No matter how well-meaning people are, they are not you.
It’s the same for all of us, of course, to varying degrees.
When you go to work on what it is you really want, you’re going to inevitably encounter a lot of contradictory beliefs, urges, psychological traps, stuff that is totally inauthentic to who you are as a man.
It’s a lonely feeling and, often, a powerless one.
In my 20s and 30s, I had a sporadically recurring dream of being in a wilderness, forested location, trying to untangle strands of weeds and root systems. Usually there was someone standing over me and when I would wake up, the feeling of everything still being knotted up lingered in my body.
It was an entombed feeling, frustrating, distressing. I would have to get out of bed, wander around my room until the feeling wore off. I would sometimes have to audibly verbalise my anguish until it passed. Sounds dramatic huh!
Well!
That’s what’s going on inside us all the time, we just learn to mask and deny – we can become quite skilled at doing so – dangerous. It always erupts out later. That’s why I’m in therapy and it’s why I often feel anxious or angry.
You are not alone in this.
The frustration you feel is a reflection of what you can become.
You can’t go around or over nor under, you must go through. You’ll be glad you do!