doing what you’ll say you do. If you do more, great but be a man of your word and, in not that much time, you’ll feel not only satisfaction but accomplishment.

Start today.

Every evening, my boyfriend and I chat over FaceTime. It’s lovely.

We share nice bits of news.

We share challenges and support each other – and we look for solutions to our issues.

We joke.

We laugh.

Less so now, I cry.

But last night, I had the extra special surprise of another call just before bed time. 

My man said he missed me and I confessed, for another time, that I always missed him when we weren’t together.

It’s these sweet, little moments that connect and uplift all the other major events.

Learn to appreciate your loved ones, it will work miracles in your life.

Goodness, I had two very intense dreams last night.

After a very transformational but emotionally brutal conversation with my boyfriend about how difficult I have found it to be confident and be myself, it’s not surprising that one of the dreams was running away from a mother like figure and literally rappelling down a vast ship on chains and the other where the police were investigating my apartment, you’ll get an idea of how I’ve felt un-personified in my life.

Why? Why what? Well!

Why do we still rally around for peoples’ approval? – that’s one thing.

Why do we not stand up for ourselves? Usually because the outcomes have been either very stressful or potentially threatening, that’s another!

Why do we refuse to accept reality? – that’s a big one!

There are times in life you simply have to do the uncomfortable stuff. And it is uncomfortable BUT far better than being stunted in your own growth and development.

I am leaving London after over 20 years, it’s been a rollercoaster, there have been many highs and lows but the move is really for me. Cities are crazy now, no getting away from it and I am a country person, most definitely.

The crazy thing is, I’ve always known this and so have those closest to me but still I have stayed here and ‘tried to make it work’ – don’t do this.

“To thine ownself be true.” Not delusional, not angry, truthful. It’s not easy when first you try.

But here’s a big why – why are you being a smaller version of yourself? The answers to this will change your life for the better, if you act on them.

My boyfriend read me the translation of a poem in his native Portuguese and it said this, 

“Everything is worth it when the soul is not too small.” – meaning? Big shiny dreams, you can be stronger and more decisive than you give yourself credit for, you can face adversity and come out the other end of the tunnel.

So, I conclude. Forget ‘why’ and simply ask ‘why the fuck not!’

You can’t swing a cat now without being bombarded by fucking politics.

Being gay is a political persuasion.

Biology is a matter of politics.

Immigration and how many houses we will inevitably need is policy.

When life begins is a political opinion.

Remember the days when things were just simpler?

And stats, percentages, surveys, ‘official’ data from Alphabet agencies. Holy Mother of God. Endless numbers and figures and graphs and ‘scientific’ models – more like Sci-Fi projections.

Ask yourself this question.

When you hear about polls and surveys and stats, were you and your family surveyed? How about your friends and colleagues, your neighbours too? Were they surveyed? Nope, they weren’t.

Whenever anyone says it’s politics, they want to manipulate you.

Wear this mask to protect granny.

Take these 20 state injectables so you can do your grocery shopping.

Deal with more people and pavements with stupid Flower boxes to save the planet.

Are people happier or angrier than before? If you don’t know the answer, you must have been living under a rock for the last decade.

Are people cleverer or stupider? You know the answer.

You don’t need stats and percentages or polls and surveys to understand the world. You simply need to observe the world, we know the answers instinctively and many of us have the practical sense to recognise bullshit when we see it.

Men and Women have different roles, different biology and different strengths, don’t need a survey for that now, do we?

Stress is the enemy of success. 

No great thing has ever been done out of stress – passion yes, dedication yes, honesty yes.

If you really pay attention, you’ll observe just how much people love the drama! It’s arousing, erotic, exciting to people.

In the last few years I’ve seen it, just how many pressures and expectations outside influences try to weight us down with. This, as a side note, is why it’s so important to say no. It’s okay to disagree with bullshit.

Intuitive living means authenticity, leaving room! 

Again, observe just how desperately people want to know absolutely everything, immediately if not sooner! Having to have an opinion on every single issue.

I’ve done the same. Now, there are many things I really don’t give a fuck about. You won’t know the secrets of everyone’s hearts and trying to do so is totalitarian – a means of control. Those who want to know all about everything and everyone are never peaceful people.

I wrote recently about minding your own business. It’s one thing to just talk about other people and wanting to have no privacy, the stronger man will quit needing to relentlessly pry into their counterparts.

Openness is great but only pay attention to what you can change and that means learning to be satisfied with what YOU’RE doing. If you need to eat some junk food, do it, balance. I hear so-called influencers saying to completely cut out pleasurable things. Fuck that. 

Obsessed with Keto, they never manage to get into ketosis and insist they’re allergic to wheat. They’re not, they’re just obsessed, rigid and, again, observe how miserable they are.

