Goodness, I had two very intense dreams last night.
After a very transformational but emotionally brutal conversation with my boyfriend about how difficult I have found it to be confident and be myself, it’s not surprising that one of the dreams was running away from a mother like figure and literally rappelling down a vast ship on chains and the other where the police were investigating my apartment, you’ll get an idea of how I’ve felt un-personified in my life.
Why? Why what? Well!
Why do we still rally around for peoples’ approval? – that’s one thing.
Why do we not stand up for ourselves? Usually because the outcomes have been either very stressful or potentially threatening, that’s another!
Why do we refuse to accept reality? – that’s a big one!
There are times in life you simply have to do the uncomfortable stuff. And it is uncomfortable BUT far better than being stunted in your own growth and development.
I am leaving London after over 20 years, it’s been a rollercoaster, there have been many highs and lows but the move is really for me. Cities are crazy now, no getting away from it and I am a country person, most definitely.
The crazy thing is, I’ve always known this and so have those closest to me but still I have stayed here and ‘tried to make it work’ – don’t do this.
“To thine ownself be true.” Not delusional, not angry, truthful. It’s not easy when first you try.
But here’s a big why – why are you being a smaller version of yourself? The answers to this will change your life for the better, if you act on them.
My boyfriend read me the translation of a poem in his native Portuguese and it said this,
“Everything is worth it when the soul is not too small.” – meaning? Big shiny dreams, you can be stronger and more decisive than you give yourself credit for, you can face adversity and come out the other end of the tunnel.
So, I conclude. Forget ‘why’ and simply ask ‘why the fuck not!’