If you’re a curious bod like me, you’ll end up exploring down many an avenue, you’ll uncover rabbit holes that others don’t see, you’ll have a genuine thirst for answers and wisdom and truth.
Recently, I’ve encountered a small cohort of practical, gay men who aren’t into the alphabet bollocks, who are open about the fact they enjoy wanking and are building communities for likeminded chaps. All very stimulating and arousing too. I’ve found my foray most refreshing but it’s been something of a distraction.
Inevitably, people will fall into various scrapes of cognitive dissonance.
The ‘marriage’ issue being one. I’m gay and don’t agree with gay marriage. There’s no point in it, all the marriages are ‘open’. They will say they can’t live without the other person but you don’t need to get ‘married’ if you’re openly fucking other men (and often women too).
It’s not just gay men but bi men who can’t decide between Arthur and Martha. It’s a subversion – and I’m not moralising here. It’s definitional. If you take an established principle/institution and alter it, that’s a subversion (and let’s face it, these days we know it’s a deliberate, political move). Marriage isn’t about the couple, it’s about the children and gay people shouldn’t be parents either. It’s selfish to the children to deprive them of at least one of their biological parents. Next to no one considers this.
Whenever you encounter people who say ‘this is how things are’ or ‘how things should be’, what they mean is they just want you to agree with their view, whether you endorse it or not.
What I have advantageously witnessed, however, is the original reasons why people start these communities. It will usually be an artistic pursuit, it reminds me of what I’ve wanted to do online. The lessons are never lost just because you’ve stumbled upon something that isn’t your path. There’s always wisdom to be found. That’s my view anyway.
Be committed to what is authentically and uniquely you. Listen to what people have to say but understand you can do things your way.