I am going, whether you need it or not, to give you permission to FEEL GOOD and to FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

DON’T get trapped in a mentality that any single thing is the magic bullet solution to your entire life and now and forever. It isn’t. Life shifts, you develop (if you allow it) and your tastes will undoubtedly change as you grow up. I’m 42 and I’m only really starting.

Regret nothing. It’s all passed.

Embrace the small things you want and enjoy them, I guarantee that will get you over your supposed wheat allergy.

Have a grand vision for your life and pursue it, remembering at all times to be open to unexpected pleasures.

That’s what it means to live intuitively.

Are you a prisoner of people-pleasing? I certainly have been.

Every day, I witness people who are really struggling. They need to fit in, they silence their own intuition and make shockingly bad decisions as a result.

YOU decide!

Yes, that’s right. You decide. It’s your life.

Here’s the thing you have to do though. You have to face the wrath, pettiness and disagreeableness of other peoples’ reactions. These may be from friends, family, colleagues, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends (Side note: I hate (and don’t use) the term partner in these cases – a partner is a business acquaintance – fact!).

Literally in the last few weeks, I’ve felt a wave of ‘I am not bothered anymore’ about such reactions bathe me in the relief.

Imagine what that would feel like – the freedom to say what you need to. You’ve always that freedom by the way, you’ve just been frightened and believe me, that’s understandable. Now that I’ve turned 42, I’ve realise I’ve either got to fish or cut bait. No more fucking about.

‘YOU decide’ means taking responsibility, naturally. It also means establishing what really matters (which is actually very little).

What can you change?

What can’t you change?

Which one are you focusing on?

What are you getting done?

That’s right!

YOU decide.

People are terrified of saying “No.” I’ve been one of them.

We’ve been so coddled as a culture to the point of total obedience.

When you say “No.”, you open the floodgates to all manner of behaviour from people and most people want an ‘easy’ life and neglect to stand up for themselves. Are you one of those people?

Here’s what I’m thinking……

Whatever the behaviour, and let’s face it, it’s not going to be much worse than being called some bad names and hearing some raised-voices, learn to embrace it.

The other day I wrote about making fun of whatever you’re going through. Let’s bring that to the table here too.

Every day, life becomes shorter.

Live it with confidence, live it peacefully and let other peoples’ behaviour wash over you.

I’ve been at the sharp end of many peoples’ opinions, listening to what they say they want and have wanted from me.

Never allow other peoples’ expectations to shadow your own ambitions. 

When people express doubts, in fact, when they say anything – they’re not talking about you. 

They’re worried for themselves.

They wouldn’t choose what you choose.

They’re living minutely.

And they don’t see it! Wilful blindness.

Embrace making massive, bold decisions. You’d be amazed at what solutions present themselves when you authentically express what you want and that you deserve to truly have it.

If other people have done great things, that means there are people to learn from and solutions to implement.

DREAM BIG TODAY!

DREAM BIG EVERYDAY!

You don’t hear this phrase often now. Everyone feels entitled to be involved in everyone’s business.

Fuck off I tell such people.

There are three kinds of business

Yours

Other Peoples’

God’s

Start locally! Charity begins at home and that starts with you.

You’ll never control people and attempting to is what we call Tyranny.

Be Your Own Boss – Live Your Own Life – In The Best Possible Way!

When you’ve been through a lot in your life, the temptation is to try and sort everything out, all at once, in a crazy hurry.

If you’re anything like me, you don’t want to suffer through life but sometimes it’s very difficult to escape the ghosts of your past.

People talk about gratitude but the way they address it is incredibly shallow.

The first step is to actually desire satisfaction, to want to be free. That’s before you do anything.

Next, define what is enough. What do you need to get done in the day that will leave you feeling satisfied and accomplished.

After that, observe all the good things in your life and either thank the Universe/God for them or, if they involve a specific person, for goodness sake let them know!

Success is a feeling as well as an act. Do you really believe you’re successful?

If so, rinse, repeat and you’ll find not only happiness comes but also peace.

It is a day-trip today. My man and I are going sightseeing in the countryside!

When I was first with my lovely boyfriend, I was very angry. Paranoid too. Everything was about power and rage for me.

Why?

Programming.

It’s hard to break patterns of behaviour when you’ve been so intrenched in them, for so long.

Why?

Security.

Most don’t want freedom – that means taking responsibility as an adult.

Most people want predictability – even if it means being miserable because it’s familiar.

It was last night that my boyfriend announced this lovely surprise of our day-trip and shortly after writing this I will head out.

I used to reject such spontaneous gifts.

Why?

Control-freak here.

The beautiful thing is, I learn to accept these happy instances, the more peaceful I become, the more grateful I become, the more open to experience I become.

Sounds good right?

Yes.